I have a health condition called “essential tremor” and I experiences very frequently nervousness sensations and they are quiet similar to fear and anxiety. I face it being aware of it, embracing it with loving awareness but sometimes it’s really difficult to just let it be.
How good to be able to read of others ‘experiences’ of trying to live with & ‘overcome’ our fears and join this special community of those who both work with their own fears and help others to do the same.
For me, as a retired though still active, CofE vicar it has been a God given priviledge
to be able to share His love (which truly enables us to ‘conquer all fear’) with others especially at very vulnerable points in our lives. I find I often cry with others and am learning how this what I call ‘gift of tears’ (from God)is healing
Am just off ,now, to visit another bereaved family and I go expectantly (to see God’s loving Grace in action)
Breathing deeply, being present as the silent witness of the thoughts and feelings and allowing them to be exactly as they are without trying to change them. Also gentle self talk. Exercise helps to use up all those chemicals in the body and listening to wise talks and discussions on other things apart from my own narrow view of life really helps to gain a wider perspective.
I gain a helpful perspective of my fear and occasional anxiety through conversations with God. However, I had to do a lot of work early on I’m my life to address my unhealthy concept of God…punitive, shame-based, judgmental…in order to enter into helpful and meaningful conversations with God.
I have found that fear and anxiety can be a blessings to me as a signal that I need to pause, reflect and listen in to my heart…all a work in progress?
Thank you for your work and support through this journey called “Life”!
During a fear event I breathe deep and mindfully focus on the present moment. I stay away from thoughts of the past and future as they try to relate with the present. I gently stay in the Now.
Music, rhythm, harmony. Breathing in and out, slowly. Standing up straight, strong, and relaxed to do that. Singing. Dancing flamenco. Fully being with babies, children, or animals, even for a few moments. Loving sex. Eating food as if it were sex (i.e. not mindlessly). Letting plants inform me about pace, rather than birds. There is a questionnaire associated with posting this comment, about your profession. “MUSICIAN” is not among them. ?!?!?!?!?
with the practice of mindfulness I got the confidence to trust myself more. so I started first facing my “little” fears and then go on to the “bigger” ones. Every time I succeeded in defeating an obstacle, my fears reduced…. and so little step, by little step I’m getting braver
Embracing it and remembering it doesn’t define me as a person. The RAIN technique and other Mindfulness practices, Inner Child work, working with the Inner Parts (IFS), conscious breathing…
I have recently been doing a lot of work with my fear. One of the things I do is to face my fears with awareness, gratitude and openness. Remain open to the lesson my fear is inviting me to. I also reach out for support when walking through fear. Whether that is a spiritual director, coach, psychotherapist, the divine, I have a team that I turn to. It is very difficult to do this journey alone. Also, journaling and mindfulness are parts of my took kit as well.
I encourage some form of RAIN. I coach swimming with people of all ages, but all face some form of fear. I ask them to tell me what feeling they are experiencing, where it lives and that it is ok to have that feeling and that I used to feel that feeling as well. We then start small with what would feel right to practice, how I can best support them (where I stand, if I should demonstrate that again, what the water feels like when I relax and then say, “Wow, the water seems like it wants to keep you on the top when you relax…hmmm” And then we identify with, “I am a swimmer even if I feel afraid. And maybe it is enough just to try.”
I like breathing into the fear and asking what it needs. Someone suggested asking how old this part of you feels, as it adds more data. You can then picture this part of yourself and interact with it.
I encourage some form of RAIN. I coach swimming with people of all ages, but all face some form of fear. I ask them to tell me what feeling they are experiencing, where it lives and that it is ok to have that feeling and that I used to feel that feeling as well. We then start small with what would feel right to practice, how I can best support them (where I stand, if I should demonstrate that again, what the water feels like when I relax and then say, “Wow, the water seems like it wants to keep you on the top when you relax…hmmm” And then we identify with, “I am a swimmer even if I feel afraid. And maybe it is enough just to try.”
I’ve been allowing myself to feel it, and then I observe how it passes away after awhile. I’m leaning in to trusting Source and letting go of control. Appreciate your gift of the videos….
To help me and my clients face fear I have to make me and or the client acknowledge the stress in the body , let it come, see it and try to put it in a cathegory…Is it fight flight or freeze? Breathing makes us find a wide space, a silent space …. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR LESSONS
Im in a step program and have found fear is the number one factor to why I act out. I have found that it really never goes away but using a 3 pronged approach seems to cut the problem in thirds. Talk about it , write about it , pray about it. Sounds weird but I have to keep things simple. If the fear is still present the next day I repeat the process. Talking about it gets it out of my head. Writing about it seems to get in trapped on paper and praying seems to be the final stage of acceptance and the fear letting go of me. Brian
I am a Gestalt therapist for children, working in Berlin. It helps my clients to paint a picture of their fear or/and to find a puppet that represents their fear(s), then to talk to them or to shout at them or – once – to throw them out of the window. It is also very helpful to build up protecting powers, for example paint how the client’s guardian angel looks like (for example like a punk, a drummer, a wrestler). All of this helps to get in contact with fear, to get to know it and to find a place for it, where it can be. This brings calm, a feeling of control and new hope and security to my clients.
I think just sharing it with someone – a trusted friend, a therapist, sponsor, clergy, etc, reduces the power of it. The more you hide it, the bigger it becomes. Normalizing it for clients helps reduce the shame often attached to it. And emphasizing the person’s strengths, pointing out ways they have been successful in coping with their fear. Sometimes challenging distorted beliefs… teaching them to mindfully bring themselves back to now and increase awareness of “being safe” – pairing the phrase, “all is well” with the breath or having them practice a grounding exercise. I personally will mindfully seek out tangible evidence that my fear is baseless in the environment around me.
Great series and points, I look forward to the next segment. I have not heard fear described as she has, will be working within myself on what I can itdentify, thank you.
I’m a LICSW psychotherapist and yoga teacher. I practice mindfulness meditation myself and teach it to my clients, along with yoga if they are receptive. I teach them how to use RAIN, and we practice it in our sessions and they practice it as homework during the week. It’s very helpful as a tool in working with couples. They learn to pause and reflect instead of escalate during conflicts or stress.
Thanks!
Sometimes I view my fear like a developmental phase of my life…It is inviting me to grow into what is next…I don’t always want to do that…the breathing, walking, exercise, give me that bodily expression. Right along with the new comes the grieving of the old, and I don’t always like that, but I do eventually grieve.
Mindfulness of each moment has been the only action that helps with my fear. Is it clear and present danger or is it vain imaginings. Worse, is it some one’s fear that they can not control and it is effecting my life. Learning that it is not about me, but them and not reacting in a fight or flight manner is the only way to defuse and help them. I often think of the term, “all we have to fear is fear its self”.
What helps me face fear is first identifying what it is that I actually fear, then sharing that with another person (getting it outside of me/shedding light on it). I then practice a very rudimentary Tonglen practice in which I breathe in fear and breathe out faith. During this process I connect with my God, the Earth, and all that is so that I remember that I am not alone. Finally, I see fear as an opportunity to grow. I remember a favorite quote, “Comfort the disturbed, disturb the comfortable.” When I feel fear, I see it as a disturbance meant to propel me forward.
With my clients it is much the same. I teach them how to connect with their breath for grounding and connecting, or as you put it “being at home with yourself.” We connect fear to the sensations in the body, the beliefs/stories in the mind, and then see what we can offer those sensations and beliefs that might help. I help my clients learn to sit with fear and learn to respond rather than react. Mostly, my clients come to see that fear arises from vulnerability, and that once they allow themselves to tap into and express their vulnerability, the fear subsides and compassion arises.
Very clear and insightful talk, Tara! I find that fully inhabiting the present moment helps me dispel fear. For example, my husband’s relatives are coming to visit our house in another city today. Yesterday, I was dwelling on the future; on what I’d say, on what they’d probably be talking about, getting more and more anxious about the whole day ahead. Then I remembered the present moment. So I really let myself get into what I was doing (cooking dinner for us), and I found myself enjoying each part of preparation of the meal (grating, chopping, sautéing.) Then, since my mind was free of fear, I thought of a tv series we could watch while we ate. It was a fun meal, and my mind was in the moment.
Then I found out, my husband doesn’t even expect me to be there when his relatives arrive. So I was worrying about nothing!
This is so helpful – thank you! In my practice, when fear is getting in the way, I try and help my client recognize the fear, and say “hello!” beginning a process of acceptance and ease. As an art therapist it is helpful to make an image to represent the fear, externalize it to some degree, and allowing some space so the client can feel more in control.
Appreciated the valuable content of the verbal presentation, but found the glum background music very distracting and in conflict with the upbeat content. I don’t see any need to “filter” or “mask” the straightforward message of the words with “mood music”. Thanks.
Thank you. I always thought I needed to make fear go away. It’s a new idea for me to think about making friends with it, welcome it and get to know it.
it helps me trying not to solve it through my thoughts ( which gets me deeper into Trouble). I try to feel the raw Energie of the Emotion without much labeling it and try to hold myself with compassion for this difficult Task. This is my best ‘tool’ so far.
Recognizing it. Naming it. Then choosing to take conscious action anyway. Doing it scared creates confidence and allows me to practice being in the driver’s seat rather than allowing my fear to be!
Excellent presentation!
What helps me work more skillfully with fear in myself and with my clients is to intentionally slow down in this moment, breathe easy with a longer than usual exhale and acknowledge that ‘fear’ is here. This simple, but often not easy, first step can help to open up beyond reactivity and begin to experience a little sense of safety.
As a 67 year old sufferer of complex ptsd, EMDR is helping me to face my fear. Other behavioral methods helped to prepare me for this, but up to now, nothing has actually allowed me to face and readjust that fear. I am sure that mindfulness will help me through this and beyond.
I use breath and remind myself I am safe. When working with clients I have them ask what the fear is wanting. Having them breath, bringing them into presence. I recently heard someone say fear is a lair.
When I feel fear if I’m fortunate I recognize it. Then I choose to walk slower breathe slower soften my torso. And I say to myself life happens no matter what I feel or do. This relieves me of responsibility for fixing what fear decides is wrong.
Being present in the now reveals that fear is a future or a past repetitive thought. Identifying what those repeating thoughts are to see if they are true usually dissolves them. Recognizing their repetitive assertions allows me to to see how uncreative they are.
…
Overcoming Fear: knowing I am not alone, God has my back… trusting God to carry me through… praying….journaling… listening to the whispers of my heat/Spirit/God/higher wisdom…. asking myself,What would I do if I were not afraid?… and then doing it with a lot of prayer or talking it out with someone… having lots of inspirational words of wisdom around to give me strength and courage.
So many great ideas here, very grateful!!!
Thank you Tara for sharing your insights. Often when I am with a client who is fearful I ask her to breathe and I try to hold my own presence and allow the client to share with me her feelings in the moment. In holding presence with her I sometimes ask her what if this fear which feels like an angry tiger ready to pounce turns out to be just a pissed off pussy cat and that we can face this together a bit at a time at her own pace. Often at this point there is a pause and a sense of realisation that it might just be possible. I am aware as practitioners we need to reflect on where we also are holding fear and this for me involves compassion and allowing and not reacting.
Acknowledging the fear is very powerful. It seems the worst thing one can do is to bury it, or run away, or look for escapes. Meditation is the most helpful thing for me, and also writing about my fears. It helps me gain control when I see their source.
I have a health condition called “essential tremor” and I experiences very frequently nervousness sensations and they are quiet similar to fear and anxiety. I face it being aware of it, embracing it with loving awareness but sometimes it’s really difficult to just let it be.
How good to be able to read of others ‘experiences’ of trying to live with & ‘overcome’ our fears and join this special community of those who both work with their own fears and help others to do the same.
For me, as a retired though still active, CofE vicar it has been a God given priviledge
to be able to share His love (which truly enables us to ‘conquer all fear’) with others especially at very vulnerable points in our lives. I find I often cry with others and am learning how this what I call ‘gift of tears’ (from God)is healing
Am just off ,now, to visit another bereaved family and I go expectantly (to see God’s loving Grace in action)
Breathing deeply, being present as the silent witness of the thoughts and feelings and allowing them to be exactly as they are without trying to change them. Also gentle self talk. Exercise helps to use up all those chemicals in the body and listening to wise talks and discussions on other things apart from my own narrow view of life really helps to gain a wider perspective.
I pray for strength and guidance. Meditate
I gain a helpful perspective of my fear and occasional anxiety through conversations with God. However, I had to do a lot of work early on I’m my life to address my unhealthy concept of God…punitive, shame-based, judgmental…in order to enter into helpful and meaningful conversations with God.
I have found that fear and anxiety can be a blessings to me as a signal that I need to pause, reflect and listen in to my heart…all a work in progress?
Thank you for your work and support through this journey called “Life”!
During a fear event I breathe deep and mindfully focus on the present moment. I stay away from thoughts of the past and future as they try to relate with the present. I gently stay in the Now.
Music, rhythm, harmony. Breathing in and out, slowly. Standing up straight, strong, and relaxed to do that. Singing. Dancing flamenco. Fully being with babies, children, or animals, even for a few moments. Loving sex. Eating food as if it were sex (i.e. not mindlessly). Letting plants inform me about pace, rather than birds. There is a questionnaire associated with posting this comment, about your profession. “MUSICIAN” is not among them. ?!?!?!?!?
with the practice of mindfulness I got the confidence to trust myself more. so I started first facing my “little” fears and then go on to the “bigger” ones. Every time I succeeded in defeating an obstacle, my fears reduced…. and so little step, by little step I’m getting braver
Embracing it and remembering it doesn’t define me as a person. The RAIN technique and other Mindfulness practices, Inner Child work, working with the Inner Parts (IFS), conscious breathing…
I find that taking action reduces my fear. Facing the fear head on.
I have recently been doing a lot of work with my fear. One of the things I do is to face my fears with awareness, gratitude and openness. Remain open to the lesson my fear is inviting me to. I also reach out for support when walking through fear. Whether that is a spiritual director, coach, psychotherapist, the divine, I have a team that I turn to. It is very difficult to do this journey alone. Also, journaling and mindfulness are parts of my took kit as well.
I encourage some form of RAIN. I coach swimming with people of all ages, but all face some form of fear. I ask them to tell me what feeling they are experiencing, where it lives and that it is ok to have that feeling and that I used to feel that feeling as well. We then start small with what would feel right to practice, how I can best support them (where I stand, if I should demonstrate that again, what the water feels like when I relax and then say, “Wow, the water seems like it wants to keep you on the top when you relax…hmmm” And then we identify with, “I am a swimmer even if I feel afraid. And maybe it is enough just to try.”
I like breathing into the fear and asking what it needs. Someone suggested asking how old this part of you feels, as it adds more data. You can then picture this part of yourself and interact with it.
I encourage some form of RAIN. I coach swimming with people of all ages, but all face some form of fear. I ask them to tell me what feeling they are experiencing, where it lives and that it is ok to have that feeling and that I used to feel that feeling as well. We then start small with what would feel right to practice, how I can best support them (where I stand, if I should demonstrate that again, what the water feels like when I relax and then say, “Wow, the water seems like it wants to keep you on the top when you relax…hmmm” And then we identify with, “I am a swimmer even if I feel afraid. And maybe it is enough just to try.”
Breaking the years down piece by piece
Its nice to hear Tara Brach talk once again. I always get it more the second time. Thank you.
I’ve been allowing myself to feel it, and then I observe how it passes away after awhile. I’m leaning in to trusting Source and letting go of control. Appreciate your gift of the videos….
To help me and my clients face fear I have to make me and or the client acknowledge the stress in the body , let it come, see it and try to put it in a cathegory…Is it fight flight or freeze? Breathing makes us find a wide space, a silent space …. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR LESSONS
Im in a step program and have found fear is the number one factor to why I act out. I have found that it really never goes away but using a 3 pronged approach seems to cut the problem in thirds. Talk about it , write about it , pray about it. Sounds weird but I have to keep things simple. If the fear is still present the next day I repeat the process. Talking about it gets it out of my head. Writing about it seems to get in trapped on paper and praying seems to be the final stage of acceptance and the fear letting go of me. Brian
I look at fear as one of my teachers. The fear is trying to teach me something.
I am a Gestalt therapist for children, working in Berlin. It helps my clients to paint a picture of their fear or/and to find a puppet that represents their fear(s), then to talk to them or to shout at them or – once – to throw them out of the window. It is also very helpful to build up protecting powers, for example paint how the client’s guardian angel looks like (for example like a punk, a drummer, a wrestler). All of this helps to get in contact with fear, to get to know it and to find a place for it, where it can be. This brings calm, a feeling of control and new hope and security to my clients.
Deep breathing
Mindfulness and allowing fear to be present
Faith in a higher power that everything will work out for my highest good.
I think just sharing it with someone – a trusted friend, a therapist, sponsor, clergy, etc, reduces the power of it. The more you hide it, the bigger it becomes. Normalizing it for clients helps reduce the shame often attached to it. And emphasizing the person’s strengths, pointing out ways they have been successful in coping with their fear. Sometimes challenging distorted beliefs… teaching them to mindfully bring themselves back to now and increase awareness of “being safe” – pairing the phrase, “all is well” with the breath or having them practice a grounding exercise. I personally will mindfully seek out tangible evidence that my fear is baseless in the environment around me.
Great series and points, I look forward to the next segment. I have not heard fear described as she has, will be working within myself on what I can itdentify, thank you.
Gentle, encouraging self talk is useful – i.e. kindness to self.
Meeting the fear and talking to it / when I had cancer I would say “You are strong but I am stronger.”
I’m a LICSW psychotherapist and yoga teacher. I practice mindfulness meditation myself and teach it to my clients, along with yoga if they are receptive. I teach them how to use RAIN, and we practice it in our sessions and they practice it as homework during the week. It’s very helpful as a tool in working with couples. They learn to pause and reflect instead of escalate during conflicts or stress.
Thanks!
Sometimes I view my fear like a developmental phase of my life…It is inviting me to grow into what is next…I don’t always want to do that…the breathing, walking, exercise, give me that bodily expression. Right along with the new comes the grieving of the old, and I don’t always like that, but I do eventually grieve.
Mindfulness of each moment has been the only action that helps with my fear. Is it clear and present danger or is it vain imaginings. Worse, is it some one’s fear that they can not control and it is effecting my life. Learning that it is not about me, but them and not reacting in a fight or flight manner is the only way to defuse and help them. I often think of the term, “all we have to fear is fear its self”.
Breathing & removing myself to a safe place.
Visualization of scary situations going well
What helps me face fear is first identifying what it is that I actually fear, then sharing that with another person (getting it outside of me/shedding light on it). I then practice a very rudimentary Tonglen practice in which I breathe in fear and breathe out faith. During this process I connect with my God, the Earth, and all that is so that I remember that I am not alone. Finally, I see fear as an opportunity to grow. I remember a favorite quote, “Comfort the disturbed, disturb the comfortable.” When I feel fear, I see it as a disturbance meant to propel me forward.
With my clients it is much the same. I teach them how to connect with their breath for grounding and connecting, or as you put it “being at home with yourself.” We connect fear to the sensations in the body, the beliefs/stories in the mind, and then see what we can offer those sensations and beliefs that might help. I help my clients learn to sit with fear and learn to respond rather than react. Mostly, my clients come to see that fear arises from vulnerability, and that once they allow themselves to tap into and express their vulnerability, the fear subsides and compassion arises.
Very clear and insightful talk, Tara! I find that fully inhabiting the present moment helps me dispel fear. For example, my husband’s relatives are coming to visit our house in another city today. Yesterday, I was dwelling on the future; on what I’d say, on what they’d probably be talking about, getting more and more anxious about the whole day ahead. Then I remembered the present moment. So I really let myself get into what I was doing (cooking dinner for us), and I found myself enjoying each part of preparation of the meal (grating, chopping, sautéing.) Then, since my mind was free of fear, I thought of a tv series we could watch while we ate. It was a fun meal, and my mind was in the moment.
Then I found out, my husband doesn’t even expect me to be there when his relatives arrive. So I was worrying about nothing!
This is so helpful – thank you! In my practice, when fear is getting in the way, I try and help my client recognize the fear, and say “hello!” beginning a process of acceptance and ease. As an art therapist it is helpful to make an image to represent the fear, externalize it to some degree, and allowing some space so the client can feel more in control.
Appreciated the valuable content of the verbal presentation, but found the glum background music very distracting and in conflict with the upbeat content. I don’t see any need to “filter” or “mask” the straightforward message of the words with “mood music”. Thanks.
Thank you. I always thought I needed to make fear go away. It’s a new idea for me to think about making friends with it, welcome it and get to know it.
it helps me trying not to solve it through my thoughts ( which gets me deeper into Trouble). I try to feel the raw Energie of the Emotion without much labeling it and try to hold myself with compassion for this difficult Task. This is my best ‘tool’ so far.
Recognizing it. Naming it. Then choosing to take conscious action anyway. Doing it scared creates confidence and allows me to practice being in the driver’s seat rather than allowing my fear to be!
Bodywork with somatic agency
Excellent presentation!
What helps me work more skillfully with fear in myself and with my clients is to intentionally slow down in this moment, breathe easy with a longer than usual exhale and acknowledge that ‘fear’ is here. This simple, but often not easy, first step can help to open up beyond reactivity and begin to experience a little sense of safety.
Love Tara Brach could listen to her and trust what she says easily as I love her meditations.
Thank you, Tara. I gained a few tips. I’m typically overwrought before I realize I need to stop and talk to my Inner Self regarding the fear.
As a 67 year old sufferer of complex ptsd, EMDR is helping me to face my fear. Other behavioral methods helped to prepare me for this, but up to now, nothing has actually allowed me to face and readjust that fear. I am sure that mindfulness will help me through this and beyond.
I use breath and remind myself I am safe. When working with clients I have them ask what the fear is wanting. Having them breath, bringing them into presence. I recently heard someone say fear is a lair.
When I feel fear if I’m fortunate I recognize it. Then I choose to walk slower breathe slower soften my torso. And I say to myself life happens no matter what I feel or do. This relieves me of responsibility for fixing what fear decides is wrong.
Being present in the now reveals that fear is a future or a past repetitive thought. Identifying what those repeating thoughts are to see if they are true usually dissolves them. Recognizing their repetitive assertions allows me to to see how uncreative they are.
…
Overcoming Fear: knowing I am not alone, God has my back… trusting God to carry me through… praying….journaling… listening to the whispers of my heat/Spirit/God/higher wisdom…. asking myself,What would I do if I were not afraid?… and then doing it with a lot of prayer or talking it out with someone… having lots of inspirational words of wisdom around to give me strength and courage.
So many great ideas here, very grateful!!!
Thank you Tara for sharing your insights. Often when I am with a client who is fearful I ask her to breathe and I try to hold my own presence and allow the client to share with me her feelings in the moment. In holding presence with her I sometimes ask her what if this fear which feels like an angry tiger ready to pounce turns out to be just a pissed off pussy cat and that we can face this together a bit at a time at her own pace. Often at this point there is a pause and a sense of realisation that it might just be possible. I am aware as practitioners we need to reflect on where we also are holding fear and this for me involves compassion and allowing and not reacting.
Acknowledging the fear is very powerful. It seems the worst thing one can do is to bury it, or run away, or look for escapes. Meditation is the most helpful thing for me, and also writing about my fears. It helps me gain control when I see their source.