Adding the word “space” to heart, reinforces our innate ability to hold the full spectrum of sensations, feelings and emotions in the womb of our heart. Thus giving us a greater capacity for connection and healing.
I’m learning to love myself again and I’m always judging and blaming myself for everything. This exercise put me at ease for a brief moment. I know it will take time and practice. Thanks a lot!!!
I like the notion of getting to the root of the matter. I also like the notion that there is an authentic compassion. When doing the meditation, I felt as if I was more willing to at least engage. I continue to feel though that whatever self or other care I provide, it is usually not strong enough or skillful enough to handles these days’ very harsh and insane realities.
This is helping, head-mind speak, heart-vulnerable feelings, heart space-wise mind. Wisdom is caring and kind, breathing into the body where the sensations are uncomfortable, and holding myself with care. In this space my fear and vulnerability are softened and my feelings are safe. The head-mind speak softens, noticing the feeling monster is transforming and my true self is free to express and be calmed. Self awareness is not always approachable, with time self care and kindness will guide me to calm and be open to more possibilities of a fuller life.
Thank you. I was soothed again by the invitation to connect with myself slowly and with care. The on heart I have offered to others to try and received some this last weekend but not offered myself in this way despite being a reiki practitioner. Moving gently to each space enabled me to go inwards and offer kindness ans really notice where my judgments lie and not just let them continue as if they were normal/useful daily practice and beneficial.
Thank You sooo much for this video. I realized recently that in order for me to become the BEST version of myself and SHOW up in my life as THAT person.. whether professionally or personally.. I NEED to live more from my heart space. This video is providing me precisely with the info I need to accomplish this???
Melanie Garcia, Nursing, San Francisco, CA, USAsays
This is the most specific and powerful meditation and healing video I have experienced. It was also so helpful to read how universally difficult this practice of self compassion and kindness is, how we naturally go toward judgement. I feel
A literal softening in my chest and heart, an ability to breathe deeper and to be kind to the suffering that I have faced.
Thank you so much.
I wish these videos would be available on an ongoing basis!!
But thank you again.
The stubborn and blaming head, so disconnected from the body, says it’s heard this story before… Yes there is comfort but there is no change…Moving to the heart it felt like a sponge when offered consolation and compassion, it shed tears…Moving onto heart space there may have just been enough belief That it opened like an unknown room, empty of danger with possibly enough love to let it go on living without the negativity of critical self exposition…
Tara, that is so freeing!! Thank you so much!! I used to carry my blame around as I was always condemned as a child for everything. I was a kid with ADHD and I got yelled at constantly because I wasn’t the ‘perfect child and was often told, why can’t you be like _____? They are so good and you are bad. So I carried that blame around with me. I now see I was just a kid with ADHD and I didn’t know how to control it as others refused to help me. Thanks for an enlightening video!!
This process helped me recognize the wanting for both change and acceptance inherent in difficult experiences, as well as the inherent perfection in all experiences even seemingly bad ones.
The image of us being an ocean with waves being part of the ups and downs or storms of our feelings and emotions reminded me of how speaking to our storm and being compassionate for what we are feeling and experiencing was a liberating lesson from my Counselling course tutor.Thank you for reminding me of that Tara.
While practicing the Head to Heart to Heartspace exercise, I found myself wanting to reach through the darkness that I am floating in yet unable to find anything within my reach. My throat ached intensely as a growing pain radiated from my lower back.
At the end of this video, the pain in the back has minimized, yet my throat feels as if I cannot speak. My mind is blank as I try to let go of the physical sensations.
Gail Gabriel, Marriage/Family Therapy, Pleasanton, CA, USAsays
This is the best explanation of this process. Opening our hearts to self-compassion is often scary business. I still find myself in self recriminations to trigger motivation to do what I don’t want to do. I need to use this process more often! Thanks
There was so much in this short video. I had to listen a few times.
I found the image of the two arrows was enormously helpful in understanding how, through the blaming thoughts and shaming feelings, we can tie ourselves up in knots, or ambush ourselves, or herd ourselves down one way lanes which are dead ends. We unknowingly make impossible Catch 22 situations for ourselves and feel helpless and hopeless. But we must not shoot that second arrow at ourselves about it; instead we need to offer kindness to our hurting selves because up till now, we have just been doing the best we can with the understanding we have and in the situation we are in at this point.
THERE IS HOPE… The 3 Step process sounds simple yet profound, although quite challenging as we face our vulnerabilities. Then it is essential to remember to be incredibly tender and patient with ourselves.
I love the image of the Ocean and the Waves. I will allow it to absorb deep into me.
Thank you
I love this image of the ocean being “heart space.” I have heard you use this metaphor and I feel more peaceful when I visualize this. I am aware that I am not taking the time to sit with myself daily to truly connect with my heart. (Oh no, here comes the second arrow??)
Madi Mantell, Counseling, North Wales, PA, USAsays
This was a lovely video and thank you but I really had problems being able to concentrate with the music in the background. I did not like the music and it really got in the way of the experience for me. I would strongly suggest that you try doing some of your videos with no background music or something softer and different.
The two arrows is a great way to recognize what I often do is not helpful. The ocean metaphor really resonates with me as I often try to overcome or get rid of these feelings of inadequacy or fear instead of just acknowledging them and being kind so they can ebb.
Again amazed at the depth of my internal vulnerability from ancient feelings of abandonment—that if I judge I can protect myself and not be abandoned when the exact opposite is a fuller part of my life. I abandon my vulnerability and don’t open up to help and imperfection—the opportunity for growth and also push others away. I love the placing of my hand on my heart and speaking directly to that fear—telling myself I am here for you and so are so many others. Trust.
I liked learning about that concept of the two arrows. I also liked the idea:
“head to heart to heart space”
to authentically wrap yourself in kindness
as you dodge the arrows of blame from
others in peace & forgiveness as you pray earnestly for ALL parties involved.
Releasing the blame and forgiving can heal relationships. Letting IT GO is real sometimes.
I need to practice this a lot before I feel the total benefits of self blame, but I definitely felt the beginnings of relief after viewing the video, ‘Silence Self-judgement’ I will keep trying this method, thank you
The practice led me to feel my head had physically become heavier. It was difficult to convey authentic tenderness and compassion in the heart space. But I understand this is just the first time and perhaps with practice, it could eventually become more authentic what currently feels flaky and ungenuine.
Thank you for both the analogies of the two arrows and us being the ocean–incredibly powerful and I hope to use it myself and with my clients.
A really clear explanation of the secondary feelings that can make us and our clients feels so bad about ourselves. I did the practice myself and immediately felt tearful and sad about how hard I still am on myself. It really is the work of a life time. I am going to share this with some clients who I feel sure will benefit. Many thanks.
I could see myself as the young girl who lost her mother at the age of 12. I could feel her loneliness and fear. I used my nickname, Lizzydrip and told her that she is loved and that she is good. I told her that she will be ok. I held her hand and told her that I am always here and that I will always love her. I could feel my heart softening and lifting. I’m going to do this more often. Thank you
It’s very true that if you can practice moving from head to heart you will soften and create more space to explore conflictual situations that undoubtably occur.
I am retiring in January, which means I am dealing with all kinds of important decisions and changes. While listening to Tara, I realized I have turned myself into a pin cushion of second arrows. I am critical of my anxiety, my lack of experience while doing something I have never done before, and on and on. Listening to the wise and kind words helped me see the dynamic and the ways in which my self-judgement makes the entire process more stressful. Honestly, I am doing pretty well, when I leave off the self-loathing! I am smiling right now. Thanks, I needed that.
The arrow I shoot at my head (to be honest I often imagine putting a gun to my head and feeling the cold of the metal as I twist at against my temple); I shifted to my feelings which were in my heart and stomach. Then placed my hand on my heart and used my childhood nickname. I felt a real sense of release for short while. Thank you
I felt a sense of release, a calming relaxed wave of acceptance over the things that have happened last year. I feel like I can let it go, I’ll never forget the rape but I can throw the feelings of shame and unworthiness our of my head and heart.
Thank you
Sandra Singer
Thanks Tara, I love the analogy of the 2 arrows to clearly explain how we can add An unhelpful thought to the original one, making it easy to understand how we can spiral into negative thinking. I shall certainly be using this with my clients moving forward.
I do struggle when looking at bodily sensations to understand which emotion they are referring to , or what my body is trying to tell me. Is it about making a connection with what you are feeling at the time to the current thought and then understanding that often the same feeling will be associated with this thought? Thanks x
Adding the word “space” to heart, reinforces our innate ability to hold the full spectrum of sensations, feelings and emotions in the womb of our heart. Thus giving us a greater capacity for connection and healing.
I’m learning to love myself again and I’m always judging and blaming myself for everything. This exercise put me at ease for a brief moment. I know it will take time and practice. Thanks a lot!!!
I like the notion of getting to the root of the matter. I also like the notion that there is an authentic compassion. When doing the meditation, I felt as if I was more willing to at least engage. I continue to feel though that whatever self or other care I provide, it is usually not strong enough or skillful enough to handles these days’ very harsh and insane realities.
A slow tingling and unfurling of tension. A welcome softening.
It was amazing actually…I felt the awful, heavy negative feeling morph into a warm, more positive feeling in my heart. ?
This is helping, head-mind speak, heart-vulnerable feelings, heart space-wise mind. Wisdom is caring and kind, breathing into the body where the sensations are uncomfortable, and holding myself with care. In this space my fear and vulnerability are softened and my feelings are safe. The head-mind speak softens, noticing the feeling monster is transforming and my true self is free to express and be calmed. Self awareness is not always approachable, with time self care and kindness will guide me to calm and be open to more possibilities of a fuller life.
Conection and softening inside
This is becoming easier, with practice. Intentionality is the key for me.
Electrical wave went through my body
Thank you. I was soothed again by the invitation to connect with myself slowly and with care. The on heart I have offered to others to try and received some this last weekend but not offered myself in this way despite being a reiki practitioner. Moving gently to each space enabled me to go inwards and offer kindness ans really notice where my judgments lie and not just let them continue as if they were normal/useful daily practice and beneficial.
Thank You sooo much for this video. I realized recently that in order for me to become the BEST version of myself and SHOW up in my life as THAT person.. whether professionally or personally.. I NEED to live more from my heart space. This video is providing me precisely with the info I need to accomplish this???
This is the most specific and powerful meditation and healing video I have experienced. It was also so helpful to read how universally difficult this practice of self compassion and kindness is, how we naturally go toward judgement. I feel
A literal softening in my chest and heart, an ability to breathe deeper and to be kind to the suffering that I have faced.
Thank you so much.
I wish these videos would be available on an ongoing basis!!
But thank you again.
The stubborn and blaming head, so disconnected from the body, says it’s heard this story before… Yes there is comfort but there is no change…Moving to the heart it felt like a sponge when offered consolation and compassion, it shed tears…Moving onto heart space there may have just been enough belief That it opened like an unknown room, empty of danger with possibly enough love to let it go on living without the negativity of critical self exposition…
Tara, that is so freeing!! Thank you so much!! I used to carry my blame around as I was always condemned as a child for everything. I was a kid with ADHD and I got yelled at constantly because I wasn’t the ‘perfect child and was often told, why can’t you be like _____? They are so good and you are bad. So I carried that blame around with me. I now see I was just a kid with ADHD and I didn’t know how to control it as others refused to help me. Thanks for an enlightening video!!
This will take practice. Thank you.
I felt the spaciousness of the heart space….thank you
This process helped me recognize the wanting for both change and acceptance inherent in difficult experiences, as well as the inherent perfection in all experiences even seemingly bad ones.
it’s always a wounderfull reminderwhen I listen to your talks. I can feel the hearspace yoz are opening with your tender words.
The image of us being an ocean with waves being part of the ups and downs or storms of our feelings and emotions reminded me of how speaking to our storm and being compassionate for what we are feeling and experiencing was a liberating lesson from my Counselling course tutor.Thank you for reminding me of that Tara.
While practicing the Head to Heart to Heartspace exercise, I found myself wanting to reach through the darkness that I am floating in yet unable to find anything within my reach. My throat ached intensely as a growing pain radiated from my lower back.
At the end of this video, the pain in the back has minimized, yet my throat feels as if I cannot speak. My mind is blank as I try to let go of the physical sensations.
This is the best explanation of this process. Opening our hearts to self-compassion is often scary business. I still find myself in self recriminations to trigger motivation to do what I don’t want to do. I need to use this process more often! Thanks
I understand the practice, intellectually, but have difficulty moving through the steps.
There was so much in this short video. I had to listen a few times.
I found the image of the two arrows was enormously helpful in understanding how, through the blaming thoughts and shaming feelings, we can tie ourselves up in knots, or ambush ourselves, or herd ourselves down one way lanes which are dead ends. We unknowingly make impossible Catch 22 situations for ourselves and feel helpless and hopeless. But we must not shoot that second arrow at ourselves about it; instead we need to offer kindness to our hurting selves because up till now, we have just been doing the best we can with the understanding we have and in the situation we are in at this point.
THERE IS HOPE… The 3 Step process sounds simple yet profound, although quite challenging as we face our vulnerabilities. Then it is essential to remember to be incredibly tender and patient with ourselves.
I love the image of the Ocean and the Waves. I will allow it to absorb deep into me.
Thank you
I love this image of the ocean being “heart space.” I have heard you use this metaphor and I feel more peaceful when I visualize this. I am aware that I am not taking the time to sit with myself daily to truly connect with my heart. (Oh no, here comes the second arrow??)
This was a lovely video and thank you but I really had problems being able to concentrate with the music in the background. I did not like the music and it really got in the way of the experience for me. I would strongly suggest that you try doing some of your videos with no background music or something softer and different.
The two arrows is a great way to recognize what I often do is not helpful. The ocean metaphor really resonates with me as I often try to overcome or get rid of these feelings of inadequacy or fear instead of just acknowledging them and being kind so they can ebb.
Again amazed at the depth of my internal vulnerability from ancient feelings of abandonment—that if I judge I can protect myself and not be abandoned when the exact opposite is a fuller part of my life. I abandon my vulnerability and don’t open up to help and imperfection—the opportunity for growth and also push others away. I love the placing of my hand on my heart and speaking directly to that fear—telling myself I am here for you and so are so many others. Trust.
Enjoyed it. Might help heal comments made years ago? I will have to listen a few times before it really becomes ‘mine’.
Thanks
Sadness opened a little
I didn’t get into it deeply here but find the rain meditations very helpful and this information reinforced that process.
I didn’t get into it deeply here but find the rain meditations very helpful and this information reinforced that process.
FEAR, slight OPENING
I liked learning about that concept of the two arrows. I also liked the idea:
“head to heart to heart space”
to authentically wrap yourself in kindness
as you dodge the arrows of blame from
others in peace & forgiveness as you pray earnestly for ALL parties involved.
Releasing the blame and forgiving can heal relationships. Letting IT GO is real sometimes.
Very emotional experience for me!
I struggled with this a bit. It is an area where more practice and time are needed. Todd
I need to practice this a lot before I feel the total benefits of self blame, but I definitely felt the beginnings of relief after viewing the video, ‘Silence Self-judgement’ I will keep trying this method, thank you
The practice led me to feel my head had physically become heavier. It was difficult to convey authentic tenderness and compassion in the heart space. But I understand this is just the first time and perhaps with practice, it could eventually become more authentic what currently feels flaky and ungenuine.
Thank you for both the analogies of the two arrows and us being the ocean–incredibly powerful and I hope to use it myself and with my clients.
A really clear explanation of the secondary feelings that can make us and our clients feels so bad about ourselves. I did the practice myself and immediately felt tearful and sad about how hard I still am on myself. It really is the work of a life time. I am going to share this with some clients who I feel sure will benefit. Many thanks.
I could see myself as the young girl who lost her mother at the age of 12. I could feel her loneliness and fear. I used my nickname, Lizzydrip and told her that she is loved and that she is good. I told her that she will be ok. I held her hand and told her that I am always here and that I will always love her. I could feel my heart softening and lifting. I’m going to do this more often. Thank you
I felt the beginnings of something new and refreshing, but will need to practice.
It’s very true that if you can practice moving from head to heart you will soften and create more space to explore conflictual situations that undoubtably occur.
I am retiring in January, which means I am dealing with all kinds of important decisions and changes. While listening to Tara, I realized I have turned myself into a pin cushion of second arrows. I am critical of my anxiety, my lack of experience while doing something I have never done before, and on and on. Listening to the wise and kind words helped me see the dynamic and the ways in which my self-judgement makes the entire process more stressful. Honestly, I am doing pretty well, when I leave off the self-loathing! I am smiling right now. Thanks, I needed that.
Holly Ann, That’s such a strong image you gave of turning yourself into a ” pin cushion of second arrows”. How brutal we can be with ourselves!
This is very practical and clear guidance. Thank you!
Very powerful. Tears came to my eyes. Thank you.
The arrow I shoot at my head (to be honest I often imagine putting a gun to my head and feeling the cold of the metal as I twist at against my temple); I shifted to my feelings which were in my heart and stomach. Then placed my hand on my heart and used my childhood nickname. I felt a real sense of release for short while. Thank you
Deepinsight into my ways of relating to others, coming to meet my own vulnerability and its interference with my being.It being part of my being.
I felt a sense of release, a calming relaxed wave of acceptance over the things that have happened last year. I feel like I can let it go, I’ll never forget the rape but I can throw the feelings of shame and unworthiness our of my head and heart.
Thank you
Sandra Singer
Thanks Tara, I love the analogy of the 2 arrows to clearly explain how we can add An unhelpful thought to the original one, making it easy to understand how we can spiral into negative thinking. I shall certainly be using this with my clients moving forward.
I do struggle when looking at bodily sensations to understand which emotion they are referring to , or what my body is trying to tell me. Is it about making a connection with what you are feeling at the time to the current thought and then understanding that often the same feeling will be associated with this thought? Thanks x
I found the video to be full of extremely meaningful quotations, questions and analogies. Thank you so much.
I cried