Thank you Tara. I look forward to the next talk. What helps me face fear is something you say a lot, “this too.” I try and recognize “ok, I am afraid. When I am afraid my heart races, and yup, there it is, my hands get sweaty. I get a little dizzy and…” I call these reactions ‘fear’s buddies.’ By telling myself these physical reactions are normal for me, it lessens the panic.
The knowledge and awareness that fear is a conditioned mind pattern and illusion and that with faith, courage and trust we can do what we need to do and all will be ok.
One of my favorite techniques that I use with my clients is to have a dialogue with the anxious voices in one’s head (a variation of the Gestalt empty chair strategy). I also have people create a “c.r.a.p. board” on a sheet of paper where they write down every negative thought and feeling, along with their conflicts and anxieties. When they finish, I ask them to deeply relax and mindfully gaze at their “crap” without judgment. But my personal favorite is to repeat to myself “I breathe in peace, I breathe out fear,” an exercise taught by Thich Nhat Hanh.
Mark Waldman
Executive MBA Faculty
Loyola Marymount University
One of my favorite techniques that I use with my clients is to have a dialogue with the anxious voices in one’s head (a variation of the Gestalt empty chair strategy). I also have people create a “c.r.a.p. board” on a sheet of paper where they write down every negative thought and feeling, along with their conflicts and anxieties. When they finish, I ask them to deeply relax and mindfully gaze at their “crap” without judgment. But my personal favorite is to repeat to myself “I breathe in peace, I breathe out fear,” an exercise taught by Thich Nhat Hanh.
Deep breathing and meditation have helped me in facing fear and The practice of recognizing that all of us experience fear and that we are not alone. I say to myself “May this suffering serve to increase compassion to all beings who are experiencing the same situation”.
Sharon Middleton
Ontario Canada
In the past I’ve found that talk therapy helped me the most. Being able to express my emotions, i.e. fears and anxieties (many of them well founded) helped me feel better understood by others. It’s almost as though I had trouble being able to understand (accept?) myself, if others who are important to me couldn’t understand me.
I’ve had a lot of trauma in my life from a very early age, and I have overcome much.Now I am facing chronic illness and it scares me more than i want to realize. I fear suffering, even though I am well acquainted with it. But physical suffering is very different for me than the old emotional and mental suffering, and it scares me outright.
I learned some mindfulness exercises years ago, when I ‘graduated’ from talk therapy, and they helped me a lot to focus on building a life worth living. I wonder how, or if, it is possible to apply these same exercises to physical burdens.
First, mindfulness – being aware that I am feeling fear/anxiety. Next, acceptance and either working out or being in nature. Either help me step back and observe. Once at this point, the fear/anxiety subsides. I would say that for my clients, mindfulness is the starting point, too, but what works for each needs to be customized for each.
Thank you for your wonderful work! I defer and refer to you often in my work!
What can help anyone who is touched by fear? Listening to Tara Brach. Truly. We are so lucky that she shares the cumulation of her strong academic grounding, extensive experience as a therapist, insights from her own health challenges, deep wisdom and delightful humour.
Gratefully yours, Liz Rankin
The things that help me the most are listening to and doing meditations that focus on my breath; doing the long deep inbreaths and outbreaths for a period of time while keeping my thoughts focused there. And also allowing fear or worry to occupy a space in my consciousness, but not letting it have control. My adult son practices with Tara’s meditations often and has passed this on to me. It really helps.
Tara, I loved your book Radical Acceptance, which was a comfort to me many years ago in very difficult life circumstances. My son & I fit into the 1st group that you described in this video, where the hypervigilance is legitimate due to ongoing REAL threats (emotional, physical, financial, or combo of all 3). We both have significant childhood trauma. I think this is harder to handle, in spite of practicing mindfulness, when the danger is really in front of us on a regular basis (oppression from others, financial pilfering in spite of our dire financial circumstances etc). We often feel in danger of annihilation in all 4 realms (physical, emotional, mental, & spiritual), which is a frightening place to be. It affects to very quality & essence of our lives, so peace & safety\trust seems to be constantly out of reach!! Wonder if there is a difference in manifestation & treatment approaches used for childhood trauma versus adult onset trauma??!
I greatly appreciated your style of mini-video, with stop& start buttons, as well as written information. This is of major help to my son & I, as I am working on our needs as best as I can, given my health care background coupled with dire financial circumstances. We have TRULY been in (& continue to be) in survival mode for many years, & progressing slowly in our efforts to move forwards in our lives, beyond Flight, Fright, Freeze. Look forwards to your video 2, Breaking the “Worry Addiction”
I deeply appreciate all of your work Tara and co. It’s incredibly heartwarming to know I am not alone in my pursuit to ease the rampant fear that permeates our existence on a daily basis. Just listening to your talks provides me w a consistent form of supervision and support for me and my clients.
Pausing ; breathing and acknowledging what’s true in the moment.
These reminders are essential in keeping me grounded
?♥️
Hitting the rock bottom, having enough cycled through the same habit, losing energy, not having enough energy to fight it any more…are all part of surrender process
Thank you Tara! I find it so very true that when I begun practicing meditation and becoming aware of my fear of public speaking that fear did not control me any more. I realized that by going into that calm place by centering into that “scared” part in my body before I begin to talk, to look at the fear in the eyes” so to speak, it gives me a clear mind that allows me to speak without fear.
I think about how many times I have been fearful and my projection has been wrong, everything turned out ok. I have heard the expression “we are far more often afraid than we are harmed”.
Years ago, i derived so much from your writings in “Radical Acceptance”
Your question of what helps with fear ~ For myself, the missing link has been understanding how the Nervous System Works, how Trauma gets stuck and as it’s termed in nervous system language: you work “from the bottom up”. To the very foundations, often long before language could give a voice. So, you’re working with sensation. (I meant this to be a teeny sentance 😉 Until i educated myself about the nervous system and how to undo trauma and hard wiring….i kept bumping into the same old walls, which keep so many of us stuck. Even with Buddhist practice, this was a missing link. I’ve been an transformational counsellor myself for years, now retired. And am working with a woman who is Buddhist and has a profound understanding and remarkable skills with nervous system regulation, having been taught by Dr. Peter A. Levine. So, facing fear ….bit by bit (titration), learning how to undo, unravel, unhook…all the fight, flight , freeze….with skills to bring down overwhelm, and take us out of freeze and shutdown, i would say is absolutely indispensable. This , along with Buddhist practice, perfect! Namaste xox Choose Profession* (below) No facility there for: semi retired counselling, fine artist, singer…for the love of it, not professional.
Fear is normal and natural. It’s my response to fear that can cause the hang up. I typically stop breathing and jump out of my skin when my fear gets triggered.
I’ve been taught and teach my clients that the more regularly I meditate, the more space I’m creating between fear and reaction.
As that space expands through meditation, it allows me to slowdown, breathe, get back into my body, and think rationally! Then I can respond rather than react!
Hope this is helpful!
Thank you Tara!
I’ve listened to so many of your awesome CDs for years now and the one that really touched my heart is Radical self-acceptance. I also have Releasing the Grip of Fear which I will listen to again. This 3 part series is a wonderful reminder for me as I move through my Journey Into Wholeness at deeper levels or awareness. I also use EFT as another source for healing deep emotional wounding. You have been a fabulous teacher for me and your work has been a blessing in my life. I also found you and Jack K at the same time about 7 years ago, lucky for me!!
I try to keep reminding myself that the fear I’m facing usually is no more or less than a story I tell myself. But when it comes to fear stories I’m really pretty good and convincing. So even knowing about my story teller, there is this other guy in my head telling me, “He could be right you know”… This by the way can be fun proces and makes little fears workable. Then there are the serious unquestionably right fear stories and that’s where I usually get into trouble. Too much overwhelming information too little time and brain computing power…Or just not being alert
Knowing God is with me that He never forsakes me for this is His promise. Focusing on my breathing going in and out while speaking out loud God’s promises of being with me always and forever.
Hi, this have been so helpful for me. I have been struggling with fear all my life without even knowing what was wrong with me. I will start this practice of facing fear today. Being in nature always help me to calm down any fear. Thank you, was really easy and clear to understand.
I work really hard to control the outcome but it has literally made me ill at times. I have started meditating again which is lowering my stress response and allowing me to be mindfully open to realizing a decision making model for deeper self confidence.
When I feel fear is coming up in the form of anxiety due to projecting my future and trying to be in control, I can feel
my breathing getting shallower and thoughts of acting out are coming up. When I become aware, I try to come back to my breathing, deep inhale and exhale several times and reassuring myself “it’s all ok, trust and have faith” and holding myself. Being in nature and looking at the nature seeing how everything is alive and moving, always changing, I feel I am part of a bigger picture
It helps me face fear when I connect to my breathing and take a deep breath, put a hand over my chestbone and mindfully and gently give attention to my heart.
Writing out the mind loop I am in, the stories that are arising, and sometimes asking how old is the one who is in the experience of fear and how can I be with her in love and compassion, in this moment.
I find that my clients are overwhelmed by the feeling of fear and therefore don’t look at what they are actually afraid of. When we explore the thoughts and what actually might happen and then ask themselves, could they handle that, they often find they can. I also like to have them breathe in to give more space in their heart and chest for the emotion.
I actually found peace after i could not find any way out from fear. Sort of take fear or die. I my ego/self died and fear was gone. After that experience when when i feel new fear arise it often dissolves or softens when i accept or embrace it. Its not easy but i feel more honest and closer to the truth this way.
I will often think of the worst case scenario and recognize that I can handle that even though it would be hard. When I know I can handle the worst outcome my fear settles down.
What helps is Emboding the emotion ( fear). Find it in this body.
Just looking at it, it starts to soften and dissolve it. ( one of your teachings that resonated when first heard many years ago.
Thank you Tara. I look forward to the next talk. What helps me face fear is something you say a lot, “this too.” I try and recognize “ok, I am afraid. When I am afraid my heart races, and yup, there it is, my hands get sweaty. I get a little dizzy and…” I call these reactions ‘fear’s buddies.’ By telling myself these physical reactions are normal for me, it lessens the panic.
I’ve anexity since 2015 past corrections officer belching alot. Just had a MRI exam headaches
I have food addiction.please help me how to control it.I eat food not for being hungry and I am abese.
The knowledge and awareness that fear is a conditioned mind pattern and illusion and that with faith, courage and trust we can do what we need to do and all will be ok.
I am helped to face fear by writing about my feelings. Putting the details down where I can see them helps me get the context
One of my favorite techniques that I use with my clients is to have a dialogue with the anxious voices in one’s head (a variation of the Gestalt empty chair strategy). I also have people create a “c.r.a.p. board” on a sheet of paper where they write down every negative thought and feeling, along with their conflicts and anxieties. When they finish, I ask them to deeply relax and mindfully gaze at their “crap” without judgment. But my personal favorite is to repeat to myself “I breathe in peace, I breathe out fear,” an exercise taught by Thich Nhat Hanh.
Mark Waldman
Executive MBA Faculty
Loyola Marymount University
One of my favorite techniques that I use with my clients is to have a dialogue with the anxious voices in one’s head (a variation of the Gestalt empty chair strategy). I also have people create a “c.r.a.p. board” on a sheet of paper where they write down every negative thought and feeling, along with their conflicts and anxieties. When they finish, I ask them to deeply relax and mindfully gaze at their “crap” without judgment. But my personal favorite is to repeat to myself “I breathe in peace, I breathe out fear,” an exercise taught by Thich Nhat Hanh.
Feeling like I’m not alone
Meditation
Thinking positive thoughts about my self, reassuring myself that I can handle it
Telling myself the fear is not real
Deep breathing and meditation have helped me in facing fear and The practice of recognizing that all of us experience fear and that we are not alone. I say to myself “May this suffering serve to increase compassion to all beings who are experiencing the same situation”.
Sharon Middleton
Ontario Canada
In the past I’ve found that talk therapy helped me the most. Being able to express my emotions, i.e. fears and anxieties (many of them well founded) helped me feel better understood by others. It’s almost as though I had trouble being able to understand (accept?) myself, if others who are important to me couldn’t understand me.
I’ve had a lot of trauma in my life from a very early age, and I have overcome much.Now I am facing chronic illness and it scares me more than i want to realize. I fear suffering, even though I am well acquainted with it. But physical suffering is very different for me than the old emotional and mental suffering, and it scares me outright.
I learned some mindfulness exercises years ago, when I ‘graduated’ from talk therapy, and they helped me a lot to focus on building a life worth living. I wonder how, or if, it is possible to apply these same exercises to physical burdens.
First, mindfulness – being aware that I am feeling fear/anxiety. Next, acceptance and either working out or being in nature. Either help me step back and observe. Once at this point, the fear/anxiety subsides. I would say that for my clients, mindfulness is the starting point, too, but what works for each needs to be customized for each.
Thank you for your wonderful work! I defer and refer to you often in my work!
What can help anyone who is touched by fear? Listening to Tara Brach. Truly. We are so lucky that she shares the cumulation of her strong academic grounding, extensive experience as a therapist, insights from her own health challenges, deep wisdom and delightful humour.
Gratefully yours, Liz Rankin
The things that help me the most are listening to and doing meditations that focus on my breath; doing the long deep inbreaths and outbreaths for a period of time while keeping my thoughts focused there. And also allowing fear or worry to occupy a space in my consciousness, but not letting it have control. My adult son practices with Tara’s meditations often and has passed this on to me. It really helps.
Tara, I loved your book Radical Acceptance, which was a comfort to me many years ago in very difficult life circumstances. My son & I fit into the 1st group that you described in this video, where the hypervigilance is legitimate due to ongoing REAL threats (emotional, physical, financial, or combo of all 3). We both have significant childhood trauma. I think this is harder to handle, in spite of practicing mindfulness, when the danger is really in front of us on a regular basis (oppression from others, financial pilfering in spite of our dire financial circumstances etc). We often feel in danger of annihilation in all 4 realms (physical, emotional, mental, & spiritual), which is a frightening place to be. It affects to very quality & essence of our lives, so peace & safety\trust seems to be constantly out of reach!! Wonder if there is a difference in manifestation & treatment approaches used for childhood trauma versus adult onset trauma??!
I greatly appreciated your style of mini-video, with stop& start buttons, as well as written information. This is of major help to my son & I, as I am working on our needs as best as I can, given my health care background coupled with dire financial circumstances. We have TRULY been in (& continue to be) in survival mode for many years, & progressing slowly in our efforts to move forwards in our lives, beyond Flight, Fright, Freeze. Look forwards to your video 2, Breaking the “Worry Addiction”
I deeply appreciate all of your work Tara and co. It’s incredibly heartwarming to know I am not alone in my pursuit to ease the rampant fear that permeates our existence on a daily basis. Just listening to your talks provides me w a consistent form of supervision and support for me and my clients.
Pausing ; breathing and acknowledging what’s true in the moment.
These reminders are essential in keeping me grounded
?♥️
Hitting the rock bottom, having enough cycled through the same habit, losing energy, not having enough energy to fight it any more…are all part of surrender process
Knowing that I can move forward if the fear is dealt with.
Breathing helps me face fear and recognise why I may be experiencing fear at a particular moment.
Thank you Tara! I find it so very true that when I begun practicing meditation and becoming aware of my fear of public speaking that fear did not control me any more. I realized that by going into that calm place by centering into that “scared” part in my body before I begin to talk, to look at the fear in the eyes” so to speak, it gives me a clear mind that allows me to speak without fear.
I think about how many times I have been fearful and my projection has been wrong, everything turned out ok. I have heard the expression “we are far more often afraid than we are harmed”.
Hi Tara,
Years ago, i derived so much from your writings in “Radical Acceptance”
Your question of what helps with fear ~ For myself, the missing link has been understanding how the Nervous System Works, how Trauma gets stuck and as it’s termed in nervous system language: you work “from the bottom up”. To the very foundations, often long before language could give a voice. So, you’re working with sensation. (I meant this to be a teeny sentance 😉 Until i educated myself about the nervous system and how to undo trauma and hard wiring….i kept bumping into the same old walls, which keep so many of us stuck. Even with Buddhist practice, this was a missing link. I’ve been an transformational counsellor myself for years, now retired. And am working with a woman who is Buddhist and has a profound understanding and remarkable skills with nervous system regulation, having been taught by Dr. Peter A. Levine. So, facing fear ….bit by bit (titration), learning how to undo, unravel, unhook…all the fight, flight , freeze….with skills to bring down overwhelm, and take us out of freeze and shutdown, i would say is absolutely indispensable. This , along with Buddhist practice, perfect! Namaste xox Choose Profession* (below) No facility there for: semi retired counselling, fine artist, singer…for the love of it, not professional.
Breathing meditation,& sometimes facing my fears with humour. Realizing that we all can be unsure & awkward at times, and that’s Ok.
Fear is normal and natural. It’s my response to fear that can cause the hang up. I typically stop breathing and jump out of my skin when my fear gets triggered.
I’ve been taught and teach my clients that the more regularly I meditate, the more space I’m creating between fear and reaction.
As that space expands through meditation, it allows me to slowdown, breathe, get back into my body, and think rationally! Then I can respond rather than react!
Hope this is helpful!
Thank you Tara!
I’ve listened to so many of your awesome CDs for years now and the one that really touched my heart is Radical self-acceptance. I also have Releasing the Grip of Fear which I will listen to again. This 3 part series is a wonderful reminder for me as I move through my Journey Into Wholeness at deeper levels or awareness. I also use EFT as another source for healing deep emotional wounding. You have been a fabulous teacher for me and your work has been a blessing in my life. I also found you and Jack K at the same time about 7 years ago, lucky for me!!
Awareness and experiencing the fear.
Reconnect to my body And breath in order to not just react but behave more like i want to
Naming the fear and sending kindness to that place where we feel it seems to help.
Accepting fear as a means to protect us. Understanding to embrace it reduces its ability to immobilize us. Allowing themselves to be vulnerable.
Very interesting
Breathing and where applicable reading/researching more about the situation I am about to face to help reduce some of the fear of that ‘unknown’.
I try to keep reminding myself that the fear I’m facing usually is no more or less than a story I tell myself. But when it comes to fear stories I’m really pretty good and convincing. So even knowing about my story teller, there is this other guy in my head telling me, “He could be right you know”… This by the way can be fun proces and makes little fears workable. Then there are the serious unquestionably right fear stories and that’s where I usually get into trouble. Too much overwhelming information too little time and brain computing power…Or just not being alert
Inner resources such as safe place or grounding practices.
Knowing God is with me that He never forsakes me for this is His promise. Focusing on my breathing going in and out while speaking out loud God’s promises of being with me always and forever.
Hi, this have been so helpful for me. I have been struggling with fear all my life without even knowing what was wrong with me. I will start this practice of facing fear today. Being in nature always help me to calm down any fear. Thank you, was really easy and clear to understand.
Having someone I trust Be with me without judgement or trying to fix it.
Breathing and meditation
Being present and open hearted with it. Giving it space and attention with the curiosity to learn from it.
I work really hard to control the outcome but it has literally made me ill at times. I have started meditating again which is lowering my stress response and allowing me to be mindfully open to realizing a decision making model for deeper self confidence.
I face fear … doing what scares me
Chanting a phrase continuosly helps me sometimes
When I feel fear is coming up in the form of anxiety due to projecting my future and trying to be in control, I can feel
my breathing getting shallower and thoughts of acting out are coming up. When I become aware, I try to come back to my breathing, deep inhale and exhale several times and reassuring myself “it’s all ok, trust and have faith” and holding myself. Being in nature and looking at the nature seeing how everything is alive and moving, always changing, I feel I am part of a bigger picture
It helps me face fear when I connect to my breathing and take a deep breath, put a hand over my chestbone and mindfully and gently give attention to my heart.
Writing out the mind loop I am in, the stories that are arising, and sometimes asking how old is the one who is in the experience of fear and how can I be with her in love and compassion, in this moment.
I find that my clients are overwhelmed by the feeling of fear and therefore don’t look at what they are actually afraid of. When we explore the thoughts and what actually might happen and then ask themselves, could they handle that, they often find they can. I also like to have them breathe in to give more space in their heart and chest for the emotion.
I actually found peace after i could not find any way out from fear. Sort of take fear or die. I my ego/self died and fear was gone. After that experience when when i feel new fear arise it often dissolves or softens when i accept or embrace it. Its not easy but i feel more honest and closer to the truth this way.
Finding gentleness to admit the reality and authenticity of being in fear. Softness allows to own up to it. Further steps follow from there.
I will often think of the worst case scenario and recognize that I can handle that even though it would be hard. When I know I can handle the worst outcome my fear settles down.
What helps is Emboding the emotion ( fear). Find it in this body.
Just looking at it, it starts to soften and dissolve it. ( one of your teachings that resonated when first heard many years ago.
Thank you, Tara!