Thanks Tara!
Currently facing a lot of fear since my husband passed away last month. Acknowledging how scared I am is the first important thing I do. I also try to do this compassionately, using the inner mother to comfort and sooth the scared kid inside. (Some internal family systems) I also use movement, walking, stretching, sometimea a designed temper tantrum on my bed, to move the physical sensations of fear through my body.
I’m pushing myself gently to stay connected, but also have alone time. And I try to engage my mind to see pros and cons, gather facts and information I need to make good choices.
And then I rinse and repeat.
To see and feel the fear, yet then to bring in something – a power greater than oneself to support it – to embrace and soothe the fear. Allowing it to release – trusting in myself, the universe and this very moment.
stumbled across you 15 minutes ago in a work email. It truly was meant to be as I had a bout of anxiety in the early hours of this morning. I usually do deep breathing when this happens but forgot as anxiety took over. Thank you so much for reminding of the steps to take. My few words I usually tell myself are… “Feel the fear and do it anyway”. Thank you for your nuggets of wisdom and reminding me how to tame my tiger!
Literally facing Covid right now. This was so helpful and encouraging. Exposed through daycare and asymptomatic thankfully, been practicing mindful Radical Compassion & Acceptance and have such empathy instead of anger or worry. Thank you for providing these tools to the world. The ripples make all the difference.
Noticing the fear and actively allowing it be there. So recognising how it shows up in the body and giving the sensations attention. Encouraging them to notice how the sensations shift as they continue to give them attention.
There are many different ways of approach to fear; sometimes it is a blank and direct feeling or experience, most of the time it is a process of recognizing what has gathered in the heart Center, in the body System, what teils the brain, where do I fight, where am I in peace. The fears we grew up with and which are quite normal for us are also a broad field of investigation. I am really curious and looking forward to Tara’s Videos and send my best wishes for you all.
For me personally, it is to stop ( in Germany we have a beautiful expression called “Inne halten” , breathing, putting my hand on my heart, connecting with my heartspace and deepening my connection to the heart of the earth and the heart of the sky, being present – and if this doesnt regulate me asking my soul and my guides for help.
Nature is always my best regulation, barefoot on gras, swimming in a lake, lying on earth, being with a tree, or with animals, the warmth of the sun on my body… hugging myself, humming if the childpart in me reacting is very young.., seeing the beauty around me
Facing fear is an act of self-love to me. There is deep knowing that fear is here for me. I slow down, make a walk, invite love and kindness and then I can start to allow the feeling of fear and acceptance.
Tara, I can’t believe that I’ve been in therapy for 26 years and doing meditation for 20, and only NOW (from this vid) learning that underneath anger, shame and judgment is unfaced fear.. and by being Present with it, “letting it be there” it transforms…. Wow.
There is such a huge need for this teaching in our society, especially with pandemic stuff….. I wish you would make it easily shareable for youtube, social media, facebook etc…..
To BE with our Fear is the last thing we’d think to do….! Many thanks
Dear Tara, Thank you for this wonderful & informative video on learning to manage fear . I will try to practice some of these suggestions. They definitely seem to be the solution.
Hello Tara and team!
My clients feel less fear when they feel I have listened and tried to understand, as well as with breathing, relaxing or other simple activities to quiet the mind.
Thanks for your work.
I feel most anxious in the morning. Dread and fear rising in my body has actually become my wakes me up. As soon as I feel the tightness in my breath I do some deep breathing and listen to Gil Fronsdal’s 7am sit (Redwood City Insight Meditation Centre). There has been a profound reduction in my level of anxiety and my ability to cope. My anxiety is still around, some days stronger that others but it doesn’t rule my life and on the worst days I have strategies (mindfulness and meditation in particular) to cope.
Thanks Tara, it is always great to be reminded that we are more than we think we are. We are living at a time when there is so much fear; people are locked in and locked down and the threats seem endless. The thing that works for me (mostly) is love. I practice turning into the fear and reminding myself that love is always stronger than fear. If I get sick or my kids get sick, it will be sad and I hope we will be ok, but I can’t let the fear win so I remind myself that love is stronger stronger than death, illness, poverty. it is not easy, but the alternative is worse. I look forward to the next teaching. Thank you again for your wonderful teachings.
I get a lot of support from friends to move through what I’m afraid of.
I also get on my knees and pray for help.
I cry when I need to – to release pent up anxiety.
I don’t understand how to allow fear when I just want to get rid of it. I want it to stop ruling thoughts, my body, my life.
I have been practicing for several years to overcome fear. It’s still a huge part of everyday, sometimes every hour of my life.
Now I understand it never goes away.
Joining a choir and singing! This helped me step into sharing my voice. Eventually my fear of speaking up in meetings (when there was a lot of conflict) diminished. I re-programmed myself to feel happy and peaceful sharing my voice.
realizing fear and talking about it, acknowledgement shows self respect and respect for others
when we can share our fears, it’s like a great pressure relief
Finding my breath. Staying with the uncomfortable feelings, letting go of wanting to feel something different. I tend towards freezing in terms of fight, flight or freeze, so I’ve found that to keep functioning I have get okay with being afraid.
Acceptance. I read in Songey Mingyur Rinpoche’s book a quote he uses if he cannot change something. The quote has stayed with me. ‘My protection is acceptance.’ If there is something that can be done do it. If not acceptance is the way that keeps me clear headed open and compassionate to myself and others.
Also not holding on tightly. Moving with the wind. So if fear arises face it so it doesn’t grow in its shadows. But joke with it too. Lighten it. Laugh a bit. Ask yourself what is the worst that could happen. Even death. Then let go. In Black Elk speaks he said Hoka Hey before going into battle. It is a good day to die. I use that too.
I am not fearless. But these things helped me.
There is a Pema Chodrin story from when she was 11yrs old I believe. She was having a repeating dream that she was being chased. It was very frightening. She told her friend who asked innocently who is chasing you. Pema said I don’t know. Her friend said why don’t you look next time. Pema did just that and the figure shrunk before her eyes. The shadow had been huge but turning toward it, it shrunk. I use that as well as a meaningful story to turn towards my fear and look at it. Thank you for your help. Some fears btw are useful friends, they are there to protect you. Discernment is important. Befriend and thank those fears that warn you.
It is so healing just to think of fear as not the enemy but a part of us we need to face and that in itself brings relief. In a sense fear can be our teacher and and our friend. I mean connecting to where we feel it in our body and then talk
Lovingly to it. Thank you Tara for reminding me of this. I have felt such anxiety lately that I let some good tools go. Dealing with cancer all during the pandemic has been a challenge. I have retired as a mental health professional
This past year. This is such a gift for you Tara to share your deep wisdom in this time of global suffering and awakening.
I am so grateful for life no matter how it is coming. Thanking everyone who has shared. Margaret from Maine
Faith in God and reminding myself I’m here right now and my feet are on the ground. I think of the quote by Abraham Lincoln “Worry is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but it doesn’t you anywhere.”
Thank u, Tara. UR very calming (esp. via the procity & cadence of ur voice),
informative, & provide useful info all around. UR one of my favs anyway, but always enjoy & benefit from ur teachings & meditations… & u calm my amygdala – that’s in full tilt lately – the minute you begin talking & smiling… genuinely. I have health challenges, & often listen/view ur presentations- 1 after another- until I get so saturated, & filled with peace & relaxation that I conk out. I feel safe, & okay. Equipped with tools. That works for me. ✨ That’s a good thing – for instance, yesterday, I had been up for 36 long, frustrating, sad hours. I rec’d 2 unexpected, perfectly timed loving phone calls, & fell asleep; finally experienced some restoration & got back in the race. I love ur analogy of the 2 arrows: 1st one gets you, 2nd one comes in for the ‘kill’, & u realize u did it to urself. (To Anyone else rdg this: ‘my summary’.) Tara uses better words, sentiments, & physical signals indicating All Is Well, right here, right now. (Point is the same.) Love the re-reminding! I say to self: Chill girl! (BTW: I actually use all kinds & varieties of self-soothing techniques, extreme self care, positivity, resiliency bldg strategies, positive self talk, loving kindness & compassion, affirmations, ad infinitum, …& the beat goes on. Just sometimes I need connection, esp. from a trusted, gifted, loving leader. For now, my cup is full. Thank you, Tara. 🌷
💗 🕊 🤗 Laura
My gratitude 🙏 for your wisdom and teachings goes beyond my vocabulary. I have a deep passion for caring for others and have dedicated the bulk of my almost 77 years to volunteer community care giving. My ongoing training revolves around Palliative / Pastoral Care and Lifeline here in Newcastle, NSW Australia. Your Grace has been nurturing my very soul. I love Jesus. 🥰❤️ and love of all. Thank you Tara you are a special “Love Angel 👼 “ xxx
Thank you so much. It takes willingness to face fear and you showed a simple but loving way to breathe into and love and nurture the place in our body that was feeling the fear and yes it’s ok to feel the awkwardness as you r coming out of the fearful place. Love your self more there and gives lots of encouragement and recognition for your progress. Much appreciated and look forward to your next post Karen Vergis
I pretty much use the method that Tara talks about here. One other thing that I find essential, when the fear is not primarily psychological or has has mixed roots is to focus on what my client can do her him/herself and to consider what behavior, regardless of how small, can help them feel more confident as an active agent in his/her own life. What I find core is to disengage from the “all or nothing belief, which is fairly terrorizing on both needs, and learn to plumb the middle ground. This might include things like choosing just one aspect of the feared person/situation, and making small changes that can be built on later. It might even be working on simply imagining a different response, or consulting with someone in “the know re the situation to get advice or a different perspective on what’s going on. Sometimes using the Buddhist method of pacify-enrich-magnigize-destroy is helpful, but this needs to be applied with discretion relative to the danger of the situation (whether phys of psych). Anyway, just some thoughts from an old Vietnam vet who had been working with trauma resolution for nearly 50 years 9both in the V. A. system and with the general public). But my strongest tool by far is my positive regard for my clients, and dare I say the love and gratitude I feel for them in their courage to face such difficult stuff.
Thank-you, Tara, for your teaching……Bill Larsen
Understanding the nature of fear – it’s purpose/history, biology, and psychology. The brain, mind body unity (polyvagal activity.
Certainly also accepting fear – and taking responsibility for the emotion – to understand it and attend to it. Tasks to employ ventral vagel to calm, and rational thought to problem solve.
I often find physical activity and exercise help manage anxiety and release pent up emotional energy. There is a way in which physical activity brings greater clarity of mind and connects the physical with the emotional. Also, imagining the worst outcome and playing it out in my mind to better assess my instinctive reactions and develop mitigating strategies for dealing with them. In other words, what is the worst that can happen? Often the unnamed problem appears much bigger than it really is. Lastly, gratitude for what we do have also helps.
1. Telling myself that the scenario that I may be worrying about happening in the future, is not happening today.
2. Attending Alanon meetings and going to eat with my Alanon friends.
3. Just doing what I don’t want to do, jumping in, and doing it anyway.
Hi thankyou for sharing this ,,, I have had bouts of severe anxiety ,, I get alot of pins and needles in my body I guess this is cortisol. I get this even when I’m not particularly anxious ! Any tips on how to eliminate this , I meditate, excercise , self hypnosis ,,, I’d like to know more about how to decrease my fear response
I am helped in facing fear by your teachings, like this one, that REMIND me to allow fear in the present moment and stop worrying. I try to stay grounded right here, right now. Sometimes the fear causes tremendous anxiety and my primitive brain seeks relief. I think of taking a drink mainly. But I can’t do that, I know it only masks the fear and it will burble again to the surface worse than ever. So I stay present, I remember to breathe, and try to get myself sitting down with some meditation. Although that seems to be my last resort- not good I know! Thank you so much, Tara, you are a spiritual friend to me even thought you do not know me.
blessings, kristin
To dwell in my body
Allowing fear to exist and hearing what it has to say
Realizing that some of my fears come from vulnerabilities that I would need to embrace
Thanks Tara!
Currently facing a lot of fear since my husband passed away last month. Acknowledging how scared I am is the first important thing I do. I also try to do this compassionately, using the inner mother to comfort and sooth the scared kid inside. (Some internal family systems) I also use movement, walking, stretching, sometimea a designed temper tantrum on my bed, to move the physical sensations of fear through my body.
I’m pushing myself gently to stay connected, but also have alone time. And I try to engage my mind to see pros and cons, gather facts and information I need to make good choices.
And then I rinse and repeat.
To see and feel the fear, yet then to bring in something – a power greater than oneself to support it – to embrace and soothe the fear. Allowing it to release – trusting in myself, the universe and this very moment.
Hello
stumbled across you 15 minutes ago in a work email. It truly was meant to be as I had a bout of anxiety in the early hours of this morning. I usually do deep breathing when this happens but forgot as anxiety took over. Thank you so much for reminding of the steps to take. My few words I usually tell myself are… “Feel the fear and do it anyway”. Thank you for your nuggets of wisdom and reminding me how to tame my tiger!
Literally facing Covid right now. This was so helpful and encouraging. Exposed through daycare and asymptomatic thankfully, been practicing mindful Radical Compassion & Acceptance and have such empathy instead of anger or worry. Thank you for providing these tools to the world. The ripples make all the difference.
Noticing the fear and actively allowing it be there. So recognising how it shows up in the body and giving the sensations attention. Encouraging them to notice how the sensations shift as they continue to give them attention.
There are many different ways of approach to fear; sometimes it is a blank and direct feeling or experience, most of the time it is a process of recognizing what has gathered in the heart Center, in the body System, what teils the brain, where do I fight, where am I in peace. The fears we grew up with and which are quite normal for us are also a broad field of investigation. I am really curious and looking forward to Tara’s Videos and send my best wishes for you all.
To breathe and realize I’m strong enough. I’ll get thru that day
For me personally, it is to stop ( in Germany we have a beautiful expression called “Inne halten” , breathing, putting my hand on my heart, connecting with my heartspace and deepening my connection to the heart of the earth and the heart of the sky, being present – and if this doesnt regulate me asking my soul and my guides for help.
Nature is always my best regulation, barefoot on gras, swimming in a lake, lying on earth, being with a tree, or with animals, the warmth of the sun on my body… hugging myself, humming if the childpart in me reacting is very young.., seeing the beauty around me
To remember that I am loved, to think on the present, and to trust that things will work out.
Facing fear is an act of self-love to me. There is deep knowing that fear is here for me. I slow down, make a walk, invite love and kindness and then I can start to allow the feeling of fear and acceptance.
Willingness to feel it.
Tara, I can’t believe that I’ve been in therapy for 26 years and doing meditation for 20, and only NOW (from this vid) learning that underneath anger, shame and judgment is unfaced fear.. and by being Present with it, “letting it be there” it transforms…. Wow.
There is such a huge need for this teaching in our society, especially with pandemic stuff….. I wish you would make it easily shareable for youtube, social media, facebook etc…..
To BE with our Fear is the last thing we’d think to do….! Many thanks
Dear Tara, Thank you for this wonderful & informative video on learning to manage fear . I will try to practice some of these suggestions. They definitely seem to be the solution.
Hello Tara and team!
My clients feel less fear when they feel I have listened and tried to understand, as well as with breathing, relaxing or other simple activities to quiet the mind.
Thanks for your work.
Grateful for these practical insights dear Tara!
My kind suggestion: to really use a much lower volume for the background music or to just simply, not use it.
Hope this helps!
Thanks again and blessings!
I feel most anxious in the morning. Dread and fear rising in my body has actually become my wakes me up. As soon as I feel the tightness in my breath I do some deep breathing and listen to Gil Fronsdal’s 7am sit (Redwood City Insight Meditation Centre). There has been a profound reduction in my level of anxiety and my ability to cope. My anxiety is still around, some days stronger that others but it doesn’t rule my life and on the worst days I have strategies (mindfulness and meditation in particular) to cope.
Breathing and staying present
Thanks Tara, it is always great to be reminded that we are more than we think we are. We are living at a time when there is so much fear; people are locked in and locked down and the threats seem endless. The thing that works for me (mostly) is love. I practice turning into the fear and reminding myself that love is always stronger than fear. If I get sick or my kids get sick, it will be sad and I hope we will be ok, but I can’t let the fear win so I remind myself that love is stronger stronger than death, illness, poverty. it is not easy, but the alternative is worse. I look forward to the next teaching. Thank you again for your wonderful teachings.
Confront the fear in writing….write a letter to fear.
more acceptance of self – more self esteem leading to confidence.
I get a lot of support from friends to move through what I’m afraid of.
I also get on my knees and pray for help.
I cry when I need to – to release pent up anxiety.
Practicing the what if scenarios
Remembering that it will eventually pass away.
Accepting the presence of it.
I don’t understand how to allow fear when I just want to get rid of it. I want it to stop ruling thoughts, my body, my life.
I have been practicing for several years to overcome fear. It’s still a huge part of everyday, sometimes every hour of my life.
Now I understand it never goes away.
My relationships to others and my care for the world help me face fear.
Joining a choir and singing! This helped me step into sharing my voice. Eventually my fear of speaking up in meetings (when there was a lot of conflict) diminished. I re-programmed myself to feel happy and peaceful sharing my voice.
realizing fear and talking about it, acknowledgement shows self respect and respect for others
when we can share our fears, it’s like a great pressure relief
Finding my breath. Staying with the uncomfortable feelings, letting go of wanting to feel something different. I tend towards freezing in terms of fight, flight or freeze, so I’ve found that to keep functioning I have get okay with being afraid.
Acceptance. I read in Songey Mingyur Rinpoche’s book a quote he uses if he cannot change something. The quote has stayed with me. ‘My protection is acceptance.’ If there is something that can be done do it. If not acceptance is the way that keeps me clear headed open and compassionate to myself and others.
Also not holding on tightly. Moving with the wind. So if fear arises face it so it doesn’t grow in its shadows. But joke with it too. Lighten it. Laugh a bit. Ask yourself what is the worst that could happen. Even death. Then let go. In Black Elk speaks he said Hoka Hey before going into battle. It is a good day to die. I use that too.
I am not fearless. But these things helped me.
There is a Pema Chodrin story from when she was 11yrs old I believe. She was having a repeating dream that she was being chased. It was very frightening. She told her friend who asked innocently who is chasing you. Pema said I don’t know. Her friend said why don’t you look next time. Pema did just that and the figure shrunk before her eyes. The shadow had been huge but turning toward it, it shrunk. I use that as well as a meaningful story to turn towards my fear and look at it. Thank you for your help. Some fears btw are useful friends, they are there to protect you. Discernment is important. Befriend and thank those fears that warn you.
It is so healing just to think of fear as not the enemy but a part of us we need to face and that in itself brings relief. In a sense fear can be our teacher and and our friend. I mean connecting to where we feel it in our body and then talk
Lovingly to it. Thank you Tara for reminding me of this. I have felt such anxiety lately that I let some good tools go. Dealing with cancer all during the pandemic has been a challenge. I have retired as a mental health professional
This past year. This is such a gift for you Tara to share your deep wisdom in this time of global suffering and awakening.
I am so grateful for life no matter how it is coming. Thanking everyone who has shared. Margaret from Maine
Practicing Loving-kindness meditation.
Increased faith.
Meditation and getting in touch with my breath and Journaling
Faith in God and reminding myself I’m here right now and my feet are on the ground. I think of the quote by Abraham Lincoln “Worry is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but it doesn’t you anywhere.”
Pause
Evening Reflection
Self love
Gratitude list.
Thank u, Tara. UR very calming (esp. via the procity & cadence of ur voice),
informative, & provide useful info all around. UR one of my favs anyway, but always enjoy & benefit from ur teachings & meditations… & u calm my amygdala – that’s in full tilt lately – the minute you begin talking & smiling… genuinely. I have health challenges, & often listen/view ur presentations- 1 after another- until I get so saturated, & filled with peace & relaxation that I conk out. I feel safe, & okay. Equipped with tools. That works for me. ✨ That’s a good thing – for instance, yesterday, I had been up for 36 long, frustrating, sad hours. I rec’d 2 unexpected, perfectly timed loving phone calls, & fell asleep; finally experienced some restoration & got back in the race. I love ur analogy of the 2 arrows: 1st one gets you, 2nd one comes in for the ‘kill’, & u realize u did it to urself. (To Anyone else rdg this: ‘my summary’.) Tara uses better words, sentiments, & physical signals indicating All Is Well, right here, right now. (Point is the same.) Love the re-reminding! I say to self: Chill girl! (BTW: I actually use all kinds & varieties of self-soothing techniques, extreme self care, positivity, resiliency bldg strategies, positive self talk, loving kindness & compassion, affirmations, ad infinitum, …& the beat goes on. Just sometimes I need connection, esp. from a trusted, gifted, loving leader. For now, my cup is full. Thank you, Tara. 🌷
💗 🕊 🤗 Laura
My gratitude 🙏 for your wisdom and teachings goes beyond my vocabulary. I have a deep passion for caring for others and have dedicated the bulk of my almost 77 years to volunteer community care giving. My ongoing training revolves around Palliative / Pastoral Care and Lifeline here in Newcastle, NSW Australia. Your Grace has been nurturing my very soul. I love Jesus. 🥰❤️ and love of all. Thank you Tara you are a special “Love Angel 👼 “ xxx
Trusting myself enough to do what even makes me feel anxious.
Faith in my higher power, and this too shall pass. This is a small part of my journey.
Trust that what ever happens I will be ok
Yoga, prayer, chanting and talk therapy
Deep breathing and peaceful mantras help me get past the terror phase of fear.
Thank you so much. It takes willingness to face fear and you showed a simple but loving way to breathe into and love and nurture the place in our body that was feeling the fear and yes it’s ok to feel the awkwardness as you r coming out of the fearful place. Love your self more there and gives lots of encouragement and recognition for your progress. Much appreciated and look forward to your next post Karen Vergis
I pretty much use the method that Tara talks about here. One other thing that I find essential, when the fear is not primarily psychological or has has mixed roots is to focus on what my client can do her him/herself and to consider what behavior, regardless of how small, can help them feel more confident as an active agent in his/her own life. What I find core is to disengage from the “all or nothing belief, which is fairly terrorizing on both needs, and learn to plumb the middle ground. This might include things like choosing just one aspect of the feared person/situation, and making small changes that can be built on later. It might even be working on simply imagining a different response, or consulting with someone in “the know re the situation to get advice or a different perspective on what’s going on. Sometimes using the Buddhist method of pacify-enrich-magnigize-destroy is helpful, but this needs to be applied with discretion relative to the danger of the situation (whether phys of psych). Anyway, just some thoughts from an old Vietnam vet who had been working with trauma resolution for nearly 50 years 9both in the V. A. system and with the general public). But my strongest tool by far is my positive regard for my clients, and dare I say the love and gratitude I feel for them in their courage to face such difficult stuff.
Thank-you, Tara, for your teaching……Bill Larsen
Understanding the nature of fear – it’s purpose/history, biology, and psychology. The brain, mind body unity (polyvagal activity.
Certainly also accepting fear – and taking responsibility for the emotion – to understand it and attend to it. Tasks to employ ventral vagel to calm, and rational thought to problem solve.
I often find physical activity and exercise help manage anxiety and release pent up emotional energy. There is a way in which physical activity brings greater clarity of mind and connects the physical with the emotional. Also, imagining the worst outcome and playing it out in my mind to better assess my instinctive reactions and develop mitigating strategies for dealing with them. In other words, what is the worst that can happen? Often the unnamed problem appears much bigger than it really is. Lastly, gratitude for what we do have also helps.
1. Telling myself that the scenario that I may be worrying about happening in the future, is not happening today.
2. Attending Alanon meetings and going to eat with my Alanon friends.
3. Just doing what I don’t want to do, jumping in, and doing it anyway.
Hi thankyou for sharing this ,,, I have had bouts of severe anxiety ,, I get alot of pins and needles in my body I guess this is cortisol. I get this even when I’m not particularly anxious ! Any tips on how to eliminate this , I meditate, excercise , self hypnosis ,,, I’d like to know more about how to decrease my fear response
I am helped in facing fear by your teachings, like this one, that REMIND me to allow fear in the present moment and stop worrying. I try to stay grounded right here, right now. Sometimes the fear causes tremendous anxiety and my primitive brain seeks relief. I think of taking a drink mainly. But I can’t do that, I know it only masks the fear and it will burble again to the surface worse than ever. So I stay present, I remember to breathe, and try to get myself sitting down with some meditation. Although that seems to be my last resort- not good I know! Thank you so much, Tara, you are a spiritual friend to me even thought you do not know me.
blessings, kristin
To dwell in my body
Allowing fear to exist and hearing what it has to say
Realizing that some of my fears come from vulnerabilities that I would need to embrace