I have been making some changes, and I totally love, what is happening and can I be with this, it brings a state of presences, and I am becoming more, self aware, it is a beautiful thing!!
I am noticing the trees, the nature like I have never seen it before!!
Thank-You!
My spirit lightened and I felt affirmed in my own humanity – less alone in my struggles and more connected to my innate goodness and worthiness. Thank you for sharing your own struggle Tara. We’re all in this journey together.
I recognized how fear of failure and being judged has been an underlying limitation pretty much all my life. Asking myself, can I be with this?….I feel the love of acceptance. I can always start now.
Gaby James, Another Field, Springfield, OH, USAsays
I lost my mother last week and am numb.
It was a difficult relationship. She loved me but was also the core of my feelings of unworthiness. I’ve been bringing kindness to her in the last 4 months of 24/7 care I provided. What a time to try to heal myself. I am mourning and trying to find reasons to love myself and go on. And understand her judgement and criticism that began before i was born. In the process of trying to bring kindness to my horrendous state of loss and confusion, i just cannot feel anything right now.
I first felt guilty that I had these unworthy feelings due to belittling remarks , but than felt confirmed in myself that I actually had had a reason to feel that way and that thefeelings of unworthiness and then anger were ok
I feel stuck and so numb with life I just don’t know where to start. I know medication and mindfulness are key applications I need to instill in my daily life but I’ve gotten out of doing it. Thank you for sharing your journey and experience to help me get back into the groove of things and hopefully finding a way to love myself.
I pause. As you suggest. And ask what I would say to a friend in my situation. Almost instantly, the narrative changes to one of kindness and compassion. Its rich and positive.
I felt a sense of acceptance of what I wanted at this point in my life and I did not feel guilty for wanting it. I have moved from mostly caring for others to focusing on my own needs.
I have been feeling fearful about what lies just ahead, EGO thought system. A softening occurred which allowed me to focus on the truth, the present moment. Right here right now everything is as it is suppose to be. A thought of you can handle whatever comes your way.
Thank you Tara, I love listening to your talks. They seem to really sink in and help with healing. I have had growth being able to sit with difficult feelings like anxiety and work through them. This has increased my confidence in my ability to handle my feelings, lessening my fear. HUGE!
I am feeling sad as i have tried for so long to be strong. Especially around people i care about. And all my feelings go back when i was a child things that happened. So much more
I noticed that I was hungry and then felt a strong desire to eat. The feeling of a needing to eat wasn’t driven by hunger but vengeance, like “I’m going to eat whatever I want, not because I’m hungry but because I want to.”
I just started crying a lot from feeling despair of such loneliness. I’m 50 years old and I lost my sense of self and became isolated after a divorce. I find I cannot be with the pain that comes up so I immediately distract myself getting busy with anything.
Thank you Tara for your guidance.
Cris
Hi Cris. I have struggled a lot over the years with loneliness and I still do sometimes…I know how painful it can be..sometimes it’s gut wrenching. You may feel like you’re alone but you’re not. You always have you, the you that was given when you were conceived, call it spirit or soul or whatever you want, she is always there, waiting for you to recognize her, lean into her, knowing that she is fundamentally good, strong, worthy…like a tree…and once you’re with her, you’ll be in a better place to connect with other people. And speaking of trees, touching or hugging or leaning up against a tree is so loving and connecting. I hope this reaches you.
Thank you Ann, your words are very touching. It’s so lovely to get a response, to feel a connection from worlds apart yet we are all connected. It’s just a matter of finding the way. Thanks again and greetings from Perth Australia. Cris
I can feel my entire body relax when I think of being compassionate with myself. It is much easier than forgiving myself and I think it is just as powerful.
More thoughts of growing up with an alcoholic mom who, while I know now was doing the best she knew how, planted words “phony” in my sub-conscious and conscious that still arise to this day more than 50 years later.
It reminded me that underneath whatever ‘it’ is, my heart is underneath it all. Super important for me as I often feel my heart is buried under so much. Thank you sincerely Tara!
It felt good to look at the uncomfortable feelings in a different sense of feeling. I was interupted by another person coming through the room and they usually bother me but I did not let it happen this time. Since the anxiety part deals with this person a lot it was very good timing and spot on.
Todd Rakes, Another Field, Blacksburg, VA, USAsays
My initial response was “This won’t work for me” and I realized that my self aversion is strong and that my inner critic expects me to not get whatever I perceive others will get from an experience. Like my own experience is irrelevant. I have been practicing meditation since I first visited your class in 1997 and I still have many moments of new awareness such as this one. I live away from DC and practice mostly on my own so I truly appreciate these and all your shared content. Thanks Tara. Looking forward to the next one. Todd
I could relate to this topic because at times I don’t give myself enough self-compassion. When doing the exercise I struggled to give compassion to myself. I need to practice giving myself kindness and compassion to better myself to help better serve my clients. Thank you Tara for your knowledge and insight.
Leslie Sperry, Occupational Therapy, MESA, AZ, USAsays
Compounded feeling’s., Conflicting emotions.
* self-compassion what’s that!?
* self-compassion foreign territory, how do I navigate this territory?
*Self-compassion that’s allowed? That’s a thing?
I’m more familiar with the opposite treatment towards myself & seek out word for compassion from others
When I try self-compassion to myself it’s an emotional response,a tearful response. I want to curl up and just hold-hug myself
But difficult to achieve this compared to receiving it from someone else and that feeling of security. But others are not reliable.
Oh how I so want to have the inward compassion – security to myself.
I recognized the resistance I was feeling and how this affected me – soreness in my shoulders, feelings of unease. And so when I brought kindness, I imagined rubbing my shoulders with some scented oil, breathing deeply and just giving myself permission to be. I relaxed more. A sense of calm happened.
I resisted accepting the kindness to myself. I thought…….yes that’s great for other people and they probably really deserve it. But not me. Nobody really knows me and if they did there would be no kindness.
I noticed I was afraid, and rather than simply be caught in or swept by the fear, I sent care to myself which made me feel HELD in the fear. Of course! That’s what people want when they’re afraid. That’s what humans need. I’m human. Oh yeah!
Your statement about self- hatred definitely resonated with me, as this has been an issue I’ve dealt with my whole life. It is so very rare that I allow myself to just be.
With bringing in kindness, I felt calmer, more at ease.
I will share my cat was sitting on my lap at the time , and I do believe she has an intuition as to how I’m feeling.
Deep breaths help as well…
At first I was frustrated. I wanted to feel instant relief and I didn’t. I wanted the block to my heart to melt and it didn’t. I wanted to feel love for who I was at this moment in time. And then my mind shifted to visions of the child I once was, the young teen I once was and the young woman I once was. Now as an older person, I wanted to bring all those past parts of myself together and wrap them in compassion for the incredible journey of my life so far. I felt softer and more open to feeling love for who I once was and who I am now.
My heart opened to a friend who had recently been verbally abusive to me. When it happened I just wanted to end that relationship. Leave. Take off. Walk away.
But this was an isolated incident, not an on-going one.
I’m not sure if and how to resume this friendship, but I feel more kind compassion for his suffering because I know the outburst came from that place.
I felt that no matter what I do it will never be enough. When I sat with that, I knew it was a old story from my childhood and that yes right now I was probably going to continue this but it truely was just a old pattern thought that I was repeating in my head and that with being with that thought, realizing where it was coming from, internally not externally, I could change it with practice of loving myself
Peter Sibner, Physical Therapy, Pittsfield, MA, USAsays
Struggled most of today with this very issue of unworthiness. Frustrated that applications and feelers I’ve put “out there” haven’t been responded to, after several weeks and follow up. Which made me feel unworthy. I know that is just a story I’m telling myself, and sat with it throughout the day. When I bring compassion to the feeling and remind myself that my “story” is just that, a story I’m telling myself and that it’s not true, I feel less attached to the unworthiness. This practice has been a constant in my life these past few weeks, as I transition into what is as yet unknown. Thank you for offering and reminding me that I can be with it.
I’m feeling something between anger and fear, because I have to face a problem, and maybe fight with someone to get my money and my family’s money back, and I’m upset.
When I put kindness to this feeling, I felt that it’s an opportunity to grow and to do the things as I wish, because I’d like to solve this problem without fighting. Putting this into practice soothes the situation.
Thank you for these powerful insights. I began to go deeper into the trance with less judgment and felt more open to redirect the kindness I offer more easily to others that I am prone to ignore and not make a similar kindness gift to myself… instead often chastising my actions thus fueling frustration and disappointment. Thanks again. 🙂
I have been making some changes, and I totally love, what is happening and can I be with this, it brings a state of presences, and I am becoming more, self aware, it is a beautiful thing!!
I am noticing the trees, the nature like I have never seen it before!!
Thank-You!
My spirit lightened and I felt affirmed in my own humanity – less alone in my struggles and more connected to my innate goodness and worthiness. Thank you for sharing your own struggle Tara. We’re all in this journey together.
My first reaction was to avoid what was coming up. But it was right there. Also a sense of relief once it was recognized.
I recognized how fear of failure and being judged has been an underlying limitation pretty much all my life. Asking myself, can I be with this?….I feel the love of acceptance. I can always start now.
I lost my mother last week and am numb.
It was a difficult relationship. She loved me but was also the core of my feelings of unworthiness. I’ve been bringing kindness to her in the last 4 months of 24/7 care I provided. What a time to try to heal myself. I am mourning and trying to find reasons to love myself and go on. And understand her judgement and criticism that began before i was born. In the process of trying to bring kindness to my horrendous state of loss and confusion, i just cannot feel anything right now.
Dear Gaby, I lost my mother in early June. I know I cannot feel your pain, however I am touched by what you have shared and wish you love and healing?
Sadness
I first felt guilty that I had these unworthy feelings due to belittling remarks , but than felt confirmed in myself that I actually had had a reason to feel that way and that thefeelings of unworthiness and then anger were ok
I felt a sense of warmth and mostly relief while I was being kind with my difficult emotion.
I feel stuck and so numb with life I just don’t know where to start. I know medication and mindfulness are key applications I need to instill in my daily life but I’ve gotten out of doing it. Thank you for sharing your journey and experience to help me get back into the groove of things and hopefully finding a way to love myself.
I pause. As you suggest. And ask what I would say to a friend in my situation. Almost instantly, the narrative changes to one of kindness and compassion. Its rich and positive.
I felt a sense of acceptance of what I wanted at this point in my life and I did not feel guilty for wanting it. I have moved from mostly caring for others to focusing on my own needs.
I have been feeling fearful about what lies just ahead, EGO thought system. A softening occurred which allowed me to focus on the truth, the present moment. Right here right now everything is as it is suppose to be. A thought of you can handle whatever comes your way.
I experienced a softening both physical & emotional
So grateful for this exactly when needed
Thank you Tara, I love listening to your talks. They seem to really sink in and help with healing. I have had growth being able to sit with difficult feelings like anxiety and work through them. This has increased my confidence in my ability to handle my feelings, lessening my fear. HUGE!
I am feeling sad as i have tried for so long to be strong. Especially around people i care about. And all my feelings go back when i was a child things that happened. So much more
I noticed that I was hungry and then felt a strong desire to eat. The feeling of a needing to eat wasn’t driven by hunger but vengeance, like “I’m going to eat whatever I want, not because I’m hungry but because I want to.”
I just started crying a lot from feeling despair of such loneliness. I’m 50 years old and I lost my sense of self and became isolated after a divorce. I find I cannot be with the pain that comes up so I immediately distract myself getting busy with anything.
Thank you Tara for your guidance.
Cris
Hi Cris. I have struggled a lot over the years with loneliness and I still do sometimes…I know how painful it can be..sometimes it’s gut wrenching. You may feel like you’re alone but you’re not. You always have you, the you that was given when you were conceived, call it spirit or soul or whatever you want, she is always there, waiting for you to recognize her, lean into her, knowing that she is fundamentally good, strong, worthy…like a tree…and once you’re with her, you’ll be in a better place to connect with other people. And speaking of trees, touching or hugging or leaning up against a tree is so loving and connecting. I hope this reaches you.
Cris
Thank you Ann, your words are very touching. It’s so lovely to get a response, to feel a connection from worlds apart yet we are all connected. It’s just a matter of finding the way. Thanks again and greetings from Perth Australia. Cris
I can feel my entire body relax when I think of being compassionate with myself. It is much easier than forgiving myself and I think it is just as powerful.
I lightened up and let it go. Mine is not to worry over outside events, but to accept my own feelings about them! And to smile…smile.
Nothing much, I struggle to know what I am feeling. Keen to give the next video a try once it’s up though. Thanks
More thoughts of growing up with an alcoholic mom who, while I know now was doing the best she knew how, planted words “phony” in my sub-conscious and conscious that still arise to this day more than 50 years later.
A huge shift inside of me..felt at peace!
It reminded me that underneath whatever ‘it’ is, my heart is underneath it all. Super important for me as I often feel my heart is buried under so much. Thank you sincerely Tara!
It felt good to look at the uncomfortable feelings in a different sense of feeling. I was interupted by another person coming through the room and they usually bother me but I did not let it happen this time. Since the anxiety part deals with this person a lot it was very good timing and spot on.
My initial response was “This won’t work for me” and I realized that my self aversion is strong and that my inner critic expects me to not get whatever I perceive others will get from an experience. Like my own experience is irrelevant. I have been practicing meditation since I first visited your class in 1997 and I still have many moments of new awareness such as this one. I live away from DC and practice mostly on my own so I truly appreciate these and all your shared content. Thanks Tara. Looking forward to the next one. Todd
I could relate to this topic because at times I don’t give myself enough self-compassion. When doing the exercise I struggled to give compassion to myself. I need to practice giving myself kindness and compassion to better myself to help better serve my clients. Thank you Tara for your knowledge and insight.
Melody A.
Compounded feeling’s., Conflicting emotions.
* self-compassion what’s that!?
* self-compassion foreign territory, how do I navigate this territory?
*Self-compassion that’s allowed? That’s a thing?
I’m more familiar with the opposite treatment towards myself & seek out word for compassion from others
When I try self-compassion to myself it’s an emotional response,a tearful response. I want to curl up and just hold-hug myself
But difficult to achieve this compared to receiving it from someone else and that feeling of security. But others are not reliable.
Oh how I so want to have the inward compassion – security to myself.
Asking what’s happening and then saying yes to kindness caused an immediate shift into feeling expansive.
Thankyou, I needed to be reminded to be as compassionate to myself as I am to my friends, family and clients.
Cried at the word “evidence.” Because I have plenty of evidence that my unworthiness is a fact and not simply a feeling as it is for most.
Thank you Tara,
You inspire compassion within me & it appears with many facets.
The wings of our heart
sense the wind of change,
Mindfully
The landscape appears
Beauty and Beast alike
Kindness lifts our heart,
compassion appears.
Sophie H
I love your poem, Sophie.
First, thank you, Tara.
I recognized the resistance I was feeling and how this affected me – soreness in my shoulders, feelings of unease. And so when I brought kindness, I imagined rubbing my shoulders with some scented oil, breathing deeply and just giving myself permission to be. I relaxed more. A sense of calm happened.
I resisted accepting the kindness to myself. I thought…….yes that’s great for other people and they probably really deserve it. But not me. Nobody really knows me and if they did there would be no kindness.
I noticed I was afraid, and rather than simply be caught in or swept by the fear, I sent care to myself which made me feel HELD in the fear. Of course! That’s what people want when they’re afraid. That’s what humans need. I’m human. Oh yeah!
Your statement about self- hatred definitely resonated with me, as this has been an issue I’ve dealt with my whole life. It is so very rare that I allow myself to just be.
With bringing in kindness, I felt calmer, more at ease.
I will share my cat was sitting on my lap at the time , and I do believe she has an intuition as to how I’m feeling.
Deep breaths help as well…
Lighter, stronger and able. Strong sense that I was okay. Worry was completely absent
Felt a relaxing as I brought kindness…
At first I was frustrated. I wanted to feel instant relief and I didn’t. I wanted the block to my heart to melt and it didn’t. I wanted to feel love for who I was at this moment in time. And then my mind shifted to visions of the child I once was, the young teen I once was and the young woman I once was. Now as an older person, I wanted to bring all those past parts of myself together and wrap them in compassion for the incredible journey of my life so far. I felt softer and more open to feeling love for who I once was and who I am now.
I began to feel sadness and pain but the kindness I offered myself kept the tears at bay. I no longer needed to cry.
I felt a freedom when I was there for my sadness. I’m not stuck in the feeling or the belief. Thank you.
I felt a surprising upliftment in my mood!
In allowing kindness, I felt a softening of the contraction and discomfort that I am feeling.?
My heart opened to a friend who had recently been verbally abusive to me. When it happened I just wanted to end that relationship. Leave. Take off. Walk away.
But this was an isolated incident, not an on-going one.
I’m not sure if and how to resume this friendship, but I feel more kind compassion for his suffering because I know the outburst came from that place.
I felt that no matter what I do it will never be enough. When I sat with that, I knew it was a old story from my childhood and that yes right now I was probably going to continue this but it truely was just a old pattern thought that I was repeating in my head and that with being with that thought, realizing where it was coming from, internally not externally, I could change it with practice of loving myself
Struggled most of today with this very issue of unworthiness. Frustrated that applications and feelers I’ve put “out there” haven’t been responded to, after several weeks and follow up. Which made me feel unworthy. I know that is just a story I’m telling myself, and sat with it throughout the day. When I bring compassion to the feeling and remind myself that my “story” is just that, a story I’m telling myself and that it’s not true, I feel less attached to the unworthiness. This practice has been a constant in my life these past few weeks, as I transition into what is as yet unknown. Thank you for offering and reminding me that I can be with it.
I’m feeling something between anger and fear, because I have to face a problem, and maybe fight with someone to get my money and my family’s money back, and I’m upset.
When I put kindness to this feeling, I felt that it’s an opportunity to grow and to do the things as I wish, because I’d like to solve this problem without fighting. Putting this into practice soothes the situation.
Thank you so much for the video!
I felt a tenderness within opening up a well of emotions and then a release of tension. Thank you?
It relaxed the pain
Thank you for these powerful insights. I began to go deeper into the trance with less judgment and felt more open to redirect the kindness I offer more easily to others that I am prone to ignore and not make a similar kindness gift to myself… instead often chastising my actions thus fueling frustration and disappointment. Thanks again. 🙂
Calmness, strength, not alone and able to move forward