I felt tightness in my gut. I have been acutely aware of my helplessness in a world out of control. The good news is that I CAN be with this. It has taken a lot of time. Studying Tara’s book Radical Acceptance helped me make a profound shift in my ability to “hold myself in the cradle of loving kindness”. My meditation practice has also been key. thankyou Tara for your wisdom and for sharing your own journey.
BRIAN STEPPACHER, Other, SOUTH PORTLAND, ME, USAsays
What does Kindness ask for: If Kindness is letting it be, letting it calm, letting it be still, letting it relax, letting it warm me from the inside out, if Kindness fills me with an open, unconditional loving presence, then it was kind.
I spoke to myself using “You” – e.g., You’ll do better next time, you’re always trying to improve” – as I would do when speaking to a friend with encouragement.
There’s an objectivity that occurred when I wrote out my honest answer to “what is going on inside of me?” and then read the page as if it weren’t my writing. I can step into a compassionate lense and see the person on the page is genuinely suffering. It doesn’t change my situation, approaching myself with this lense, but it did invite a shift of awareness and I think that’s an important step. Thanks for the opportunity to practice with you:)
I was able to be more accepting that I am how I am today and see that it’s enough. I had a reduced desire to do things because I should or on auto-pilot and an increased desire to stop and listen to what I really feel like doing today to let my intuition guide me.
Very inspiring
Kindness helped me stay with the strong feelings and gave me hope that I can move through it now. This is something I’ve been working on since my 20,s. I feel like now I’m ready to break through and love and accept myself more fully.
Thankyou ?
I felt a sense of hope. This video fits in with my struggles with trauma and feelings of unworthiness and knowing I have to find answers if the rest of my life is going to be worthwhile. Thank you.
Even the statement ‘Can I be with this…’ WITHOUT adding the kindness factor, was helpful. Kindness to myself seems foreign, but it stirred something in me… it also articulated for me that some of my fear is so vague that I don’t even know what I’m afraid of. Saying can I be with this with kindness sharpens the picture and it seems less scary…but unfortunately it was fleeting! because I am always in a rush and don’t afford the time to sit with a practice, to my detriment…
I feel a sense of disconnect with myself and my decisions or way of being lately. Doing the exercise made be feel a bit less judgemental to and about myself; it is a bit freeing of the negative vibrations.
Familiar voices fired thoughts that were not helpful. They invaded and stampede through what I was attempting. I like the practice but it isn’t as simple or straight forward with all the negative voices which are stronger, louder, more pervasive in me. When you’re starting from below zero the practice even in its simplicity is a higher order skill to be cultivated and grown.
I’d like to feel calm, peace. Not have the negativity plague my mind as the loudest voices I hear. I’m not there yet.
Wow, I never thought of being my own best friend and changing the internal critic to a kind support.
Amazing points delivered with such clarity.
Thank you for reminding and reinforcing that Kindness is the key.
Thank you for the video. I was experiencing some tension in my belly (anxiety), and when I was asked to treat it with kindness, I felt empathy for the girl who was experiencing such anxiety…me. Then I realized that I have not given myself the same grace I would give to others in my situation. It was a realization that practicing kindness toward myself will take some work. But I am willing to do it. Thank you again!
Laurie Giafardino, Other, Westchester County NY, NY, USAsays
I suffer CPTSD…3 ( different)rapes before I was 12. I have done DBT, and recently had a wonderful therapist for a year. I learned a lot. Your method seems to be a simpler way to practice this self love. Thank you. I am sharing with those I know need help.
Thanks for sharing.
When I looked at my issue with kindness, I was able to see, become aware of my specific needs, aware that I needed to nurture myself not get trapped ‘looping’ the issue and feeling hopeless/helpless.
I felt lighter for a moment. But I don’t know why I am depressed or why I hate everything in my life, I hate myself I feel stupid, ridiculous and lost. I have a wonderful husband, two gorgeous dogs, a home, beautiful grandchildren, but I feel lonely and unworthy. Memories come back to me all the time but only the bad ones, the hurtful kind. X
I meditate on the words of God. He brings me peace and compassion. My self-worth it’s from accepting that Jesus died on the cross to bring me to him. For the most part I tried to see myself as God sees me, one of his children that he loves.
So grateful for your wise gentle guidance. I felt a “clinching” in my upper chest. Not intolerable, but knowledge that I have stuff. But also since I listen frequently, I have learned to recognize it more quickly and have a better chance to avoid the spiraling I often experience.
Old tapes start playing again. I have to come to like myself so much more than I ever did in the past. Taking care of myself is now important to me. Doing things that I enjoy happen now. I am a work in progress for sure and the old voices are still there but not so loud anymore.
Greetings. When I participated in the meditation, only silent blankness arose; no real emotion and no thought. I am not sure why nothing dramatic did not happen. I will listen to the other videos.
In meditation, the feelings of fear, regret, self judgement and blame popped up. When applying the the looking at what’s happening and can I live with this, live with this, with kindness, everything softened. The dread lifted and paths of caring came into focus. Ways for me to mend and resolve some challenges and a letting go, letting go bit by bit the judgement voice decreased until it was no more. Forgive and let go. Leave in the past, the past. Step by step, day to day, remembering to calm my mind with meditation, take slow deep breaths, practice kindness and caring and turning off my negative self-mind speak, chin up, and be interested in the stories of others, and taking care of my loose ends. All these things help me to center and become calmer and accomplish more challenges and be of service to others.
Deb Santiago, Another Field, Wofford Heights, CA, USAsays
Diane ☀️? Took the words right out of my brain and into the heart of it all. Step by step, great intentions get us there. Isn’t the view just magnificent and there’s so much left to see with open eyes, open self, allowing the sunshine and shadows to lead our way! Bless you. Thanks for being a teacher… you do make a daily difference ??♀️??☺️deb
I have been working on this for years with continued success. I was introduced to mindfulness through Dr. Dan Siegel two years ago. At 75 this has been powerful in releasing me to be me.
I had a nightmare last night about me fighting with my ex-husband. The fighting was vicious and I was angry. But when I looked at it with kindness I found that the anger was really grief! I have been wanting to forgive myself for all that we went through during the time of our divorce. It has been years and I don’t know why I keep hanging on to this. I really want to release this feeling of anger and betrayal and finally forgive myself for behaving so badly.
Oh this is big! I have struggled with self-hatred and doubt for as long as I can remember. I feel my mindfulness practice is getting stronger, now to incorporate kindness into whatever I’m sitting with. It felt good to think of what I’m dealing with, with kindness. I need to be kinder to myself.
I felt an overwhelming sense of emotions that began to bring tears to my eyes, yet a calm, pervasive feeling of peace in recognizing what was there below the surface, and a wanting to “slow the pace” of my day to take time to process these emotions more fully. To be with my Self more fully.
Melinda OBannon, Another Field, Portland, OR, USAsays
When you asked that I take a look inside to see where I was emotionally, I saw dread and sadness.. a person that is now feeling like it is time to get affairs in order to be ready to die since the other shoe is surely about to drop soon. Time to live is running out. I did what you asked, I used kindness.. I leaned inside myself and hugged my inner person, told them it was going to be okay, that there is more time than I imagine and it is time for me to enjoy life. It’s okay to be happy. (I was the sole caregiver of my Mom with stage 4 cancer last year, she passed away with me at her home. I have been diagnosed with ptsd and trying to find myself. That experience traumatized me for reasons I won’t go into here.) Thank you
I felt tightness in my gut. I have been acutely aware of my helplessness in a world out of control. The good news is that I CAN be with this. It has taken a lot of time. Studying Tara’s book Radical Acceptance helped me make a profound shift in my ability to “hold myself in the cradle of loving kindness”. My meditation practice has also been key. thankyou Tara for your wisdom and for sharing your own journey.
The squeeze in my chest let up a little and a sense of warmth and acceptance came into my awareness.
What does Kindness ask for: If Kindness is letting it be, letting it calm, letting it be still, letting it relax, letting it warm me from the inside out, if Kindness fills me with an open, unconditional loving presence, then it was kind.
I spoke to myself using “You” – e.g., You’ll do better next time, you’re always trying to improve” – as I would do when speaking to a friend with encouragement.
My shoulders came down, leaving me in alighter state of mind.
Absolutely nothing happened. I am at a place where I am very scared of my future ability to move and act in the world. I am hollow and paralyzed.
I felt a lightness come over me.
A feeling of warmth and comfort…love and acceptance.
There’s an objectivity that occurred when I wrote out my honest answer to “what is going on inside of me?” and then read the page as if it weren’t my writing. I can step into a compassionate lense and see the person on the page is genuinely suffering. It doesn’t change my situation, approaching myself with this lense, but it did invite a shift of awareness and I think that’s an important step. Thanks for the opportunity to practice with you:)
I find it hard to be kind to myself because of bad conditioning as a child but am improving!
I was able to be more accepting that I am how I am today and see that it’s enough. I had a reduced desire to do things because I should or on auto-pilot and an increased desire to stop and listen to what I really feel like doing today to let my intuition guide me.
A release of being constricted… I could breathe more easily without feeling so intense within. ??☺️
Very inspiring
Kindness helped me stay with the strong feelings and gave me hope that I can move through it now. This is something I’ve been working on since my 20,s. I feel like now I’m ready to break through and love and accept myself more fully.
Thankyou ?
I felt a sense of hope. This video fits in with my struggles with trauma and feelings of unworthiness and knowing I have to find answers if the rest of my life is going to be worthwhile. Thank you.
Thankyou. Just what I needed this morning .
Your voice is very soothing.
Thx again.
Even the statement ‘Can I be with this…’ WITHOUT adding the kindness factor, was helpful. Kindness to myself seems foreign, but it stirred something in me… it also articulated for me that some of my fear is so vague that I don’t even know what I’m afraid of. Saying can I be with this with kindness sharpens the picture and it seems less scary…but unfortunately it was fleeting! because I am always in a rush and don’t afford the time to sit with a practice, to my detriment…
Hello,
I feel a sense of disconnect with myself and my decisions or way of being lately. Doing the exercise made be feel a bit less judgemental to and about myself; it is a bit freeing of the negative vibrations.
Thank you.
I wanted so much to feel peace but what I felt was if I really was worthy of it. I heard all the judgement that has been thrown at me.
I feel relief when I bring kindness to what I am experiencing, and love. It can be challenging to do so and much easier to do towards others.
I am 61and and just started to deal with traumas from my past, and learn how to be kind to myself……It feels strange to put myself first….
All I saw when I looked inside myself was doubt and judgement
Familiar voices fired thoughts that were not helpful. They invaded and stampede through what I was attempting. I like the practice but it isn’t as simple or straight forward with all the negative voices which are stronger, louder, more pervasive in me. When you’re starting from below zero the practice even in its simplicity is a higher order skill to be cultivated and grown.
I’d like to feel calm, peace. Not have the negativity plague my mind as the loudest voices I hear. I’m not there yet.
Wow, I never thought of being my own best friend and changing the internal critic to a kind support.
Amazing points delivered with such clarity.
Thank you for reminding and reinforcing that Kindness is the key.
An awareness of something
I felt calm
Thank you for the video. I was experiencing some tension in my belly (anxiety), and when I was asked to treat it with kindness, I felt empathy for the girl who was experiencing such anxiety…me. Then I realized that I have not given myself the same grace I would give to others in my situation. It was a realization that practicing kindness toward myself will take some work. But I am willing to do it. Thank you again!
I felt a warmth of peace and love. A lightness of spirit and mood.
I suffer CPTSD…3 ( different)rapes before I was 12. I have done DBT, and recently had a wonderful therapist for a year. I learned a lot. Your method seems to be a simpler way to practice this self love. Thank you. I am sharing with those I know need help.
Thanks for sharing.
When I looked at my issue with kindness, I was able to see, become aware of my specific needs, aware that I needed to nurture myself not get trapped ‘looping’ the issue and feeling hopeless/helpless.
Thankyou for you guidance
I felt lighter for a moment. But I don’t know why I am depressed or why I hate everything in my life, I hate myself I feel stupid, ridiculous and lost. I have a wonderful husband, two gorgeous dogs, a home, beautiful grandchildren, but I feel lonely and unworthy. Memories come back to me all the time but only the bad ones, the hurtful kind. X
I am exactly like you and I don’t know why. I have a great life but I am miserable. I can’t let go of the past. It’s awful aye
It felt like everything relaxing…like my whole self heaved a sigh of relief and moved into a safe, non-judgemental space. Thank you.
I meditate on the words of God. He brings me peace and compassion. My self-worth it’s from accepting that Jesus died on the cross to bring me to him. For the most part I tried to see myself as God sees me, one of his children that he loves.
I think I got lost or something wouldnt allow me to unblock my mind enough to feel that self compassion
So grateful for your wise gentle guidance. I felt a “clinching” in my upper chest. Not intolerable, but knowledge that I have stuff. But also since I listen frequently, I have learned to recognize it more quickly and have a better chance to avoid the spiraling I often experience.
a sense of peace
Old tapes start playing again. I have to come to like myself so much more than I ever did in the past. Taking care of myself is now important to me. Doing things that I enjoy happen now. I am a work in progress for sure and the old voices are still there but not so loud anymore.
Greetings. When I participated in the meditation, only silent blankness arose; no real emotion and no thought. I am not sure why nothing dramatic did not happen. I will listen to the other videos.
A surprisingly sudden flush of heat and urge to cry. Thank you ?
I can get to be kind to myself is like everything is my fault.
Hating my procrastination! Making the conscious to get up and accomplish my task
Thank you for the enlightenment.
In meditation, the feelings of fear, regret, self judgement and blame popped up. When applying the the looking at what’s happening and can I live with this, live with this, with kindness, everything softened. The dread lifted and paths of caring came into focus. Ways for me to mend and resolve some challenges and a letting go, letting go bit by bit the judgement voice decreased until it was no more. Forgive and let go. Leave in the past, the past. Step by step, day to day, remembering to calm my mind with meditation, take slow deep breaths, practice kindness and caring and turning off my negative self-mind speak, chin up, and be interested in the stories of others, and taking care of my loose ends. All these things help me to center and become calmer and accomplish more challenges and be of service to others.
Diane ☀️? Took the words right out of my brain and into the heart of it all. Step by step, great intentions get us there. Isn’t the view just magnificent and there’s so much left to see with open eyes, open self, allowing the sunshine and shadows to lead our way! Bless you. Thanks for being a teacher… you do make a daily difference ??♀️??☺️deb
I have been working on this for years with continued success. I was introduced to mindfulness through Dr. Dan Siegel two years ago. At 75 this has been powerful in releasing me to be me.
Tears
I had a nightmare last night about me fighting with my ex-husband. The fighting was vicious and I was angry. But when I looked at it with kindness I found that the anger was really grief! I have been wanting to forgive myself for all that we went through during the time of our divorce. It has been years and I don’t know why I keep hanging on to this. I really want to release this feeling of anger and betrayal and finally forgive myself for behaving so badly.
Oh this is big! I have struggled with self-hatred and doubt for as long as I can remember. I feel my mindfulness practice is getting stronger, now to incorporate kindness into whatever I’m sitting with. It felt good to think of what I’m dealing with, with kindness. I need to be kinder to myself.
I felt an overwhelming sense of emotions that began to bring tears to my eyes, yet a calm, pervasive feeling of peace in recognizing what was there below the surface, and a wanting to “slow the pace” of my day to take time to process these emotions more fully. To be with my Self more fully.
I felt good and lovely to bring kindness to myself
When you asked that I take a look inside to see where I was emotionally, I saw dread and sadness.. a person that is now feeling like it is time to get affairs in order to be ready to die since the other shoe is surely about to drop soon. Time to live is running out. I did what you asked, I used kindness.. I leaned inside myself and hugged my inner person, told them it was going to be okay, that there is more time than I imagine and it is time for me to enjoy life. It’s okay to be happy. (I was the sole caregiver of my Mom with stage 4 cancer last year, she passed away with me at her home. I have been diagnosed with ptsd and trying to find myself. That experience traumatized me for reasons I won’t go into here.) Thank you