slowing down! slowing everything down, if i’m walking i walk slower. if i’m cleaning or whatever, something with my hands, i slow it way down. even stop. and breath work. yes oh yes. deep inhales, long exhales. but something that i found that really helps slow me down and get me out of my head is metta – loving kindless practice. practing loving kindness helps me stop ruminating, and also helps me rememember that we are all doing this. all living. all struggling. all reacting. and all that together gets me more present and mindful of the moment. and i remember that i’m sort of making up the idea of the future or things i’m afraid of.
Thanks Tara. Just listening to your calm and soothing voice helps me to be more in touch with myself and what is happening within.
I often recognise my fear, and the depths of it, through journaling. Through expressing in words what is going on within helps me to recognise exactly how I’m feeling, and to see the fear for what it is. To recognise it and accept it is always helpful, and removes the heaviness that I may have been feeling. Then I can work with it. I find this is often better for me than talking to another, because if it is not the right person, then the fear can sometimes magnify, and build as the emotion rises. But with the right person, one who can maybe see me more than I can see myself in that moment, then calmness and acceptance can come.
By trying to be honest with people about how I feel. Especially, if I’m unsure of what their reaction might be or I’ll paint the darkest picture as their response.
I talk in front of a mirror and see as well as hear myself face the fears I have. I ask myself questions as well as answer them by looking at myself and be very truthful.
I would love to read any of your books.
I’m just beginning to accept the notion that my fear must be faced. I refer to this as changing my relationship with fear turning it from foe to friend. Just the decision to reshape the relationship has been helpful. It will take some time as I have 70 years of practicing denial. I have found that my meditation practice supports this changing relationship.
I can best face my fear by trying to be present. I worried, for a long time, that if I let go of my fear and anger, I would lose my drive and become apathetic. On the contrary, practicing being centered within myself allows me to be closer to the center of my wants, needs, and desires and to move in the direction I need to go without being paralyzed by fear or being randomized by conflict.
Some helpful things are:
Conversations with trusted friends
Bringing it up at therapy
Webinars like this
Music and art activities
Books, movies and news about others who have faced their fears
I’ve only realised recently that I am almost in a constant state of low-grade fear – waiting for something to happen … usually bad, that I must be prepared for … and then when something minor happens my reaction is very strong … trying to make it right again, and I feel I have to do this urgently. I now try to sense where in my body the reaction is and I say things to myself like, it’s ok, this can be sorted easily, or I can get help solving this problem. I feel like I have to be aware of fear lurking there in the background and try to be kind to it. Thank you for your talks, they are always so calming and full of wisdom and compassion.
There is a fear of feeling in general . Sitting with it takes courage . Just that one sentence “Its ok to be here” resonated with me .
It helps me to recognise and name fear rather internalising and think I am going quite mad ,
Thank you Tara .a powerful reminder of a talk .
Love and thanks
Clare
In the past I have taken anxiety reducing medications such as librium. When I am confronted with a fear producing situation, my hands start to shake and I usually cannot remember things. I am working on using deep breathing to try to get myself through these occurrences without using medications, but sometimes it is slow going. I hold my cat a lot and she seems to have a very special effect on my getting relaxed.
My body is injured from a few strokes and the injuries it incurred as a tiny baby all the way to the strokes…. Now I try hard to heal my body and have gratitude towards it…. I have an incredible doctor who is trying through peptides and nutrition to heal my body and the effects the strokes had on my nervous system. Dr. William Seeds. As he tries to help me heal my body I realize I need my mind and emotions healed too. I am here listening to many of the nicabm classes hoping in time to heal the emotions that live inside my body….and YES The fear of all emotions that I have Within. I fear all my emotions to one extent or another because all my emotions have been disrupted and mangled in so many ways by so many people from the day I was born …. This includes myself…. I’ve sat for hours and hours with these emotions but found myself more scared more hurt however, it seems to be much easier to sit with the emotion of fear and the other six emotions through the education I am receiving from these classes nicabm offer… somehow it feels as though this emotion we call fear doesn’t want just someone sitting with it… Fear seems to want all emotions sitting with it with knowledge…wisdom…grace…peace…compassion, strength and love in harmony with each other and itself. Thank you for a lovely presentation…. Sorry it won’t be here for much longer. Thank you 💜🙏🏽🧘🏽♀️🙏🏽💜
“Shared evolutionary predicament”….”stop running”…”it’s okay to be here”…”chronic anxiety”…key phrases that resonate with me when working with clients; however, while there is a personal response to fear within ourselves, how are you and other therapists responding when the shared evolutionary predicament is industry fed? We are in the Telecommunication Age with the negative health effects of EMFs being considered in real time; EMF exposure is having an effect on health, and specific to your approach, on our nervous system. What if, what ails us, is really outside us and all around us, and affects how our own biological systems can operate? How do you navigate that and empower people who are weakened to the point of inability? When the personal IS political and the personal ability is not there to act?
Acknowledging it and giving to space to be present….in the passenger seat not the drivers seat. Meditation also helps if it’s particularly overwhelming.
Gratitude practice also
I feel my pulse on my wrist. I close my eyes. I breathe a full breath in through my nose, exhaling slowly by mouth, with a quiet whooshing sound. Within 3 breaths, I can feel my pulse slow-down and I feel better.
What helps me face fear is knowing that this is a natural reaction my body and mind are having to something that is either real or imagined, and usually outside of my control. This very speedy reaction is designed to alert me to the potential threat or risk to my wellbeing. The key for me there is the word potential, so I ask myself, “What is actually happening in this very moment?” Usually the answer is something like, “I’m sitting here in my home, reading an email / picturing or thinking about a future worst case scenario, etc.”
So I then focus on my breath and begin to practise vagal breathing. After a little while, as I begin to settle, I scan my body for any signs of where I am holding that fear. I then focus on it and breath through it. This gives me the sense of expanding the space around it and allows ideas to arise in my mind as to how I might understand the particular situation more clearly and from a place of compassion. I may then be able to take helpful action or accept a situation is beyond my control but I can focus loving thoughts on it.
I sometimes invite my clients to imagine a monster and then to offer it a gift, which is no way expected. The monster is then engaged with and not run away from. It becomes more managable by being reduced in size and intensity.
This is really enlightening, facing fear fearlessly is the most productive way to cope and even come out of it eventually. The narration in this podcast is lucid and illuminating. Looking forward for the next episode
Self compassion practice. Breathing exercises. Inquiry into the beliefs underneath the fear. Listening to the wonderful contemporary mystics around these days when they speak about fear. Being in nature. Exercising. Accepting…
Hallo Tara,
When I felt fear the last time I felt like avoiding something I was afraid of but I could not name it. I felt the fear in my throat that got tighter. I first was looking for the object of my fear to work on a cognitive level with it. But then I said to myself that it is ok to have fear and I stopped working against it. Additionally I put my arms around me and hugged myself and the put my warm hand gently on my throat. Tears were running. And I always repeated that everything is ok and I am here for me. And then I felt I can let go and i asked myself what I need. And the answer was I want to allow myself to say that there is too much on my shoulders at the moment, too much I feel responsible for. Tears were running. And during this process my throat relaxed a little and felt more like a little throat ache. I continued breathing the whole time and sometimes used my breath as an anchor. This happened during a kind of sangha with other mbsr-teachers online.
Thank you Tara for offering this workshop, I am really grateful for that.
Thank you Tara for your free workshop. I find that being able to to trust something outside myself helps with fear; a big sister, a loving friend I can talk to, God. Sharing heals and lessons the impact of fear.
Hi, I am the mother of a 32 yr old son, He has been plagued with constant fear that people are coming to kill him. He is bipolar and having psychotic thoughts. He also has TS and is bothered by intrusive thoughts that are upsetting due to their violent and disgusting sexual content. He is concerned that people can read these thoughts and he overhears people talking about coming to kill him. He is on antipsychotics and SSRI as well as other meds. He has been hospitalized multiple times and has received 6 ECT treatments. It has not helped. He has times every day when he is absolutely terrified. He needs help dealing with how to handle his fear.
Thanks. I am experiencing anxiety around some recent health issues ..double vision and maybe a TIA. Not used to being ill and cannot calm my mind from thoughts though I try to. Also the confinement indoors weighs on my mind.
I miss being active so I try to breathe, meditate and use acupressure…
M. Mary D.
Thank you Tara. I’ve been through many life changing major events over the past 4 years. I was introduced to you through insight timer app and very grateful for your knowledge and work.
For me any of the following are really helpful: Deep breathing, qigong practices, meditation, reading about/learning more about fear, exploring my relationship with fear, self-compassionate inner voice, body scans, relaxation practices, music, mantras like “I am safe” or “I can handle this”, and talking to someone who is comforting to me.
It is a very insightful video series. I have listened to Tara’s other talks on fear and I never get tired of it. I love the question, “who would you be without the fear, worry, anxiety?” I had a big resistance to observe my sensations, however I am learning the great healing power through the body. It is head, hand and heart together work to help your transformation! Thank you Tara. I admire you and always inspired by your wisdom!
Cheers,
Ebru
Doing EFT, allow a percentage of the fear to go in increments Also to look at the thoughts behind the fear, thought leads to an emotion/ feeling ,and action is then often chosen according to the feeling unless you chose to rethink what is going on. I also teach mindfulness and use it myself.
Talking about my fears to someone “I CAN TRUST” helps me to know I am not alone in my fears and allows me to identify what it is that creates fear in my life. Since my “Awakening on Oct 28,1984” I was gifted with tools to use to increase awareness of my strengths and powers and taught me to love myself. I realized that what we focus our attention on is what we bring about. I learned how to “Be Still and Know …. that “I AM GOD”. This is not in an ego based thought about who I am, but a very humbling reverent knowing that every man, woman and child is one with the company of heaven and earth and if we are aware of this then we would love one another enough to extinquish the ego based fears. Being aware of my thoughts before the ego tries to instill fear and get power over me has helped to be in control of my thoughts and change them.
M
With others at my place of business (which is a child care business) I try to help my employees, staff, parents, and children face fear by talking about their fears. The most important thing I can tell them is that we can focus our attention on things that make us feel courage and strength and happiness. I help them by creating vision boards physically and/or in the mind, pictures of things in their life experiences that strikes cords in their being of happy, successful, light.
We practice entering into the sensation experience with gratitude toward our brain for saving our lives and then let it know in several different ways that we won’t be needing rescue today.
Taking refuge in The Three Jewels, praying to the Green Tara and chanting her mantra.
Thank you Tara Brach, you are wonderful, so kind and generous, I benefit so very much from your free teachings, workshops, posts and meditations, May you keep sharing your precious wisdom, May your life be long, healthy and happy, May every one who experiences uncontrolled fear find your teachings.
Thank you. I feel that my life is in physical danger along with the dangers of self delusion and self involvement whenever I leave my house. I was raised to be fearful and as a result, I took huge risks with myself and those I loved. My hope, with the guidance of loving teachers and the sanga of IMCW, is that the ancient, culturally reinforced fear I breathed in most of my life will find its small place in my consciousness and behave. Knowing I’m the grown up in the room!
slowing down! slowing everything down, if i’m walking i walk slower. if i’m cleaning or whatever, something with my hands, i slow it way down. even stop. and breath work. yes oh yes. deep inhales, long exhales. but something that i found that really helps slow me down and get me out of my head is metta – loving kindless practice. practing loving kindness helps me stop ruminating, and also helps me rememember that we are all doing this. all living. all struggling. all reacting. and all that together gets me more present and mindful of the moment. and i remember that i’m sort of making up the idea of the future or things i’m afraid of.
Thanks Tara. Just listening to your calm and soothing voice helps me to be more in touch with myself and what is happening within.
I often recognise my fear, and the depths of it, through journaling. Through expressing in words what is going on within helps me to recognise exactly how I’m feeling, and to see the fear for what it is. To recognise it and accept it is always helpful, and removes the heaviness that I may have been feeling. Then I can work with it. I find this is often better for me than talking to another, because if it is not the right person, then the fear can sometimes magnify, and build as the emotion rises. But with the right person, one who can maybe see me more than I can see myself in that moment, then calmness and acceptance can come.
Deep, calming breathing.
Escape into making pottery when the anxiety starts spiraling out of control.
Self compassion meditation.
The inner knowing that fear brings growth.
By trying to be honest with people about how I feel. Especially, if I’m unsure of what their reaction might be or I’ll paint the darkest picture as their response.
I talk in front of a mirror and see as well as hear myself face the fears I have. I ask myself questions as well as answer them by looking at myself and be very truthful.
I would love to read any of your books.
I’m just beginning to accept the notion that my fear must be faced. I refer to this as changing my relationship with fear turning it from foe to friend. Just the decision to reshape the relationship has been helpful. It will take some time as I have 70 years of practicing denial. I have found that my meditation practice supports this changing relationship.
to know that there is steady changement in life and it will disapear again, the hope everything will work out
I can best face my fear by trying to be present. I worried, for a long time, that if I let go of my fear and anger, I would lose my drive and become apathetic. On the contrary, practicing being centered within myself allows me to be closer to the center of my wants, needs, and desires and to move in the direction I need to go without being paralyzed by fear or being randomized by conflict.
Some helpful things are:
Conversations with trusted friends
Bringing it up at therapy
Webinars like this
Music and art activities
Books, movies and news about others who have faced their fears
Locating it in my body.
I’ve only realised recently that I am almost in a constant state of low-grade fear – waiting for something to happen … usually bad, that I must be prepared for … and then when something minor happens my reaction is very strong … trying to make it right again, and I feel I have to do this urgently. I now try to sense where in my body the reaction is and I say things to myself like, it’s ok, this can be sorted easily, or I can get help solving this problem. I feel like I have to be aware of fear lurking there in the background and try to be kind to it. Thank you for your talks, they are always so calming and full of wisdom and compassion.
There is a fear of feeling in general . Sitting with it takes courage . Just that one sentence “Its ok to be here” resonated with me .
It helps me to recognise and name fear rather internalising and think I am going quite mad ,
Thank you Tara .a powerful reminder of a talk .
Love and thanks
Clare
Thank you for sharing this.
In the past I have taken anxiety reducing medications such as librium. When I am confronted with a fear producing situation, my hands start to shake and I usually cannot remember things. I am working on using deep breathing to try to get myself through these occurrences without using medications, but sometimes it is slow going. I hold my cat a lot and she seems to have a very special effect on my getting relaxed.
Anonymous
It helps me to live really
what helped me was that you, Tara brought to my attantion that I have fear. I never realized this before in that way!
My body is injured from a few strokes and the injuries it incurred as a tiny baby all the way to the strokes…. Now I try hard to heal my body and have gratitude towards it…. I have an incredible doctor who is trying through peptides and nutrition to heal my body and the effects the strokes had on my nervous system. Dr. William Seeds. As he tries to help me heal my body I realize I need my mind and emotions healed too. I am here listening to many of the nicabm classes hoping in time to heal the emotions that live inside my body….and YES The fear of all emotions that I have Within. I fear all my emotions to one extent or another because all my emotions have been disrupted and mangled in so many ways by so many people from the day I was born …. This includes myself…. I’ve sat for hours and hours with these emotions but found myself more scared more hurt however, it seems to be much easier to sit with the emotion of fear and the other six emotions through the education I am receiving from these classes nicabm offer… somehow it feels as though this emotion we call fear doesn’t want just someone sitting with it… Fear seems to want all emotions sitting with it with knowledge…wisdom…grace…peace…compassion, strength and love in harmony with each other and itself. Thank you for a lovely presentation…. Sorry it won’t be here for much longer. Thank you 💜🙏🏽🧘🏽♀️🙏🏽💜
Present moment awareness that is remain in the now, consciously bring myself, my thoughts into the present moment.
What helps me face fear is the desire to be free and have acess to resources that are blocked
Counting breaths, a drink of water, and Jin shin help me, personally, when anxiety throws a panic curveball.
“Shared evolutionary predicament”….”stop running”…”it’s okay to be here”…”chronic anxiety”…key phrases that resonate with me when working with clients; however, while there is a personal response to fear within ourselves, how are you and other therapists responding when the shared evolutionary predicament is industry fed? We are in the Telecommunication Age with the negative health effects of EMFs being considered in real time; EMF exposure is having an effect on health, and specific to your approach, on our nervous system. What if, what ails us, is really outside us and all around us, and affects how our own biological systems can operate? How do you navigate that and empower people who are weakened to the point of inability? When the personal IS political and the personal ability is not there to act?
To face the internal conversations about fear it is fot me the most difficult part.
Acknowledging it and giving to space to be present….in the passenger seat not the drivers seat. Meditation also helps if it’s particularly overwhelming.
Gratitude practice also
I feel my pulse on my wrist. I close my eyes. I breathe a full breath in through my nose, exhaling slowly by mouth, with a quiet whooshing sound. Within 3 breaths, I can feel my pulse slow-down and I feel better.
What helps me face fear is knowing that this is a natural reaction my body and mind are having to something that is either real or imagined, and usually outside of my control. This very speedy reaction is designed to alert me to the potential threat or risk to my wellbeing. The key for me there is the word potential, so I ask myself, “What is actually happening in this very moment?” Usually the answer is something like, “I’m sitting here in my home, reading an email / picturing or thinking about a future worst case scenario, etc.”
So I then focus on my breath and begin to practise vagal breathing. After a little while, as I begin to settle, I scan my body for any signs of where I am holding that fear. I then focus on it and breath through it. This gives me the sense of expanding the space around it and allows ideas to arise in my mind as to how I might understand the particular situation more clearly and from a place of compassion. I may then be able to take helpful action or accept a situation is beyond my control but I can focus loving thoughts on it.
I sometimes invite my clients to imagine a monster and then to offer it a gift, which is no way expected. The monster is then engaged with and not run away from. It becomes more managable by being reduced in size and intensity.
This is really enlightening, facing fear fearlessly is the most productive way to cope and even come out of it eventually. The narration in this podcast is lucid and illuminating. Looking forward for the next episode
Meditations, breathing, being in nature, being with my kids and husband, laughing, humour, enjoying life
Self compassion practice. Breathing exercises. Inquiry into the beliefs underneath the fear. Listening to the wonderful contemporary mystics around these days when they speak about fear. Being in nature. Exercising. Accepting…
Hallo Tara,
When I felt fear the last time I felt like avoiding something I was afraid of but I could not name it. I felt the fear in my throat that got tighter. I first was looking for the object of my fear to work on a cognitive level with it. But then I said to myself that it is ok to have fear and I stopped working against it. Additionally I put my arms around me and hugged myself and the put my warm hand gently on my throat. Tears were running. And I always repeated that everything is ok and I am here for me. And then I felt I can let go and i asked myself what I need. And the answer was I want to allow myself to say that there is too much on my shoulders at the moment, too much I feel responsible for. Tears were running. And during this process my throat relaxed a little and felt more like a little throat ache. I continued breathing the whole time and sometimes used my breath as an anchor. This happened during a kind of sangha with other mbsr-teachers online.
Thank you Tara for offering this workshop, I am really grateful for that.
Exposure. I have misophonia that is very scary at times. I have to ‘hide’ from the fight\flight I get by wearing headphones
Thank you Tara for your free workshop. I find that being able to to trust something outside myself helps with fear; a big sister, a loving friend I can talk to, God. Sharing heals and lessons the impact of fear.
RAIN Practices and to say hello to fear and treat fear as thoughts and not get entangled with it.
I know I have embodied fear….but it’s hard to STOP and be aware of it…and then see where it is and how it’s affecting me. Like how to recognize fear.
Hi, I am the mother of a 32 yr old son, He has been plagued with constant fear that people are coming to kill him. He is bipolar and having psychotic thoughts. He also has TS and is bothered by intrusive thoughts that are upsetting due to their violent and disgusting sexual content. He is concerned that people can read these thoughts and he overhears people talking about coming to kill him. He is on antipsychotics and SSRI as well as other meds. He has been hospitalized multiple times and has received 6 ECT treatments. It has not helped. He has times every day when he is absolutely terrified. He needs help dealing with how to handle his fear.
Thanks. I am experiencing anxiety around some recent health issues ..double vision and maybe a TIA. Not used to being ill and cannot calm my mind from thoughts though I try to. Also the confinement indoors weighs on my mind.
I miss being active so I try to breathe, meditate and use acupressure…
M. Mary D.
I don’t use Facebook.
Being gentle with myself. Deep breathing. Meditation.
I remind myself that it’s temporary; that things change.
Thank you Tara. I’ve been through many life changing major events over the past 4 years. I was introduced to you through insight timer app and very grateful for your knowledge and work.
For me any of the following are really helpful: Deep breathing, qigong practices, meditation, reading about/learning more about fear, exploring my relationship with fear, self-compassionate inner voice, body scans, relaxation practices, music, mantras like “I am safe” or “I can handle this”, and talking to someone who is comforting to me.
Would it please be possible to include closed captions?
Your insight has helped me to face fear. I now know the expansiveness that comes with breathing into it and listening to what it needs.
It is a very insightful video series. I have listened to Tara’s other talks on fear and I never get tired of it. I love the question, “who would you be without the fear, worry, anxiety?” I had a big resistance to observe my sensations, however I am learning the great healing power through the body. It is head, hand and heart together work to help your transformation! Thank you Tara. I admire you and always inspired by your wisdom!
Cheers,
Ebru
Reality check: Is it true? Is ıt really true?
Doing EFT, allow a percentage of the fear to go in increments Also to look at the thoughts behind the fear, thought leads to an emotion/ feeling ,and action is then often chosen according to the feeling unless you chose to rethink what is going on. I also teach mindfulness and use it myself.
Talking about my fears to someone “I CAN TRUST” helps me to know I am not alone in my fears and allows me to identify what it is that creates fear in my life. Since my “Awakening on Oct 28,1984” I was gifted with tools to use to increase awareness of my strengths and powers and taught me to love myself. I realized that what we focus our attention on is what we bring about. I learned how to “Be Still and Know …. that “I AM GOD”. This is not in an ego based thought about who I am, but a very humbling reverent knowing that every man, woman and child is one with the company of heaven and earth and if we are aware of this then we would love one another enough to extinquish the ego based fears. Being aware of my thoughts before the ego tries to instill fear and get power over me has helped to be in control of my thoughts and change them.
M
With others at my place of business (which is a child care business) I try to help my employees, staff, parents, and children face fear by talking about their fears. The most important thing I can tell them is that we can focus our attention on things that make us feel courage and strength and happiness. I help them by creating vision boards physically and/or in the mind, pictures of things in their life experiences that strikes cords in their being of happy, successful, light.
We practice entering into the sensation experience with gratitude toward our brain for saving our lives and then let it know in several different ways that we won’t be needing rescue today.
Taking refuge in The Three Jewels, praying to the Green Tara and chanting her mantra.
Thank you Tara Brach, you are wonderful, so kind and generous, I benefit so very much from your free teachings, workshops, posts and meditations, May you keep sharing your precious wisdom, May your life be long, healthy and happy, May every one who experiences uncontrolled fear find your teachings.
Thank you. I feel that my life is in physical danger along with the dangers of self delusion and self involvement whenever I leave my house. I was raised to be fearful and as a result, I took huge risks with myself and those I loved. My hope, with the guidance of loving teachers and the sanga of IMCW, is that the ancient, culturally reinforced fear I breathed in most of my life will find its small place in my consciousness and behave. Knowing I’m the grown up in the room!