I have lived with fear since I was small. Exactly as Tara Brach said, it was a relief to acknowledge the fear and give it space to be with the rest of me.
Kit McKendall-Bennett, Coach, New paltz , NY, USAsays
This is wonderful, thank you 🙏
I find it helpful for me (and those I work with) to Name the fear; quite literally
Then have a conversation with it because often it has something to say or is there because it feels it’s their to do a job such as protection or self preservation.
After working with the fear through mindfulness exercises and other tools in the wellness tool belt, including sometimes a playful awareness almost humor about it.
I can say thank you and ask it to step aside.
I try to remember that fear doesn’t come from a vacuum. I investigate the pain or past experience that is driving the fear, remind myself that I have handled it in the past, and trust myself to handle whatever arises in the future. I thank the part of myself that is sending the fear signal, but I don’t let that part override the rest of me and “drive the bus.” Instead I try to give that voice gratitude and acknowledgement, let it know that I have heard it and will take care moving forward to avoid pitfalls and past mistakes. My mantra these days is “It will all be okay in the end; if it’s not okay, then it’s not the end.” Fear can steal the sweetness from your life, and you can choose to savor that sweetness instead.
After a pregnancy loss, I was paralyzed with fear when I decided to try again. I finally had to come to peace with the fact that losing another baby was indeed a possibility, that there’s nothing anyone can do to prevent it. If it did happen again, I wanted the limited time I had with that baby to be filled with warmth and love, not anxiety and tension. So I loved her, and I loved being pregnant, and when I did lose her, I knew it would be painful and hard, but also that I would be okay again in time. I was right, it was awful, but with the help of my midwives, family, and friends, I got through it (and two years later, welcomed a new child into our family).
it’s a lesson I find myself revisiting often in the last few years. The pandemic, climate change, the rise of authoritarianism, suicides of lovely young people in our community, chronic pain and illness, disability and unemployment, marriage trouble and uncertain housing are all things weighing heavily upon my heart today. The fear is rising again, and I need to spend more time with it, make friends with it, learn from it, and let it inform but not drive my choices and decisions.
Fear usually comes up when I feel unconnected. When I feel that I have to face whatever it is that I perceive as challenging alone. When fear arises I try to be mindful and present so I can bring myself back to that feeling of connectedness to any person or higher being or even myself. The reassurance that I too am enough to be here that I am also here to show up for myself. That’s what gives me the courage to face my fears.
What a timely and well crafted video.
Thank you for making it available.
I often tell myself in an uncertain situation that I will only believe in the best possible outcome and that until something is it isn’t. This seems to steer me towards more positive hopeful thoughts but still recognizes that what I fear may still transpire but has me think more positively.
Hello dear Tara and all,
Thank you for offering this video and so much more for free!
When working with the difficult emotions or states of my clients I guide them and support them to go to the roots of the emotions and states, where usually is pain, so I help them feel and work with the pain in a more deep analyic level but also in relation to their past and present environment (a systemic level). And from a process orientated view I facilitate them to work around their edge and support them to go over it, first on a dreaming level and then to real life.
In this dreaming level, in process work we also work with a figure that is over the edge (so could be fearless), helping the person experience in here and now the secondary energy (eg fearlessness) as well as in a more detached essence level where there’s no polarization but a unified/wholeness and profoundly wise sense of being.
But I find so interesting and helpful what you’re saying Tara about helping clients to make clear when and where in the body there’s fear (which I guess goes hand by hand with trauma and pain) and to stay with it.
What I am learning in my small encounter with mindfulness and meditation is this “staying with and breathing” , anchoring everything to the body sensations or breath in order to let go of control and the vicious cycle of thinking.
I have created a room in my heart where I can sit with my fear, side by side. the room has lots of light and a soft sofa where we sit, side by side. I don’t shame it or suppress it. I hold it’s hand. We will take all the time we need just be there in the space, to breath, to look around, to wait for the right moment.
Thank you Tara! This reminder to acknowledge and allow was very helpful. In my practice with clients I find that EFT tapping is also very useful. In a similar way it is acknowledging the issue and related emotions being experienced, and via tapping, communicating this acknowledgment to the body. It the final tapping rounds the client may acknowledge supportive presences and prospects for healing.
Thank you again for being a Presence of healing in our world.
1.) The ability to identify it in the first place.
The ‘name it to claim it’ idea. This can be tricky because it comes in a dozen or more packages…neatly wrapped and disguised, and if you’ve been conditioned to be polite, not make a fuss, say please and thank you, it’s even harder to unwrap these packages.
2.) once you know the fear is there and notice whether or not it’s a useful signal in your body/brain, a reaction necessary to keep you physically safe or if it’s a reaction to a perceived threat, a remembered past experience that has nothing to do with the present situation or not.
3.) when you identify this reaction as a fear mode that keeps you from living fully, you can then talk to it, guide it, this fear, have yourself a little relationship with it. You can say, “oh, hello, there you are” “sit down, relax, take a load off”
“OK, now, what seems to be the matter?”
4.) Now you have something to work with and you can apply some of the tools in your tool box, like.. say to yourself, ‘it’s ok, take a deep breath’ you can also give your brain a more useful emotion to replace the fear…like calm; a calming thought or memory like,”…think of a time when you felt safe and loved “ and then a bit of encouragement, the kind a good friend might give you, “Ok, you can do this, one step at a time…”.
I have found this takes a lot of practice in order to be aware that I am even having a fearful reaction to a situation. I find that when I can be aware, it makes a big difference, and I can build more confidence in myself, a little at a time.
When I feel fear I immediately focus on my breath and slow my breathing – that pause helps me create a space to deal with the fear – to be aware of its presence and to look at it as a thing but not be overwhelmed by it. This has been a long time in coming – I used to be controlled by fear and the uncertainty of life.
Absolutely wonderful. When I feel and sense fear in my body I check where in my body it is located; I say hello to it, welcome it and be with it, giving it space, allowing it to be the way it is how intense it is. Presence allows it to calm down.
Dear Tara,
Thank you so much for opening that space to look at our fears and what we can do with it!
For me the big epiphany was, that fear, as well as other emotions, are energy that wants to flow.
Whenever I feel that I am being shaken or stifled by fear I try to let it move. For example by tuning in with my body and allowing it to move wherever it wants to. And by breathing into the part of my body that is being affected by it.
When my body starts moving the emotion can move as well. So I don’t get stuck with it. And sometimes it even turns into something else, like dancing, walking, cycling… it gets me out of freeze.
Yet my question remains – why I keep being „visited“ by this fear almost out of the blue?
I have a very close Connection with my friend. And I feel like even when we are physically apart, sometimes I get caught in anxiety, when she is focusing on another person. As if it triggers my bonding-trauma energetically.
Do you have any experiences with that kind of perception?
When I am facing fear, I find the most helpful tool is to be in the present. My instinct is to act out different scenarios in my head, so that I am prepared for whatever outcome that presents itself. However, this is never productive or helpful. The best way to face fear for me is to be present, and tell myself, you’ll get through this because everything passes. Just get through the next five minutes. Then, after five minutes has passed, just get through the next five minutes. I cannot control the future, I can ONLY be in control of what is happening right now. That helps remove the terror of the unknown.
I’ve been engaged in a process of increasing self-awareness and inviting a sense of presence into my experience. I was motivated to do this by chronic pain that turned out to be a hybrid of an actual physical issue and an hypersensitive fear response. I have always been a highly sensitive person with a strong desire to understand myself in deep ways. my practice has revealed much to me. I meditate, do yoga, and exercise daily which helps me connect to my body. I learned that I was so disembodied that I had been ignoring signals and harboring fear and anger at what felt like betrayals by my body. Your talk was an always welcome reminder that self- compassion and deep listening and presence helps me be in harmony with myself and embrace embodied emotions. I spent so much of my 66 years, contrained by fear and fighting the loving messages from my body. My default can easily revert to this but I have learned to resource myself with the suppoets I need like your wise words. Thank you!💖
Therese Miller, Teacher, Fredericksburg, VA, USAsays
I get fearful at night when the world around me is quiet and my mind is free to wander. I pray to the spirits, on the other side, to help me ease my mind. If that doesn’t work, I turn on the TV and hug my dog. Thank you for being courageous. I sense you struggle, like us all, but continue to help us make peace with our world. Thank you for being a beacon in this stormy world. Tess
Breath practices, prayer and meditation have helped me acknowledge, accept and be with feelings of anxiety. I seek the presence, love and guidance of my Higher Power to meet the wonder and the triggers of daily challenges. I look forward to learning about all of the techniques that you are offering in this series to deal with these existing chronic issues.
Joan Gynther, Physical Therapy, East Amherst, NY, USAsays
I have been using guided mindfulness meditations for a few years now and find them really helpful. Your RAIN meditation, Tara, has been amazing. I believe that when I feel my fear in my body, and allow it, and then investigate it, it is not so powerful. I love the idea that I want to hear “It’s OK for me to be here” because I have always felt like an outsider.
Helen Droitsch, Other, Salt LAKE CITY, UT, USAsays
I am not a practitioner just an individual who meditates daily but is facing some difficult times ahead of a medical nature. As I use Tara Brach’s many video conferences on Insight Timer, I look forward to hearing what she and others wish to say about fear.
This series on fear has come into my life at exactly the right time. I am suddenly fearful, living with anxiety for most of my life.
Recently it has hit me hard, worrying about health issues and how to handle the fear that takes over my day.
Thank you Tara and to NICABM for this series. it gives me hope for my future and tools to work with.
Jen
Slowing helps me face fear, sharing with trusted confidants also helps me, a regular meditation practice helps me and regular exercise and self care also helps me and my spiritual practice is another really important support where I can face fear and also ask for help. Thankyou
Being in a supportive community or with a coach to express my fears or the symptoms of fear (non action) and taking action steps to embrace my fear. What would courage have me do? What would someone that loves themself do? These are the questions I ask myself.
Shannon Lafever, Other, Woodland Park, CO, USAsays
Hoping to get past fear of teaching yoga- just got my certification yet bound by fear of stepping out and sharing yoga to make it accessible to people of all ages!
Therese Miller, Teacher, Fredericksburg, VA, USAsays
Remember, the people that will seek you out, as a teacher, want you to succeed but don’t expect you to be perfect. The Universe will support you ✨️ and I will keep you in my prayers. You will be awesome!!!
A prayer and naming fear helps. Recognising that my window of tolerance has narrowed and that my thinking has become black and white. If I can just pause and do this, it helps me to reach out for care and support rather than withdraw and become defensive. I don’t always remember to do this!
Becoming quiet, asking for help by talking it over with a trusted friend, asking the universal power for help, hiking in the forest, taking special care of myself.
We use thought records in CBT to work through fear (and other moods). We practice progressive muscle relaxation, box breathing and 5-4-3-2-1 grounding.
Guiding clients through a body scan to notice any tension or sensations in their bodies. Do a body settling exercise which involves breathing and hand on the skull or belly and over the heart.
When I manage to do that, I guess the most apt quote might be: “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” Easy to say but hard to do, even though both irrational and rational fear have done so much damage in my life.
Trusting that my Higher Power will give me the strength and wisdom to deal with whatever is in my path as has happened so many times before. Appreciating the tools given and those to be learned through the next experience and the one after that, and so on.
My partner. I’ve been going through significant trauma over the last year and a very high stress new job and my partner has helps me to break the negativity bias when I’m spinning out of control on fear and anxiety. I also try to read prayers and meditations in the morning when I feel the fear taking over, but I dont feel I have the personal tools to address this myself so it really sinks in, and am really looking forward to this video series- it came at the most serendipitous time in my life when I feel at the end of my coping abilities and I’m so incredibly grateful.
Knowing I have done it before and survived it!
I have lived with fear since I was small. Exactly as Tara Brach said, it was a relief to acknowledge the fear and give it space to be with the rest of me.
This is wonderful, thank you 🙏
I find it helpful for me (and those I work with) to Name the fear; quite literally
Then have a conversation with it because often it has something to say or is there because it feels it’s their to do a job such as protection or self preservation.
After working with the fear through mindfulness exercises and other tools in the wellness tool belt, including sometimes a playful awareness almost humor about it.
I can say thank you and ask it to step aside.
I try to remember that fear doesn’t come from a vacuum. I investigate the pain or past experience that is driving the fear, remind myself that I have handled it in the past, and trust myself to handle whatever arises in the future. I thank the part of myself that is sending the fear signal, but I don’t let that part override the rest of me and “drive the bus.” Instead I try to give that voice gratitude and acknowledgement, let it know that I have heard it and will take care moving forward to avoid pitfalls and past mistakes. My mantra these days is “It will all be okay in the end; if it’s not okay, then it’s not the end.” Fear can steal the sweetness from your life, and you can choose to savor that sweetness instead.
After a pregnancy loss, I was paralyzed with fear when I decided to try again. I finally had to come to peace with the fact that losing another baby was indeed a possibility, that there’s nothing anyone can do to prevent it. If it did happen again, I wanted the limited time I had with that baby to be filled with warmth and love, not anxiety and tension. So I loved her, and I loved being pregnant, and when I did lose her, I knew it would be painful and hard, but also that I would be okay again in time. I was right, it was awful, but with the help of my midwives, family, and friends, I got through it (and two years later, welcomed a new child into our family).
it’s a lesson I find myself revisiting often in the last few years. The pandemic, climate change, the rise of authoritarianism, suicides of lovely young people in our community, chronic pain and illness, disability and unemployment, marriage trouble and uncertain housing are all things weighing heavily upon my heart today. The fear is rising again, and I need to spend more time with it, make friends with it, learn from it, and let it inform but not drive my choices and decisions.
Peace, friends.
Fear usually comes up when I feel unconnected. When I feel that I have to face whatever it is that I perceive as challenging alone. When fear arises I try to be mindful and present so I can bring myself back to that feeling of connectedness to any person or higher being or even myself. The reassurance that I too am enough to be here that I am also here to show up for myself. That’s what gives me the courage to face my fears.
What a timely and well crafted video.
Thank you for making it available.
I often tell myself in an uncertain situation that I will only believe in the best possible outcome and that until something is it isn’t. This seems to steer me towards more positive hopeful thoughts but still recognizes that what I fear may still transpire but has me think more positively.
Letting gratitude take over fear. Living life to its fullest today, not thinking of the future as a problem, but an opportunity.
Hello dear Tara and all,
Thank you for offering this video and so much more for free!
When working with the difficult emotions or states of my clients I guide them and support them to go to the roots of the emotions and states, where usually is pain, so I help them feel and work with the pain in a more deep analyic level but also in relation to their past and present environment (a systemic level). And from a process orientated view I facilitate them to work around their edge and support them to go over it, first on a dreaming level and then to real life.
In this dreaming level, in process work we also work with a figure that is over the edge (so could be fearless), helping the person experience in here and now the secondary energy (eg fearlessness) as well as in a more detached essence level where there’s no polarization but a unified/wholeness and profoundly wise sense of being.
But I find so interesting and helpful what you’re saying Tara about helping clients to make clear when and where in the body there’s fear (which I guess goes hand by hand with trauma and pain) and to stay with it.
What I am learning in my small encounter with mindfulness and meditation is this “staying with and breathing” , anchoring everything to the body sensations or breath in order to let go of control and the vicious cycle of thinking.
Thank you dearly,
Eirini
Greece
I have created a room in my heart where I can sit with my fear, side by side. the room has lots of light and a soft sofa where we sit, side by side. I don’t shame it or suppress it. I hold it’s hand. We will take all the time we need just be there in the space, to breath, to look around, to wait for the right moment.
Thank you Tara! This reminder to acknowledge and allow was very helpful. In my practice with clients I find that EFT tapping is also very useful. In a similar way it is acknowledging the issue and related emotions being experienced, and via tapping, communicating this acknowledgment to the body. It the final tapping rounds the client may acknowledge supportive presences and prospects for healing.
Thank you again for being a Presence of healing in our world.
Compassion to me and acceptance of my own fragility as human being
Conscious breathing
1.) The ability to identify it in the first place.
The ‘name it to claim it’ idea. This can be tricky because it comes in a dozen or more packages…neatly wrapped and disguised, and if you’ve been conditioned to be polite, not make a fuss, say please and thank you, it’s even harder to unwrap these packages.
2.) once you know the fear is there and notice whether or not it’s a useful signal in your body/brain, a reaction necessary to keep you physically safe or if it’s a reaction to a perceived threat, a remembered past experience that has nothing to do with the present situation or not.
3.) when you identify this reaction as a fear mode that keeps you from living fully, you can then talk to it, guide it, this fear, have yourself a little relationship with it. You can say, “oh, hello, there you are” “sit down, relax, take a load off”
“OK, now, what seems to be the matter?”
4.) Now you have something to work with and you can apply some of the tools in your tool box, like.. say to yourself, ‘it’s ok, take a deep breath’ you can also give your brain a more useful emotion to replace the fear…like calm; a calming thought or memory like,”…think of a time when you felt safe and loved “ and then a bit of encouragement, the kind a good friend might give you, “Ok, you can do this, one step at a time…”.
I have found this takes a lot of practice in order to be aware that I am even having a fearful reaction to a situation. I find that when I can be aware, it makes a big difference, and I can build more confidence in myself, a little at a time.
When I feel fear I immediately focus on my breath and slow my breathing – that pause helps me create a space to deal with the fear – to be aware of its presence and to look at it as a thing but not be overwhelmed by it. This has been a long time in coming – I used to be controlled by fear and the uncertainty of life.
Being in a safe place with a safe empathic person, connection fuels healing
Mindfulness
share my fear out loud
Breathing, physical exercises, music and mindfulness
Absolutely wonderful. When I feel and sense fear in my body I check where in my body it is located; I say hello to it, welcome it and be with it, giving it space, allowing it to be the way it is how intense it is. Presence allows it to calm down.
Going towards my fear while sending talking in a loving, soothing manner to the frightened part of myself.
Dear Tara,
Thank you so much for opening that space to look at our fears and what we can do with it!
For me the big epiphany was, that fear, as well as other emotions, are energy that wants to flow.
Whenever I feel that I am being shaken or stifled by fear I try to let it move. For example by tuning in with my body and allowing it to move wherever it wants to. And by breathing into the part of my body that is being affected by it.
When my body starts moving the emotion can move as well. So I don’t get stuck with it. And sometimes it even turns into something else, like dancing, walking, cycling… it gets me out of freeze.
Yet my question remains – why I keep being „visited“ by this fear almost out of the blue?
I have a very close Connection with my friend. And I feel like even when we are physically apart, sometimes I get caught in anxiety, when she is focusing on another person. As if it triggers my bonding-trauma energetically.
Do you have any experiences with that kind of perception?
Acknowledging feelings, accepting them, and doing the scary thing with an abundance of self compassion.
When I am facing fear, I find the most helpful tool is to be in the present. My instinct is to act out different scenarios in my head, so that I am prepared for whatever outcome that presents itself. However, this is never productive or helpful. The best way to face fear for me is to be present, and tell myself, you’ll get through this because everything passes. Just get through the next five minutes. Then, after five minutes has passed, just get through the next five minutes. I cannot control the future, I can ONLY be in control of what is happening right now. That helps remove the terror of the unknown.
I’ve been engaged in a process of increasing self-awareness and inviting a sense of presence into my experience. I was motivated to do this by chronic pain that turned out to be a hybrid of an actual physical issue and an hypersensitive fear response. I have always been a highly sensitive person with a strong desire to understand myself in deep ways. my practice has revealed much to me. I meditate, do yoga, and exercise daily which helps me connect to my body. I learned that I was so disembodied that I had been ignoring signals and harboring fear and anger at what felt like betrayals by my body. Your talk was an always welcome reminder that self- compassion and deep listening and presence helps me be in harmony with myself and embrace embodied emotions. I spent so much of my 66 years, contrained by fear and fighting the loving messages from my body. My default can easily revert to this but I have learned to resource myself with the suppoets I need like your wise words. Thank you!💖
Reframing fear as nervous anticipation of discovering something new.
I want to use it for myself and those close to me
I get fearful at night when the world around me is quiet and my mind is free to wander. I pray to the spirits, on the other side, to help me ease my mind. If that doesn’t work, I turn on the TV and hug my dog. Thank you for being courageous. I sense you struggle, like us all, but continue to help us make peace with our world. Thank you for being a beacon in this stormy world. Tess
Slowing down. Feeling seen.
Breath practices, prayer and meditation have helped me acknowledge, accept and be with feelings of anxiety. I seek the presence, love and guidance of my Higher Power to meet the wonder and the triggers of daily challenges. I look forward to learning about all of the techniques that you are offering in this series to deal with these existing chronic issues.
I have been using guided mindfulness meditations for a few years now and find them really helpful. Your RAIN meditation, Tara, has been amazing. I believe that when I feel my fear in my body, and allow it, and then investigate it, it is not so powerful. I love the idea that I want to hear “It’s OK for me to be here” because I have always felt like an outsider.
Hello
I am not a practitioner just an individual who meditates daily but is facing some difficult times ahead of a medical nature. As I use Tara Brach’s many video conferences on Insight Timer, I look forward to hearing what she and others wish to say about fear.
This series on fear has come into my life at exactly the right time. I am suddenly fearful, living with anxiety for most of my life.
Recently it has hit me hard, worrying about health issues and how to handle the fear that takes over my day.
Thank you Tara and to NICABM for this series. it gives me hope for my future and tools to work with.
Jen
Slowing helps me face fear, sharing with trusted confidants also helps me, a regular meditation practice helps me and regular exercise and self care also helps me and my spiritual practice is another really important support where I can face fear and also ask for help. Thankyou
Being in a supportive community or with a coach to express my fears or the symptoms of fear (non action) and taking action steps to embrace my fear. What would courage have me do? What would someone that loves themself do? These are the questions I ask myself.
Hoping to get past fear of teaching yoga- just got my certification yet bound by fear of stepping out and sharing yoga to make it accessible to people of all ages!
Remember, the people that will seek you out, as a teacher, want you to succeed but don’t expect you to be perfect. The Universe will support you ✨️ and I will keep you in my prayers. You will be awesome!!!
My faith, knowing that I’m not alone, that Jesus is with me always and loves me unconditionally, whatever I do or don’t do.
Being in nature
A prayer and naming fear helps. Recognising that my window of tolerance has narrowed and that my thinking has become black and white. If I can just pause and do this, it helps me to reach out for care and support rather than withdraw and become defensive. I don’t always remember to do this!
Facing fear together.
Becoming quiet, asking for help by talking it over with a trusted friend, asking the universal power for help, hiking in the forest, taking special care of myself.
We use thought records in CBT to work through fear (and other moods). We practice progressive muscle relaxation, box breathing and 5-4-3-2-1 grounding.
Personally, I try to sit in solitude and breathe.
Faith and grounding
Understanding our shared human experience and knowing that we do not have to face it alone
Guiding clients through a body scan to notice any tension or sensations in their bodies. Do a body settling exercise which involves breathing and hand on the skull or belly and over the heart.
When I manage to do that, I guess the most apt quote might be: “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” Easy to say but hard to do, even though both irrational and rational fear have done so much damage in my life.
Being grateful, kind to myself & meditating in nature
Trusting that my Higher Power will give me the strength and wisdom to deal with whatever is in my path as has happened so many times before. Appreciating the tools given and those to be learned through the next experience and the one after that, and so on.
remembering i am a child of God/love is all around
My partner. I’ve been going through significant trauma over the last year and a very high stress new job and my partner has helps me to break the negativity bias when I’m spinning out of control on fear and anxiety. I also try to read prayers and meditations in the morning when I feel the fear taking over, but I dont feel I have the personal tools to address this myself so it really sinks in, and am really looking forward to this video series- it came at the most serendipitous time in my life when I feel at the end of my coping abilities and I’m so incredibly grateful.