When we think of spirituality, scriptures, ceremonies, and specific religious practices often come quickly to mind.
But even beyond these rich traditions, spirituality can run deep to engage the entire mind, body, and spirit of each individual person.
Spirituality dictates that we look for and honor the essential humanity in each individual. As practitioners, many of us have the same calling, though we may not see it in spiritual terms.
Some of the most important applications to come from spiritual practices are the ones that don’t require any special expertise.
Watch the video below with Rachel Remen, MD as she shares how the practice of generous listening can have profound results.
Have you had an experience similar to that described by Dr. Remen? Please share a story or leave a comment below.
That’s a smart way of thinikng about it.
Precisely what Carl Rogers taught the world so long ago ~
Thanks so much for this profound and succinct message…..trhe most important one to guide us to become the compassionate listeners we need to be as we effortlessly hold each up.
I would call this type of listening ‘Holding a Space’. It’s pretty close to practicing unconditional love. “It doesn’t matter what I think, what my views are. I Hold a Space for you and receive your Truth.”
“What Are You Experiencing?” (.org) is a question which easily leads to deeper authentic communications also.
Yes, the world would be different if we practice this.
I was taught this skill as “heart-centered” listening. The theory being that everything and everyone are exactly as they should be. That is a powerful truth! because based on all that came before, it is absolutely true!
A very profound message in this short video. Too often the monkey mind is running away and we are not listening. How difficult it can be to just simply listen. Thanks for reminding me to just listen generously.
I have taken 6 of Dr. Alan Wolfelt’s classes in Fort Collins, CO and have a certiificate for 150 hours of bereavement training.
I no longer volunteer at Hospice. I was diagnosed with brain cancer thee years ago. The tumor was quite large and involved my vision on my left side. I can no longer drive. An LCSW at hospice recommended getting a couple of CDs from Bellaruth Naperstak to help me when I get anxious. I am a huge fan now! IWhen I got. Your email, Was very interested to learn even more!.
Romance could be of a great deal of distinct vaitieres, anddeciding on the adult intimate romantic relationship web world-wide-web site accordingly is critical.You could possibly uncover internet sites which may very verywell be intended for authentic partnership, which maypossibly nicely deliver about associations. Then it’s possible you’ll figure out folks that may offer you a probabilityto go on casual dates, expertise illicit affairs, a singlecertain evening stands, no strings partnership and more! Within the event you want to developassured which you arise throughout the correct courting stage outof affairs you then completely need to select the world-wide-web web sites accordingly much as well.Various net-web-sites have diverse vaitieres of folks looking for to socialize.
My husband and I had a rare opportunity a number of years ago to spend an evening in Scottsdale, AZ with a group listening and sharing with Dr. Remen and 2 other amazing women, Gladys Taylor McGarey, MD and Marjorie Shaevitz, MSSW. Dr. R’s book, My Grandfather’s Blessing, had just come out and I treasure my signed copy from that sweet evening. It was a tough time for us. I had recently been diagnosed with complex pts and was directing a politically challenged recovery program in public funded behavioral health…weary and deeply concerned about the future. We left that evening lifted up, with renewed hope and belief in the power of service..and determined to find answers for healing the pts. Done!
Thankyou for this opportunity 12 years later to say thankyou again for the compassionate listening, holding, hearing, caring…..healing! Looking forward to Wednesday and more!
Thank you, Dr Remen, for sharing your exquisite Be-ing and Presence. Thank you, also, for putting into language what I still [yet?!!] struggle with in describing what I bring to teaching the experience and process of Listening. [my struggle is the describing, not the teaching!] I have enormous compassion for medical and therapeutic professionals whose work is assumed to lead to resolution, to cure, to…’fixing’ the something which is suffering. How challenging it must be to hold the paradox of knowing-how-to-problem-solve with Just-Listening, Just-Being-in-Presence, Just-Being-from-Presence. How challenging to understand that “failure to fix” becomes All About Me, rather than very much About You. Equally challenging to discern the myriad ways that closing down interferes with healing on all of its levels. It seems to me that implicit in Compassionate Listening is the acceptance of one’s humanity, one’s human-ness, one’s humane-ness. And one’s limitations.
I would posit that without the ability to Listen Compassionately to one’s Self, one is unable to Listen Compassionately to another. I, and my heart, are awaiting your session this week.
Daniel Siegel writes that being mindfull leads you to follow what is emotionally charged at the moment for some disorders like PTSD, Anxiety or depression. The client dictates by the triggers active at this moment.
From a clients standpoint, which I have been in the past, we could care less about spirituality.
We want you to invest in our healing and not be cold as ice or all theory. We want you to care and want us to heal quickly.
Next we want URGENCY, URGENCY
We are suffering and want you to challenge us and require us to have some skills to practice on our own. By getting us to take action you have moved us from any victim behavior to active participant in healing.
Give handouts with simple skills, like my breathing track with instructions.
The mind is moved to action by small concrete ideas or practice skills in this moment. The mind does not motivate itself to action from abstract ideas of healing or therapies.
Where are the statistics, the results. What works best for PTSD or C-PTSD? How long does a healing take in general?
Who heals best and why?
What is the hardest trauma to heal? I would say young boys raped by a pedophile over a period of time. You do not see any of them without a haunted life of misery.
What personality traits keep some from even Trying?
The total disregard for exercise in controlling levels of cortisol and adrenaline along with flushing the body or purifies needs to be addressed. Accomplishment can be linked with the brain as the body excels in an aerobic condition.
Now that is mind/body input not listening. if you’re not listening to your clients, are you really practicing your trade?
Why doesn’t the therapeutic establishment start a ten minute program in schools to teach mindfulness. Teach kids how to apply it. Why do we not explain what happiness is and how to attain it. Rick Hamson says it lights up in the prefrontal context just like when we meditate. That is when the ego is beneath and the right creative side is engaged without thought to this moment. The parasympathetic nervous system is activated as we are calm without doubt or fear.
Hanson says life should be lived with the parasympathetic as the dominant position with times of activation of the sympathetic side for sports or rigorous play or work. Mindfulness accomplishes this, so why do we not start early with kids?
Marty: I hear what you write about the practical skills for cognitive/emotional/neurological/spiritual self-regulation — which you describe below as needed for healing. Great summary, and acknowledgement of Rick Hanson.
I do think that some helpful tools exist which address all 4 of these territories, such as one that invites us to see the deeper need under the words/behavior of “other” person who is triggering our disturbance. This deeper “seeing” can calm us and create a harmony where there has been dissonance. There are ways of working with other as self, and vice-versa, which are psycho-therapeutically and spiritually healing, not “woo-woo” at all, but practical tools for ameliorating the suffering you describe. These courses, and all our trainings, give us many tools which clients can use to connnect with their own sense of spiritual — not ours.
Also, I’m interested in this “breathing track with instructions” which you describe in your comment. What track are you referring to? Sounds good. Can you share that information with us? I too find such things helpful for myself and my clients. Margaret
Thank you and God bless you, for this deeply true, cornerstone piece of the doctor-patient relationship, and the heart of loving communication between any two people!
Agree with Amy. I think the point made in the clip is that too often we are thinking about other things instead of listening. Perhaps psychotherapists are better at turning down the judging, planning voice that so often blocks our ability to truly connect with others. Spirituality is ultimately about connecting with another. This is a good reminder.
It is not WHAT we share, but THAT we share and with WHOM we share so we CONNECT. That is Spitituality. Connection to an essence to truth and what is true for another.
In the wake of the tragic shooting in Aurora Colorado, I wonder if Jame’s life would have played out any differently had he been exposed to “generous listening?” Perhaps it is the responsibility of each of us to practice giving this gift in our lives. What a different world it might be.
This all sounds good, but aren’t we simply re-labling good and trusted Rogerian person-centred values here?
Agreed, Laurent – I’m shocked at this clip – it seems to suggest that “Generous Listening” was some new concept. I do hope there is more to the full presentation than this “highlight”.
This is the very basic, starting point for attending to another person.
Looking forward to hear the full interview.
I didn’t hear a claim that there’s a new therapeutic concept being forwarded here. The clip is clearly introduced as “how to improve spiritual communication.” Rogerian analysis can be spiritual–or not–as can any counseling model. I’ve experienced talk therapy in which the therapist (a credentialed pastoral counselor, selected because I wanted a spiritual element) seemed to be genuinely, professionally listening but not GENEROUSLY listening as is described here. (Not complaining–I learned some things from hearing what I had to say.)
This clip reminds me of something from Dan Siegel’s *Mindsight*, what one of his patients called the need to “feel felt” by another person, a “vital connection” that creates a “palpable sense of connection and aliveness. This is what happens when our minds meet” (I don’t have the page number because I’m quoting from my Kindle, but it’s chapter 1). One can feel listened to without feeling “felt.”