I create a space where I feel safe and stay there until fear passes. Usually thats my home. Sometimes I play through worst case scenarios and befriend it, then I remind myself that it is very unlikely and that right this moment I am safe and I take it from there. If Im out and I feel anxious, I try and stand still and breathe into it. or I call my mum:)
It has been many years since I referred to this prayer but over the past few days it came to mind. “The Prayer of St. Francis” (“The Peace Prayer of St. Francis”) is a proactive prayer invoking God’s transference of peace through intercession, and the actions of the supplicant. In the prayer there is the call to dispel the world of darkness, hatred and despair and to plant the seeds of hope, faith and love; to actively, not passively, share compassion for all.
It is said that perfect love (truth and grace?) casts out fear. Love does not does not extend the paycheck; I learn to make due with what I have. Is there a faith that all will work out? Is something else found?
Compassion does not erase a violent act and the subsequent fear and intimidation. The circumstances will never change. Compassion can promote the healing of injury and renewal of trust.
Laughter dispels fear even if it is a bit nervous at the start. (“A smile is something everybody, everywhere does in the same language…”)
My troubles and cares: the doubt, despair, darkness, sadness; need diversion whether it is “the still small voice,” Lizzie’s cold nudging nose, the comfort and companionship of a friend. These are reminders that whatever it is, I need to get off my mental merry-go-round and move on. Easier said than done. Yes, but take the first step.
On the other side of fear is courage. I have heard it said that fear is universal; fear becomes attached; there is a way out of our fears… Those who are courageous move ahead, step by step, in spite of the fear. I am trying to find my mantra, my medal, something to believe in. Take up courage!
Well I think having a regular spiritual practice helps me to cope when fear arises. Rather than deny it I turn towards it as Thay recommends, ‘hello little fear, how can I hold you?’ When I’m faithful to my practice, remembering there is Only Love then I am better able to cope when fear knocks. When I’m off track and haven’t been centering then it will catch me unawares and it is often too late to remember to respond with love. This is me and this is what I share with my clients, young and old. Feel the Fear and keep moving.
Being a sober woman in AA, what helps me face fear is the continuous input of light that helps shift the neural pathways. My old way of thinking is caused by the loop, the loop of old events or even events that never happened. AA meetings, step work, working with my sponsor, sponsoring other women, mindful meditation as well as the Tara talks all help the shift. I have gone through an extreme amount of shift in the last two years. The meditation and Tara talks are all an expansion of Step 11 in AA. They have been vital in bringing me closer towards God. To get closer I had to put my head in the mouth of fear, sometimes daily. Thanks
Thank you, Tara, all the way from Australia. Deep breathing helps to calm my fear. My husband’s questions help – “What exactly are you worried about? Is it certain, probable or only possible?” (12th Step)
In my experience, my clients are helped by connecting with their fear(s) through creative ways like naming their fear, giving them a color, describing it into something visual.
To give fear a gestalt and gradually invite the gestalt into existence.
When I am fearful, I re-establish my connection to my Higher Power and remind myself I am beloved. Through humbly restoring my self esteem in context, through realizing I am not the center of the universe, I become confident to face and work through my fear.
Characterising different parts or feelings – getting to know them through ‘discussions’ with individual parts can be very helpful and dispel trapped energy. Inviting conversation with these parts seems to clarify a sense of self, separate to the part simply as a protective behaviour or showing up as an uncomfortable feeling.
First of all, accepting I have fear, seeing and felling my fear. Then, accept that fear is an emotion, a negative one, but an emotion, so seeing it like another emotion, allowing it to be there, and knowing that as it comes, with acceptance and love, it can vanish. Is like “loving my fear”, because it is there for some reason. And seeing the wound can heal that fear space.
My partner struggles with reacting to fear. I recognize many of the behavioral characteristics you mentioned. I’d love to learn more about how I can better help them in these reactive situations.
Accepting that fear like all of our emotions provides us with good information about ourselves. Understanding Fear protects us in many ways, so our fears are worthy of our attention. Mindfully getting in touch with one’s 5 senses to work through the discomfort of fear and identifying triggers to Fear. Practicing radical acceptance while challenging oneself to develop a plan to face fears in safe, mindful, and meaningful ways that motivate one to overcome fears through self acceptance, gradual exposure, mindful relaxation, and restoring inner peace and balance to promote overall well being and healing.
It is reassuring that this is a shared experience. I found it interesting that the behaviour associated with the reaction becomes part of ones physiology and character. I hope this gives individuals an opportunity to recognize this practise mindfulness and obtain a fearless heart (freedom to live to live to their potential) for me helping others to empower them selves, helps me be grounded.
Even though I have a long ways to go in this journey called life.
What helped me the most is truly being honest with myself.
I’ve always been honest with everyone else, putting them above myself. Now that I’m facing reality within myself it is allowing more growth within me.
Still have my biggest fear to face yet, its my next project on me.
When facing fear I tend to quickly start to judge myself for it, so I find it helpful to think how I would react to someone else who was experiencing my fear and try to show myself the same understanding and kindness as I would be inclined to show them.
Taking deep breaths. Being mindful of what they are reacting to and what they are thinking and feeling. stepping back from the situation and seeing the bigger picture. What advice would they give someone else. Coming up with a plan of action that is in keeping with their principles to face the fear. Implementing the plan and evaluating how it went.
I use so many tools, EFT, MINDFULNESS, Mindfulness walking, positivity, music, reading and lots of Faith, Love and Gratitude.
Something though is not easy!
For me it is first recognizing I have a fear. Second it is sitting with that fear to sort through and find wisdom to guide me through that fear wisely, and when I get stuck I just go say or try something (eventually), finally I usually see or feel it in totality. Then the letting go process to face it in a wise and practical manner. The hardest part for me is seeing what it is and then finally doing something about it, the skillful patience of waiting to figure out how to face it!!
Usually talking about it with a trusted friend who has a depth of wisdom. This allows for their perspective to crowd out the emotional activity that is pulsating at an increasingly threatening rate in my head and stomach . I can become regulated in the knowing that no threat can enter our space of dialogue. I can relax and allow for the give and take to find a comfortable solution; either a plan of action or letting it go. The best, is it cuts off the effects of rumination which often lead to gossip in the service of justifying my reason for upset.
Sharing and knowing we are not always alone. I am mindful that perhaps there are Too many strategies being offered … Can we always listen when we are fearful? Sometimes we may lose sight of the value of silence… the silence we need to repair.
Stepping of from running and “mindful” Waiting out fear is often triggering traumatic experiences, patients need to learn the grammar of that- otherwise it remains disturbing on the unconscious level.
Mindfulness is just a gate to that not the solving part
What helps my clients face fear is appreciating that their fear had or has a very good reason to exist. I use my research entitled: “”Lives unseen: unacknowledged trauma of non-disordered, competent Adult Children Of Parents with a Severe Mental Illness” at The University of Melbourne. People can Google my name: Suzette Misrachi and this research will come up along with short articles on medium.com relating to trauma and grief. I think this presentation by Tara Brach is very well delivered. It puts into context something so complex and difficult into straightforward and simple terms. Thank you so much! Suzette
Talking through the situation and how we only learn anything by making mistakes and if we’re not making mistakes we are not learning in our lives.
Talking about how to approach just doing the scary things and expecting fear to be there as part of our human survival and protection but realising fear is not all of who we are ie I am bigger than my fear but it’s ok for fear to be there.
Further from this, when I do this next time it will be more familiar and over time become less scary. Practice makes perfect.
Learning to see approaching fearful situations as a challenge therefore a courageous act. If I see myself as brave as a hero that changes my perspective. Also being a curious detective with regard to myself therefore less attached and judgemental about my reactions.
Techniques to use in the moment eg breathing, quick body scan self reassurance including subtle self soothing touch (a quick placing of hand on the heart or one hand on the other ) and self talk ( you’ve got this, this too will pass etc)
Tapping or Havening work really well to ground the body in the present while they resolve the imprints of the past. They’ve do e avoidance or distraction their whole lives. We tap ‘it’s time to update the program!’
Calming body “actions,” including warm rest, old practice of spooning with one or two others in therapy room…
I create a space where I feel safe and stay there until fear passes. Usually thats my home. Sometimes I play through worst case scenarios and befriend it, then I remind myself that it is very unlikely and that right this moment I am safe and I take it from there. If Im out and I feel anxious, I try and stand still and breathe into it. or I call my mum:)
It has been many years since I referred to this prayer but over the past few days it came to mind. “The Prayer of St. Francis” (“The Peace Prayer of St. Francis”) is a proactive prayer invoking God’s transference of peace through intercession, and the actions of the supplicant. In the prayer there is the call to dispel the world of darkness, hatred and despair and to plant the seeds of hope, faith and love; to actively, not passively, share compassion for all.
It is said that perfect love (truth and grace?) casts out fear. Love does not does not extend the paycheck; I learn to make due with what I have. Is there a faith that all will work out? Is something else found?
Compassion does not erase a violent act and the subsequent fear and intimidation. The circumstances will never change. Compassion can promote the healing of injury and renewal of trust.
Laughter dispels fear even if it is a bit nervous at the start. (“A smile is something everybody, everywhere does in the same language…”)
My troubles and cares: the doubt, despair, darkness, sadness; need diversion whether it is “the still small voice,” Lizzie’s cold nudging nose, the comfort and companionship of a friend. These are reminders that whatever it is, I need to get off my mental merry-go-round and move on. Easier said than done. Yes, but take the first step.
On the other side of fear is courage. I have heard it said that fear is universal; fear becomes attached; there is a way out of our fears… Those who are courageous move ahead, step by step, in spite of the fear. I am trying to find my mantra, my medal, something to believe in. Take up courage!
Going for a walk and breathing in the fresh air
Well I think having a regular spiritual practice helps me to cope when fear arises. Rather than deny it I turn towards it as Thay recommends, ‘hello little fear, how can I hold you?’ When I’m faithful to my practice, remembering there is Only Love then I am better able to cope when fear knocks. When I’m off track and haven’t been centering then it will catch me unawares and it is often too late to remember to respond with love. This is me and this is what I share with my clients, young and old. Feel the Fear and keep moving.
Deep breathing and having a support person
Future, possibility that we’ll doom our existence.
Deep breathing. Accepting vulnerability and staying with the feeling as a loving friend.
Being a sober woman in AA, what helps me face fear is the continuous input of light that helps shift the neural pathways. My old way of thinking is caused by the loop, the loop of old events or even events that never happened. AA meetings, step work, working with my sponsor, sponsoring other women, mindful meditation as well as the Tara talks all help the shift. I have gone through an extreme amount of shift in the last two years. The meditation and Tara talks are all an expansion of Step 11 in AA. They have been vital in bringing me closer towards God. To get closer I had to put my head in the mouth of fear, sometimes daily. Thanks
Developing the ability to identify it. If you aren’t aware of it, you cannot discern why you do what you do.
Breathing and making negative thoughts go away.
Thank you, Tara, all the way from Australia. Deep breathing helps to calm my fear. My husband’s questions help – “What exactly are you worried about? Is it certain, probable or only possible?” (12th Step)
Breathing. When I can remember to do so!
What helps me face fear is listening to Tara Brach and do relaxation exercises. Thank you Tara!
Personal,
Cut the fear in to small pices, and take a tiny steps trough the fear, undtil I am calm again.
In my experience, my clients are helped by connecting with their fear(s) through creative ways like naming their fear, giving them a color, describing it into something visual.
To give fear a gestalt and gradually invite the gestalt into existence.
1) breathe
2) identify what is at the root of the fear
3) comfort the part of oneself that is afraid
Intuitive Survival Techniques
eft method
A trusted companion, wisdom, acceptance, breathing, naming the fear, mindfulness of the fear in the body, soothing touch, reconnecting to values
When I am fearful, I re-establish my connection to my Higher Power and remind myself I am beloved. Through humbly restoring my self esteem in context, through realizing I am not the center of the universe, I become confident to face and work through my fear.
Characterising different parts or feelings – getting to know them through ‘discussions’ with individual parts can be very helpful and dispel trapped energy. Inviting conversation with these parts seems to clarify a sense of self, separate to the part simply as a protective behaviour or showing up as an uncomfortable feeling.
First of all, accepting I have fear, seeing and felling my fear. Then, accept that fear is an emotion, a negative one, but an emotion, so seeing it like another emotion, allowing it to be there, and knowing that as it comes, with acceptance and love, it can vanish. Is like “loving my fear”, because it is there for some reason. And seeing the wound can heal that fear space.
To draw on a paper and take a distant
to reconnect with oneself as a child inside with love and compassion (a little oneself)
Feeling safe and loved.
Breathe deep and move through
My partner struggles with reacting to fear. I recognize many of the behavioral characteristics you mentioned. I’d love to learn more about how I can better help them in these reactive situations.
Accepting that fear like all of our emotions provides us with good information about ourselves. Understanding Fear protects us in many ways, so our fears are worthy of our attention. Mindfully getting in touch with one’s 5 senses to work through the discomfort of fear and identifying triggers to Fear. Practicing radical acceptance while challenging oneself to develop a plan to face fears in safe, mindful, and meaningful ways that motivate one to overcome fears through self acceptance, gradual exposure, mindful relaxation, and restoring inner peace and balance to promote overall well being and healing.
safe space – including being witnessed experiencing the fear and still accepted for who they/we are, breathing through
Self-talking with crossing my arms and giving myself butterfly hugs help me face fear.
It is reassuring that this is a shared experience. I found it interesting that the behaviour associated with the reaction becomes part of ones physiology and character. I hope this gives individuals an opportunity to recognize this practise mindfulness and obtain a fearless heart (freedom to live to live to their potential) for me helping others to empower them selves, helps me be grounded.
Allowing it to be there. Feeling it in my body and kindly holding it. Sharing it with someone.
Even though I have a long ways to go in this journey called life.
What helped me the most is truly being honest with myself.
I’ve always been honest with everyone else, putting them above myself. Now that I’m facing reality within myself it is allowing more growth within me.
Still have my biggest fear to face yet, its my next project on me.
When facing fear I tend to quickly start to judge myself for it, so I find it helpful to think how I would react to someone else who was experiencing my fear and try to show myself the same understanding and kindness as I would be inclined to show them.
Breathing.
Holding my pet rabbit. Crying into her fur.
Feeling safe enough within a slowly and collaboratively built facilitating and strongly relational environment, where trust becomes possible.
Taking deep breaths. Being mindful of what they are reacting to and what they are thinking and feeling. stepping back from the situation and seeing the bigger picture. What advice would they give someone else. Coming up with a plan of action that is in keeping with their principles to face the fear. Implementing the plan and evaluating how it went.
Pranayama. Quieten down many running thoughts
I use so many tools, EFT, MINDFULNESS, Mindfulness walking, positivity, music, reading and lots of Faith, Love and Gratitude.
Something though is not easy!
For me it is first recognizing I have a fear. Second it is sitting with that fear to sort through and find wisdom to guide me through that fear wisely, and when I get stuck I just go say or try something (eventually), finally I usually see or feel it in totality. Then the letting go process to face it in a wise and practical manner. The hardest part for me is seeing what it is and then finally doing something about it, the skillful patience of waiting to figure out how to face it!!
Usually talking about it with a trusted friend who has a depth of wisdom. This allows for their perspective to crowd out the emotional activity that is pulsating at an increasingly threatening rate in my head and stomach . I can become regulated in the knowing that no threat can enter our space of dialogue. I can relax and allow for the give and take to find a comfortable solution; either a plan of action or letting it go. The best, is it cuts off the effects of rumination which often lead to gossip in the service of justifying my reason for upset.
Keep asking why
I find mindfulness meditation is key to my sanity. Have just read the Chimp Paradox and found i could relate well to the chimp mind. Thank you
Practicing the Mindfulness R.A.I.N. Technique or EFT
Sharing and knowing we are not always alone. I am mindful that perhaps there are Too many strategies being offered … Can we always listen when we are fearful? Sometimes we may lose sight of the value of silence… the silence we need to repair.
Stepping of from running and “mindful” Waiting out fear is often triggering traumatic experiences, patients need to learn the grammar of that- otherwise it remains disturbing on the unconscious level.
Mindfulness is just a gate to that not the solving part
What helps my clients face fear is appreciating that their fear had or has a very good reason to exist. I use my research entitled: “”Lives unseen: unacknowledged trauma of non-disordered, competent Adult Children Of Parents with a Severe Mental Illness” at The University of Melbourne. People can Google my name: Suzette Misrachi and this research will come up along with short articles on medium.com relating to trauma and grief. I think this presentation by Tara Brach is very well delivered. It puts into context something so complex and difficult into straightforward and simple terms. Thank you so much! Suzette
Talking through the situation and how we only learn anything by making mistakes and if we’re not making mistakes we are not learning in our lives.
Talking about how to approach just doing the scary things and expecting fear to be there as part of our human survival and protection but realising fear is not all of who we are ie I am bigger than my fear but it’s ok for fear to be there.
Further from this, when I do this next time it will be more familiar and over time become less scary. Practice makes perfect.
Learning to see approaching fearful situations as a challenge therefore a courageous act. If I see myself as brave as a hero that changes my perspective. Also being a curious detective with regard to myself therefore less attached and judgemental about my reactions.
Techniques to use in the moment eg breathing, quick body scan self reassurance including subtle self soothing touch (a quick placing of hand on the heart or one hand on the other ) and self talk ( you’ve got this, this too will pass etc)
Tapping or Havening work really well to ground the body in the present while they resolve the imprints of the past. They’ve do e avoidance or distraction their whole lives. We tap ‘it’s time to update the program!’