Thank you Tara. Having had the few years with a much quieter inner critic, it resurfaced a couple of weeks ago with a lot of vicious and harsh attacks. As I practice mindfulness, I was able to get some dis identification from it at times, and to see the stress, and dissatisfaction that had prompted such reactivity. Then to feel some of the sadness and grief behind it. Your video reminded me of this, and the ongoing need to practice mindfulness, and hold myself in compassion- especially the vicious, reactive, hurting part.
When I asked myself what’s happening inside, I experienced the sadness, the concern, the worry. I noticed that asking the question, “can I be with this with kindness”, was helpful to generate kindness to meet this experience, perhaps, more so than just my intention to bring kindness or telling myself to meet my experience with kindness. I think I will share this question with my clients to help them better turn their own inner kindness towards their suffering.
Maria Smith, Student, Fredericksburg , VA, USAsays
There is a softening that allows whatever is presented to flood me. And it can be overwhelming. I find myself wanting to rescue me out of the overwhelming feeling. And because of this intensity I have to work harder at activating self-compassion. It takes a radical act of self-acceptance and trust.
When we tried to bring kindness with some, they take it as we are vulnerable.
When a counsellor shows empathy with their clients they feel connected with the cou sellor.
Toni Cordero, Another Field, Kalamazoo , MI, USAsays
I experienced anxiety when I paused to look inside. I wasn’t aware it was there, but in that short time I realized that I carry an undercurrent of this constantly. I couldn’t get to kindness. It stood as an impenetrable wall. Any suggestions? Just keep at it?
I recognize that I am actively practicing this..watching this video reminded me of a series of incidents last week..first a conflict with a client regarding a prescription that was unclear…he was demanding, I felt unworthy that I made a mistake and got defensive. I ended up losing the client, cancelled on a Cubs game event with good friend ..and basically felt shitty rest of the week. Then I realized this pattern ..and came out of the trance with kindness towards myself and the client. I called him and left message that I would mail his correct prescription..and became kind to myself..with a commitment that if/when..I make a mistake in future..I will act kindly towards all (myself certainly included).
Thanks Tara..for reinforcing and restating these steps in a simple way.
When I look at myself with compassion, there is a relaxing softness in my body, smiles come easily!
Thank you for sharing, looking forward to the next video
Hi Tara, Thanks for this teaching. My feeling was of emptiness, a sense of fear. Could this be a fear of letting go of the habit of unworthiness and doing something different, in this case using compassion? This looks like the practice we all need at this time. Looking forward to the next session.
This video caught me at a time of great distress in my life. I have been deeply depressed and several hours earlier fell into a panic attack. I have been living close to the edge of panic for months now, falling in and out of extremely uncomfortable anxiety oscillating with despondency and despair.
As I watched this video I felt a loneliness, a yearning for a companion… and then I began to stroke my own hair and face. My life is far from how I would want to be living it, and yet beating myself up for that only takes it further away. Being kind to myself right now, as difficult as it can be, I am increasingly recognising is the only way I could have any semblance of peace, joy and contentment in my life.
I have found it hard to sit through and listen to any positive work as the voices of self-hate have been so loud that it has all seemed so pointless. Yet I am glad that for 10 minutes at least I could pause, uncross my arms and let this in for a moment.
Eileen Schongold, Social Work, Bala Cynwyd, PA, USAsays
Eileen, retired social work.
I felt that I have a right to be my best friend and that my imperfections and mistakes are all part of my humanity. I am going to nurture the baby girl inside me who was never truly loved for being who she actually is. Being Eileen not super Eileen is what I will strive for.
For me it wAs exciting to realize that my compassion for a friend feeling her way to adjusting to her new status as a widow and all that entails opened my heart to see my own wonderful, soft, center.
Thanks Tara. I chose to be with my anxiety with kindness and it made me smile. Rather than hate myself for being this way. I’m taking baby steps at the moment to be my own best friend to do what I need to do to heal abandonment, abuse, betrayal, rejection and hatred from my family and “friends”. I am giving myself the unconditional acceptance and time I need to release pain frustration anger disappointment to be transformed into forgiveness of myself and others. To sit in such a vulnerable state takes strength as what comes up is the dark night of the self.
I acknowledged my anxiety and indifference towards life and it felt less like I was judging myself,and more like an observation;which does not induce the discomfort of judgement.
Forgiveness! I need to seek deep inside myself to forgive myself for imperfections, and give myself permission to forgive others. I like to fix things, i’m A mom that loves deeply but this may not be mine to fix.
Warmth and peace in my heart and gut. A reminder Tara of all your lessons. I thank you. This video is yet another reminder to practice more often to take me faster and deeper into being my own best soothing and loving friend and guide.
Mindful self-compassion changed my life. I was introduced to it by local prCtioners who also introduced me to your offerings. This video is so succinct and tender and compelling. Bravo
For me it felt like the me inside was so moved and hugged me from within, don’t know how else to describe it, but didn’t last long, thank you Tara as always your teachings heal my inner self.
This was a timely reminder to be my best friend and it became easier to stay with the emotional pain that gradually eased off and some warmth and expansion with light energy of hope and empowerment came through.
Self compassion is a very powerful tool. I need to implement it more in my life. Would be great to couple it with the inner critic. So, whenever the nagging critic starts chatting that it triggers the self compassion to kick in.
Thank you for reminding me that I can do, that I am enough and worth it. ?
This could not have come at a better time. Its 2:30 am, and I just woke up in a panic attack from a recent traumatic event in my life. This really helped me to understand I really need to be as kind to myself as I am to others, and I can be my own best friend. Thank you so much for this kind message of hope!
I immediately felt a relaxing of the tension I was carrying in my body. I felt more secure, a bit stronger, and that I had more power- the tension carried a strong charge of disempowerment, and I realise the tension in my muscles was a way of armouring myself against the pain/fear/ anxiety, yet it distorts my body and it distorts the energy and life force I have access to.
Thank you SO MUCH, Tara! This first video was done extremely well! I was reminded that I vascillate between showing compassion to myself and that of self judgment. I was judging my physical self just before I accessed this video..so it was timely! Yet within the past year or two I have started to tune in to the concept of self compassion. In fact because I’m such a visual person I have purchased two items, one a greeting card that is beautiful and titled Compassion, the other is a stone with the word ‘compassion’ engraved on it. It’s place in my home is on a coffee table between two places where I invite myself and others to join me for connection. I am one of those people who does best by giving myself reminders on a regular basis. I talk about worthiness and compassion frequently with others…so that this video really resonated with me. It is a comfortable way to face self acceptance… To practice self love! I thank you again for reaching out to all of us with important guidance and support! Janne
It was great , such a lovely caring voice.
I totally understand and agree with u , I’m going through a real tuff time right now and ur video just reminded me that I need to focus more on myself right now and try not to allow the negative thoughts to destroy my heart and my soul , I’m doing it to myself that’s what u reminded me to change my mind set to a more positive one and then the good things will follow xx thanks so much # can’t wait for the next one xx
When I did the mindfulness exercise my harshest thoughts melted a little. I understand I am so hard on myself and appreciate now that I have learnt as a younger person that self care and resting is laziness and selfish – changing that pattern isnt easy..
I’ve struggled with and ‘worked with’ for many years the harsh judge, the inner critic that turns in on herself, wanting to obliterate myself. It has mostly quietened. However, the past few days it’s come back with a vengeance, giving that judge more fuel to beat me up. Your video appeared on Facebook at just the right time. You reminded me of self compassion. I needed a compassionate friend, I wept when you reminded me to offer that to myself. I felt the pain at the root of my heart. Thank you.
My feeling was extreme sadness; heavy chest and belly. My throat tightened (always this chakra for me), and then I felt a hollowness, almost fear…
Thank you for this so very much.
I notice an initial train of thought of foolishness and weakness, every time I remember to apply this concept to any repeating pattern that crops up. “How’s noticing and identifying what’s happening, with kindness and without judging going to heal you?” Like it seems too passive, too non chalant. It is hard to argue with that logic if one already depressed, and this initial thought of foolishness takes more traction. In better moods, it lasts only an instant, and non judgmental kindness can be applied.
Thank you Tara. Having had the few years with a much quieter inner critic, it resurfaced a couple of weeks ago with a lot of vicious and harsh attacks. As I practice mindfulness, I was able to get some dis identification from it at times, and to see the stress, and dissatisfaction that had prompted such reactivity. Then to feel some of the sadness and grief behind it. Your video reminded me of this, and the ongoing need to practice mindfulness, and hold myself in compassion- especially the vicious, reactive, hurting part.
When I asked myself what’s happening inside, I experienced the sadness, the concern, the worry. I noticed that asking the question, “can I be with this with kindness”, was helpful to generate kindness to meet this experience, perhaps, more so than just my intention to bring kindness or telling myself to meet my experience with kindness. I think I will share this question with my clients to help them better turn their own inner kindness towards their suffering.
There is a softening that allows whatever is presented to flood me. And it can be overwhelming. I find myself wanting to rescue me out of the overwhelming feeling. And because of this intensity I have to work harder at activating self-compassion. It takes a radical act of self-acceptance and trust.
A flow of tenderness that open my heart.
I found that Self relationship came first and prepare the ground for futher steps.
Thanks!
This is tough – to become a true self and not a false self and bringing meaning into life is challenging. This will take some time.
Im not sure but there was some compassion. And an easing.
When we tried to bring kindness with some, they take it as we are vulnerable.
When a counsellor shows empathy with their clients they feel connected with the cou sellor.
I took a deep breath as I, without thinking put my arms across my chest as if I was hugging myself..very calming and tender…thanks!
I experienced anxiety when I paused to look inside. I wasn’t aware it was there, but in that short time I realized that I carry an undercurrent of this constantly. I couldn’t get to kindness. It stood as an impenetrable wall. Any suggestions? Just keep at it?
I recognize that I am actively practicing this..watching this video reminded me of a series of incidents last week..first a conflict with a client regarding a prescription that was unclear…he was demanding, I felt unworthy that I made a mistake and got defensive. I ended up losing the client, cancelled on a Cubs game event with good friend ..and basically felt shitty rest of the week. Then I realized this pattern ..and came out of the trance with kindness towards myself and the client. I called him and left message that I would mail his correct prescription..and became kind to myself..with a commitment that if/when..I make a mistake in future..I will act kindly towards all (myself certainly included).
Thanks Tara..for reinforcing and restating these steps in a simple way.
stilled my racing thoughts for just a moment.
When I look at myself with compassion, there is a relaxing softness in my body, smiles come easily!
Thank you for sharing, looking forward to the next video
I was okay with it as I have already done that.
I felt peaceful s it allowed me to look deeper and to start to realize I give so much and often forget me
I was moved to tears and love for myself and I think the word “Kindness” is key, thank you
Hi Tara, Thanks for this teaching. My feeling was of emptiness, a sense of fear. Could this be a fear of letting go of the habit of unworthiness and doing something different, in this case using compassion? This looks like the practice we all need at this time. Looking forward to the next session.
I started to smile. My legs and arms relaxed. My breathing got deeper. I was looking at myself as a friend.
Thanks for your service of mindfulness!
This video caught me at a time of great distress in my life. I have been deeply depressed and several hours earlier fell into a panic attack. I have been living close to the edge of panic for months now, falling in and out of extremely uncomfortable anxiety oscillating with despondency and despair.
As I watched this video I felt a loneliness, a yearning for a companion… and then I began to stroke my own hair and face. My life is far from how I would want to be living it, and yet beating myself up for that only takes it further away. Being kind to myself right now, as difficult as it can be, I am increasingly recognising is the only way I could have any semblance of peace, joy and contentment in my life.
I have found it hard to sit through and listen to any positive work as the voices of self-hate have been so loud that it has all seemed so pointless. Yet I am glad that for 10 minutes at least I could pause, uncross my arms and let this in for a moment.
Thank you. I cried.
I’m very expienced in accepting and loving myself –
https://lifesrichtradingblog.home.blog/2019/01/17/an-enterprising-life/
but I have friends who really struggle.
A sense of momentary ease and calm.
Eileen, retired social work.
I felt that I have a right to be my best friend and that my imperfections and mistakes are all part of my humanity. I am going to nurture the baby girl inside me who was never truly loved for being who she actually is. Being Eileen not super Eileen is what I will strive for.
Dear Tara, You are one of the few who one can trust is real. Thank you!
For me it wAs exciting to realize that my compassion for a friend feeling her way to adjusting to her new status as a widow and all that entails opened my heart to see my own wonderful, soft, center.
Thanks Tara. I chose to be with my anxiety with kindness and it made me smile. Rather than hate myself for being this way. I’m taking baby steps at the moment to be my own best friend to do what I need to do to heal abandonment, abuse, betrayal, rejection and hatred from my family and “friends”. I am giving myself the unconditional acceptance and time I need to release pain frustration anger disappointment to be transformed into forgiveness of myself and others. To sit in such a vulnerable state takes strength as what comes up is the dark night of the self.
I acknowledged my anxiety and indifference towards life and it felt less like I was judging myself,and more like an observation;which does not induce the discomfort of judgement.
Forgiveness! I need to seek deep inside myself to forgive myself for imperfections, and give myself permission to forgive others. I like to fix things, i’m A mom that loves deeply but this may not be mine to fix.
Warmth and peace in my heart and gut. A reminder Tara of all your lessons. I thank you. This video is yet another reminder to practice more often to take me faster and deeper into being my own best soothing and loving friend and guide.
Mindful self-compassion changed my life. I was introduced to it by local prCtioners who also introduced me to your offerings. This video is so succinct and tender and compelling. Bravo
For me it felt like the me inside was so moved and hugged me from within, don’t know how else to describe it, but didn’t last long, thank you Tara as always your teachings heal my inner self.
This was a timely reminder to be my best friend and it became easier to stay with the emotional pain that gradually eased off and some warmth and expansion with light energy of hope and empowerment came through.
Self compassion is a very powerful tool. I need to implement it more in my life. Would be great to couple it with the inner critic. So, whenever the nagging critic starts chatting that it triggers the self compassion to kick in.
Thank you for reminding me that I can do, that I am enough and worth it. ?
This could not have come at a better time. Its 2:30 am, and I just woke up in a panic attack from a recent traumatic event in my life. This really helped me to understand I really need to be as kind to myself as I am to others, and I can be my own best friend. Thank you so much for this kind message of hope!
I experienced a softening, releasing in the muscles, relaxation in the body.
I felt peace and acceptance and compassion and a “tingle” of new hope… a softening and lightening of my spirit.
Sadness but it needed to come out
I immediately felt a relaxing of the tension I was carrying in my body. I felt more secure, a bit stronger, and that I had more power- the tension carried a strong charge of disempowerment, and I realise the tension in my muscles was a way of armouring myself against the pain/fear/ anxiety, yet it distorts my body and it distorts the energy and life force I have access to.
I sighed, my shoulders dropped, and I felt a great sense of relief.
my breath deepened and my mood immediately lightened.
Tension leaves my body & l feel more at ease
Thank you SO MUCH, Tara! This first video was done extremely well! I was reminded that I vascillate between showing compassion to myself and that of self judgment. I was judging my physical self just before I accessed this video..so it was timely! Yet within the past year or two I have started to tune in to the concept of self compassion. In fact because I’m such a visual person I have purchased two items, one a greeting card that is beautiful and titled Compassion, the other is a stone with the word ‘compassion’ engraved on it. It’s place in my home is on a coffee table between two places where I invite myself and others to join me for connection. I am one of those people who does best by giving myself reminders on a regular basis. I talk about worthiness and compassion frequently with others…so that this video really resonated with me. It is a comfortable way to face self acceptance… To practice self love! I thank you again for reaching out to all of us with important guidance and support! Janne
It was great , such a lovely caring voice.
I totally understand and agree with u , I’m going through a real tuff time right now and ur video just reminded me that I need to focus more on myself right now and try not to allow the negative thoughts to destroy my heart and my soul , I’m doing it to myself that’s what u reminded me to change my mind set to a more positive one and then the good things will follow xx thanks so much # can’t wait for the next one xx
When I did the mindfulness exercise my harshest thoughts melted a little. I understand I am so hard on myself and appreciate now that I have learnt as a younger person that self care and resting is laziness and selfish – changing that pattern isnt easy..
A sense of peace…..and a reminder to keep moving forward in my recovery, regardless of how I feel…..
I’ve struggled with and ‘worked with’ for many years the harsh judge, the inner critic that turns in on herself, wanting to obliterate myself. It has mostly quietened. However, the past few days it’s come back with a vengeance, giving that judge more fuel to beat me up. Your video appeared on Facebook at just the right time. You reminded me of self compassion. I needed a compassionate friend, I wept when you reminded me to offer that to myself. I felt the pain at the root of my heart. Thank you.
I felt a feeling of hope.
The angst I was feeling softened and became more bearable.
I certainly felt calmer. Being calmer enabled me to look differently internally, which is essential for my self-growth. Thank you. Veronica.
My feeling was extreme sadness; heavy chest and belly. My throat tightened (always this chakra for me), and then I felt a hollowness, almost fear…
Thank you for this so very much.
I notice an initial train of thought of foolishness and weakness, every time I remember to apply this concept to any repeating pattern that crops up. “How’s noticing and identifying what’s happening, with kindness and without judging going to heal you?” Like it seems too passive, too non chalant. It is hard to argue with that logic if one already depressed, and this initial thought of foolishness takes more traction. In better moods, it lasts only an instant, and non judgmental kindness can be applied.