When a client struggles with emotional triggers, they may find themselves stuck in cycles of reactivity and overwhelm.
Not only can this be mentally and physically exhausting for your client, but it often has an impact on everyone around them – including those they love the most and hold most dear.
So, in the video below, Ruth Lanius, MD, PhD shares a co-regulation strategy that can help clients and their families better attune to and manage their emotional triggers.
Have a look.
So, let’s start out with how we would work together with their partner. I think it’s really starting with awareness within the client, and then if the client feels safe bringing in the partner and really exploring about what happens within the client when they’re stressed, what kind of response do they have? Do they have a fight-flight response? Do they have a freezing or tonic immobility response or an emotional shutdown response? What I love to ask about are the differences between the client experiences in themselves versus what actually the partner witnesses. Often, they’re very different. Then, we can bring those two sources of knowledge together and really enhance the partner’s understanding, but also the client’s understanding. Then they can work together, right? As the client is working on developing increased awareness of their overwhelming feelings within their brain and body, how may they feel comfortable the partner getting involved in that? Asking them, “What would you feel comfortable your partner pointing out when they see you being overwhelmed? What would be helpful?” Then, often they’ll give some really good feedback and that gives hope to both parties, but also really facilitates that co-regulation, right?
Usually, if there’s children involved, of course, as the two partners become more regulated, what you’ll see is the children will become more regulated as well. I think treating emotion dysregulation in a dysregulated household really should start with the adults, and it’s amazing the impact that can have on the whole family structure.
For more expert strategies on helping clients identify and manage emotional triggers, check out this course featuring Peter Levine, PhD; Shelly Harrell, PhD; Dan Siegel, MD; Resmaa Menakem, MSW, LICSW, SEP; and 22 other top experts.
Now we’d like to hear from you. How do you help clients work with their emotional triggers? Please let us know in the comments below.
A safe experiment costing little, and it can teach practitioners much about the dynamics in the family and home. Not so sure if this extends to the larger family without some careful preparation but I can see how a ripple effect can work.
At the end she reminds me of a comment from Gabor Mate that treating children with ADHD doesn’t work well if only the kids are treated. When the parents are treated, the kids improve very quickly.
any suggestions if the Parents do not get along very well? I just thought about it though I think there would only be one of the parents in the session so the support will still be there on a positive note. From personal experience the support can still be a positive one even with one parent who is willing to change and get help even if the other parent does not want to change and seek help, it can be an example of not being able to change another person but still working on self and being the best parent I can be.
Michelle Chladny…thank you for that comment as that is my situation exactly. I am the only one working so hard to regulate- for me and for my kids. Perhaps if I can regulate and stay regulated more consistently, it will have a ripple effect on my husband as well. Thank you!!