It helps me face fear when I put into practice things that you (Tara) teach in your 2 books: The 1st arrow of shame, fear and self-loathing is “not my fault and I’m not to blame. “ And the 2nd arrow is a conditioned response. A program of fear that is a trance. I tell myself this is my lost inner teen that needs to be protected and loved.
I share with my clients that our fears are really protectors borne of our past hurts. They want to help us, look out for us. But they are not who we are, and we don’t need to give them the keys to the vehicle that drives us. We can thank them and release them as we move forward on our path.
I practice R.a.i.n., recognition – accept /allow – investigate and nurture. Also breathing , with self compassion (hand on heart) and nonjudgmental awareness.
Praying to God ; asking for “His” help and direction, then being patient and trusting the response—which usually comes in a felt sense, or something I hear in another person’s words, or something that I see (on a billboard, or in a magazine, or in a book, etc.). It is also helpful to try and keep things simple (doing the next reasonable and constructive task on my plate without getting ahead of myself) and to take things a day at a time without jumping to global conclusions about anything—all the while staying faithful that things will work out. I simply have to Trust while staying humble, faithful, and flexible (willingness to change course from what I initially thought should be the indicated course of action based on habits or plans). All of this as part of a context that is composed of Prayer, Meditation, and a supportive Community.
Big fears are easy to face. Like flying – I just determined that I wouldn’t let it control my life. I persisted in facing it, flying in spite of it. I still squeeze the armrests during take off and landing, but I no longer let the fear dominate. However, the constant worry and fear over so many little things is what paralyzes me. It’s stopped me from moving forward in my career and facing difficult situations. I try to breathe deep and speak positive words to myself. Centering myself helps as well. I could do better at this, but it’s better than it was.
I get claustrophobic. It started happening in my early 40’s. The first time was on a plane. And then I started to have panics attacks–in the boarding area waiting to get on a plane–that were about being afraid that I would feel claustrophobic, the “fear of the fear.” What helped me was to stay with it. I could tell when either kind of fear was about to arise; something about my vision, my overall sense of being in whatever room I was in. So I would tell myself: it’s coming, and while it won’t be pleasant, I know that I will make it through, because every time in the past, I’ve made it through. And when the fear arrived, I would say, “Here it is, just like before and it’s not pleasant, but I know I’ve been here before and I know how this goes.” And then, as it started to pass, I would tell myself, “and this is how it goes, how it settles and begins to retreat.” And finally, I would sit in silence and say to myself, “and now it’s gone, as I knew it would eventually do, and all is well, and I’m still here, and I’m still me.” And somehow, that process–especially the last part, the acknowledging what had just happened, and that while it wasn’t pleasant, it was over and I was still here. And I was still me.
I try breathing, praying and chanting mantras but mostly facing fear is a leap of faith for me. I make it so that I have to take certain risks because I started a study programme and don’t want to give up. I’ve a feel the fear and do it anyway policy. I know when I’m more fearful as I withdraw and lose my sense of humour. Often at those times it is difficult to connect. I would like to manage stress better.
I see the fear as a part of me that is very young. I ask it what it needs and wants from me. Usually it is to be held and loved, so I hold it in my mind like I would hold my children or a frightened pet. This allows it to calm down and trust other parts of me or my higher self to handle the fear. While doing this i breathe and center myself using mindfulnessI. I still may feel it at a body level but it allows me to go through it and learn what I can.
Half the battle for me is recognizing when fear is at the root of an emotion or reaction. Thanks to you, your books, your talks and meditations, and to mindfulness meditation, I am learning how to do this. Then I practice softening into my heart’s center and allowing the fear to be there, to stay with it. It’s difficult but I’m getting better at it.
Acknowledging when fear is arising so I can disidentify from it and then moving out of my headspace and into my body to allow it to be where it moves and is transformed effortlessly, while holding it with compassion. Also Remembering my deepest intention to live in the freedom of my true essence. All things I learned from you Tara! I have no words for the gratitude I feel for how your practices have deepened and connected me to my true essence, forever changing my life.
I allow it for my benefit and growth. I now very rarely experience fear unless I step in front of a car or something. I walked the razor’s edge with fear many years ago is why I’m not scared anymore. I sat on the floor holding myself, thinking of everything that scared me until my fear climaxed and left. I kept telling myself that it couldn’t hurt me physically, so I was in no danger. It’s only for strong people and it’s terrible for a little while, but fear has stayed away for about 15 years now. I learn from every emotion. They really help you grow it you allow them to blow through.
Time on my own to integrate life’s experiences.
Writing about it
Talking about it to a trusted friend.
Going for daily walks
Attention to breath
Healthy eating
Thank you Tara for your gift. My fear of heights was faced 6 years ago, around my 70th birthday, while visiting Balata Gardens in Martinique. “You don’t need this anymore,” a voice in my head firmly spoke. I climbed the ladder to reach the hanging bridges that swayed high above the gardens below; I knew it was time, and that time itself would set me free! As I walked across the swinging bridges…I felt that I was moving forward into the future, and that whatever fear I had experienced, was no longer serving me well.” It was one of the most freeing experiences of my life!
Mindfulness helps me. I take a deep breath, I reconnect with myself. I try to be in acceptance and to let go. I feel space, I transform my fear, recognizing its presence.
Mindfulness practice helps me most to face my fears – getting quiet and discovering what is going on inside gives me the strength and the inner knowledge to move forward.
What helps me face fear is knowing, finally, that fear is not the face of truth. It tries to eat me and hasn’t yet though made me feel very down. I am in a time of fear right now because of an unknown future and past important relationships I am unable to heal. There are many. But I have been practicing being in the heart and living what I call heart values: trust, kindness, joy etc. The power of these values are returning me slowly to my heart center. Prayer, too. And finding things to nurture myself with.
Thank you for this, I needed it. Looking forward to next time.
Feeling a deep kindness towards myself helps me in fear. I remember all the things my body and I have been through together: losses, cancer treatments, uncertainties about my future…and I just want to hold my body in kindness and gratitude for everything it has endured.
What helps me face fear? Knowing that i have gotten through challenging situations before, even the ones I thought were impossible so I can do it again. Also, letting myself know that it is ok to not be perfect. Knowing that if I face whatever I am afraid of I will leave stronger, more resilient and more knowledgeable about myself.
I am a bio-physicist in the fields of gnomic research, I am dutch, aged 67. In 2006 I adopted a teenaged child. Now she is 31. She is bipolar and very anxious. What helps me and my daughter to face fear is to write two diaries. One as a kind of emotional feed back and the second one a more scientific one is a Journal about what makes us scared and the reason why.By pin it down we both try to understand about the function of the “”trigger”within the situation. A few months later we use both Journals as a feed back. Sometimes, in the blink of an eye an understanding is arisen somewhere in our mind which set us free and makes me happy too
This is exactly what controls my life. What helps me face fear? A deeper motivation to self improve, learn, grow and develop; to be well and enjoy life! But it can be a challenge at times when my fear/anxiety is ruling.
Writing all the way through to peace, to finding the bigger picture, to opening up my heart to myself and others – the history, the circumstances, human nature.
I have multiple tools and tactics to face fear. Before I pick any one, I begin with what I call “NAIL”. This acronym helps me “NAIL it!”. It is a lot like Tara’s RAIN – acronym’ tool!
N = notice,
A = accept,
I = intentional inquiry, and
L = letting go (including not taking it personally).
It is about noticing now only what is happening outside, but more crucially my inner experience, feelings, self-talk, self-image… focusing on flipping the script!
It’s safe to be afraid.
I’m safe.
The universe is the womb of the Divine.
We have everything we need here.
I can love and accept everyone without having to help everyone.
Simple deep breathing and mindful focus on the moment with these affirmations.
I’m right where I’m supposed to be.
Every circumstance is dependent upon many other circumstances.
Thank you for your wise words and your willingness.
“Do whatever you do, your willingness is enough.” “Almost everyone can use a little more oxygen.” Phil Laut
Focusing on my breath helps and when I practise meditation daily I find that it helps me too to stay more in control of my emotions and I don’t react so much. I suffer from health anxiety and spend a lot of my time worrying about my health which is affecting my life badly.
What helps me face fear is being compassionate with myself and acknowledging it’s a state of mind that will pass. Embracing my inner child helps me gain access to my wise heart. This shifts my focus to nurturing rather than pushing away and panicking. Breathing and connecting to my body is part of coming into the present moment. Thank you for your video.
Thanks, Tara. My way of dealing with fear is to get to know it in meditation. The question “what is really at the root here ?” comes up until I get to at least one thing. Otherwise, the mind has a way of clumping things together. I love your work and you always inspire. Thanks for sharing your video!
Thank you for this! I have found that when I can practice mindfulness regularly, I can better cope. I have also switched most of my reading to books on related topics. Your books have been helpful, along with those of Thich Nhat Hahn, Brene Brown, Pema Chodron, Rolf Gates… it seems if I can stay regulary reminded of my potential for peace I will have more of it.
Love, light & gratitude!
Since I lost my business and was forced to retire, I have become very adept at not facing fear. My usual response to fear is freezing, but in the past I could move past the freeze and find ways to deal with what scared me. Now I feel quite powerless in the face of all the many many things that I fear. I am always self-medicating with behaviors that I know are ultimately self-destructive, and I am chronically depressed.
Thank you for this video. I have noticed how fear has been running in my mind in the past few weeks. I fear a lot over my health, life, and work. It had affected how I focused on my work. I felt like I need to run…but run to where? Distractions! Social media, random games, and worried thoughts.
But I need help to get myself out of my “fearcloud”. I want to make this cloud smaller, so I can be more productive in my work. Thank you for this video and I hope to see more in the future.
I feel as though I’m a person who has functioned in fear my whole life.
I’ve done my best despite feeling very weighed down with the assumption that this is how it is for everyone.
I’ve avoided chasing my dreams for 47 years due to fear of not being enough. Thinking others are better at what they do because I have less to offer than them. I finally find myself breaking through that. Knowing that somehow my experience has happened to create an awareness to help others somehow. All the pain, trauma and turmoil was about experiencing the extremes so as to know it’s possible to heal from them.
I used to fake it to make it to get through life.
Now I practice every day to be my real self. Respond rather than react. Living in heart allows me to offer myself a kindness a couldn’t manage before.
I still have a long way to go.
Your teachings have been pivotal in many stages of my life.
THANKYOU so much Tara.
All my love Helen Masters
R A I N which I learned from Tara’s podcast a few years ago. Deep breathing has helped with the reactivity which I battle with when anger, as a response, rears it’s nasty head.
I find it difficult to zone in on where exactly I feel fear in my body – other than my head. This happens frequently as I follow politics and disgust has turned into fear. Fear for us as a nation, and more so for Mother Earth.
My fears : What’s keeping me from succeeding…. I found out that it what actually succeeding that I was afraid of. And am still afraid of. I feel pressure that I won’t do a good job, or I will let somebody down, or I will not know the answers. Then anxiety kicks in and once that happens… I’m doomed!! I am in an active phase of learning that it’s okay to screw up, that there is no shame in that. All of us screw up! I am learning to believe in myself and know that ” if he/she can do it, well so can I.” Its a long difficult practicing to practice self emotional care. I practice everyday.
A daily meditation practice has changed my life. Where once I lived in anxiety and fear, now I see anxiety and fear arise and pass away. My practice is a true blessing.
This a very important topic as it´s very common, sometimes we´re not even aware of it. Living in fear set us apart from joy and happiness. Fearless heart can change life and thus, humanity will be better!
It helps me face fear when I put into practice things that you (Tara) teach in your 2 books: The 1st arrow of shame, fear and self-loathing is “not my fault and I’m not to blame. “ And the 2nd arrow is a conditioned response. A program of fear that is a trance. I tell myself this is my lost inner teen that needs to be protected and loved.
The title from an old self help book “feel the fear and do it anyway”.
I share with my clients that our fears are really protectors borne of our past hurts. They want to help us, look out for us. But they are not who we are, and we don’t need to give them the keys to the vehicle that drives us. We can thank them and release them as we move forward on our path.
Your words! They are making a big difference in my life.
I am considering taking your 6 week course on this topic – is this the same content?
Thank you!
I practice R.a.i.n., recognition – accept /allow – investigate and nurture. Also breathing , with self compassion (hand on heart) and nonjudgmental awareness.
You
Remembering to accept the moment as it is
Taking refuge into Beloved
Praying to God ; asking for “His” help and direction, then being patient and trusting the response—which usually comes in a felt sense, or something I hear in another person’s words, or something that I see (on a billboard, or in a magazine, or in a book, etc.). It is also helpful to try and keep things simple (doing the next reasonable and constructive task on my plate without getting ahead of myself) and to take things a day at a time without jumping to global conclusions about anything—all the while staying faithful that things will work out. I simply have to Trust while staying humble, faithful, and flexible (willingness to change course from what I initially thought should be the indicated course of action based on habits or plans). All of this as part of a context that is composed of Prayer, Meditation, and a supportive Community.
Big fears are easy to face. Like flying – I just determined that I wouldn’t let it control my life. I persisted in facing it, flying in spite of it. I still squeeze the armrests during take off and landing, but I no longer let the fear dominate. However, the constant worry and fear over so many little things is what paralyzes me. It’s stopped me from moving forward in my career and facing difficult situations. I try to breathe deep and speak positive words to myself. Centering myself helps as well. I could do better at this, but it’s better than it was.
Meditation helps Tara, but I am still using anti-anxiety medication. I am looking forward to the next video❤️
I get claustrophobic. It started happening in my early 40’s. The first time was on a plane. And then I started to have panics attacks–in the boarding area waiting to get on a plane–that were about being afraid that I would feel claustrophobic, the “fear of the fear.” What helped me was to stay with it. I could tell when either kind of fear was about to arise; something about my vision, my overall sense of being in whatever room I was in. So I would tell myself: it’s coming, and while it won’t be pleasant, I know that I will make it through, because every time in the past, I’ve made it through. And when the fear arrived, I would say, “Here it is, just like before and it’s not pleasant, but I know I’ve been here before and I know how this goes.” And then, as it started to pass, I would tell myself, “and this is how it goes, how it settles and begins to retreat.” And finally, I would sit in silence and say to myself, “and now it’s gone, as I knew it would eventually do, and all is well, and I’m still here, and I’m still me.” And somehow, that process–especially the last part, the acknowledging what had just happened, and that while it wasn’t pleasant, it was over and I was still here. And I was still me.
Stepping out of self-absorption, either with or without the intention to do so.
I try breathing, praying and chanting mantras but mostly facing fear is a leap of faith for me. I make it so that I have to take certain risks because I started a study programme and don’t want to give up. I’ve a feel the fear and do it anyway policy. I know when I’m more fearful as I withdraw and lose my sense of humour. Often at those times it is difficult to connect. I would like to manage stress better.
I see the fear as a part of me that is very young. I ask it what it needs and wants from me. Usually it is to be held and loved, so I hold it in my mind like I would hold my children or a frightened pet. This allows it to calm down and trust other parts of me or my higher self to handle the fear. While doing this i breathe and center myself using mindfulnessI. I still may feel it at a body level but it allows me to go through it and learn what I can.
Seeing it only as a part that is doing a fire fighting job but in a way that has become unhelpful, static and based in unprocessed past trauma.
Half the battle for me is recognizing when fear is at the root of an emotion or reaction. Thanks to you, your books, your talks and meditations, and to mindfulness meditation, I am learning how to do this. Then I practice softening into my heart’s center and allowing the fear to be there, to stay with it. It’s difficult but I’m getting better at it.
Acknowledging when fear is arising so I can disidentify from it and then moving out of my headspace and into my body to allow it to be where it moves and is transformed effortlessly, while holding it with compassion. Also Remembering my deepest intention to live in the freedom of my true essence. All things I learned from you Tara! I have no words for the gratitude I feel for how your practices have deepened and connected me to my true essence, forever changing my life.
I allow it for my benefit and growth. I now very rarely experience fear unless I step in front of a car or something. I walked the razor’s edge with fear many years ago is why I’m not scared anymore. I sat on the floor holding myself, thinking of everything that scared me until my fear climaxed and left. I kept telling myself that it couldn’t hurt me physically, so I was in no danger. It’s only for strong people and it’s terrible for a little while, but fear has stayed away for about 15 years now. I learn from every emotion. They really help you grow it you allow them to blow through.
Time on my own to integrate life’s experiences.
Writing about it
Talking about it to a trusted friend.
Going for daily walks
Attention to breath
Healthy eating
Thank you Tara for your gift. My fear of heights was faced 6 years ago, around my 70th birthday, while visiting Balata Gardens in Martinique. “You don’t need this anymore,” a voice in my head firmly spoke. I climbed the ladder to reach the hanging bridges that swayed high above the gardens below; I knew it was time, and that time itself would set me free! As I walked across the swinging bridges…I felt that I was moving forward into the future, and that whatever fear I had experienced, was no longer serving me well.” It was one of the most freeing experiences of my life!
Mindfulness helps me. I take a deep breath, I reconnect with myself. I try to be in acceptance and to let go. I feel space, I transform my fear, recognizing its presence.
Mindfulness practice helps me most to face my fears – getting quiet and discovering what is going on inside gives me the strength and the inner knowledge to move forward.
I struggle with my fear… by staying calm, breathing into the fear, remembering about love, self-compassion and that all of this is impermanent.
What helps me face fear is knowing, finally, that fear is not the face of truth. It tries to eat me and hasn’t yet though made me feel very down. I am in a time of fear right now because of an unknown future and past important relationships I am unable to heal. There are many. But I have been practicing being in the heart and living what I call heart values: trust, kindness, joy etc. The power of these values are returning me slowly to my heart center. Prayer, too. And finding things to nurture myself with.
Thank you for this, I needed it. Looking forward to next time.
Feeling a deep kindness towards myself helps me in fear. I remember all the things my body and I have been through together: losses, cancer treatments, uncertainties about my future…and I just want to hold my body in kindness and gratitude for everything it has endured.
It helps to know there are other people, even a community of people, to work with.
Fantastic wisdom from the experts. Thank you sharing.
Divine Timing . ?
What helps me face fear? Knowing that i have gotten through challenging situations before, even the ones I thought were impossible so I can do it again. Also, letting myself know that it is ok to not be perfect. Knowing that if I face whatever I am afraid of I will leave stronger, more resilient and more knowledgeable about myself.
I am a bio-physicist in the fields of gnomic research, I am dutch, aged 67. In 2006 I adopted a teenaged child. Now she is 31. She is bipolar and very anxious. What helps me and my daughter to face fear is to write two diaries. One as a kind of emotional feed back and the second one a more scientific one is a Journal about what makes us scared and the reason why.By pin it down we both try to understand about the function of the “”trigger”within the situation. A few months later we use both Journals as a feed back. Sometimes, in the blink of an eye an understanding is arisen somewhere in our mind which set us free and makes me happy too
This is exactly what controls my life. What helps me face fear? A deeper motivation to self improve, learn, grow and develop; to be well and enjoy life! But it can be a challenge at times when my fear/anxiety is ruling.
Writing all the way through to peace, to finding the bigger picture, to opening up my heart to myself and others – the history, the circumstances, human nature.
I have multiple tools and tactics to face fear. Before I pick any one, I begin with what I call “NAIL”. This acronym helps me “NAIL it!”. It is a lot like Tara’s RAIN – acronym’ tool!
N = notice,
A = accept,
I = intentional inquiry, and
L = letting go (including not taking it personally).
It is about noticing now only what is happening outside, but more crucially my inner experience, feelings, self-talk, self-image… focusing on flipping the script!
It’s safe to be afraid.
I’m safe.
The universe is the womb of the Divine.
We have everything we need here.
I can love and accept everyone without having to help everyone.
Simple deep breathing and mindful focus on the moment with these affirmations.
I’m right where I’m supposed to be.
Every circumstance is dependent upon many other circumstances.
Thank you for your wise words and your willingness.
“Do whatever you do, your willingness is enough.” “Almost everyone can use a little more oxygen.” Phil Laut
Focusing on my breath helps and when I practise meditation daily I find that it helps me too to stay more in control of my emotions and I don’t react so much. I suffer from health anxiety and spend a lot of my time worrying about my health which is affecting my life badly.
What helps me face fear is being compassionate with myself and acknowledging it’s a state of mind that will pass. Embracing my inner child helps me gain access to my wise heart. This shifts my focus to nurturing rather than pushing away and panicking. Breathing and connecting to my body is part of coming into the present moment. Thank you for your video.
acknowledging it. face it, manage it, breathe and let it escape out
Thanks, Tara. My way of dealing with fear is to get to know it in meditation. The question “what is really at the root here ?” comes up until I get to at least one thing. Otherwise, the mind has a way of clumping things together. I love your work and you always inspire. Thanks for sharing your video!
Bob C.
Thank you for this! I have found that when I can practice mindfulness regularly, I can better cope. I have also switched most of my reading to books on related topics. Your books have been helpful, along with those of Thich Nhat Hahn, Brene Brown, Pema Chodron, Rolf Gates… it seems if I can stay regulary reminded of my potential for peace I will have more of it.
Love, light & gratitude!
Knowing, realising and accepting it is the only way forward.
Since I lost my business and was forced to retire, I have become very adept at not facing fear. My usual response to fear is freezing, but in the past I could move past the freeze and find ways to deal with what scared me. Now I feel quite powerless in the face of all the many many things that I fear. I am always self-medicating with behaviors that I know are ultimately self-destructive, and I am chronically depressed.
Thank you for this video. I have noticed how fear has been running in my mind in the past few weeks. I fear a lot over my health, life, and work. It had affected how I focused on my work. I felt like I need to run…but run to where? Distractions! Social media, random games, and worried thoughts.
But I need help to get myself out of my “fearcloud”. I want to make this cloud smaller, so I can be more productive in my work. Thank you for this video and I hope to see more in the future.
RAIN, thank you Tara, it helps so much!
Being mindful of fear, breathing into the fear, slowing dow the reactivity, and then acting appropriately.
Comfort from a friend
I feel as though I’m a person who has functioned in fear my whole life.
I’ve done my best despite feeling very weighed down with the assumption that this is how it is for everyone.
I’ve avoided chasing my dreams for 47 years due to fear of not being enough. Thinking others are better at what they do because I have less to offer than them. I finally find myself breaking through that. Knowing that somehow my experience has happened to create an awareness to help others somehow. All the pain, trauma and turmoil was about experiencing the extremes so as to know it’s possible to heal from them.
I used to fake it to make it to get through life.
Now I practice every day to be my real self. Respond rather than react. Living in heart allows me to offer myself a kindness a couldn’t manage before.
I still have a long way to go.
Your teachings have been pivotal in many stages of my life.
THANKYOU so much Tara.
All my love Helen Masters
R A I N which I learned from Tara’s podcast a few years ago. Deep breathing has helped with the reactivity which I battle with when anger, as a response, rears it’s nasty head.
I find it difficult to zone in on where exactly I feel fear in my body – other than my head. This happens frequently as I follow politics and disgust has turned into fear. Fear for us as a nation, and more so for Mother Earth.
Feeling the sensation of feat
My fears : What’s keeping me from succeeding…. I found out that it what actually succeeding that I was afraid of. And am still afraid of. I feel pressure that I won’t do a good job, or I will let somebody down, or I will not know the answers. Then anxiety kicks in and once that happens… I’m doomed!! I am in an active phase of learning that it’s okay to screw up, that there is no shame in that. All of us screw up! I am learning to believe in myself and know that ” if he/she can do it, well so can I.” Its a long difficult practicing to practice self emotional care. I practice everyday.
A daily meditation practice has changed my life. Where once I lived in anxiety and fear, now I see anxiety and fear arise and pass away. My practice is a true blessing.
This a very important topic as it´s very common, sometimes we´re not even aware of it. Living in fear set us apart from joy and happiness. Fearless heart can change life and thus, humanity will be better!