I’m crying now and feeling sad, but my heart is open. So good to be in my heart-space. I’m judging myself a lot, but not with words. Then I feel so terrible and when I put it into words, I know I’m judging myself and it feels like my heart is closed. I love this 3 step heartspace exercise. Thank you!!!
I keep judging myself for not being able to stay on this new health food plan. I am in the throws of menopause and my body is doing all sorts of things I don’t always understand. Gaining weight is one of them. I don’t feel comfortable with the extra weight. I started a plant based , anti-inflammatory diet plan. But sometimes I succumb to chocolate or a cracker. I am not loosing the weight. I blame myself for not being able to be more compliant with the plan. I tried it with this thought of blaming myself for being weak. I told myself that those feeling are ok and that there is a lot my body is going through right now. I told myself that I was doing the best I could and that tomorrow was another day I could try to be better. I talked to myself as a child, like you said, and I did feel a bit of relief. The child in me knows how hard I work at things and fail but to get up, and try again. eventually I will get it right on my own time. Its ok to feel frustrated with this new diet plan. I get better each week. I liked it. I think it gave me some relief. I am afraid it will give me permission to cheat, but when I think about it I was cheating anyway so damn if I do, damn if I don’t. I will keep on working on it.
I tried your exercise. It was successful! Initially, I defined three ways I judge myself to be wanting.
Then- the heart space. Being aware of my feelings -in fact, the feelings that were created by being aware of my self judgement — the second arrow.
Then dispersing or sending out kindness. I was grateful for this reminder. And it left me feeling better— no question. More love for myself and others .
I can be so compassionate to others but got really stuck with trying to express kindness to move from heart to heart space. It was a real stumbling block. Interesting information to notice there.
I realized past patterns of being / feeling “less than” and “not good enough” resonating deep within me. Over the years I have come to know that these are feelings and false beliefs. But currently being faced with some significant challenges they have resurfaced. As in the healing done in the past, being with them in kindness allows for a shift of awareness which allows me to connect with an inner knowing that these feelings arose for and resulting behavioral beliefs were just survival mechanisms of my childhood and no longer serve me. It was easier to comfort my inner child with kindness. It was very pleasant to do this again. The self critic can be very sneaky and if it runs my mind, it can make it harder to remember that self compassion is a wonderful step towards shifting my compass to healing, self love and self acceptance.
I find some subtle self-judging when I look at my thoughts. My mind tends to prefer something different from what is happening now and urges me to keep doing something. This means I am not enough now, very subtle. Once these thoughts are realized, they just dissolve. Thanks so much for the self-inquiry meditation, Tara.
I saw that what I was thinking wasn’t true. Meaning my self judgement or what I was judging about myself was incorrect. I saw this by asking myself the question why? do you think that ? ( the first arrow):And then answered it and saw my answer was the correct thinking . So it changed my perspective of myself and I did that with 2nd arrow and asked why do you think that? And got a truer answer. I told myself you’re okay. You’re a good person no matter what so believe it . You just saw that you’re negative thinking about yourself isn’t true.
Even with the tremendous amount of empathy and compassion that I can have on any given day for others from clients to friends to family, and even though it is my life motto to be a greater expression of love ever day, I still struggled to disconnect the thoughts and judgments that arise internally when I try to move from head to heart to heart space. It’s almost as though some part of me like Tara talked about, feels if I disconnect the thoughts then the tremendous pain the dwells within will do one of two opposites: grow so huge it engulfs me or disappear as if it never existed.
I cried. pain in my throat n face where I carry hurt. I was able to feel my hurt. then I let it go, released it and realized what it was. I know heart space told me it was ok. the waves of the ocean belong and its ok.
Thank you Tara. I had to pause the video a time or two to scribble down some notes. I find that I am forever having to “Be firm with my Puppy Mind” without being judgmental, its a fine line!
I sat down tonight and went through all 3 videos again, I so wish I could keep them, as with all your teachings, once is not enough!
Thank you, Thank you. from the bottom of my heart.
Is it possible, that at my age and stage of life, to learn and change my attitude on this subject? Can I truely walk through the steps nessisary to release my self negative messages.
I very much enjoy Tara’s teachings. I must admit, it is difficult work to move to self-care and forgiving oneself. I have moved away from my meditating and I know I need to return to it. Tara is the person I first listened to, and hearing her again speaking with such wisdom, is just what I need.
I realise that I don’t deserve the feelings my inner critic generates. I have had a lifetime of self denigration. Usually induced by condemnation of others. I was sexually abused by my grandfather for 10 years, from the age of four. When my mother found out she blamed me. This has been deeply ingrained and caused me to develop unhealthy coping skills and a belief that I will always suffer, be a victim in spite of having had a successful career as an artist and raised two children as a single Mum. My daughter is a high acheiver, Intelligent, caring and personable. I divorced my alcoholic husband 20 years ago in order to protect my children. Sadly my my son has schizophrenia/ substance abuse and has been imprisoned frequently. He is deeply traumatised and getting sober is a tremendous struggle for him. I am about to take out yet another intervention against him for no contact. This has been an eternal source of grief for me. My guilt and despair for his future is pervasive. I blame myself and find this so difficult to shift. When he is unwell he is abusive towards me. I am deeply ashamed for his predicament yet love him as intesely as I do my daughter. Practising tough love is the most difficult thing I have ever had to do yet my own health is precarious,
After watching this video i said to myself “I Am Enough”.
There are thousands of reasons that I have believed into existence as to why I’m not good enough. I’ve believed that it started already in my mothers womb and it’s been a lifetime’s work of self-discovery. Just a simple basic need, a lifetime’s work. How hard one can be on one self. Very sad.
I felt my child relax in me. I thought you had left me again. I realize she is with me always and needs the grace I give everyone else. The judgements and self loathing are so painful. I never try to hurt others with that.
Very powerful!
I’m crying now and feeling sad, but my heart is open. So good to be in my heart-space. I’m judging myself a lot, but not with words. Then I feel so terrible and when I put it into words, I know I’m judging myself and it feels like my heart is closed. I love this 3 step heartspace exercise. Thank you!!!
I keep judging myself for not being able to stay on this new health food plan. I am in the throws of menopause and my body is doing all sorts of things I don’t always understand. Gaining weight is one of them. I don’t feel comfortable with the extra weight. I started a plant based , anti-inflammatory diet plan. But sometimes I succumb to chocolate or a cracker. I am not loosing the weight. I blame myself for not being able to be more compliant with the plan. I tried it with this thought of blaming myself for being weak. I told myself that those feeling are ok and that there is a lot my body is going through right now. I told myself that I was doing the best I could and that tomorrow was another day I could try to be better. I talked to myself as a child, like you said, and I did feel a bit of relief. The child in me knows how hard I work at things and fail but to get up, and try again. eventually I will get it right on my own time. Its ok to feel frustrated with this new diet plan. I get better each week. I liked it. I think it gave me some relief. I am afraid it will give me permission to cheat, but when I think about it I was cheating anyway so damn if I do, damn if I don’t. I will keep on working on it.
I tried your exercise. It was successful! Initially, I defined three ways I judge myself to be wanting.
Then- the heart space. Being aware of my feelings -in fact, the feelings that were created by being aware of my self judgement — the second arrow.
Then dispersing or sending out kindness. I was grateful for this reminder. And it left me feeling better— no question. More love for myself and others .
I can be so compassionate to others but got really stuck with trying to express kindness to move from heart to heart space. It was a real stumbling block. Interesting information to notice there.
I realized past patterns of being / feeling “less than” and “not good enough” resonating deep within me. Over the years I have come to know that these are feelings and false beliefs. But currently being faced with some significant challenges they have resurfaced. As in the healing done in the past, being with them in kindness allows for a shift of awareness which allows me to connect with an inner knowing that these feelings arose for and resulting behavioral beliefs were just survival mechanisms of my childhood and no longer serve me. It was easier to comfort my inner child with kindness. It was very pleasant to do this again. The self critic can be very sneaky and if it runs my mind, it can make it harder to remember that self compassion is a wonderful step towards shifting my compass to healing, self love and self acceptance.
I find some subtle self-judging when I look at my thoughts. My mind tends to prefer something different from what is happening now and urges me to keep doing something. This means I am not enough now, very subtle. Once these thoughts are realized, they just dissolve. Thanks so much for the self-inquiry meditation, Tara.
I saw that what I was thinking wasn’t true. Meaning my self judgement or what I was judging about myself was incorrect. I saw this by asking myself the question why? do you think that ? ( the first arrow):And then answered it and saw my answer was the correct thinking . So it changed my perspective of myself and I did that with 2nd arrow and asked why do you think that? And got a truer answer. I told myself you’re okay. You’re a good person no matter what so believe it . You just saw that you’re negative thinking about yourself isn’t true.
Still struggling with my feelings and am closed off to trying. Its late, so I took notes so I could be refreshed to try this in the morning.
i feel called out, but in the best way possible, so thank you
Even with the tremendous amount of empathy and compassion that I can have on any given day for others from clients to friends to family, and even though it is my life motto to be a greater expression of love ever day, I still struggled to disconnect the thoughts and judgments that arise internally when I try to move from head to heart to heart space. It’s almost as though some part of me like Tara talked about, feels if I disconnect the thoughts then the tremendous pain the dwells within will do one of two opposites: grow so huge it engulfs me or disappear as if it never existed.
No matter what i do, i can not seem to connect with my thoughts or feelings. 🙁
It helped me to release that I am not stupid and unlovable as I had bee told.
I cried. pain in my throat n face where I carry hurt. I was able to feel my hurt. then I let it go, released it and realized what it was. I know heart space told me it was ok. the waves of the ocean belong and its ok.
Your video has made me realise that there is something I can do to help myself with the constant “ self judgement “
Thank you Tara. I had to pause the video a time or two to scribble down some notes. I find that I am forever having to “Be firm with my Puppy Mind” without being judgmental, its a fine line!
I sat down tonight and went through all 3 videos again, I so wish I could keep them, as with all your teachings, once is not enough!
Thank you, Thank you. from the bottom of my heart.
So powerful to open to our emotions and vulnerability and feel more alive
Is it possible, that at my age and stage of life, to learn and change my attitude on this subject? Can I truely walk through the steps nessisary to release my self negative messages.
I very much enjoy Tara’s teachings. I must admit, it is difficult work to move to self-care and forgiving oneself. I have moved away from my meditating and I know I need to return to it. Tara is the person I first listened to, and hearing her again speaking with such wisdom, is just what I need.
I realise that I don’t deserve the feelings my inner critic generates. I have had a lifetime of self denigration. Usually induced by condemnation of others. I was sexually abused by my grandfather for 10 years, from the age of four. When my mother found out she blamed me. This has been deeply ingrained and caused me to develop unhealthy coping skills and a belief that I will always suffer, be a victim in spite of having had a successful career as an artist and raised two children as a single Mum. My daughter is a high acheiver, Intelligent, caring and personable. I divorced my alcoholic husband 20 years ago in order to protect my children. Sadly my my son has schizophrenia/ substance abuse and has been imprisoned frequently. He is deeply traumatised and getting sober is a tremendous struggle for him. I am about to take out yet another intervention against him for no contact. This has been an eternal source of grief for me. My guilt and despair for his future is pervasive. I blame myself and find this so difficult to shift. When he is unwell he is abusive towards me. I am deeply ashamed for his predicament yet love him as intesely as I do my daughter. Practising tough love is the most difficult thing I have ever had to do yet my own health is precarious,
It is freeing and will be a great practice to repeat over every day and anytime a difficult situation arises. Thank you Tara
After watching this video i said to myself “I Am Enough”.
There are thousands of reasons that I have believed into existence as to why I’m not good enough. I’ve believed that it started already in my mothers womb and it’s been a lifetime’s work of self-discovery. Just a simple basic need, a lifetime’s work. How hard one can be on one self. Very sad.
Curious how this could be applied to women (or men) in abusive relationships?
I felt my child relax in me. I thought you had left me again. I realize she is with me always and needs the grace I give everyone else. The judgements and self loathing are so painful. I never try to hurt others with that.