The pause helped me make room in myself and afford emotional acknowledgement towards how I feel somewhat careworn currently and just need to work with pacing myself accordingly:)
The first thing I saw when I looked within were two forms of myself in a tug-of-war. One was saying “more kindness, more kindness” and the other was saying “you are so not worth it”. When I focused on kindness, an instant softening wave of relaxation came over me.
An understanding that I didn’t have before it was an understanding of kindness for something that happened a bit beyond my control. That gave me a sense of forgiveness and forgiving myself for judgement. I was able to look much Kinder at myself.
Nancy Judson, Another Field, Highland, NY, USAsays
I felt tightness in my throat. Not sure what the feeling was. Anger? Frustration? Hate? Then, I imagined myself holding, containing and supporting my throat. I stayed there. Being with the feeling in my throat with this support brought a warmth and love that I don’t usually offer to myself. There was a closeness not a pushing away. The tightness transformed into ease, lightness and a full breath. Thank you.
I struggle with the concept of karma, it seems like such a crappy system, and not based on love. If someone does something because they are damaged, and feeling bad inside, because of what other people have done to them, why should the first person have to pay for it later? it just keeps the misery going. I guess the human just has to rise above everything that happens and treat it all with equanimity…not believing in the world… everything was simpler when I didn’t believe in the existence of this spiritual construct…when I just believed in love, that it was the most powerful force in the universe, and that it should flow through me every day.
A voice within instantly said no and it felt like a huge wall rose up in front of me and I was a tiny voice standing on the outside of it. It was like I had to retrain that side of my brain that had responded that way for 40yrs.
Jason Riddle, Another Field, San Jose, CA, USAsays
I recognized the feeling of tiredness from the chronic insomnia I’ve been experiencing, and my mind wandered to thoughts of someone who I still love that abandoned me many months ago now. It is is a helpful practice to turn even a little of the affection I feel for others towards myself. Thank you Tara. We’ve never met but you’ve been helping me daily for several years now.
I felt a genuine connection to that feeling of anxiety an ungroundedness…the tension behind those feelings softened enough for the anxiety to relax and I felt the ground below me holding me in support – a tiny message in my psyche said “it will all work out in the right time, in the right way – go with the flow”….so comforting, the rigidity softened enough for me to trust this flow – witness, and come back to responding with wisdom and compassion…
I have been feeling frozen in my life, as if the life I want to live, the gifts I want to share is unreachable. When I tried to bring kindness to this experience I mostly felt like it was ok to be here right now, even though I’m feeling pretty impatient about it!
The strong feeling of restlessness and anxiety softened when i could just be with it.
Thanks for this video. I follow a lot of your work and hope to attend a life training with you in the coming year.
Andrea B, Another Field, Fayetteville , NY, USAsays
I’m sobbing almost too hard to reply. I realized I’ve been alone and unloved for my entire life, and that I must be completely unworthy of being loved, so it’s very difficult for me to feel that way about myself. I’m also confused because I’ve always been very empathetic and loving towards everyone else. During this exercise I had a vision of being a young child and just sitting on a parent’s lap and being hugged and feeling accepted and loved unconditionally. That never actually happened in my life, (in fact, there was a lot of emotional abuse), and I realized I’ve been searching for that validation for my entire life of 59 years.
I am a person in a wheelchair with MS and writing today I was inspired to look ahead to the season to come with anticipation of forward moment. This video has given me an interesting foothold in a positive attitude and planning. I have realized a personal conflict with El Negitavo and that I can choose how to think. The concept of being my own best friend is, i feel, reflected in my life experiences and associations. I appreciate how this video has come into my Awareness today. Thank you Tara for this and the many videos I have listened to over the years on this path of disability.
I realised what was going on inside…exhaustion, overwhelm, pain. Instead of being in a soup of negativity these feelings crystallized- and I saw clearly that they were a predictable result of unrelenting stress.
B Mars, Occupational Therapy, Springfield, MA, USAsays
Bringing kindness to my thoughts about my low back pain helped to transform how I responded to that pain. Simply being aware that I can respond to the pain in a more positive way instead of a self condemning way helped me feel lighter and not as heavy.
I was absolutely trapped in the trance of thinking, and fearing, that I can never do enough, causing anxiety to tighten my chest and unsettling my stomach. Trying to bring kindness to that experience seemed to heighten all of those feelings but a space opened up around them, making them easier to hold. Reading everyone’s comments brought me to tears. Like many others have noted, my anxiety shifted to sadness but I also feel more love and compassion.
I am a female, and in my culture growing up females were considered “less than.” I always believed I could never be good enough. I was very harsh and self-critical. After a suicide attempt, I sought help. My counselor asked me why I felt “less than” and why I felt less deserving of love and compassion than anyone else. I thought about that. As a child of God, I am no different than anyone else. I deserve love and compassion, just like everyone else. I am worthy of love and compassion. My life got infinitely better!!! I no longer feel “less than.”
Thankyou Tara for this excellent and timely video, I can identify with it fully. I am my own worst critic but also critical of my husband.
Your comment” please be kind “ resonated with me for me. I will practice this .
?
Thanks Tara, I felt a little bit more. Awareness of my body normally everything seems dead or painful there and my life just revolves around my exhausting thoughts.janet.
I felt such a sense of being brought home. To remembering myself… I was able to see me. I was able to remember it’s a running story I no longer wish to partake in.
I have very little difficulty dealing with my treatments for cancer I am undergoing currently but am having a really hard time turning over being separated from my son and grandson.
Christine Fromme, Another Field, Somers, NY, USAsays
I felt more love for myself not to be so hard on myself I softened and felt kindness towards myself. It felt good to be with myself and stop abusing myself with judgement.
softening, especially jaw, shoulders, solarplexus, widening thorax and belly, betterconscious of the pelvis, grounding and gradually widening of the mind and change in awarness as the breath became slower
I realized that I can be a friend to myself and I don’t always need to rely on others to provide compassion. I can be compassionate for me. Thank you for sharing this video Tara.
Thank you for sharing your journey of awakening with us and the wisdom that has come from that. Slowly allowing acceptance and love for ourselves to become a familiar experience transforms, not only our own sense of self, but how we interact with the world. I am on the journey of discovery.
I found myself with tears flowing down my cheeks. I live with
an adult daughter and granddaughter. Sometimes they make me feel unwelcome and not appreciated. In my own home I feel like
I must somehow be doing something wrong that they don’t treat me with kindness. Then I remembered that I have the power to treat myself with kindness and caring and I felt lighter and a smile
arrived on my face.
What I was with, was a sense that I am wasting many precious moments in this life. A sense that there is something that I should be doing, contributing – a feeling that I have been given a gift for which I wish to reciprocate more fully than I am. Bringing kindness to these thoughts felt like the sun coming out from behind a cloud. The thoughts didnt change but my experience of thinking them felt more optimistic, exciting, full of potential, rather than the experience of inadequacy that was there before. THANK YOU.
Tears and release of tension
The pause helped me make room in myself and afford emotional acknowledgement towards how I feel somewhat careworn currently and just need to work with pacing myself accordingly:)
The first thing I saw when I looked within were two forms of myself in a tug-of-war. One was saying “more kindness, more kindness” and the other was saying “you are so not worth it”. When I focused on kindness, an instant softening wave of relaxation came over me.
I have been so beaten down by others that when I try to feel compassion & kindness toward myself I reject this as unreal.
I felt a little less lonely and that I would be OK.
The feeling of anxiety dissolved, reasserted itself and dissolved a little more.
An understanding that I didn’t have before it was an understanding of kindness for something that happened a bit beyond my control. That gave me a sense of forgiveness and forgiving myself for judgement. I was able to look much Kinder at myself.
A softening x
Tough just sitting with that kindness…jumped to an action step to try and improve what I became aware of ……
I felt tightness in my throat. Not sure what the feeling was. Anger? Frustration? Hate? Then, I imagined myself holding, containing and supporting my throat. I stayed there. Being with the feeling in my throat with this support brought a warmth and love that I don’t usually offer to myself. There was a closeness not a pushing away. The tightness transformed into ease, lightness and a full breath. Thank you.
I saw that I had a choice in how I was responding to myself with judgement about not being present to myself when I was with another person.
My body softend. Relaxed.
I struggle with the concept of karma, it seems like such a crappy system, and not based on love. If someone does something because they are damaged, and feeling bad inside, because of what other people have done to them, why should the first person have to pay for it later? it just keeps the misery going. I guess the human just has to rise above everything that happens and treat it all with equanimity…not believing in the world… everything was simpler when I didn’t believe in the existence of this spiritual construct…when I just believed in love, that it was the most powerful force in the universe, and that it should flow through me every day.
Guilt, I did not deserve self compassion as I ought to have known better
well as soon as i thought of the word kindness my face relaxed , and a much more gentle voice soothing my feeling , very strong feeling of anger
I felt an expansion & opening.
A voice within instantly said no and it felt like a huge wall rose up in front of me and I was a tiny voice standing on the outside of it. It was like I had to retrain that side of my brain that had responded that way for 40yrs.
I felt lighter.
It scared me because I have always felt unworthy of life and critical of myself. Being my own best friend is a foreign concept for me.
I recognized the feeling of tiredness from the chronic insomnia I’ve been experiencing, and my mind wandered to thoughts of someone who I still love that abandoned me many months ago now. It is is a helpful practice to turn even a little of the affection I feel for others towards myself. Thank you Tara. We’ve never met but you’ve been helping me daily for several years now.
Opening up my heart I found Loving kindness and compassion… I also found a sense of forgiveness… both for myself and others that have hurt me. JN
I felt a genuine connection to that feeling of anxiety an ungroundedness…the tension behind those feelings softened enough for the anxiety to relax and I felt the ground below me holding me in support – a tiny message in my psyche said “it will all work out in the right time, in the right way – go with the flow”….so comforting, the rigidity softened enough for me to trust this flow – witness, and come back to responding with wisdom and compassion…
I felt sad and tears arrived. Just the question of being your own best friend is a good reminder of being kind to oneself.
I have been feeling frozen in my life, as if the life I want to live, the gifts I want to share is unreachable. When I tried to bring kindness to this experience I mostly felt like it was ok to be here right now, even though I’m feeling pretty impatient about it!
The strong feeling of restlessness and anxiety softened when i could just be with it.
Thanks for this video. I follow a lot of your work and hope to attend a life training with you in the coming year.
I’m sobbing almost too hard to reply. I realized I’ve been alone and unloved for my entire life, and that I must be completely unworthy of being loved, so it’s very difficult for me to feel that way about myself. I’m also confused because I’ve always been very empathetic and loving towards everyone else. During this exercise I had a vision of being a young child and just sitting on a parent’s lap and being hugged and feeling accepted and loved unconditionally. That never actually happened in my life, (in fact, there was a lot of emotional abuse), and I realized I’ve been searching for that validation for my entire life of 59 years.
I am a person in a wheelchair with MS and writing today I was inspired to look ahead to the season to come with anticipation of forward moment. This video has given me an interesting foothold in a positive attitude and planning. I have realized a personal conflict with El Negitavo and that I can choose how to think. The concept of being my own best friend is, i feel, reflected in my life experiences and associations. I appreciate how this video has come into my Awareness today. Thank you Tara for this and the many videos I have listened to over the years on this path of disability.
I recognised a feeling of tiredness, exhaustion. As I stayed with it a certain lightness, a certain ease came in.
I realised what was going on inside…exhaustion, overwhelm, pain. Instead of being in a soup of negativity these feelings crystallized- and I saw clearly that they were a predictable result of unrelenting stress.
I felt a sense of freedom
Bringing kindness to my thoughts about my low back pain helped to transform how I responded to that pain. Simply being aware that I can respond to the pain in a more positive way instead of a self condemning way helped me feel lighter and not as heavy.
I was absolutely trapped in the trance of thinking, and fearing, that I can never do enough, causing anxiety to tighten my chest and unsettling my stomach. Trying to bring kindness to that experience seemed to heighten all of those feelings but a space opened up around them, making them easier to hold. Reading everyone’s comments brought me to tears. Like many others have noted, my anxiety shifted to sadness but I also feel more love and compassion.
I am a female, and in my culture growing up females were considered “less than.” I always believed I could never be good enough. I was very harsh and self-critical. After a suicide attempt, I sought help. My counselor asked me why I felt “less than” and why I felt less deserving of love and compassion than anyone else. I thought about that. As a child of God, I am no different than anyone else. I deserve love and compassion, just like everyone else. I am worthy of love and compassion. My life got infinitely better!!! I no longer feel “less than.”
I just kept telling myself that all my feelings are ok. I named each feeling. I noticed I began to feel calmer, less stressed and less confused.
Thankyou Tara for this excellent and timely video, I can identify with it fully. I am my own worst critic but also critical of my husband.
Your comment” please be kind “ resonated with me for me. I will practice this .
?
I noticed that some of the tension in my belly loosened.And I felt more bloodflow to the tight muscles in my neck and upper back.
Thanks Tara, I felt a little bit more. Awareness of my body normally everything seems dead or painful there and my life just revolves around my exhausting thoughts.janet.
I felt such a sense of being brought home. To remembering myself… I was able to see me. I was able to remember it’s a running story I no longer wish to partake in.
(Thank you)
I have very little difficulty dealing with my treatments for cancer I am undergoing currently but am having a really hard time turning over being separated from my son and grandson.
Such a foreign concept for me to act with kindness
I noticed a shift from “contractedness” to “ spaciousness”- from narrow awareness to a more vast awareness, vitality.
?✨?
I felt more love for myself not to be so hard on myself I softened and felt kindness towards myself. It felt good to be with myself and stop abusing myself with judgement.
I realized how emotional I became as I learned someone else understood.
softening, especially jaw, shoulders, solarplexus, widening thorax and belly, betterconscious of the pelvis, grounding and gradually widening of the mind and change in awarness as the breath became slower
I realized that I can be a friend to myself and I don’t always need to rely on others to provide compassion. I can be compassionate for me. Thank you for sharing this video Tara.
Thank you for sharing your journey of awakening with us and the wisdom that has come from that. Slowly allowing acceptance and love for ourselves to become a familiar experience transforms, not only our own sense of self, but how we interact with the world. I am on the journey of discovery.
I found myself with tears flowing down my cheeks. I live with
an adult daughter and granddaughter. Sometimes they make me feel unwelcome and not appreciated. In my own home I feel like
I must somehow be doing something wrong that they don’t treat me with kindness. Then I remembered that I have the power to treat myself with kindness and caring and I felt lighter and a smile
arrived on my face.
When I brought kindness, I was filled with love.
Mary Kay
Hi,
What I was with, was a sense that I am wasting many precious moments in this life. A sense that there is something that I should be doing, contributing – a feeling that I have been given a gift for which I wish to reciprocate more fully than I am. Bringing kindness to these thoughts felt like the sun coming out from behind a cloud. The thoughts didnt change but my experience of thinking them felt more optimistic, exciting, full of potential, rather than the experience of inadequacy that was there before. THANK YOU.
Hazel