I have been afraid of everything for most of my life. It really has ruled me. I’m trying to heal that part of me but it is sloooow going. The stickiest situations I experience are when I have a need to express or a boundary to set/maintain – I tend to “freeze and please” rather than risk rejection. It’s getting easier to recognize and allow that fear later, when I’m no longer in the situation… So I’m focused on letting even that delayed mindfulness be okay for now, instead of judging it harshly and starting the shame loop all over again. Baby steps. Thank you for sharing your wisdom in this. Hard to express how profound your teachings have been for me.
Telling myself the story over and over and over again and not being aware of it. Until I become aware. It is already in the awareness of this repetition that the story looses power. The story – which is always related to some kind of event that includes a form of self-rejection – brings about stress, tension. And, no matter what I or others tell myself, I tend to believe it….
I try to get my brain to neutral thinking by going into breathing and body sensation whenever I see my worry thoughts above the line. I understand that that is what will normalise my physiology from fear physiology. And also be in the present.
I. E. Mindfulness tape on, while driving (inching rather) to work, and just as I lay down to sleep because those are times when all the worry thoughts come above the line.
Thank you Tara.
As I watched and listened , realised the Inner critic is worry and and anxiety, and fear,for me.
I appreciate the mindfulness practice and will add it to my routine…
Thankyou Tara.
I have increasingly become full of worry and fear. I originally thought it was safe and healthy to anticipate what could happen. This has blocked so much joy in my life. Years pass and I avoid doing things that awaken my spirit so I now feel so numb and in a deficit of actual LIVING. And now I am worried about my age and how little time I have left to do the things I want to do. I look around and see people enjoying life, thriving in life, and this just puts another layer onto my situation. Thank you for this video and for the understanding of fear versus anxiety.
Gentle wisdom and kind, generous sharing. I appreciate the simplicity of the instructions- they are not easy to carry out (given our survival instinct is to react automatically to threat, perceived or real) but simple concepts to understand and to guide effective practice.
I don’t think this exercise is for me. my experience with worry has heightened my alertness. I have been I this state for 13 years due to an accident my 33 year old daughter was involved in. She sustained a severe traumatic brain injury that changed her life iand mine n every way. I am fortunate to be able to care for her at home. Lately her health is rapidly declining and I can’t stop it from happening. She has fought for so long and she’s tired. my beautiful daughter who is non verbal is telling me to listen to her body and I am doing just that. I really don’t have the words Tara. that’s why i enjoy listening to your you tube video’s to help me relax and open my mind . thank you for that
Unless I have a fixed appointment, (retired from working as a family doctor last November, but I did this on holidays and free days all my life) I cannot start the day for at least two hours because I am trying to make the “right” choice about what do do.
Thank you for sharing your clear thoughts about the difference between fear and worry. l am a retired staff Nurse from a busy Surgical Unit and dealing with fear, worries, anxiety on a daily basis I found that teaching breathing techniques were very successful xx
i am aware of a sense of fear in my body whenever I’ve had an altercation with my daughter or if something has gone seriously wrong. Lately i have noticed that a vague sense of fear arises for no apparent reason around the full or new moon.
it was indeed a liberating feeling to mindfully tell myself that it is OK to have anxious thoughts – There was a sense of calm in me.I even smiled at my little change.
My mother used to say that if you worry about something it won’t happen!!!
I’ve been an obsessive worrier since I was a little girl. I’ve lived a life where there was always something hanging out there that was unsettling. That said, I’ve had a relatively good life albeit a distressing traumatic childhood that still gets in my way.
Worry and anxiety have been my addiction possibly learned from my parents’ ways of dealing with life’s difficulties, though they pressed on and countered the problems, which I learned also. I have been learning Mindfulness for a few years from Tara’s online courses.
Offering oneself comfort or self-care has been the most effective way to quell anxiety. Most of the time what we are looking for is some kind, soothing words…..and when we become our own solace, we provide immediate healing. This also reduces our expectations that others will console us and the disappointment that arises when they are not able to do so.
Want to find relief for my elderly parent who has so much anxiety that she has chronic somatic pain symptoms in all of her head and body – worry about health which recently has become worse and needs medications that make anxiety 1000 percent worse. Tried all possible medications and electroconvulsive therapy as well. She has become addicted to worry as she was widowed young and has had a very tough life.
Since my childhood I’ve been worrying about being enough, accepted and not rejected. I remember myself worrying about necessity to fix the problem and blaming myself that others felt wrong, when sad , angry or unhappy. Either I saw myself bring the source of the problem or just unable to fix it.
It’s a well worn path. When I realize I’m trying to control a situation it’s largely because I’m so anxious it won’t go well, I won’t figure out where all the potential land mines are. I become obsessed and uneasy. It’s very painful. When I take a moment and contemplate that the universe is with me and can help me, sometimes I feel an instant of peace. Relaxing into imagining the power I have within is powerful.
Thank you Tara for your lucid explanation of the difference between fear and anxiety. I makes both more manageable by simply understanding the difference intellectually and then connecting the feeling to the place in the body it’s inhabiting. I’m going to work this exercise. I already feel stronger.
Worry really does destroy the present. Noticing helps and decreases that aweful feeling in my stomach. Also self talk like I’m ok ,I can do this really gives me a pause moment. Decreasing that gripping self doubt directly increases my joy. I have a ways to go but it will be worth the work.
The thing is that i worry a lot about health and it seems that if I dont worry things are gonna get out of hand. I worry about thing that will really happens beciase we are all going to get ill someday… I have some diseases already.
it is difficult for me because I find it difficult to find parts of my body to be friendly with. My body seems not quite with me. Ever.
I would like more help to know that my body and mind are the same person.
I think I do a pretty good job at acknowledging anxious, worry thoughts in my conscious mind. However, I find out that I have a fair bit of tension in my unconscious self. I feel better when I keep a gratitude, journal, meditate daily, keep up with friends, and keep moving. Ie a daily qigong practice.
For the past 8 months, I have been dealing with severe and chronic anxiety. I realized that I was gay and have been worrying incessantly about what others think of me, if they will accept me, etc. I am realizing that the most fulfilling love story is the one where I love & accept myself unconditionally first. I am realizing that this story will bring me the most freedom. I want to live life with an open heart for myself. Fear is not going to hold me back anymore. Thank you for your beautiful wisdom, Tara. You change lives <3
My experiences with chronic fear, anger and anxiety have left me with the realization that I’ve wasted so much time obsessing about the past and future.
And I am so much ‘up in my head’ that I don’t think to value or tune into my body sensations.
Thank you for the reminder to tune in and to be gentle with myself.
Went by too fast for me to do it. was not able to feel better at the end, left hanging with the bad scarey feelings.
moving on to next video for learning more skills.
The content of problem description was very good and clear.
Thank you very much. This has explained so clearly to me the amount of time I am wasting about what will happen next. I absolutely need a way to manage better the actual, real and practical problems in my life, and this awareness can only help me deal with them better. even if the worst case outcome happens, this enables me to feel able to cope with that outcome regardless.
Daring to leave worried thoughts and enter somatic experience takes courage. I appreciate the description of being “addicted” to anxiety – I can see that the culture that I live in supports this, and finding a way beyond this is radical.
If there is a way to get a link to this 3part series, I would like to share it with people who are anxious & don’t do Facebook or other social media. Please consider. Thank you 🙏🏼
Thank you! Yes, I am a worryaholic. I do recognize the addictive quality and appreciate you describing the importance of breaking the loop. Procrastination feels like a by product of the worry cycle and hopefully, I can break that habit using these tools.
Interesting. I started to get anxious just thinking. The process makes sense to me.
Just mastering this for me is not easy. I learned the difference better words Fear and anxiety.
I have developed anxiety only in the last few years. I know exactly when & how it started. Panic attacks came out of nowhere & had a snowballing effect on me & then it would be gone & I would be left exhausted & in fear. Luckily, I had a good support system that helped me breathe & live through these. Now, the panic attacks are less but anxiety is constant. I’ve developed certain phobias that I have no idea how I could have never felt in my 40+ years & feel them so intensely now. I’m still trying to figure this out, why me, why now & what next. I love TB & listen to her almost every week. I’m so grateful to her & truly thankful to her for letting us access her words of wisdom for free. THANK YOU 🙏🏼
I think I have been in this pattern since my daughter was born. she was a trying baby. she was born with the embiblical cord wrapped around her throat 3 times. her embiblical cord was very long and thin.
she was held back for 10 minutes.
she didn’t get enough oxygen. the medical system would not support us in getting help.
so through the years, I have been in constant worry over her.
Now, she is 49 years old and homeless. I have had no support. The marriage only lasted 4.5 yrs. my ex only felt he had yo work and watch TV. the rest was on me.
Family on both sides visited us about 6 times.
I was blamed for the breakdown up. I ended up being betrayed, abandoned, and told by both sides of the family that I was the reason why my kids didn’t have family. even though I willingly gave access.
I had all the issues on my plate. the father and his parent(s) told my children it was my fault.
well, my son passed by ways that are still not clear. controversy was created.
when my daughter chose to give up her, “paid,” apartment andb90% of her possessions, it just about put me under.
we were in a car accident in 2021. all of us; (granddaughter, my daughter and myself) have suffered further mental illness.
I have the looping you talk about. so far medication has not helped
I suffer from going into a type of separation from the current state. I go into thinking about problems I do have. constantly trying to find answers.
Then, I don’t have the energy to carry out what I need to do.
for example; I had someone do some drywall work for me. well, what a mess. that was 4 years ago. I have done some work. until my daughter went on the streets.
My health and mental health has been getting weaker and weaker.
I have noticed that when I am happy, I achieve something or things are going well I start feeding thoughts about the past in which I failed or what I have not done. I managed to create in mind the worse scenario and sabotage the good time I was experiencing.
I found this session most helpful. The three step process is most beneficial, and when you mentioned that the thoughts will come back, this actually freed me up helping me to realise that I am normal. Rather than worrying because the thoughts repeat themselves, you have helped me to work towards de conditioning myself. thank you
I have been afraid of everything for most of my life. It really has ruled me. I’m trying to heal that part of me but it is sloooow going. The stickiest situations I experience are when I have a need to express or a boundary to set/maintain – I tend to “freeze and please” rather than risk rejection. It’s getting easier to recognize and allow that fear later, when I’m no longer in the situation… So I’m focused on letting even that delayed mindfulness be okay for now, instead of judging it harshly and starting the shame loop all over again. Baby steps. Thank you for sharing your wisdom in this. Hard to express how profound your teachings have been for me.
Telling myself the story over and over and over again and not being aware of it. Until I become aware. It is already in the awareness of this repetition that the story looses power. The story – which is always related to some kind of event that includes a form of self-rejection – brings about stress, tension. And, no matter what I or others tell myself, I tend to believe it….
Thank you
I try to get my brain to neutral thinking by going into breathing and body sensation whenever I see my worry thoughts above the line. I understand that that is what will normalise my physiology from fear physiology. And also be in the present.
I. E. Mindfulness tape on, while driving (inching rather) to work, and just as I lay down to sleep because those are times when all the worry thoughts come above the line.
Thank you Tara.
As I watched and listened , realised the Inner critic is worry and and anxiety, and fear,for me.
I appreciate the mindfulness practice and will add it to my routine…
Thankyou Tara.
I have increasingly become full of worry and fear. I originally thought it was safe and healthy to anticipate what could happen. This has blocked so much joy in my life. Years pass and I avoid doing things that awaken my spirit so I now feel so numb and in a deficit of actual LIVING. And now I am worried about my age and how little time I have left to do the things I want to do. I look around and see people enjoying life, thriving in life, and this just puts another layer onto my situation. Thank you for this video and for the understanding of fear versus anxiety.
Gentle wisdom and kind, generous sharing. I appreciate the simplicity of the instructions- they are not easy to carry out (given our survival instinct is to react automatically to threat, perceived or real) but simple concepts to understand and to guide effective practice.
Yes, It is a loop that prevents a full enjoyment of the experiencie.
Overthinking and worry about most future events.
I don’t think this exercise is for me. my experience with worry has heightened my alertness. I have been I this state for 13 years due to an accident my 33 year old daughter was involved in. She sustained a severe traumatic brain injury that changed her life iand mine n every way. I am fortunate to be able to care for her at home. Lately her health is rapidly declining and I can’t stop it from happening. She has fought for so long and she’s tired. my beautiful daughter who is non verbal is telling me to listen to her body and I am doing just that. I really don’t have the words Tara. that’s why i enjoy listening to your you tube video’s to help me relax and open my mind . thank you for that
very helpful! Deep gratitude! Thank you much appreciated! 🙏
Unless I have a fixed appointment, (retired from working as a family doctor last November, but I did this on holidays and free days all my life) I cannot start the day for at least two hours because I am trying to make the “right” choice about what do do.
overthinking and procrastination because of fear of failure
I have a hierarchy of worries that I work through like a rosary. When I get to worrying about being fat then I know the other stuff must be going okay
Addiction to worrying keeps me from sleeping as my mind refuses to stop.
Thank you for sharing your clear thoughts about the difference between fear and worry. l am a retired staff Nurse from a busy Surgical Unit and dealing with fear, worries, anxiety on a daily basis I found that teaching breathing techniques were very successful xx
I’ve been addicted to worry thoughts and del at doubt. Listening and practicing Tara’s teachings help me. This is why I’m so grateful
i am aware of a sense of fear in my body whenever I’ve had an altercation with my daughter or if something has gone seriously wrong. Lately i have noticed that a vague sense of fear arises for no apparent reason around the full or new moon.
Thank you Tara…. For your wisdom and sublime ability to explain things clearly and with compassion. Very helpful. Very grateful 🙏xx
I thought worry had increased with aging,but I realise it has been present all my life.I realise the link with self doubt.thank you.
it was indeed a liberating feeling to mindfully tell myself that it is OK to have anxious thoughts – There was a sense of calm in me.I even smiled at my little change.
It’s a habit. It makes me feel that I’m actively solving problems when I worry.
My mother used to say that if you worry about something it won’t happen!!!
I’ve been an obsessive worrier since I was a little girl. I’ve lived a life where there was always something hanging out there that was unsettling. That said, I’ve had a relatively good life albeit a distressing traumatic childhood that still gets in my way.
Worry and anxiety have been my addiction possibly learned from my parents’ ways of dealing with life’s difficulties, though they pressed on and countered the problems, which I learned also. I have been learning Mindfulness for a few years from Tara’s online courses.
Offering oneself comfort or self-care has been the most effective way to quell anxiety. Most of the time what we are looking for is some kind, soothing words…..and when we become our own solace, we provide immediate healing. This also reduces our expectations that others will console us and the disappointment that arises when they are not able to do so.
Want to find relief for my elderly parent who has so much anxiety that she has chronic somatic pain symptoms in all of her head and body – worry about health which recently has become worse and needs medications that make anxiety 1000 percent worse. Tried all possible medications and electroconvulsive therapy as well. She has become addicted to worry as she was widowed young and has had a very tough life.
Since my childhood I’ve been worrying about being enough, accepted and not rejected. I remember myself worrying about necessity to fix the problem and blaming myself that others felt wrong, when sad , angry or unhappy. Either I saw myself bring the source of the problem or just unable to fix it.
It’s a well worn path. When I realize I’m trying to control a situation it’s largely because I’m so anxious it won’t go well, I won’t figure out where all the potential land mines are. I become obsessed and uneasy. It’s very painful. When I take a moment and contemplate that the universe is with me and can help me, sometimes I feel an instant of peace. Relaxing into imagining the power I have within is powerful.
Is the program also for persons who have chronic anxiety or only for heslth professionals?
Thank you Tara for your lucid explanation of the difference between fear and anxiety. I makes both more manageable by simply understanding the difference intellectually and then connecting the feeling to the place in the body it’s inhabiting. I’m going to work this exercise. I already feel stronger.
Worry really does destroy the present. Noticing helps and decreases that aweful feeling in my stomach. Also self talk like I’m ok ,I can do this really gives me a pause moment. Decreasing that gripping self doubt directly increases my joy. I have a ways to go but it will be worth the work.
The thing is that i worry a lot about health and it seems that if I dont worry things are gonna get out of hand. I worry about thing that will really happens beciase we are all going to get ill someday… I have some diseases already.
it is difficult for me because I find it difficult to find parts of my body to be friendly with. My body seems not quite with me. Ever.
I would like more help to know that my body and mind are the same person.
I think I do a pretty good job at acknowledging anxious, worry thoughts in my conscious mind. However, I find out that I have a fair bit of tension in my unconscious self. I feel better when I keep a gratitude, journal, meditate daily, keep up with friends, and keep moving. Ie a daily qigong practice.
For the past 8 months, I have been dealing with severe and chronic anxiety. I realized that I was gay and have been worrying incessantly about what others think of me, if they will accept me, etc. I am realizing that the most fulfilling love story is the one where I love & accept myself unconditionally first. I am realizing that this story will bring me the most freedom. I want to live life with an open heart for myself. Fear is not going to hold me back anymore. Thank you for your beautiful wisdom, Tara. You change lives <3
My experiences with chronic fear, anger and anxiety have left me with the realization that I’ve wasted so much time obsessing about the past and future.
And I am so much ‘up in my head’ that I don’t think to value or tune into my body sensations.
Thank you for the reminder to tune in and to be gentle with myself.
Definitely helpful as I work with many patients in hospice with anxiety.
It is also helpful to me ; I have to remember to use it.
Went by too fast for me to do it. was not able to feel better at the end, left hanging with the bad scarey feelings.
moving on to next video for learning more skills.
The content of problem description was very good and clear.
Thank you very much. This has explained so clearly to me the amount of time I am wasting about what will happen next. I absolutely need a way to manage better the actual, real and practical problems in my life, and this awareness can only help me deal with them better. even if the worst case outcome happens, this enables me to feel able to cope with that outcome regardless.
Daring to leave worried thoughts and enter somatic experience takes courage. I appreciate the description of being “addicted” to anxiety – I can see that the culture that I live in supports this, and finding a way beyond this is radical.
Really helpful in my situation dealing with addiction
If there is a way to get a link to this 3part series, I would like to share it with people who are anxious & don’t do Facebook or other social media. Please consider. Thank you 🙏🏼
Thank you! Yes, I am a worryaholic. I do recognize the addictive quality and appreciate you describing the importance of breaking the loop. Procrastination feels like a by product of the worry cycle and hopefully, I can break that habit using these tools.
Interesting. I started to get anxious just thinking. The process makes sense to me.
Just mastering this for me is not easy. I learned the difference better words Fear and anxiety.
I have developed anxiety only in the last few years. I know exactly when & how it started. Panic attacks came out of nowhere & had a snowballing effect on me & then it would be gone & I would be left exhausted & in fear. Luckily, I had a good support system that helped me breathe & live through these. Now, the panic attacks are less but anxiety is constant. I’ve developed certain phobias that I have no idea how I could have never felt in my 40+ years & feel them so intensely now. I’m still trying to figure this out, why me, why now & what next. I love TB & listen to her almost every week. I’m so grateful to her & truly thankful to her for letting us access her words of wisdom for free. THANK YOU 🙏🏼
I’m constantly worried about saying or doing the wrong thing, even though I try not to do that.
I think I have been in this pattern since my daughter was born. she was a trying baby. she was born with the embiblical cord wrapped around her throat 3 times. her embiblical cord was very long and thin.
she was held back for 10 minutes.
she didn’t get enough oxygen. the medical system would not support us in getting help.
so through the years, I have been in constant worry over her.
Now, she is 49 years old and homeless. I have had no support. The marriage only lasted 4.5 yrs. my ex only felt he had yo work and watch TV. the rest was on me.
Family on both sides visited us about 6 times.
I was blamed for the breakdown up. I ended up being betrayed, abandoned, and told by both sides of the family that I was the reason why my kids didn’t have family. even though I willingly gave access.
I had all the issues on my plate. the father and his parent(s) told my children it was my fault.
well, my son passed by ways that are still not clear. controversy was created.
when my daughter chose to give up her, “paid,” apartment andb90% of her possessions, it just about put me under.
we were in a car accident in 2021. all of us; (granddaughter, my daughter and myself) have suffered further mental illness.
I have the looping you talk about. so far medication has not helped
I suffer from going into a type of separation from the current state. I go into thinking about problems I do have. constantly trying to find answers.
Then, I don’t have the energy to carry out what I need to do.
for example; I had someone do some drywall work for me. well, what a mess. that was 4 years ago. I have done some work. until my daughter went on the streets.
My health and mental health has been getting weaker and weaker.
I am tired.
I have noticed that when I am happy, I achieve something or things are going well I start feeding thoughts about the past in which I failed or what I have not done. I managed to create in mind the worse scenario and sabotage the good time I was experiencing.
I found this session most helpful. The three step process is most beneficial, and when you mentioned that the thoughts will come back, this actually freed me up helping me to realise that I am normal. Rather than worrying because the thoughts repeat themselves, you have helped me to work towards de conditioning myself. thank you
I’m afraid of doing the wrong thing or hurting peoples feelings