[858] Radical Self-Compassion PLC 1 Confirmed [Tara Brach]

Part 1

Feelings of Unworthiness

Part 2

Silence Self-Judgment

Part 2

Silence Self-Judgment

Part 3

Shift out of Blame

Part 3

Shift out of Blame

How to Overcome Feeling Unworthy and Undeserving

What happened when you tried to bring kindness to what you were experiencing during the video?

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1,248 Comments

Ginny Legere, Other, CA says

Softness, fullness. Calm and self love.

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Marie Collin, Another Field, CA says

If I die now my regret will be that I worried too much for everything, even if I am considered by the outside world as a positive successful and very kind person. And what I experienced after watching the first video is how can I go from seventy to eighty without this unnecessary burden of anxiety in order to feel “really” free even if I believe I very much liked myself all these years.

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Philippa Henley, Counseling, GB says

I felt tearful, vulnerable and held.

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Elizabeth Mccann, Counseling, GB says

lots of sadness comes up and realization of how tired I am.

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Linda Hirsch, Psychology, Wayland, MA, USA says

Tara, I’m presently immersed in MMTCP; this additional resource material is appreciated. In this moment of practicing self-kindness, I am feeling a softening of feelings, a release of judgement and an opening towards self-kindness. My wings are spreading…
Your mantra, “This too.” has been embodied and is being shared
in loving ways. Your personal narrative, like that of Jack, Anne Cushman and so many other masters and mentors, is deeply inspirational. May you continue to be well. Namaste.??‍?

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Dawn Talbot, Marriage/Family Therapy, West Jodan, UT, USA says

I’m not sure how to explain what happened. I felt a motion in the pit of my stomach but when I thought kindly it faded. I also felt strange dull pain in my chest. That didn’t go away with kindness but eyes watered a bit. Like I said it’s hard to explain but a very different type of experience. I’m looking forward to the next video.

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Chantal Carrier, Another Field, CA says

Sadness and hope

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Pattie Pryma, Nursing, CA says

I realized how tired I was living a life constantly feeling unworthy.

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Ann Macdonald, Another Field, GB says

Thank you for sharing your experiential wisdom. I can resonate with almost everything you say. I started the path to consciously making myself my own best friend over 30 years ago – and it was one of the most beneficial things I ever learned! I’m happy loving myself now! Worthy of the effort!

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Janie M, Coach, Mamaroneck, NY, USA says

What happened? Sadness. And anger. I am in the 4th act so I can often go to the place of forgiveness. But I am also afraid that I won’t have enough time to do – from this new place of acceptance and self-love – the things I want to do from this lovely place. That I will find myself at the end still feeling less than. I have worked on it for so long and do have moments of complete joy and understanding, spiritual connection. But then I open my eyes and all the tasks/work are staring at me. I need a 48 hr day. SIGH. . .

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Jen Waterman, Psychotherapy, Portland, ME, USA says

When I had the thought of “how to bring kindness to” my feeling of “not enough”, I felt much lighter as if my body said, “This is the right path”. “How” conjures my curiosity. “Kindness” conjures a gentleness close to compassion which makes it feel safer to approach the critical, judging, fearful, shame based part of me that says “there is something wrong with me that I am not doing or being enough”. Thank you, Tara. I look forward to video 2.

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William Henry Gonzalez, Other, Portland, OR, USA says

I started getting a feeling of higher self-esteem. My thoughts are filled with positivity. I also get a feeling of happiness and became more interested.

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Lynn Bowen, Another Field, Sebastopol, CA, USA says

I felt a sense of happiness which was weird but felt good all at the same time. I also felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and head.

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Chivi Osto, Other, CA says

Sadness,,,,,,,,,,,

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Sangree Froelicher, Another Field, Portland, OR, USA says

Thank you for the video. I often have a sense of unworthiness. It is not always in the forefront, sometimes lurking in the background. But when I reflect on experiences throughout my week, I can tell I am reacting/coming from a place of not-good-enough or deeply flawed. Pausing throughout the day to check my inner landscape is helpful — as was your exercise in this video. I have an apple watch, and I am going to set a reminder to do this inner check exercise throughout my work-day to be more intentional with these two wings of awareness. I look forward to the next video.

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Elizabeth Sceneay, Nursing, AU says

I was able to drill down to feelings i had been ignoring. I allowed them peace and it didnt feel like the usual battle to keep it in.

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Cathy Gillman, Counseling, Penn Valley, CA, USA says

Thank you so much for reminding me again to be my “own best friend!” Compassion softens the hard edges of my self criticizer!

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May Toh, Counseling, MY says

Anxious heart was embraced by compassionate and comforting hands. I was feeling comforted in the midst of anxiousness.

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Amy Connor, Other, Austin , TX, USA says

Prior to this vid, something happened in my life that brought many internal pains to a head. I was suffering almost nonstop while attempting to carry on as usual. I sought ought the help of a gifted counselor. In her presence I felt welcome to relive my suppressed pains ( not all, but significant traumatic moments). Revealing my hurt self allowed me to feel compassion toward myself. Previously I took on the responsibility of my ‘tormentors’. The counselors vision, unspoken acted as a sieve through which I strained my memories. From past experience, I understand that this sense of freedom from guilt may be transitory, but I am hoping not. When I listened to the vid, it felt like a massage, an emotional confirmation of my new skin.

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David L, Counseling, Ojai, CA, USA says

When I called forth the two wings, I immediately felt relaxed, peaceful and self forgiveness. I look forward to more practice being my own best friend.

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Kisha Kelly, Psychotherapy, Union City , TN, USA says

Connecting to my own humanity ultimately the importance of forgiveness for my own imperfections. Always been able to connect with clients that felt this “never good enough” feeling I carry with me. As I work with others struggling with this I become a little more freed from my own inter critic.
Thanks,
Kisha Kelly, LCSW

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Margaret Hudson, Exercise Physiology, GB says

A feeling of softening inwardly and more understanding of myself. Being kinder to myself.

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Alice Elias, Teacher, San Francisco, CA, USA says

I saw fear. I felt fear. I told fear, “It’s ok, I understand.” I hugged my fearful self. I then felt that I could apply for a job I’ve had the opportunity to apply for.
Fear can stop me all too often. Thank you for this technique. Practice, practice, practice, that’s the key for me.

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Daniele Erville, Another Field, San Francisco, CA, USA says

The feelings became easier to bear. Softer. I feel I have an ally in myself. A sense of slowing down.

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Marie Jones, Counseling, GB says

I sensed a warmth rising in my core, a sense of being ok.

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Diane Bader-Anderson, Psychotherapy, West Palm Beach, FL, USA says

I had a sense of calm and validation.

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Robyn Souza, Other, Moss Beach, CA, USA says

I have always been afraid to “take the drop.” Right now, that’s a couple things. Quitting cannabis, a substance I have long-used to cope with uncertainty, is one. Even stopping long enough to ask how I feel before smoking is a delay I almost can’t bear. Except lately I have been able to take that small step, once, then a couple times, then a couple more.
Another big change I am terrified to make is re-entering the workforce, where even approaching “friendlies” for an informational interview is difficult, let alone trying to convince a stranger my imperfect work experience is “a great fit!” Here too, I make progress, though halting and a million times harder than it needs to be.
I support myself with many healing strategies, and am familiar with your work and philosophy. Looking forward to what I can learn from this series. Thank you.

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Vickie Miy, Other, Fort Branch , IN, USA says

I have always felt unworthy for my mother. I have a little brother that is close to perfect in her eyes. I am 68 and she is 88 and she has always corrected me on everything and made me feel un worthy in her eyes. I have three wonderful kids and 10 wonderful grandkids and it is such a struggle to live. I loved your first video and will continue to read and pray and try hard. I am lying in bed now trying to get up. Thank you God and thank you

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- Vickie M, Other, Fort Branch , IN, USA says
  
  I meant from my mother, sorry still correcting myself as always! My paragraph it’s not perfect and I am always feeling the need to be perfect.
  
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- Ilene Lion, Other, Stamford, CT, USA says
  
  Hi Tara, first I will say thank-yo and Nicabm for all the fine work you are doing on behalf of so many suffering with mental health issues.
  I could relate to everything you said in the video , and then some. Because it gets the wheels spinning.
  But in this moment, after having had a wonderful kundalini practice. I’ m now sitting on my patio surrounded by Mother Nature and everything “ should” feel right.
  Ive never said this before because I try and keep trying. You know the trustworthy tool box. But something darn it is missing. Perhaps that something is not a thing at all. Perhaps it’s me that is missing. And missing my not yet lived life.
  I wish there was an easier way to unravel and let it all go. I’ve been trying the better part of my 68 years.
  I understand so much of what you share. But I can’t seem to get out of my own way. I know I’m holding back from being healthfully engaged in life. I am also so many things to so many people. And yet I hold myself back from living the life, that’s seemingly at my fingertips. I I feel as if there are these 2 forces that repelling each other within and outside of me. And I can’t set myself free. The common sense side of me understands and feels the freedom and joy I feel, when I am connected to the “ outside” world. Moments of aliveness and being fully engaged in the moment. It doesn’t get much better than that sense of being fully alive and engaged.
  But that’s not where I live. I am guarded, sensitive, often overwhelmed by the world we live in. And it makes me sad. I can feel my heart sinking all too often. And I sometimes feel like I am going to drown in my grief.
  I long to set myself free from the constraints of my mind. It does not serve me well.
  But I seem unable thus far to be the person I long to be.
  I don’t feel good enough. Forget good enough. I don’t feel that I am enough. You might ask, enough for whom. What would being enough mean to me?
  I can’t answer that. It’s such a big question mark in my life. But sometimes I feel so small and insignificant. What is the use? But then my common sense and healthier self reminds me all that I truly am. Conflicted much??? I am. ??
  
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Lori Jackson, Other, Andover, MA, USA says

I was so moved and love this approach. I identified that I feel like a failure and though I’d your story when I thought of how can I be with this with compassion. I said to myself “Please be gentle with myself.” I felt my body relax and let go. I felt at peace and that this was the beginning of finding my authentic self. Thank you. Namaste.

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Noelle Lemos, Another Field, PT says

Thanks for organising my ideas and reminding me of how to respond

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Karen Power, Other, IE says

It was difficult and felt uncomfortable at first. Then I gently eased into it

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Sherrie Perugini, Social Work, Winchester, CT, USA says

I felt a sense of lightness and an epiphany ‘ah another way to travel this road’ and I immediately wanted more. -Sherrie Anne, Winchester CT

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Dovey McLeod, Another Field, Franklin , TN, USA says

I am at a transitional period in life and am feeling anxiety and insecurity. The first video has already helped me, and am looking forward to the next.
Thank you.

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Lindy Brett, Another Field, GB says

I felt like crying … which I think was/is appropriate.

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Rivka Orion, Nursing, IL says

When I tried to bring kindness to myself I felt a wave of warmth moving along my inner organs and they felt like expending. Thanks, Tara for video.

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Brigitte Dubois, Another Field, BE says

I note the physical tensions in my body of the feelings of pain, anger and shame I felt, I embrace them and they get lighter and and then I feel a sense of relief. My heart and my mind are opening. It is a daily exercise for a while.
Thank you very much for offering and sharing this video with kindness and compassion.
Kind regards
Brigitte Dubois from Brussels Belgium

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Lynn Waite, Counseling, Deerfield Beach, FL, USA says

When I tried to bring self-kindness into the prompted moment, it did not feel genuine. Instead of being critical, I told myself, it’s okay, I’ll try again later today.

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Charlie Wunsch, Other, Traverse City, MI, USA says

I started to feel more free, I saw that I had hope that I could release the yoke of self-blame and sense of being unworthy.

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Mimi Scalia, Dietetics, Mount Holly , NJ, USA says

Resistance, Curiosity
Resistance, Openness
Resistance, Acceptance
Resistance, Peace
This will be a work in progress!
Thank you, Tara!

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- Liz Williams, Another Field, GB says
  
  Nice one! Those phrases are really useful whether working with body, mind or emotions. Thanks Mimi
  
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Luci Baird, Another Field, Ukiah, CA, USA says

A feeling of less resistance

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Krisztina K, Social Work, CA says

It felt like a part of me (perhaps my better self) was trying to comfort the anxious part of myself. A thought came up “I am here. I am okay”.

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A. M., Other, FR says

I felt encouraged to continue taking time for simple joyful creativity. Sometimes I feel I should first have everything in order for the others and then take time for what else counts for me. Little by little I learn to be more generous to myself. It makes life more happy, also for the famous “others “. Thank you Tara, you helped me a lot with your books and talks.

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Jordan Parks, Another Field, Fort Smith, AR, USA says

Thank you for this video! It has shown me I still have a long way to go before I allow myself to be kind to me.

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Chanda O, Teacher, Buffalo, NY, USA says

When I brought my attention to the pain in my shoulders neck and head, I was more aware of the subtleties of the sensation: tension, heat, soreness. When I asked if I could be with this, I felt compassion in my heart rather than pushing the sensations away and wanting to fix them.

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Diane Reiss, Another Field, Denver, CO, USA says

I’m 83 years and moving from 55+ apt to my granddaughters & 2 “greats”. I’m excited and also fearful. It will be a challenging move for my 2 15 yr old For kids and me. Holly and I are best friends, I have always been her go to person. Now she has become my go to person. I’m anxious and have attacks of fast breathing and adrenalin rush. I quiet myself with meditation and conscious of what my body is communicating….slow down, breath, listen and be present to what is happening. a natural peace

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Patricia D, Teacher, Houston, TX, USA says

I noticed a lot of “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts.” I should or shouldn’t think or feel this way. I spend a lot of time trying to figure out why I feel the way I do and what I should do to protect myself even though I know that that obsessing just keeps me trapped in the swirl of negative thoughts and feelings and fears of vulnerability. I am not sure what self kindness would feel like. Do I just say to myself “you are okay” or “these feelings of vulnerability will pass” or “you are stronger than you think” or “you are safe right here right now in this moment?” Actually those statements feel pretty good. Maybe I can learn to be kinder toward myself.

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Betty Angelopoulou, Another Field, GR says

Tears came in my eyes.
Thank you so much, Tara

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Carletta Daniels, Counseling, Stringtown, OK, USA says

I cried. I encourage everyone, except myself I found deep grief over recent losses overwhelming.

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Charlotte C, Other, GB says

I was feeling shaky nervousness and vulnerability inside and when I brought kindness to it I felt calmer and more centred as if all the nervous sensations were coming together to create a deeper wholeness.

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Nancy Drope, Coach, CA says

Bringing kindness and compassion to myself up until now has been challenging. I continue to observe the ebbs and flows of mood and self talk. Bringing myself back to Love is a daily practice and knowing I have a supportive like this certainly helps. ♥️?? Yoga Teacher & Oracle Guide
Nancy , Ontario Canada

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