That’s funny that l have come to realize, l cannot concurrently hold blame and healing at the same time. I am now working on forgiveness in my life.
There is a big feeling of having the rug pulled out from me financially, even spiritually that l will be harmed. I am trying to diminish these feelings as they are things that keep me from growing.
The world seemed more friendly at one time and people seemed nicer.
I realize my fears have overshadowed any goodness that exists. I believe in the back of my mind all the goodness that ever was is here now and just needs to be believed and tapped into. That’s why l’m here. To rediscover it again . The light is stronger than the darkness. I need to trust in it. You are helping finding the way to access the path to get there. Thank you.
I could feel my throat expanding, and then I felt myself smiling. There was a piece of time of guilty pleasure, enjoying peace. I just sat and smiled for a while.
I have been working with mindfulness meditation for a number of years and have gained so much knowledge from Tibetan Meditation. Tara has also been so instructive and insightful and this is a practice I need to do still to this day and moment.
Thank you Tara.
Margaret
The second arrow conjures up feelings of judgment and I end up labelling myself with all kinds of labels : ‘crazy’ ‘neurotic’ ‘pathetic’ ‘insecure’ and if I were to stop judging myself I would definitely feel more ‘relaxed’ inside of myself but I hesitate because I wonder, “Yeah, but would I feel satisfied”? ?
I felt a heaviness in my chest/heart space. Breathing into that space and pulling in positive energy I felt a little lightening of the heaviness. I have done these types of exercises before and I know they work. It’s time to be back to a regular practice. Thank you Tara!
Carrie Lap, Another Field, Sacramento , CA, USAsays
I was really able to get in touch with that young part of myself. I feel there is so much more work there. It feels like the critic in there is constantly shooting the arrow at that young vulnerable part. As I did the exercise I had compassion. I also realize that with others, I want to shield them from My negative emotion and by doing so don’t want to go through this experience I’m having with them, that it is unsafe. And certainly that was true in my childhood. But now I need to be willing to go through these experiences with trusted people.
I’m very critical of me. It seems like it’s going to take years to heal from the bruises I’ve inflicted upon myself. I’m not afraid of failure. I’ve failed before. I’m used to it. I’m tired of failing at something then beating myself up for not getting it right in the first place. I blame myself all the time. And it puts me down into a deep depression. I’ll do these steps. And we shall see. I’m ready for freedom from this harsh self judgement. Thank you.
Anger came up which surprised me. Then, I was able to do as suggested and talk to myself kindly. I felt a sense of parenting myself and making the emotion of anger okay. I felt very present.
Thank you, Tara, for this teaching. I need.this.because I shoot 2nd arrow at myself badly when I unintentionally hurt someone I love. I feel so badly I’ve hurt.them. so I have been working on forgiving myself..and of course I take responsibility and apologize…but staying kind to myself for my humanness is critical so i can see and.change whatever needs changed.
Thank you Tara. I listen to your podcast and am familiar with the “second arrow”- listening to this lesson and being reminded that I AM the ocean – so the waves are part of ME- helps a lot as I am challenged with family relationships and my judgment and expectations. Thank you again!
I wrote an exttraordinarily lengthy about my life circumstances and have lost It due to a temperamental IPad. I don’t have the energy to rewrite it again!
Nevertheless the process was cathartic for me.
I wAtch Tara Brach inspirational and watch heer Youtube clips over and over and have just bought her book “Radical Acceptance,” as advised by my psychologist .
Brian Vaughan, Psychotherapy, Fredericksburg , VA, USAsays
Good morning all, I did this again this morning. I reacted to a person’s comment re “disagreeing with the LGBTQ lifestyle.” My ego says I am usually the one to help people to calm when trigger. However, this was at a local festival. I feel strongly re such issues of acceptance. I am a psycho therapist with a significant religious background. Today, I sling the arrow of self blame. I breathed into it. I feel more calm.
Thanks!
Brian Vaughan
I have so much anger, I think nothing will work for me. I simply won’t let it. I do have a lot of empathy and compassion for my peers and clients, though. I am a recovery coach, wellness coach, intern (MSW) and an ADC – trainee. I love what I do! I think your video was great. I had a therapist that centered her practice around Heart-Centered Peace and she was awesome but recently moved back up to Massachusetts. Do you have more on Heartspace? If I choose to let this help I think this could benefit me. Thank you for what you do. Namaste!!
This really touched me personally as my name is Jennifer and my inner child and childhood nickname, Jenny. The second arrow I was introduced to last year while at a Dharma Sanctuary here in Hawaii. I have been practicing it ever since, and while I find myself less fully triggered, feeling feelings I have condemned is not an easy task. Sitting with the pain, and holding space for my “grown self” as I allow the inner child in me to process in a safe space has been life changing. Thank you ♥️
I find Tara’s talks and books all so helpful including these videos. And the reminder of the ocean and waves. I have to hear this message over and over I think as I am still struggling despite much more awareness and compassion for myself with the experience of self blame and shame. It seems to attach to so many of my experiences, and I notice then how quickly I blame myself for that self judgement and shame too …for still experiencing distress and shame feelings “despite all the inner work I’ve done…. “ it’s like a third arrow in a way.
In my practice I’ve noticed folk get confused with the acceptance of reactive emotions thinking at first we’re saying It’s fine for me to be jealous/sarcastic/grumpy…when they understand that allowing the emotion ‘to be’ takes the sting out of its tail and the body and mind broaden and open its, well an eye opener! TKU
I began to slow my judgement of myself, and bought awareness into my breathing and my heart space. I am very aware that I judge myself constantly and want to stop that second arrow. I know awareness is the first step to making change, so I am eager to practice the exercise.
Thank you for sharing this practice. It feels So good when there comes this ease wave of Release in the heart space. This soft kindness by telling myself thats okay to feel this Feelings and there is nothing to judge really brings more ease and kindness up.
what is the difference between blaming yourself and recognising, acknowledging and accepting your own culpability in certain events? is it necessary to accept some portion of the blame to be able to forgive yourself and those you have previously blamed for the pain you feel?
Realized I judged myself for not teaching my kids to love themselves first, then I realized I wasn’t taught that so how could I have taught it over 30 years ago, but I could show them that it’s something that’s never too late to learn. Thank you will continue this practice and looking forward to the next.
I felt calm…less insecure about my abilities…reminded me I have the power and ability to do this/my job well.
I never thought that blaming myself could turn into a block…
I’ll have to practice this. I really felt some seconds of calmness. Thank you, Tara! ❤️
I find the image of the two arrows quite freeing.
That’s funny that l have come to realize, l cannot concurrently hold blame and healing at the same time. I am now working on forgiveness in my life.
There is a big feeling of having the rug pulled out from me financially, even spiritually that l will be harmed. I am trying to diminish these feelings as they are things that keep me from growing.
The world seemed more friendly at one time and people seemed nicer.
I realize my fears have overshadowed any goodness that exists. I believe in the back of my mind all the goodness that ever was is here now and just needs to be believed and tapped into. That’s why l’m here. To rediscover it again . The light is stronger than the darkness. I need to trust in it. You are helping finding the way to access the path to get there. Thank you.
Felt my emotions shift
I loved the analogy of the heart as ocean and the waves as the ups and downs..it resonated.
Started to relax and not feel quite so neglectful
I could feel my throat expanding, and then I felt myself smiling. There was a piece of time of guilty pleasure, enjoying peace. I just sat and smiled for a while.
I have been working with mindfulness meditation for a number of years and have gained so much knowledge from Tibetan Meditation. Tara has also been so instructive and insightful and this is a practice I need to do still to this day and moment.
Thank you Tara.
Margaret
The second arrow conjures up feelings of judgment and I end up labelling myself with all kinds of labels : ‘crazy’ ‘neurotic’ ‘pathetic’ ‘insecure’ and if I were to stop judging myself I would definitely feel more ‘relaxed’ inside of myself but I hesitate because I wonder, “Yeah, but would I feel satisfied”? ?
Wonderful along with difficult..thank u??
Strange
Well done in the 10 minute format. I want to watch it daily.
I felt a heaviness in my chest/heart space. Breathing into that space and pulling in positive energy I felt a little lightening of the heaviness. I have done these types of exercises before and I know they work. It’s time to be back to a regular practice. Thank you Tara!
I was really able to get in touch with that young part of myself. I feel there is so much more work there. It feels like the critic in there is constantly shooting the arrow at that young vulnerable part. As I did the exercise I had compassion. I also realize that with others, I want to shield them from My negative emotion and by doing so don’t want to go through this experience I’m having with them, that it is unsafe. And certainly that was true in my childhood. But now I need to be willing to go through these experiences with trusted people.
I’m very critical of me. It seems like it’s going to take years to heal from the bruises I’ve inflicted upon myself. I’m not afraid of failure. I’ve failed before. I’m used to it. I’m tired of failing at something then beating myself up for not getting it right in the first place. I blame myself all the time. And it puts me down into a deep depression. I’ll do these steps. And we shall see. I’m ready for freedom from this harsh self judgement. Thank you.
???
Anger came up which surprised me. Then, I was able to do as suggested and talk to myself kindly. I felt a sense of parenting myself and making the emotion of anger okay. I felt very present.
Thank you, Tara, for this teaching. I need.this.because I shoot 2nd arrow at myself badly when I unintentionally hurt someone I love. I feel so badly I’ve hurt.them. so I have been working on forgiving myself..and of course I take responsibility and apologize…but staying kind to myself for my humanness is critical so i can see and.change whatever needs changed.
I am puzzled why this video is such a repetition of the first.
I find this succinct and helpful, something that needs a lot of practice to retrain our habits of thought/feeling
I didn’t realize blaming was a block that I always use to change my path of how to handle things. Thank you!
I found compassion for myself and my partner.
Thank you Tara. I listen to your podcast and am familiar with the “second arrow”- listening to this lesson and being reminded that I AM the ocean – so the waves are part of ME- helps a lot as I am challenged with family relationships and my judgment and expectations. Thank you again!
I wrote an exttraordinarily lengthy about my life circumstances and have lost It due to a temperamental IPad. I don’t have the energy to rewrite it again!
Nevertheless the process was cathartic for me.
I wAtch Tara Brach inspirational and watch heer Youtube clips over and over and have just bought her book “Radical Acceptance,” as advised by my psychologist .
joy
Thank you for helping me to link back to my heart.
Good morning all, I did this again this morning. I reacted to a person’s comment re “disagreeing with the LGBTQ lifestyle.” My ego says I am usually the one to help people to calm when trigger. However, this was at a local festival. I feel strongly re such issues of acceptance. I am a psycho therapist with a significant religious background. Today, I sling the arrow of self blame. I breathed into it. I feel more calm.
Thanks!
Brian Vaughan
Awareness of heart in self. then a letting go – space – calm. ta.
I have so much anger, I think nothing will work for me. I simply won’t let it. I do have a lot of empathy and compassion for my peers and clients, though. I am a recovery coach, wellness coach, intern (MSW) and an ADC – trainee. I love what I do! I think your video was great. I had a therapist that centered her practice around Heart-Centered Peace and she was awesome but recently moved back up to Massachusetts. Do you have more on Heartspace? If I choose to let this help I think this could benefit me. Thank you for what you do. Namaste!!
I haven’t done.but l needs to learn
This really touched me personally as my name is Jennifer and my inner child and childhood nickname, Jenny. The second arrow I was introduced to last year while at a Dharma Sanctuary here in Hawaii. I have been practicing it ever since, and while I find myself less fully triggered, feeling feelings I have condemned is not an easy task. Sitting with the pain, and holding space for my “grown self” as I allow the inner child in me to process in a safe space has been life changing. Thank you ♥️
I find Tara’s talks and books all so helpful including these videos. And the reminder of the ocean and waves. I have to hear this message over and over I think as I am still struggling despite much more awareness and compassion for myself with the experience of self blame and shame. It seems to attach to so many of my experiences, and I notice then how quickly I blame myself for that self judgement and shame too …for still experiencing distress and shame feelings “despite all the inner work I’ve done…. “ it’s like a third arrow in a way.
There was aa awareness of a larger space in my ‘core’. Thank you.
Thank you for your video it’s really helpful ? much love ?
I got awear that selfcare can very easily forgotten
I felt relief and expansion in my body
Same as Julie ottob
In my practice I’ve noticed folk get confused with the acceptance of reactive emotions thinking at first we’re saying It’s fine for me to be jealous/sarcastic/grumpy…when they understand that allowing the emotion ‘to be’ takes the sting out of its tail and the body and mind broaden and open its, well an eye opener! TKU
Became aware of where my anxiety lay and was able to breath into it more slowly. Thanks for sharing these videos
I began to slow my judgement of myself, and bought awareness into my breathing and my heart space. I am very aware that I judge myself constantly and want to stop that second arrow. I know awareness is the first step to making change, so I am eager to practice the exercise.
Thank you for sharing this practice. It feels So good when there comes this ease wave of Release in the heart space. This soft kindness by telling myself thats okay to feel this Feelings and there is nothing to judge really brings more ease and kindness up.
I felt lighter and freed.
what is the difference between blaming yourself and recognising, acknowledging and accepting your own culpability in certain events? is it necessary to accept some portion of the blame to be able to forgive yourself and those you have previously blamed for the pain you feel?
I’m in tears
I felt a great feeling of peace and joy.
I wept. Again I thought nothing was going on for me today. But the excersize opened it up, like the last one.
Realized I judged myself for not teaching my kids to love themselves first, then I realized I wasn’t taught that so how could I have taught it over 30 years ago, but I could show them that it’s something that’s never too late to learn. Thank you will continue this practice and looking forward to the next.
Remembering this connection thank you
I wept.