When clients experience anxiety, their first response is often to avoid whatever (or whomever) might be causing it.
But when clients become trapped in a cycle of avoidance, it can keep them from the very activities and people they value most. So how can we help clients see the cost of their avoidance strategies – as well as the benefits of working through their fears to reach their goals?
In the infographic below are four questions you can ask to help guide clients through their fear and anxiety. This is based on the work of Kelly McGonigal, PhD.
Have a look.
Click the image to enlarge
Adapted from Kelly McGonigal, PhDWhen anxiety takes hold, it may cause your client to avoid the activities they most enjoy, or even shy away from the people they hold most dear. But asking clients these four questions can help them move beyond their fear and anxiety.
- 1. What do you lose when you give in to fear?
Your client may find that their fear causes them to miss opportunities, lose independence, or even neglect their relationships. Identifying those meaningful parts of life that fear blocks can be a powerful motivator.
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- 2. What do you gain by choosing the anxiety-provoking option?
Helping clients envision the self-confidence, meaningful relationships, and positive experiences that are often just on the other side of fear can be a key step in shifting their response.
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- 3. What strategies can help you manage the temporary anxiety?
Mindfulness can be particularly effective in helping clients stay grounded in the face of anxiety. You may try strategies such as bringing awareness to the breath or setting a specific intention.
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- 4. How can you acknowledge your own courage?
Facing fear is a major accomplishment. That’s why it can be critical to help your client celebrate their ability to tolerate discomfort, or appreciate their willingness to even try.
(If you’re sharing this infographic, please attribute it to NICABM. We put a lot of work into creating these resources for you. And if you’re sharing this digitally, please link back to this page in your attribution. Thanks!)
If you’d like to print a copy, you can use one of these links:
Now we’d like to hear from you. How do you help clients work through their anxiety? Please let us know in the comments below.
For more expert strategies to help clients face fear and anxiety, check out this course on working with anxiety with Ron Siegel, PsyD.
Any tools to work with clients who are facing really hard and challenging situations like their child end up paraplegic due to a medical neglect surgery.
She has been very anxious for years and now she’s hit rock bottom, given to rumination and having to avoid “feeling” because she has to stay strong to be able to care for the kid.
A wonderful visual tool and reminder of all anxiety takes from us, if we let it.
Thank you for this valuable tool
Thank you for this lovey graphic. I grew my practice during the age of humanistic psychology when somatic therapies became plentiful, and useful to us talk therapists – to learn how to combine body/mind healing. It was and remains a joyful experience for both client and therapist! I spoke conversationally rather then academically and that worked well for a relaxing presence in our sessions. Just want to share a similar-to-nicabm- and-Kelly McGonagal’s- adaptation that is so generously shared here. I ask only 2 stem sentences to be repeated and spoken until all thoughts were expressed. 1) “The good or positive thing about being stuck in this problem is . . . ” and 2) The bad or negative thing about being stuck in this problem is . . .” I acted as recorder with note pad and pen until the client felt satisfied that they/he/she covered every advantage and disadvantage. We then spent a moment physically shaking off the momentum and resulting emotional accumulation of recall, drank some water, and had a discussion of “how was that”, “what stood out”, even “who else needs to hear this” and of course, “what is your body experience right now”. Thanks for asking for a comment. All the best with your continued work. Sincerely, Linda Thomas, LICSW, Rhode Island, Website: lindacollinsthomas.com
Wow Linda – thanx for sharing this simple yet powerful way of working with it. What I do these days is suggest to clients that they gently tap a circle shape around the position of the Thymus gland on the chest when they’re talking about the negative experience (of anything) and explain how it helps to support the biochemistry of stress. Also, massaging the mastibular bone behind the ear, so as to stimulate the vagal nerve system. Like you, I also suggest the physical shaking off (rinsing hands w cold water and shaking energy off helps most people).
Thank you also Allison! I like the circle tapping of the thymus gland area for the positive stimulation I have always benefitted in my work with peer exchanges. Wonder if nicabm would consider “peer exchanges” a workable addition to their certification offerings? I would hate to die (I’m 82 and just retired) with a lot of good knowledge not shared! And the work has kept me young, I do believe.
It’s helpful, thanks for sharing!
Another helpful and insightful conceptual support. Many thanks.
As someone attending therapy and having achieved a fair level of healing – I’m just baffled at this common assumption that fear is.. usually negative and somehow also usually unfounded..
Where is the part about fear being useful information? Potentially our body picking up real danger and threat. I think that’s a pretty important step to miss.
So many patients are getting this cliché of ‘don’t give in to fear, you must overcome fear..’
Fear is meant to keep us safe. Force your way through it at your peril. So often – ‘Change your thoughts’ ends up being – ignore your feelings/instincts.
Most people with anxiety and fear problems have it for very good reasons and it’s usually based on threats that are real in their experience and day to day life – though others without the same vulnerabilities often see those fears as unfounded. It’s not always lingering from a long gone past, in a now safe present.
I think professional trauma therapists should be much more conscious of how they can end up gaslighting patients in this important area.
I have suffered many times due to being talked out of my fears and encouraged into situations that were dangerous for me -but would be safe for other people. People who had not been abused, were not vulnerable, and so don’t get picked out as such, by predators.
Their safety – is not my safety.
I hope this is helpful.
Thank you, Anna. You make an excellent point. What you wrote is extremely helpful! I, too, have had many, many years of therapy. Looking at trauma has been a breakthrough for me, to actually understand why I’ve had so much depression and anxiety in my life. It’s allowed me to have more self compassion for myself, which I need to work on constantly.
Thank you for your comment. I’m glad it’s of help! I think one of the biggest healing steps for me, was navigating that constant assumption that my anxiety is all related to ‘past abuse’ and the damage it caused me, and that now I’m just projecting onto the present.
I guess it makes them feel safe to take this position and is an easy answer. Fortunately I eventually found an amazing therapist who does not do this, or only checks if that’s the case as a matter of diligence.
The harder truth is many of us continue to live in danger, often escalating danger.
Yet we have our trust in ourselves undermined, the feedback is that we can’t trust our fear. I now trust my fear 100% and it’s the best thing that has ever happened me. It’s the golden key I’ve been missing. Finally I can create some safety.
Thank you for the infografic. Much Love, Nigel
Thank you, this is helpful. I will give credit to nicabm. In these times, when selling anxiety is what keeps the news and media cycle thriving, any tools that help people be more mindful about their life choices is helpful and the work of psychology.
Mat’e called this counter will, client CBT does work as they are, as when the questions asked, fully aware of the conscequences an the loss and gains if they could overcome. Working with the next best thing, or a bit of it gradually building up the resilience to the terrible block and feeling the strength of achievement is effective, as these fears are uninvited from the unconscious without no right brain input diluting them to reduce effect is no quick intervention, your infographics help to start building a structured plan that is meaningful to the client and therefore lovely to have in this difficult field of deep abhorrent fear that freezes actions as in ADHD thank you
Thank you so much for this infographic!
Very useful
Laetitia
Thanks, so helpful as always
Your work is very much appreciated and valued!
Best,
Kathy
Thank you for free infographic.
Knowing, that the illustration is an example, I wished, you`d use another because of climate crisis. To encourage someone not to got by plane or car, but to use other climate friendly possibilities or other things, that because of fear are avoided.
Best regards Kitty Voigt, Germany
Thank you for these free resources. I always find them very useful for clients.
Thank you for this very useful tool
Wonderful Tool.
Thank you
Thank you.