Feelings of unworthiness, shame, and self-hatred seem to show up all too often in daily life – we see it in our work, our families, and maybe even experience it ourselves.
But there’s at least one person in the world who’s not especially familiar with such feelings. In fact, he didn’t even know the meaning of the word self-hatred.
Jack Kornfield, PhD, reveals more in the video below, and shares two strategies that can help people heal a negative self-image and learn to love themselves.
Take a look – it’s just over four minutes.
To learn how mindfulness training changes the approach to healing, check out our mindfulness courses.
How have you used mindfulness to deal with self-criticism or other negative feelings? Please share your experience in the comment section below.
I HAVE A MULTI-CULTURAL EXPERTISE. I have experienced self-hatred in Asians, Europeans, First Nations clients, Canadians, Americans of Hispanic and afro backgrounds. This phenomenon is more widespread in women than men. I consider this part of the psychological oppression of women–an internalised conditioning. It does not surprise me, with respect, that Jack Kornfield a white, privileged male is taken in by an incorrect perception and analysis.
Great astute observation!
I think you are ridiculous to mention a white male of privilege is taken in by incorrect perception ana analysis. That is total crap. Just your biases showing. an ignorant statement. Unprivileged, non-white women are equally taken in by incorrect perceptions and analysis. We all are. You should be more mindful and less biased in your statements. I disagree with Kornfields statement as well ,but do not project my issues on to him.
I do beg to differ about self-hatred being cultural bound. People in all cultures (including indigenous cultures) do have the ability to experience aspects of self-hatred, given the ‘right environment’. Terms may differ from culture to culture, when describing the emotions and psychological aspects being experienced. It is therefore, important that a therapist be trained in cross-cultural and multicultural issues that may arise in psychotherapy or other forms of counseling in order to better assist their client.
It would be wonderful to have NICABM interviews that integrate more cultural considerations when discussing applications.
With all due respect, self-blame and its various manifestations are NOT limited to U.S. culture or even to Western culture. The vast majority of cultures world-wide use love-withdrawl and threats of being ostricized as a child-rearing techniques. These techniques are some of the most common means of instilling unworthiness, shame and self-blame in people. The only cultures which do not condone such practices are the various indigenous cultures of the world.
I have watched the video. Being bilingual and bi-cultural myself, I understand how certain concepts may be common and obvious in one culture/language , but not in another. What a privilege to grow up in a culture were the concept of self hatred doesn’t exist.
I recently lost a family member to suicide. A beautiful, bright and talented young woman, 29 years old- who just could not reconcile the gap between the expectations she held of herself and the reality of her life in the moment. In her suicide note, she wrote she “LOATHED” herself.
I think it’s important to look at the ways our culture creates and perpetuates this kind of self destruction. The big metaphor that comes to mind for me is the reality television show – and especially that one with Donald Trump where pronounces : “You’re Fired”. This whole concept of winners and losers, worthy and unworthy. There is something very Puritanical in that, I’m afraid. It really runs deep in the consciousness of this society.
I am curious. What is a brainwave optimization technologist?
This one seemed a bit much, though Dr. Kornfield didn’t mention when this interaction took place. I would find it hard to believe the Dali Lama had never even heard of the concept of self-hatred given how much he must interact with western culture, at the very least through the internet. If this wasn’t a contrived response, then he appeared to be exhibiting a stance of superiority over those who have not achieved such an “enlightened” state.
Mr. Kornfield says…it starts with acknowledgement. I find this to be so true. Although difficult at times, specially when we begin, as we practice it becomes easier to accept our dark moods. After a while of practicing contemplation or self observation, it becomes obvious that all this darkness is not who we really are and we learn to discard it or just to let it dissolve.
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