In the field of human services, kindness towards others is key! I felt all the irrational thoughts and judgements melt away when I deliberately put “kindness” at the top of my self-talk. Thank you Tara!
Phyllis Burton, Another Field, Greensburg, PA, USAsays
I was feeling anxious about my housing situation. I thought I need to be kind to myself and not say I’ve screwed up again. Maybe this place I’m in isn’t where God wants me right now. I’m very comfortable where I am. Maybe God wants me to be somewhere else to grow.
I felt myself acknowledging the fear I feel most of the time that the self critical voice generates, which I always try to hide with being busy etc. Instead of pushing it away, I gave it some space, so the fear eased a little.
I realized that I have been avoiding something for the last 2 days that I very much need and want to do. I was not able to bring kindness to that, but I do feel more motivated to get started on it. Thank you Tara and Ruth!
Hello Tara,
Thank you so much for this video. A few years ago I became more aware of my inner self n was more committed to hearing my own voice. I was reminded of going back to ‘me’ actually in your video. A lot of work change and a new task master (It feels like) has had me question myself, my ability and confidence in a job I love. I work with beautiful children who have suffered trauma. That I love. However the outside of the therapy room pressure has me as I said question myself. Today, I haven’t yet but I will do the sitting with myself part of this video. Thank you again I love this.
Maybe i missed the point of the exercise or didn’t understand it or do it right.
I felt empty, it didn’t feel real or true. I wanted it to feel good, I hoped it would feel good, but it didn’t. I just felt numb and vaguely lonely.
I also regularly tell myself that I love myself, that every little thing I do that leads to my survival/existence is a demonstration of self-love, and even little things like taking a shower and shaving are demonstrations of self-love. But the vision I see is like I am alone in a giant dark cave.
I don’t hate myself. I don’t beat myself up much, I am not unkind to myself though i do things that are counter productive and self destructive from time to time, for example; going through periods of overeating after spending months successfully strictly dieting and diligently exercising to try to achieve a better weight and body shape.
I do experience moments of great gratitude and peace. I try to capture and store those moments so I can reuse the energy or vibrational experience from them in other situations. This is a blessing.
Self-kindness, and kindness towards events or situations seems very far away. I lack the desire for anything physical. It is extremely hard to get motivated or to want to engage with anybody.
Outwardly I appear confident capable, intelligent and happy. Physically i am strong and healthy
Beautiful!
In the practice of being aware of the moments in the day I close my heart because I don’t like or agree …
Bringing loving care to myself acknowledging the emotion. So many times underneath it all is this sense of wrongness and unworthiness.
Thank you Tara B.
It is a work in progress and has evolved throughout many years. Today it seems easier and I have learned to be tender and will ask “I am I willing to be kinder to myself” so that the internal struggle will become lighter, wonderful video, thank you nicabm team and Tara.
Wanting to be protective and at the same time becoming vulnerable and the target of others makes me feel incompetent and useless, so weak , especially among my colleagues.
I love this concept of being my own best friend. I would never talk with a friend like I talk with myself. This simple exercise allowed me access acceptance for all that is which led to compassion for my own humanity.
When I tried to bring kindness, I felt like my head was swirling with confusion. I was trying to do what you wanted but felt unable to pinpoint 1 thing. Im not sure I know what it means to really be kind. Or maybe just cant find those feelings for myself.
Thank you Tara. Everything seems possible when I hear you but then my feelings and attitudes are difficult to change. Now I know better and will try doing what you suggest.
I like mindfullness, I didn’t understand all the words she said because I’m not an English speaker, but I am able to perceive calm and relax. It’s not simple getting rid of your thoughts but if you try and try you can achieve a state of loneliness where you can watch your body like it were a thing , your mind is above you (body) and it is free from all the thoughts that influence your life.
Thank you very much for this inspiring video! What happened to me was that with the kindness I tried to bring to my experience, came the insight that I will never find answers to my questions about what to do with my life, when I do not start with this kindness. It will be difficult to know what is the right thing to do in any situation, when I treat myself with impatience and blame myself for not knowing what to do. Even the little moment of kindness I experienced, opened up a space in which I felt an answer can eventually present itself.
Teresa Habibian, Another Field, Salt Lake City, UT, USAsays
Thank you so much. I felt the kindness, and it was instantly softening. I saw w clarity that i was trying desperately to control an outcome w many variables. What a heartbreakingly difficult monument of a not so kind task. And I was really trying, I was in the thought that I should do this exactly right, or else it was my fault if things didn’t work out. I opened to relaxing and trusting and realizing that was not my job. I even received a helpful solution to one aspect of it which may be great. This is a long way of saying I found freedom, relief, and remembered more of my wholeness and human-ness. Thank you.
a large swirling ball of agitation in my gut softened and lessened as i leaned into it a bit. Altho’ i was not able to conjure the full force of kindness i did not feel any inclination to judge.
As I sat and observed what was going on inside of me, how I was feeling, I became aware of physical tenseness, of feeling physically withdrawn into myself, protectively. I have been struggling lately with feelings of loneliness and unworthiness and it seemed as if in that moment of awareness, the tenseness in my neck, my shoulders was a physical embodiment of my self-judgment. But when I thought about bringing compassion and kindness to myself, the tightness released and I felt better in that moment. I had a few moments of feeling lighter. I hope I can find my way to feeling lighter and less burdened by self-judgment.
I have a deep rooted self-loathing.
There’s been too much critism from others toward me all my life. Starting in my childhood and carrying on into my marriage to a partner who is highly critical and in loving.
However, when I thought of my younger , child self I felt pity and live toward it and a shift of some sort. Thank you.
Helen Lutz, Marriage/Family Therapy, Other, CA, USAsays
I noticed the presence of space through the core of my body, a container waiting to be filled. As I sat with kindness I became curious and then noticed some sadness followed by desire to give myself time and space to bring more creativity in my life and be ok with being me.
The tightness of feeling inadequate and unworthy is such an integral part of my being, shaped by family, environment and being a minority. I have held the false beliefs of this trance for more than 4 decades and weep from the limitations, fear, anxiety and deep depression I have lived with. I’m grateful to Tara for giving me the tools to understand and start to melt the iceberg of my false beliefs. Thank you. ❤
I am being disrespected severely by my daughter and ex husband. I sat with the pain and sadness which physically sits in my solar plexus. I realized my body and soul asked for my compassion and kindness during this protracted period of time. It made me feel I am capable of caring and compassion for myself, which is needed
Self compassion and loving kindness towards ourselves is always the most difficult…
I have been practicing loving kindness meditation and I can feel my heart soften..
Every time I am hard on someone I love most of the cases is because I have been hard on myself…
We just need to remind ourselves that we do matter ..no matter what …and to keep practicing ‘till we can spread love and compassion all around..we need so much of it..and everyone can benefit ?
Thank you for this inspiring
Two videos..
With Metta
Francesca UK
I softened and a faint smile came to my face, I have practiced self-compassion through my yoga and meditation practices. But, I need so much more work with this…, to really go beyond the very surface of this exploration. I look forward to your next video. Thank you. I hope I can help myself and others with expanded ability in this practice. xx
I felt agitated , unworthy
I felt very vulnerable and tearful due to being offered compassion and kindness.
I felt the feeling of loneliness stronger even if trying to be kind. Saw my guilt and could not feel kindness.
In the field of human services, kindness towards others is key! I felt all the irrational thoughts and judgements melt away when I deliberately put “kindness” at the top of my self-talk. Thank you Tara!
I felt like I needed to give myself a hug….like I needed to do something kind for myself to take care of myself.
Thank you – deeply.
I was feeling anxious about my housing situation. I thought I need to be kind to myself and not say I’ve screwed up again. Maybe this place I’m in isn’t where God wants me right now. I’m very comfortable where I am. Maybe God wants me to be somewhere else to grow.
I released some tension and tightness in the heart.
I felt myself acknowledging the fear I feel most of the time that the self critical voice generates, which I always try to hide with being busy etc. Instead of pushing it away, I gave it some space, so the fear eased a little.
I realized that I have been avoiding something for the last 2 days that I very much need and want to do. I was not able to bring kindness to that, but I do feel more motivated to get started on it. Thank you Tara and Ruth!
Hello Tara,
Thank you so much for this video. A few years ago I became more aware of my inner self n was more committed to hearing my own voice. I was reminded of going back to ‘me’ actually in your video. A lot of work change and a new task master (It feels like) has had me question myself, my ability and confidence in a job I love. I work with beautiful children who have suffered trauma. That I love. However the outside of the therapy room pressure has me as I said question myself. Today, I haven’t yet but I will do the sitting with myself part of this video. Thank you again I love this.
Maybe i missed the point of the exercise or didn’t understand it or do it right.
I felt empty, it didn’t feel real or true. I wanted it to feel good, I hoped it would feel good, but it didn’t. I just felt numb and vaguely lonely.
I also regularly tell myself that I love myself, that every little thing I do that leads to my survival/existence is a demonstration of self-love, and even little things like taking a shower and shaving are demonstrations of self-love. But the vision I see is like I am alone in a giant dark cave.
I don’t hate myself. I don’t beat myself up much, I am not unkind to myself though i do things that are counter productive and self destructive from time to time, for example; going through periods of overeating after spending months successfully strictly dieting and diligently exercising to try to achieve a better weight and body shape.
I do experience moments of great gratitude and peace. I try to capture and store those moments so I can reuse the energy or vibrational experience from them in other situations. This is a blessing.
Self-kindness, and kindness towards events or situations seems very far away. I lack the desire for anything physical. It is extremely hard to get motivated or to want to engage with anybody.
Outwardly I appear confident capable, intelligent and happy. Physically i am strong and healthy
Been working on the idea of self-care without guilt. This was wonderfully on the mark.
I felt a closeness and compassion for myself. I felt an easing of the grip that my self-loathing had on me in that instant.
I feel a wall….scared….numb
I know the feeling well.
We can make it through. Let’s try to progress in hope.
My heart felt happy
Beautiful!
In the practice of being aware of the moments in the day I close my heart because I don’t like or agree …
Bringing loving care to myself acknowledging the emotion. So many times underneath it all is this sense of wrongness and unworthiness.
Thank you Tara B.
Tears ? and Thank You for the video!!
Feeling well grounded
I dropped my defenses and allowed my self to look around.
I felt a lifting of the heaviness. And then a suttle internal wamth..
Tears and more tears. A seemingly endless well of tears.
It is a work in progress and has evolved throughout many years. Today it seems easier and I have learned to be tender and will ask “I am I willing to be kinder to myself” so that the internal struggle will become lighter, wonderful video, thank you nicabm team and Tara.
I wasn’t able to allow it .,
Wanting to be protective and at the same time becoming vulnerable and the target of others makes me feel incompetent and useless, so weak , especially among my colleagues.
I opened up inside. There was room for that feeling. As I have been feeling tired for a long time, allowing it brought rest.
I felt uncertainty, wariness, but also sensed a glimmer of possibility – a ray of potentiality.
Thank you Ruth and Tara – I am enjoying the discussion and learning so much from everyone.
I love this concept of being my own best friend. I would never talk with a friend like I talk with myself. This simple exercise allowed me access acceptance for all that is which led to compassion for my own humanity.
When I tried to bring kindness, I felt like my head was swirling with confusion. I was trying to do what you wanted but felt unable to pinpoint 1 thing. Im not sure I know what it means to really be kind. Or maybe just cant find those feelings for myself.
Thank you Tara. Everything seems possible when I hear you but then my feelings and attitudes are difficult to change. Now I know better and will try doing what you suggest.
I’m struggling right now and will be talking with my mindfulness instructor later today
I like mindfullness, I didn’t understand all the words she said because I’m not an English speaker, but I am able to perceive calm and relax. It’s not simple getting rid of your thoughts but if you try and try you can achieve a state of loneliness where you can watch your body like it were a thing , your mind is above you (body) and it is free from all the thoughts that influence your life.
The nervous thoughts were softened by the feelings of acceptance and compassion.
Thank you very much for this inspiring video! What happened to me was that with the kindness I tried to bring to my experience, came the insight that I will never find answers to my questions about what to do with my life, when I do not start with this kindness. It will be difficult to know what is the right thing to do in any situation, when I treat myself with impatience and blame myself for not knowing what to do. Even the little moment of kindness I experienced, opened up a space in which I felt an answer can eventually present itself.
Thank you so much. I felt peace. I started to see everything that’s happening but from another perspective.
I love the simplicity of the concept of becoming my best friend. Too often I depend on feedback from others to feel good. Thank you, Jacynthe
Thank you so much. I felt the kindness, and it was instantly softening. I saw w clarity that i was trying desperately to control an outcome w many variables. What a heartbreakingly difficult monument of a not so kind task. And I was really trying, I was in the thought that I should do this exactly right, or else it was my fault if things didn’t work out. I opened to relaxing and trusting and realizing that was not my job. I even received a helpful solution to one aspect of it which may be great. This is a long way of saying I found freedom, relief, and remembered more of my wholeness and human-ness. Thank you.
a large swirling ball of agitation in my gut softened and lessened as i leaned into it a bit. Altho’ i was not able to conjure the full force of kindness i did not feel any inclination to judge.
It softened
I had been doing this exercise before , but without the kindness. When added, that made all the difference. I felt a sense of relief. Thanks, Tara.
As I sat and observed what was going on inside of me, how I was feeling, I became aware of physical tenseness, of feeling physically withdrawn into myself, protectively. I have been struggling lately with feelings of loneliness and unworthiness and it seemed as if in that moment of awareness, the tenseness in my neck, my shoulders was a physical embodiment of my self-judgment. But when I thought about bringing compassion and kindness to myself, the tightness released and I felt better in that moment. I had a few moments of feeling lighter. I hope I can find my way to feeling lighter and less burdened by self-judgment.
I have a deep rooted self-loathing.
There’s been too much critism from others toward me all my life. Starting in my childhood and carrying on into my marriage to a partner who is highly critical and in loving.
However, when I thought of my younger , child self I felt pity and live toward it and a shift of some sort. Thank you.
I noticed the presence of space through the core of my body, a container waiting to be filled. As I sat with kindness I became curious and then noticed some sadness followed by desire to give myself time and space to bring more creativity in my life and be ok with being me.
A feeling of peace well being and calmness
The tightness of feeling inadequate and unworthy is such an integral part of my being, shaped by family, environment and being a minority. I have held the false beliefs of this trance for more than 4 decades and weep from the limitations, fear, anxiety and deep depression I have lived with. I’m grateful to Tara for giving me the tools to understand and start to melt the iceberg of my false beliefs. Thank you. ❤
I am being disrespected severely by my daughter and ex husband. I sat with the pain and sadness which physically sits in my solar plexus. I realized my body and soul asked for my compassion and kindness during this protracted period of time. It made me feel I am capable of caring and compassion for myself, which is needed
Self compassion and loving kindness towards ourselves is always the most difficult…
I have been practicing loving kindness meditation and I can feel my heart soften..
Every time I am hard on someone I love most of the cases is because I have been hard on myself…
We just need to remind ourselves that we do matter ..no matter what …and to keep practicing ‘till we can spread love and compassion all around..we need so much of it..and everyone can benefit ?
Thank you for this inspiring
Two videos..
With Metta
Francesca UK
I softened and a faint smile came to my face, I have practiced self-compassion through my yoga and meditation practices. But, I need so much more work with this…, to really go beyond the very surface of this exploration. I look forward to your next video. Thank you. I hope I can help myself and others with expanded ability in this practice. xx
Love this! Wings of Awareness really important- mindfulness and compassion, can I use this video with clients? Ladonna