I love the prompt ‘real but not true’, and had an ‘ah-ha’ moment in regards to how the fear of failure comes directly from self-doubt. Makes sense, but it was the first time I have heard it phrased that way and it really hit home. Understanding the true difference between fear and anxiety has brought much clarity as well. Thank you so much for these valuable teachings! Who would I be without fear? I would be a fully open spirit living in the present moment and relaxing into ‘what is’ instead of what might be. It is a beautiful place!
‘real but not true’ helpful with the offer of compassion to place of pain – fearful, grieving…
‘who would you be if you believed there was nothing wrong with you?’ opens up new possibilities gently, with curiosity and tentative steps toward change
I think I would be a more confident self assured person and have more peace of mind, enjoy life more in the present moment and not procrastinate so much! I’ll definitely be asking my clients this question as I think many people have nothing lacking in them or wrong with them, it’s the belief that they do and lack of self love that causes so much suffering.
I like how the phrase ‘real but not true’ both provides validation for the experience AND helps the client become more aware of their cognitive distortions. It’s similar to the idea in DBT of emotions sometimes being understandable (given life experience) AND not justified for that particular situation.
if i weren’t living in a trance of lack of self-worth, I’d be more than a craftsman, I’d be a poet, I’d be a gardener, I’d read books and I’d write songs, I’d rest knowing I have meaning and I can help.
The real but not true approach seems like a winner to me! I am going to use this immediately and look forward to more. Imagining other outcomes – like who I would want to be – is deeply ingrained in my somatic approach to therapy but this question in the treatment of fear and generalized anxiety is not one I have used before. THANK YOU!
In a way I wouldn’t be who I am today – having faced what I feared most before led me to where I am and I am in a good place – however when it comes up again (the fear of not being good enough, not doing enough, not just being) I sometimes have difficulty remembering how to overcome it…
I would be free to be the unique expression of the Divine that I was created to be…that has been buried under believing soooo many debilitating false beliefs resulting in major depression and loss of Faith…I would be at peace and feel connected rather than disconnected and not good enough.
very thought provoking – a good question to remember when feeling anxious or afraid to help slow the mind & find the courage to turn towards it rather than run away
I would make better use of my time here on earth… saying “yes” to what I truly wanted (and not what others wanted) and “no” to things that didn’t feed my spirit
What a powerful question “Who would you be if you didn’t think something was wrong with you?” is! Plan to share it with my teenage mindfulness class members.
Many thanks!
As I am just getting in touch with BE-ing as a long, yet wonderful life of DO-ing, I feel continuing to discern and lean into BE-ing will open me to more loving kindness and self-compassion. It continues to amaze me how a few short words open and expand my world and glimpses into others.
I’d be open and compassionate to all instead of only those who I didn’t experience a sense of potential failure by engaging with them ! Hope this makes sense..
i. Robinson, Another Field, Elk Grove, CA, USAsays
I would be able to breathe without fear of trying new experiences. Lay down the terrible weight of things. I would be happy to be me. Confident and free to make my choices without the vioces in my head questioning everything. Knowing it’s ok to make a mistake.
You can always try again. Don’t be afraid to try!
So many of my clients, friends, family struggle with the fear that arises from self doubt……as do I and the question ‘who would I be if I didn’t think something was wrong with me’ is such a potentially freeing one. Difficult to answer for some….but with time I know, for me that I would be more courageous, would focus on my potential, would be freer, would be more at ease and more discerning of the things that seem ‘real but not true’
I found that by doing spring forest qigong every day for two years now has helped me so much with fears and with believing who I am. I grew up with the fears of not being enough, not being good enough but now I have such different feelings. I can do things now that I could not have done in the past. I thank you too for the 40 day program of mindfullness which has helped me with anxiety and being able to stop and analyze situations that come up in my life. I see two sides of almost every story I hear and I find that I do not judge anyone anymore. I think of them in the situation they are in. I can see it more clearly now where someone is coming from. Your program of mindfiullness with Jack Kornfield is a wonderful course to do, When I finish it I am going to do it over again because I dont want to miss any of the valuable lessons that are there to help me and anyone else who gets to take the course. I have told others about it. Thank you, Linda
The Divine Goddess that lives within me. I see glimpses of her when I am feeling brave enough to be my best self. Then she hides, remains elusive under the shroud of fear. The fear is the same fear described by Marianne Williamson; I fear my power.
I am always afraid of what might happen in any situation so i have the feeling i am a terrible coward. I am getting old and i dont want to end my life like this. I dont feel free to live the way i like. I would like to be more compassionate. So your offer is looking to me as a great opportunity. Thank you Tara!
I have allowed my adult son to overpower my integrity and honesty to my husband and loving friends. I love my son but I don’t like his behaviour. I’m terrified if I stand up to him which will involve the police…. That something terrible will happen to him. I spoke honestly this morning admitting that my fear runs deeply and has preventing me from right action. And then I see this on my email. Exactly what I need help with. I trust you Tara
My fear comes in waves at times. I think mostly related to anxiety. I had a badly overactive thyroid 20 years ago and never knew when I would collapse. Then 10 years ago I got atrial fibrillation which also caused nervousness. I would like help with anxiety waves. I really enjoyed your talk.
These were aha moments for me. I hadn’t thought of any of this. I have been thinking recently that I am afraid of many things but didn’t realize where it may be coming from. Thank you so much and this is so helpful.
I love the prompt ‘real but not true’, and had an ‘ah-ha’ moment in regards to how the fear of failure comes directly from self-doubt. Makes sense, but it was the first time I have heard it phrased that way and it really hit home. Understanding the true difference between fear and anxiety has brought much clarity as well. Thank you so much for these valuable teachings! Who would I be without fear? I would be a fully open spirit living in the present moment and relaxing into ‘what is’ instead of what might be. It is a beautiful place!
it’s specially challenging to address deep rooted fears and the body pain that comes with it
An authentic human
‘real but not true’ helpful with the offer of compassion to place of pain – fearful, grieving…
‘who would you be if you believed there was nothing wrong with you?’ opens up new possibilities gently, with curiosity and tentative steps toward change
Thank you for this program. I would love to try using the fear reduction strategies with my clients.
I think I would be a more confident self assured person and have more peace of mind, enjoy life more in the present moment and not procrastinate so much! I’ll definitely be asking my clients this question as I think many people have nothing lacking in them or wrong with them, it’s the belief that they do and lack of self love that causes so much suffering.
I like how the phrase ‘real but not true’ both provides validation for the experience AND helps the client become more aware of their cognitive distortions. It’s similar to the idea in DBT of emotions sometimes being understandable (given life experience) AND not justified for that particular situation.
I would be more at peace with myself.
I think I would be a more outgoing person. I would smile more because I would believe that people could like and accept me.
if i weren’t living in a trance of lack of self-worth, I’d be more than a craftsman, I’d be a poet, I’d be a gardener, I’d read books and I’d write songs, I’d rest knowing I have meaning and I can help.
I would be my own role model
The real but not true approach seems like a winner to me! I am going to use this immediately and look forward to more. Imagining other outcomes – like who I would want to be – is deeply ingrained in my somatic approach to therapy but this question in the treatment of fear and generalized anxiety is not one I have used before. THANK YOU!
I would be looking my best, calm and confident and at peace
In a way I wouldn’t be who I am today – having faced what I feared most before led me to where I am and I am in a good place – however when it comes up again (the fear of not being good enough, not doing enough, not just being) I sometimes have difficulty remembering how to overcome it…
Far better able to face challenges with equanimity
I would be free to be the unique expression of the Divine that I was created to be…that has been buried under believing soooo many debilitating false beliefs resulting in major depression and loss of Faith…I would be at peace and feel connected rather than disconnected and not good enough.
Honestly, I have NO idea who I would be without fear but it would be nice to figure out!
I would be unguarded, variously wisely and unwisely vulnerable, with some keen counsel lost. Secure and confident…overconfident!
I’d be leading with full confidence and freedom instead of worrying about what others would think of me if I fail.
very thought provoking – a good question to remember when feeling anxious or afraid to help slow the mind & find the courage to turn towards it rather than run away
I would make better use of my time here on earth… saying “yes” to what I truly wanted (and not what others wanted) and “no” to things that didn’t feed my spirit
What a powerful question “Who would you be if you didn’t think something was wrong with you?” is! Plan to share it with my teenage mindfulness class members.
Many thanks!
A person who can express more love and be more fun to my family
A person more peaceful and at ease.
I would be working on the rewrite of my novel. I wouldn’t care if it wasn’t well received. I would write exactly what I wanted to write.
As I am just getting in touch with BE-ing as a long, yet wonderful life of DO-ing, I feel continuing to discern and lean into BE-ing will open me to more loving kindness and self-compassion. It continues to amaze me how a few short words open and expand my world and glimpses into others.
I would go through my day lighter, with more energy because I wouldn’t be in my head, using energy on useless worry.
I’d be open and compassionate to all instead of only those who I didn’t experience a sense of potential failure by engaging with them ! Hope this makes sense..
A confident woman able to feel free and go wherever I want without anxiety rather than weak and in awe of those that can
I would be at peace. I would be a light and two others.
I’m hoping to find out!
I would be able to breathe without fear of trying new experiences. Lay down the terrible weight of things. I would be happy to be me. Confident and free to make my choices without the vioces in my head questioning everything. Knowing it’s ok to make a mistake.
You can always try again. Don’t be afraid to try!
I will Practice real but not true, Thank you,
I think I would be a kinder person to myself and others.
I like the ” who would you be if you didn’t believe something was wrong with you” I
would definitely love this as a journaling question.
I would be free, I would just be love.
I would be in deep trust with life.
So many of my clients, friends, family struggle with the fear that arises from self doubt……as do I and the question ‘who would I be if I didn’t think something was wrong with me’ is such a potentially freeing one. Difficult to answer for some….but with time I know, for me that I would be more courageous, would focus on my potential, would be freer, would be more at ease and more discerning of the things that seem ‘real but not true’
I would be able to lean in to vulnerability and uncertainty. My authentic self would have greater ability to shine without fear and self doubt.
I found that by doing spring forest qigong every day for two years now has helped me so much with fears and with believing who I am. I grew up with the fears of not being enough, not being good enough but now I have such different feelings. I can do things now that I could not have done in the past. I thank you too for the 40 day program of mindfullness which has helped me with anxiety and being able to stop and analyze situations that come up in my life. I see two sides of almost every story I hear and I find that I do not judge anyone anymore. I think of them in the situation they are in. I can see it more clearly now where someone is coming from. Your program of mindfiullness with Jack Kornfield is a wonderful course to do, When I finish it I am going to do it over again because I dont want to miss any of the valuable lessons that are there to help me and anyone else who gets to take the course. I have told others about it. Thank you, Linda
Truly speaking, no idea. I think I would be wiser, more open to wonderful opportunities and I more often say “yes”.
I’m appreciating the cadence, tone and intentionality of Tara’s voice as she speaks … makes me ask : Who would I be if I slowed down ?
The Divine Goddess that lives within me. I see glimpses of her when I am feeling brave enough to be my best self. Then she hides, remains elusive under the shroud of fear. The fear is the same fear described by Marianne Williamson; I fear my power.
I guess, if I didn’t believe something was wrong with me, I would be much like I was as a small child: bold, curious, confident, loving, enough.
I would be able to say yes to my spirit, to fully step into my life, without hesitation or self-doubt. I would believe in me.
I am always afraid of what might happen in any situation so i have the feeling i am a terrible coward. I am getting old and i dont want to end my life like this. I dont feel free to live the way i like. I would like to be more compassionate. So your offer is looking to me as a great opportunity. Thank you Tara!
I would feel more freedom to enjoy my life.
Thank You,
Kay
I would be a bold, loving, visionary achiever and creator, nothing stopping me or slowing me down.
I have allowed my adult son to overpower my integrity and honesty to my husband and loving friends. I love my son but I don’t like his behaviour. I’m terrified if I stand up to him which will involve the police…. That something terrible will happen to him. I spoke honestly this morning admitting that my fear runs deeply and has preventing me from right action. And then I see this on my email. Exactly what I need help with. I trust you Tara
My fear comes in waves at times. I think mostly related to anxiety. I had a badly overactive thyroid 20 years ago and never knew when I would collapse. Then 10 years ago I got atrial fibrillation which also caused nervousness. I would like help with anxiety waves. I really enjoyed your talk.
These were aha moments for me. I hadn’t thought of any of this. I have been thinking recently that I am afraid of many things but didn’t realize where it may be coming from. Thank you so much and this is so helpful.
Creative, authentic, outrageous, bold
I love this question and will definitely be using it with my clients! Thank you!