[858] Radical Self-Compassion PLC 1 Confirmed [Tara Brach]

Part 1

Feelings of Unworthiness

Part 2

Silence Self-Judgment

Part 2

Silence Self-Judgment

Part 3

Shift out of Blame

Part 3

Shift out of Blame

How to Overcome Feeling Unworthy and Undeserving

What happened when you tried to bring kindness to what you were experiencing during the video?

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1,248 Comments

Rachel Green, Psychology, GB says

I felt sadness when I offered myself space to be with what I was feeling

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Elly Hengeveld, Physical Therapy, Wimberley , TX, USA says

By answering “what’s happening” I became aware of this old feeling of unworthiness if which I thought it was ling gone; I am having a challenge with a co-worker and in trying to understand her reactions with compassion and empathy (talking behind my back, non communication with me) I started to feel liw moods more regularly and again that feeling if unworthiness.
The question “can I be my best friend” filled me with energy, acceptance and joy. Can I be kind towards what happens to me (and my co-worker’s state) seems to put more live into the whole situation.
Thanks for this.

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Catherine Miller, Coach, CA says

I felt a softening within, in my heart
a relaxing of the muscles in my chest
a sense of some acceptance of me
and with that turning to return home to myself,
I am feeling a bit stronger and more confident in attending to what is stressing and overwhelming me.

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Jane Ineson, Other, AU says

Thank you. Very relevant to my struggle to be with myself, and beautifully expressed.
I have been questioning my feeling of obligation to continue with a therapist that I was finding unprofessional, but not sure why I felt that way. What you said made me realise that I felt compassion for her vulnerability and her unawareness that I could see her hiding from me.
It made me realise I had wanted to resolve the problem (and help her) when I am paying her to help me! Thanks

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Linda Cunningham, Teacher, Salt Lake City, UT, USA says

I was berating myself for not feeling up to writing or cleaning my house, or being with people. I felt lonely and cut off from my own self-worth and from the love from friends and family.

Then, I tried to allow kindness into my “mess.” And I quickly “cut myself a break.” I’m 78 years old and have just completed three weeks in Europe, walking and walking the cobbled streets, and I can’t expect to step right back into the many paths that I’m fortunate to have. My energy for connection can return–and more quickly if I accept my tired body and mind just for this moment–or this day–whatever it takes.

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Charmaine Host, Clergy, GB says

All I an say is this was so timely for me.

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Asa Frost, Psychotherapy, DE says

I feel the struggle inside is getting to a stop, it´s becoming quiet, I start breathing more consciously, I feel like on another level.

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Yana Llewell, Another Field, NZ says

confusion, restlessness, anxiety, unworthiness, my chest tightened. I felt like crying but I couldn’t and then a feeling of surrender.

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Ellen Presn, Nursing, Asheville , NC, USA says

Thank you, Tara! As I brought kindness to my awareness I felt love. I guess that’s where LovingKindness comes from.

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Jay Baker, Other, AU says

I got emotional looking into myself an feel im doing all that i can already on this new journey i am on. Alot has changed for me from my old dark place… my heart felt fuller then started thinking of my friends that may need this

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maria uzbekistan, Other, ZA says

thank you so much for this. I have struggled with self-criticism and an inner critic and judge who is incredibly strong, for as long as i can remember. despite years of Jungian analysis and a fairly regular meditation practice. Recently i’ve been realising how this is perhaps my biggest obstacle. But it is very hard to shift. When I listened to/watched this video and did the exercise I began to cry, as I felt how much self-judgement, anxiety and disappointment is inside me at the moment. I do feel more self-compassion now. i can sense that this approach is the way forwards and it is just about practising it. I am going to remember these two questions of “what is happening now?” and “can I be with this?” thank you so much.

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Bernard Nel, Another Field, ZA says

Thanks Dr Brach. You’re words never fail to lift me.
Looking at my feelings of worthlessness is a string sensation. Looking at these string feelings, with openness, without judgement or without getting lost in them, made me feel like i could sit with them. It was bearable. I can be with these. And they get better when i do.

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Arva S, Counseling, IN says

Thank you Tara for sharing the two questions and your story with us. When I did the small exercise I felt a smile coming up and I understood that I can use some self compassion and deal with what I am facing.

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Elizabeth Grant, Counseling, GB says

Thank you for sharing this video. I recognise, as a Counsellor that I spend time encouraging clients to become aware through mindfulness and encouraging them to show kindness and compassion for themselves. However you have made me aware that I need to spend a lot more time showing kindness and compassion to myself. Thank you.

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Nalini Persaud, Other, GB says

I am learning self love and self care at the moment. It’s so reassuring to hear u speak about this as it resonates so much of how I feel sometimes. It feels like synchronicity. Thank you ???

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Ailene Matthews, Other, GB says

I have suffered from depression not liking myself and anxiety since i was a child. Having not spoke till the age of 3. As i got older i couldnt keep friends and became a ‘pleaser’ person intrying to make friends but i was used and abused by these. So now im lonely my family has more dramas tgat anykbe else i know and i dont kniw hiw to love mysekf and just be enough!

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John Gr, Counseling, GB says

Bringing kindness to my life experience of addiction, alcoholism, from my initial feeling of my needs not being met as a child and throughout my life, at this present moment I understand my needs were met all along, only that my needs were not what I thought they were, my personal view and feelings are that I needed to be broken to have something to recreate and mend, which has made me the person I am today, where I do have self compassion.

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Eirini Tzavara, Another Field, GR says

My heart softened. My mind calmed down. Such a profound experience to just listen carefully what is happening inside me. I was ready to cry and suddenly I felt connected to myself again!

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Olive Houston, Another Field, IE says

Thank you Tara.
Physically, I felt a softness coming over my shoulders and neck. Feelings of acceptance, some self doubt continues to hang about.

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Lorna Bryant, Another Field, GB says

I saw the deep sorrow and self disgust and I was a child so I reached out as an adult with open arms and the child melted into tears, sobbing in my arms. I could feel immense pain in my heart and body and a blockage in my throat.

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Nicole Hagenbeek, Another Field, NL says

I got emotionally and tears were falling over my face…..

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Cynthia Bell, Nursing, Grand Rapids , MI, USA says

Thank you for this brief video. I felt a warmth of knowing everything was going to be okay.

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Sabine Itze, Stress Management, SE says

I felt a kind of ease and that it’s ok.

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Barbro Lundin, Other, NO says

Lovely message. So touching. Thank you for sharing your experience, knowledge, and wisdom.

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Patty Pye, Another Field, AU says

I felt regret and fear that I have wasted experiences finances love..I fear that I have never cared enough to end addictive behaviours smoking. .spending needing all to compensate for intimacy
I felt mistrust of myself ….but a willingness as I know I show much more compassion now than I did when I was younger….Thank you Tara

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Tracy Roberts, Other, GB says

I wanted to sleep.

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Nikki Cotterill, Psychotherapy, GB says

I was overcome with grief and I imagined hugging my child self, curled up in my lap.

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Colleen Hillier, Psychotherapy, GB says

Relief comfort acceptance of my humanness – personal compassion and empathy entered my heart

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Anna Hubrich, Coach, DE says

Thank you for sharing Tara, I loved the story of your hiking experience with your friend. Treating myself as I would a friend or recommending this to others is one of my dearest practices. Whenever I notice I am being hard to myself in a situation or a decision, I take a step backwards, looking at myself with loving eyes like a caring mother or best friend. This immediately connects me with my heart and compassion and allows a much more openhearted response, melting the hardness…

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Kay G, Other, NZ says

Thank you for your exercise and sharing!
I experienced a warm glow that seemed to spread through my body, mostly the upper chest area and I had a deep feeling of warmth and being loved.

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Valary, Nursing, AU says

Thank you today I needed this to shift these thoughts and feelings and with the suggestions by you, I feel calmer, better and happier. Isn’t it funny how this came across my emails when I needed it most thank you again Feeling blessed

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Veronica Toescu, Psychotherapy, GB says

I received a gentle hug with love. A hug, saying: I am with you.

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Anne Roosen, Another Field, BE says

I felt sadness and a certain kind of resistance.

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tim daniels, Another Field, raleigh, NC, USA says

lots of guilt & regrets. undeserving of love. self hatred is hell on earth.” sometimes I feel like a motherless child” rings true. who ever wrote that song knew a thing or two. becoming a human being is very difficult but what else is there to do.

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J E, Other, Beckley, WV, USA says

There were thoughts about what could fix this, and wondering if these unpleasant feelings were ever going to change. Anxiety that I will have to live like this for the rest of my life.

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Kurara M., Another Field, Napa, CA, USA says

I felt a sadness for myself which has haunted me since I was very small.
( I sincerely wish to move past this feeling of never being loved by my family, by the nuns in the convent where I grew up, by the many lovers I have taken in order to imagine that I was being loved.)
I felt I was unworthy of kindness and I was a bit uncomfortable. It was a new feeling, to think of myself in a loving way.

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Eline Beurskens, Other, NL says

Thank you very much Tara & team. I love your work. This video really resonates with me. Your heart meditations help remind me to bring compassion towards myself. This provides space and kindness and open me to to seek new possibilities. Thank you! ??

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edward, Other, PH says

I notice and feel that sense of childlike innocence peaceful calmness and that joyful connectedness with all being.

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Aida Hayes, Nursing, IE says

Kindness brought softness and a willingness to work with myself without judgement and harshness

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Tara Plummer, Other, GB says

Hi Tara, I really need to be more kind to myself. Treat me as I do others. Thank you. My name is Tara!

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Catriona Mc Donald, Psychotherapy, IE says

I breathed more deeply?

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Katrina Campbell, Another Field, AU says

My anxious stomach settled a little but then I resisted. More practice I think.
Thank you

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A McFarlane, Teacher, GB says

I saw that the views were those of my childhood, of my parents. They felt less my own.

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E S, Another Field, GB says

I can sit with difficult feelings but when I try to bring compassion in, I feel like crying as there’s much pain there… Yet, it’s difficult for me to cry for some reason. Thank you for the video ?

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Claire Livingston, Student, AU says

I felt a little relief come over me. Almost like a rivers current had come to wash away the intensity every so slightly. I felt ‘ok’ and held by my higher self in that moment xxxxxx

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Mary Ruth Strzeszewski, Another Field, Bronx, NY, USA says

I felt more optimistic.

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Leah Mathis, Psychotherapy, Eugene, OR, USA says

Hi sweet Tara thanks for the video! I sure hear you. I find myself wanting to fix(by that I mean help,heal, etc) the world, me, everyone around me, my community,etc. I’m a bit of a compulsive Golden-Ruler. Big huge heart- loads of love and compassion.. lots of disappointment, mostly in myself. My relative powerlessness is frustrating- as though I will never be able to do enough. The self judgement about not being good enough is serious business. I notice when I try to bring in kindness, self love, and self acceptance in to myself, there’s a wall there… It’s there, the kindness etc, I see it, but I’m not quite able to reach it…

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Ariane Wild, Teacher, CH says

I felt the energy in my tummy and feeling closer to myself. By listening to myself I already care more.

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Nicole S., Medicine, DE says

I have felt a little more relaxed ( Feelings of Anger, Unworthiness, Fear came up), plus there was a feeling of Thankfulness, that I adress my feelings, and want to work on them.

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Tracy George, Another Field, GB says

I don’t feel I’m worthy and I don’t feel I deserve to be happy and I expect everything to go wrong in my relationship. I’m not kind to myself

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