Strange. It stirred up a compassion for myself that was new. Felt very different. But feel i need to listen to this more than once to really ‘get it’. Thank you..
I’ve been blaming myself, my own body for getting the disease which is quite literally, out of my control. Why do I blame myself?::I’ve hadit 15 years and I still haven’t accepted that I have it and hate myself for it.
Claudia Flores, Another Field, Salt Lake City , UT, USAsays
Thank you Tara for sharing such powerful reflections , Going from my head to my heart , brings a sense of grounding and vulnerability, when I touched my heart and felt the self judgment, it made me go into a tender place inside of me .. I felt compassion for the little girl in me , that has been so neglected for a long time ; it made want to stay close to her , to hold her in my mind and heart and just offer my true presence and tell her.. I am here , it’s ok.
Very profound .. So much gratitude .
Claudia
I really enjoyed the imagery of the ocean as self, and the waves as part of us, even though they consisted of our insecurities.
I think I may watch the video again, but what I did was put my hand on my heart, talked to my vulnerable self, and said “I’m here for you,” in a sincere way…this did resonate for me…I felt energy in my chest (hard to explain, it’s a buzzy feeling I get when I feel ‘connected’). It felt like it was okay to be vulnerable, but also that my greater self was supportive…
I kept experiencing a thought from my childhood that was placed by an adult who was responsible for my care. “If it seems the whole world is against you, maybe you need to change yourself.” I felt this was a wrong statement at the time, and still do. But the statement made by this adult didn’t and still doesn’t make me feel better. What I get is, “Your boundaries make you unlovable to the world that is against you, so change, and the world will love you.” When in reality, everyone should have their personal boundaries and this is okay. It is normal to set limits and have ideals. The people who care about you will honor your boundaries and ideals. Not everyone will be against you. We are all lovable as unique individuals-not as a me vs the world thing.
I felt a sense of release and then relief. Releasing the shame for feeling bad that was centered in my throat, and comforting myself, allowed me to feel relieved of this burden of shame. I will have to practice, but there was a momentary sense of peace.
I felt irritated and distracted by the background music. Especially as it was reaching a dramatic crescendo during the enactment of Jennifer’s process of moving from head to heart to heart space. I think the process is useful, but the music stimulated a great deal of agitation in me. I needed to turn away and do something else to get comfortable again.
I was in my “head” I was blaming myself. When I shifted to my “heart” I was feeling vulnerable and scared. I started to gently rub my heart and did self talk. It’s ok. You’re going to be ok.
The picture of the waves helped me start to feel the space a bit. The waves are all those different feelings inside me right?
When you said, “stop shooting the blame at others” (something like that), I got confused. Am I not accepting the anger I’m feeling?
I’m not making sense I think. I like the exercise and will continue to do it. I’m so tired of judgment.
Noreen
This is a beautiful process , I have been stuck in this cycle forever , and it is very very painful . Big gratitude for a process so simple and effective ….Profound !!
Much Love Maida
As my meanness to self has been repetitive arrows into myself, I found I needed to repeat the process over & over allowing it to really sink in, feel it, the sensations in my body. Perhaps to the depth I’ve allowed the arrows to go, before i really create an inner healing. Thank you
I understand shame, self loathing, blaming myself, and others I was taught it in my youth, until I thought that was who I was or my roll in this life was to be the backstop or whipping pose for others to release their anger, hurt, and pain.
As I got older I started to find that when anger, hurt, or pain was sent at me I would join them that was my second arrow. when I learned that I was not to be a backstop or whipping post it allowed growth to happen. I am worth so much more than what I was taught. I am becoming a whole person. The ocean is so much more than the waves on the surface. I know arrows will be fired my way at times people are people but I don’t have to reach for my quiver of arrows I can leave them alone. Thank you for the clarity of your message.
Being critical is my super power and I’m afraid I’ve been using it for evil for so long now; I feel alone in a room full of people, very sad. The exercise felt good; embracing my soft, vulnerable heart and my tight throat, where my words are often stuck, repeating in my mind “Lulu, I’ve got this, I’m an adult (57 and it’s never too late Robin Hart) now”. I cried but it felt good, nurturing. Thank you.
Self-judgement is difficult to catch, which then makes it difficult to know when I should practice self-compassion and kindness. More practice will probably help me with this process.
Its true opening my heart feeling into my heart space and reasurring myself with kindness and love is the pathway to healing self judgement and blame. I can connect to my inner child and hold her and tell her she is worthy
Right, love yourself so that you can love others. If you don’t what you will project is your own flaws. But this is one thing that is still on my list after many more. I only see my folks only once a year and live by myself with my cat. I enjoy the sounds of the nature and love what I see. My surrounding is mostly empty of any soul, i feel peaceful and just love being with myself only. is is part of what they call social phobia so to say. But i see my own progress with the course
I was the same and now I’m learning to live in a relationship full time. It’s such a challenge for me but I’m determined to not throw away my dreams because of triggers but rather let my partner destroy my triggers as I face them one by one as I’m ready to using the method this lady mentions, trying to heal childhood trauma. And often give comfort to my child me to reconnect as an adult me. It works and it’s a lifetime practice as I have so much childhood trauma triggers. All worth the journey and experience so everyday can be a new day and I’m ready to ride the next wave to see where it takes me or crashes me .. love visiting temples around the world for mediation and met amazing people cultures and foods on the journey is self healing and self discovery. I still have my cat 🙂
Thank you Helen, and learning to live in a relationship full time can give you the strenght to face the waves when you think that ocean is what you can be. I mentionned my cat, but I have birds and love dogs also. One at a time, I found my love for the ocean really addictive. The sounds , the sights, the feel, and just being surrounded by a large envelope of blue that is so calming. I don’t know if I am ready for the next wave and to crash, but I am glad that you care and takes along all the triggers and face them as they surface. Much love, Joann.
I felt the truth of your words, but I also judged myself for being so not far along in this process….fear that it’s too late for me, at age 57. Sadness
Is it vulnerability thats the drawback? Im not so sure. Im not afraid of vuknerability but about my feelings not been respected. Feeling safe is the most essential to move my feelibgs from been unexpressed. They wouldnt be vulnerable feelings uf people were actually safe carriers of my important feelings. My natural feelings create my shadow because I have been prevented from having them released. At times we must do this for ourselves. We must be our own safe person to hold our experiences .
I felt like a large object is stuck in my stomach, affecting everything from my breathing to physical comfort. I did why you stated to do and offered my self compassion by connecting with my inner child and let her know things will be okay, you are not the blame. Thank you
Patty Gillaspy, Another Field, Venice , FL, USAsays
Will have to try again. On horrible meds Ativan being one. I had taken for panic attack and had fallen asleep listening .
Not well. Astronomical situational, loss and trauma. Allowed to many bad drugs for chronic pain and……. From midwest and trusted what Drs put me on. Off all high dose pain pills without Drs help. So afraid of liability dr and psych have said let me die before am a liability. Have came very close.
Am a believer in Jesus and God the father. VERY OPEN MINDED BELIEVE IN MANY OTHER PRACTICES . WILL HAVE TO FINISH LATER. HAVE SVERE IRRITABLE BOWL AND OTHER GASTROINTESTINAL MADE WORSE SINCE GOING OFF MEDS. NOW BEEN GOING THROUGH WOTHDRAWAL FROM ATIVAN WHICH HATE BUT FEEL I NEED AS HAVE PTSD AND POST TRAUMATIC HYPERIRRITABILIY SYNDROME WHICH IS A NIGHTMARE.. AND CAUES BODYWIDE pain. So much more to this. Never talked about my pain or physical problems and hate putting negativity out there. I cant write for running back and forth to bathroom. Consumes so much of day. I was so much better when I used and had all that you discuss and believe in. Even though was on meds at time. I need all the astronomical stressors out of life. And people Down here that Can trust to be a friend as have lost most for past political reasons and now illness and withdrawals.
In In church family and other christian group the would bring in food after operation. Visit……. Not so here. E.Rather than compassion they stay away to protect themselves. I enjoyed helping others and volunteering. Visiting nursing homes with my Sheltie. AND helping elderly neighbors.
I need to talk to someone to tell the whole story of what is happening and get adv in center or support. Do not want to say more than have online. Also need prayers and positive thoughts and intentions sent to my family who is not there and never was and my sons who are far away dealing with their own serious situations. And for my Sunshine Neolate whom was my world and helped raise 1st 6 years of life. And has lost mom at young age and so many not there or are to be there for her. Her mom died from cancer at 32 and now a young woman of 21 with 2 children under 5 and not support she needs. I desperately want and pray to get healthy. But we need help putting things online to sell which I can not do tight now. It is difficult to ask for help as was alwYs the listener. And helper. People do need other people. Women I believe more so than men. I ASK FOR PRAYER FOR HUSBAND THAT WAS USED TO THE STRONG WOMEN INCLUDING ME TO TAKE CARE OF IMPORTANT THINGS. HE HAS MEDICAL PROBLEMS AND CAN NOT HELP IN THE WAY NEED RIGHT NOW. ALTHOUGH DO OUR BEST TO TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER.
THANKS FOR LISTENING. I HAVE BEEN ISOLATED AND ALLOWED TO BE BEATEN DOWN BY PEOPLE I LOVE. NOT WANTI G ANYONE TO FEEL SORRY BUT TO UNDERSTAND. I HAVE JUST TOLD A FRACTION OF WHAT IS GOING ON. I DO HAVE A TRUST ISSUE FOR VERY VALID REASONS. BLESS YOU IF TOOK THE TIME TO READ AND SEND PRAYERS AND POSI INTENTIONS OUR WAY. I AM UNABLE TO FOCUS ON IMAGERY OR MEDITATION RIGHT NOW. GOD’S BLESSINGS AND PEACE, LOVE AND UNITY TO ALL.❤?
Aftervl connected all three l visualized a finger doing the “f you” sign” at me when l thought of my 27 yr old son . He has bouts of anger starting age 3 it has been very hard on my heart
I’ve always blamed myself for things that aren’t my fault. I accept myself completely. I own all of the light and the darkness. I’m finished with attracting narcissists. I’m not a filter for everyone else’s crap nor am I food for someone else’s entertainment. I’m a human being that deserves the same amount of love and forgiveness that I’ve been giving to others my whole life.
Self judgement occurs to me when I am feeling awkward in the social situation like at work or at parties. This is something that I just can’t help and feel like I was born with. It is horrific and exhausting. I will think of the two arrows to catch myself in the moment.
Funny thing, Tara, I’ve been told by many people that I have to move from my head to my heart, but no one actually told me how I’m supposed to do that! Thank you for your concise way of articulating these things!
I tuned in to the thoughts I was having about being unworthy and all the self blame. When I tuned in to my heart I actually felt pain in my chest. I put my hands on my heart and repeated the phrases “It’s ok” and “I’m Here”, and the pain went away. I felt warmth in my chest.
Last night, while in the mental process of self flagellation, I saw the few words of your topic posted n FB. I then got very clear about what I was doing and changed my then present state from angry, blaming and sad to relief. I watched the video today just to reaffirm my experience. I’m still here am I’m so greatful your words showed up when they did. I’m now embracing the parts of me that are feeling scared or unsure and for the moment we are all well. Thank you!
Its my fault my son is alone and abandoned,
guilt, sadness, and will be held accountable by my father in heaven
Its ok Cyn, you are trying your hardest to change and make good choices, have faith that you will find Stephen, ask him for forgiveness and help him to feel loved and accepted it will take some time but that is OK for now just continue to be a good person.
I never received it to do. I would like to though. How do I get this so I could experience. Thank you.
Feel more relaxed and the problems smaller.
Still processing this
I can’t play it unfortunately
Strange. It stirred up a compassion for myself that was new. Felt very different. But feel i need to listen to this more than once to really ‘get it’. Thank you..
There was the sensation of a warm welkome, relaxing and silence
thank you – it was very moving and calming- i do work with ifs and it enriched my ability to be with those judging parts
I felt the feelings move thru my chest. As I softened it with my hand and words it felt as if I was releasing and more able to accept these feelings.
I’ve been blaming myself, my own body for getting the disease which is quite literally, out of my control. Why do I blame myself?::I’ve hadit 15 years and I still haven’t accepted that I have it and hate myself for it.
Thank you Tara for sharing such powerful reflections , Going from my head to my heart , brings a sense of grounding and vulnerability, when I touched my heart and felt the self judgment, it made me go into a tender place inside of me .. I felt compassion for the little girl in me , that has been so neglected for a long time ; it made want to stay close to her , to hold her in my mind and heart and just offer my true presence and tell her.. I am here , it’s ok.
Very profound .. So much gratitude .
Claudia
I’m from Brazil and I loved to watch youtube video. how can I share it with subtitles. Can I have it downloaded in order to put a Portuguese subtitle?
I really enjoyed the imagery of the ocean as self, and the waves as part of us, even though they consisted of our insecurities.
I think I may watch the video again, but what I did was put my hand on my heart, talked to my vulnerable self, and said “I’m here for you,” in a sincere way…this did resonate for me…I felt energy in my chest (hard to explain, it’s a buzzy feeling I get when I feel ‘connected’). It felt like it was okay to be vulnerable, but also that my greater self was supportive…
Thank you
I kept experiencing a thought from my childhood that was placed by an adult who was responsible for my care. “If it seems the whole world is against you, maybe you need to change yourself.” I felt this was a wrong statement at the time, and still do. But the statement made by this adult didn’t and still doesn’t make me feel better. What I get is, “Your boundaries make you unlovable to the world that is against you, so change, and the world will love you.” When in reality, everyone should have their personal boundaries and this is okay. It is normal to set limits and have ideals. The people who care about you will honor your boundaries and ideals. Not everyone will be against you. We are all lovable as unique individuals-not as a me vs the world thing.
I felt a sense of release and then relief. Releasing the shame for feeling bad that was centered in my throat, and comforting myself, allowed me to feel relieved of this burden of shame. I will have to practice, but there was a momentary sense of peace.
I felt irritated and distracted by the background music. Especially as it was reaching a dramatic crescendo during the enactment of Jennifer’s process of moving from head to heart to heart space. I think the process is useful, but the music stimulated a great deal of agitation in me. I needed to turn away and do something else to get comfortable again.
I was in my “head” I was blaming myself. When I shifted to my “heart” I was feeling vulnerable and scared. I started to gently rub my heart and did self talk. It’s ok. You’re going to be ok.
The picture of the waves helped me start to feel the space a bit. The waves are all those different feelings inside me right?
When you said, “stop shooting the blame at others” (something like that), I got confused. Am I not accepting the anger I’m feeling?
I’m not making sense I think. I like the exercise and will continue to do it. I’m so tired of judgment.
Noreen
I feel like something is wrong with me I can’t keep a man
Thank you ! Embodied integration is such a precious gift:)
i’d love to repeat this exercise. It makes more sense on the physical, body and visually helps by all means. So wonderful!
Hi Tara ,
This is a beautiful process , I have been stuck in this cycle forever , and it is very very painful . Big gratitude for a process so simple and effective ….Profound !!
Much Love Maida
As my meanness to self has been repetitive arrows into myself, I found I needed to repeat the process over & over allowing it to really sink in, feel it, the sensations in my body. Perhaps to the depth I’ve allowed the arrows to go, before i really create an inner healing. Thank you
I understand shame, self loathing, blaming myself, and others I was taught it in my youth, until I thought that was who I was or my roll in this life was to be the backstop or whipping pose for others to release their anger, hurt, and pain.
As I got older I started to find that when anger, hurt, or pain was sent at me I would join them that was my second arrow. when I learned that I was not to be a backstop or whipping post it allowed growth to happen. I am worth so much more than what I was taught. I am becoming a whole person. The ocean is so much more than the waves on the surface. I know arrows will be fired my way at times people are people but I don’t have to reach for my quiver of arrows I can leave them alone. Thank you for the clarity of your message.
When I called myself by my childhood nickname it touched something very deep and beautiful. I look forward to being her best friend x
Being critical is my super power and I’m afraid I’ve been using it for evil for so long now; I feel alone in a room full of people, very sad. The exercise felt good; embracing my soft, vulnerable heart and my tight throat, where my words are often stuck, repeating in my mind “Lulu, I’ve got this, I’m an adult (57 and it’s never too late Robin Hart) now”. I cried but it felt good, nurturing. Thank you.
Self-judgement is difficult to catch, which then makes it difficult to know when I should practice self-compassion and kindness. More practice will probably help me with this process.
Its true opening my heart feeling into my heart space and reasurring myself with kindness and love is the pathway to healing self judgement and blame. I can connect to my inner child and hold her and tell her she is worthy
self compassion and being able to offer comfort to my inner child, even if it is the child I was 5 minutes ago. offering myself forgiveness.
Right, love yourself so that you can love others. If you don’t what you will project is your own flaws. But this is one thing that is still on my list after many more. I only see my folks only once a year and live by myself with my cat. I enjoy the sounds of the nature and love what I see. My surrounding is mostly empty of any soul, i feel peaceful and just love being with myself only. is is part of what they call social phobia so to say. But i see my own progress with the course
I was the same and now I’m learning to live in a relationship full time. It’s such a challenge for me but I’m determined to not throw away my dreams because of triggers but rather let my partner destroy my triggers as I face them one by one as I’m ready to using the method this lady mentions, trying to heal childhood trauma. And often give comfort to my child me to reconnect as an adult me. It works and it’s a lifetime practice as I have so much childhood trauma triggers. All worth the journey and experience so everyday can be a new day and I’m ready to ride the next wave to see where it takes me or crashes me .. love visiting temples around the world for mediation and met amazing people cultures and foods on the journey is self healing and self discovery. I still have my cat 🙂
Thank you Helen, and learning to live in a relationship full time can give you the strenght to face the waves when you think that ocean is what you can be. I mentionned my cat, but I have birds and love dogs also. One at a time, I found my love for the ocean really addictive. The sounds , the sights, the feel, and just being surrounded by a large envelope of blue that is so calming. I don’t know if I am ready for the next wave and to crash, but I am glad that you care and takes along all the triggers and face them as they surface. Much love, Joann.
I felt the truth of your words, but I also judged myself for being so not far along in this process….fear that it’s too late for me, at age 57. Sadness
Is it vulnerability thats the drawback? Im not so sure. Im not afraid of vuknerability but about my feelings not been respected. Feeling safe is the most essential to move my feelibgs from been unexpressed. They wouldnt be vulnerable feelings uf people were actually safe carriers of my important feelings. My natural feelings create my shadow because I have been prevented from having them released. At times we must do this for ourselves. We must be our own safe person to hold our experiences .
Thank you ! I found this exercise really helpful to set me on the path to self compassion.
Calm and relaxed
have a challenging time with it feeling artificial
I felt very much pain in my chest and as I cried and practised kindness for myself and the other, I release so much tension and sadness.
The image of the waves of suffering belonging to the larger self, the ocean, will be with me always…..thank you for offering this gift!
I love Tara,truly a wonderful illustratin of how to actually use the teaching.Namaste ,thankyou Tara,Abigail(Gaye)Herring
I felt like a large object is stuck in my stomach, affecting everything from my breathing to physical comfort. I did why you stated to do and offered my self compassion by connecting with my inner child and let her know things will be okay, you are not the blame. Thank you
Will have to try again. On horrible meds Ativan being one. I had taken for panic attack and had fallen asleep listening .
Not well. Astronomical situational, loss and trauma. Allowed to many bad drugs for chronic pain and……. From midwest and trusted what Drs put me on. Off all high dose pain pills without Drs help. So afraid of liability dr and psych have said let me die before am a liability. Have came very close.
Am a believer in Jesus and God the father. VERY OPEN MINDED BELIEVE IN MANY OTHER PRACTICES . WILL HAVE TO FINISH LATER. HAVE SVERE IRRITABLE BOWL AND OTHER GASTROINTESTINAL MADE WORSE SINCE GOING OFF MEDS. NOW BEEN GOING THROUGH WOTHDRAWAL FROM ATIVAN WHICH HATE BUT FEEL I NEED AS HAVE PTSD AND POST TRAUMATIC HYPERIRRITABILIY SYNDROME WHICH IS A NIGHTMARE.. AND CAUES BODYWIDE pain. So much more to this. Never talked about my pain or physical problems and hate putting negativity out there. I cant write for running back and forth to bathroom. Consumes so much of day. I was so much better when I used and had all that you discuss and believe in. Even though was on meds at time. I need all the astronomical stressors out of life. And people Down here that Can trust to be a friend as have lost most for past political reasons and now illness and withdrawals.
In In church family and other christian group the would bring in food after operation. Visit……. Not so here. E.Rather than compassion they stay away to protect themselves. I enjoyed helping others and volunteering. Visiting nursing homes with my Sheltie. AND helping elderly neighbors.
I need to talk to someone to tell the whole story of what is happening and get adv in center or support. Do not want to say more than have online. Also need prayers and positive thoughts and intentions sent to my family who is not there and never was and my sons who are far away dealing with their own serious situations. And for my Sunshine Neolate whom was my world and helped raise 1st 6 years of life. And has lost mom at young age and so many not there or are to be there for her. Her mom died from cancer at 32 and now a young woman of 21 with 2 children under 5 and not support she needs. I desperately want and pray to get healthy. But we need help putting things online to sell which I can not do tight now. It is difficult to ask for help as was alwYs the listener. And helper. People do need other people. Women I believe more so than men. I ASK FOR PRAYER FOR HUSBAND THAT WAS USED TO THE STRONG WOMEN INCLUDING ME TO TAKE CARE OF IMPORTANT THINGS. HE HAS MEDICAL PROBLEMS AND CAN NOT HELP IN THE WAY NEED RIGHT NOW. ALTHOUGH DO OUR BEST TO TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER.
THANKS FOR LISTENING. I HAVE BEEN ISOLATED AND ALLOWED TO BE BEATEN DOWN BY PEOPLE I LOVE. NOT WANTI G ANYONE TO FEEL SORRY BUT TO UNDERSTAND. I HAVE JUST TOLD A FRACTION OF WHAT IS GOING ON. I DO HAVE A TRUST ISSUE FOR VERY VALID REASONS. BLESS YOU IF TOOK THE TIME TO READ AND SEND PRAYERS AND POSI INTENTIONS OUR WAY. I AM UNABLE TO FOCUS ON IMAGERY OR MEDITATION RIGHT NOW. GOD’S BLESSINGS AND PEACE, LOVE AND UNITY TO ALL.❤?
Aftervl connected all three l visualized a finger doing the “f you” sign” at me when l thought of my 27 yr old son . He has bouts of anger starting age 3 it has been very hard on my heart
Your storytelling had such powerful visuals. I really fetl at peace envisioning myself as the ocean. Thank you for sharing this with us!
I felt hope and tenderness for myself ?
I’ve always blamed myself for things that aren’t my fault. I accept myself completely. I own all of the light and the darkness. I’m finished with attracting narcissists. I’m not a filter for everyone else’s crap nor am I food for someone else’s entertainment. I’m a human being that deserves the same amount of love and forgiveness that I’ve been giving to others my whole life.
I was able to relax in the moment. Felt like I was giving myself a hug and that I had the ability to appreciate others on a deeper level.
Self judgement occurs to me when I am feeling awkward in the social situation like at work or at parties. This is something that I just can’t help and feel like I was born with. It is horrific and exhausting. I will think of the two arrows to catch myself in the moment.
I feel calm and peaceful. Have clarity of mind.
Funny thing, Tara, I’ve been told by many people that I have to move from my head to my heart, but no one actually told me how I’m supposed to do that! Thank you for your concise way of articulating these things!
I tuned in to the thoughts I was having about being unworthy and all the self blame. When I tuned in to my heart I actually felt pain in my chest. I put my hands on my heart and repeated the phrases “It’s ok” and “I’m Here”, and the pain went away. I felt warmth in my chest.
Last night, while in the mental process of self flagellation, I saw the few words of your topic posted n FB. I then got very clear about what I was doing and changed my then present state from angry, blaming and sad to relief. I watched the video today just to reaffirm my experience. I’m still here am I’m so greatful your words showed up when they did. I’m now embracing the parts of me that are feeling scared or unsure and for the moment we are all well. Thank you!
Its my fault my son is alone and abandoned,
guilt, sadness, and will be held accountable by my father in heaven
Its ok Cyn, you are trying your hardest to change and make good choices, have faith that you will find Stephen, ask him for forgiveness and help him to feel loved and accepted it will take some time but that is OK for now just continue to be a good person.
There was a palpable softening, a sense of release. Thank you.