Love the U-Turn practice and will begin to use it for myself and teach it to my clients and students. Your voice is always so soothing, and your teachings so useful. Thank you!
I would be “free” if I could “let go” of judgement and chronic blame. So would the other person (persons). I felt a real “hope for freedom” in watching this. I was partly on the road to freedom, as have been trying for some time to do this. Think I can get “unstuck” now.
Tara, thank you again. I recognized during this video how I chose a mate who would criticize and judge me and blame me so that I could stop doing it myself. Of course, this only led me to more harsh judgment of myself, but it gave me another object of blame besides myself as well — to take the full burden off of myself. Anyway, I can see how we are both wolves with our legs caught in a trap. Fortunately, we have both become conscious, and now are loving each other and ourselves with less judgment and more compassion when we can recognized the harmful patterns. Thank you for the knowledge and wisdom and experience you share with others. You have such a calming presence and such a beautiful open face!!
Thank you for the short, but pithy series. The step I miss is the one where I connect my urge to eat or drink to soothe the bad feelings, rather than investigating the actual root cause of it. I would love to have some strategies for a kind of “stop, drop, and roll,” as we do fore fore drills, but for the moment just before I go hunting for a box of cookies. Thank you, again, for your work.
During this talk, I noticed, not for the first time, the sadness and confusion of my partner, and the resentment I feel about the way he behaves out of that, and was able to feel compassion, for both of us, in this situation. It’s a process of letting go. Thank you Tara, for sharing your teachings. I always love your talks and meditations. I do them regularly, and they have become like a friend to me.
Hi Tara I loved all three videos! especially the one where you were talking about that we are the ocean and the waves of anxiety Are just part of that ocean but since we ourselves are the ocean we are bigger than the waves of anxiety or sadness that come our way and that we can accept it and feel through these waves. love it when you are saying to put your hand on your heart and talk to yourself to give self compassion
It is so important to acknowledge for ourselves and clients that we may not be ready to have compassion for the entity (society, persons, etc.) which has initiated the pain or trauma and that compassion or forgiveness can be for our own healing. That sometimes it is best to detach from unhealthy relationships or situations for example and focus on self. Many times the compassion and empathy for others keeps us in unsafe or unhealthy relationships as we excuse abusive or intolerable behaviors. So just a word of caution there. Thank you for this!
Thank you for the reminder. I have been practicing this for a long time and am finally feeling the shift from constant self criticism, judgement & blame to self compassion It has been a long road & without these gentle reminders it can be easy to fall back into old patterns. Thank you for these life changing tools 🙂
A person of amazing creativity, compassion, and a wise and fearless leader in social justice organizing. I have longed to be all of these my entire adult life and have even had glimpses of these characteristics when they emerged, albeit on rare occasions. Nevertheless, I continually feel afraid of failure and of others who’ve judged me. When judged, I feel genuinely shocked, completely misunderstood, and deeply hurt. I feel like I’ve been exposed as an imposter and begin to think I am an imposter. My fear of failure then escalates.
I would be more of who I was created to be. I would be more connected with the people in my life and the world. I would be even more compassionate. Thank you Tara for the gift of this practice!
Practical and easy to follow. Important that you touched on those with too much pain and societal oppression. I’d like to learn more about how to help them (myself).
Loved all 3 but the final one is such a powerful reminder for me for myself but also in my work with young people. Self compassion is so often lacking and I want them to discover self love, forgiveness and healing. Thank you
When I shifted the memories of harsh parenting and blame then met it with compassion my relationship with my parents shifted. Just like when compassion is given to my self-judgement as a parent myself and how they are all intertwined.
Who would I be if I let go of Judgment and chronic blame – present and connected, here, alive and not just surviving.
My you turn went from sole parenting to feelings of being alone and unsupported as a child. I felt compassion for my mum – too many children and no support from her husband – who was working two jobs. I felt so clearly that my mum was not even connected to her self or her emotions
I would definitely not have made so many rash decisions if I had just let go of judgment and chronic blame. I would have owned the truth of the situation and sought to delve more deeply into the causes for the behavior ultimately being more free an open to deal with the conflict in my life a little better. TY
I have always been able to rationalize my parents harsh treatment to me as a child but I have never offered compassion to the wounded child. thank you for that
I have always been able to rationalize my parents harsh treatment to me as a child but I have never offered compassion to the wounded child. thank you for that
Thank you, that was very helpful, and I got in touch with how my mom, dad and siblings must of been hurting to judge and abuse me for so long. I wish I had a chance to have a conversation with them before they passed. (2 brothers mom and dad)
This so hits home and I thank you for this. Over the last year my life has undergone a lot of changes. I realize only now how much of this is related to my constant self judgement. That always being harder on yourself than you are on others. That to some degree is a falsehood because you start to extend blame to others and become hard on other because of the way you judge yourself. Thank you forbthe awakening
I just keep telling myself to love myself as god loves me and it is ok I am lovable and I broke down in tears. I am worth love but I must love from my own heart! Thank you.
I was hoping to learn something about how to shift out of the blame my children have for me and my CPTSD/DID and negative childhood experiences. We seem never to be able to get past them and make a restart as a family. 3 of them are doing well and my oldest, abused Inutero, is in a fighting divorce after being suffering Emotional Neglect from his emotionally unavailable wife,for 22 years,most likely suffers CPTSD himself but most likely will never give that any therapeutic attention, believing himself to be an Alpha Male, always blaming others for failing in giving him adequate attention. I guess the symbiotic phase Inutero was hampered with. I recently read a theory that if a child did not have that he or she will never be capable of forming healthy functional relationships as an adult. I knew i had had a bad childhood, but in the Netherlands PTSD for civilians had not even entered the therapeutic field and i chose to have children intending to do better than my mother. Now i know i never stood a chance and it would possibly have been better had i never had children. Although those would not agree.
Delsa Johnson-Waddell, Coach, West Valley City, UT, USAsays
Gertrude,
It would probably be of help to you to work on some self-compassion modules. As you build self-compassion it will help release shame and self-blame. Every parent does something that effects their children in a negative way. No one is perfect.
For some good modules on self-compassion go to https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Self-Compassion#MainContent
At peace with lifes experiences I was not in control of. Acceptance of trauma that changed my life and recognise that I have been admired for my resilience. Thankful Jehovah has shown me love and safety along the way showing me I am a worthy person. This came in the form of other people showing compassion and understanding towards me.
Let go of blaming myself for natural emotions which are like the turbulent sea.
Thank you so much.
I’d be free!
Love the U-Turn practice and will begin to use it for myself and teach it to my clients and students. Your voice is always so soothing, and your teachings so useful. Thank you!
I would be “free” if I could “let go” of judgement and chronic blame. So would the other person (persons). I felt a real “hope for freedom” in watching this. I was partly on the road to freedom, as have been trying for some time to do this. Think I can get “unstuck” now.
Tara, thank you again. I recognized during this video how I chose a mate who would criticize and judge me and blame me so that I could stop doing it myself. Of course, this only led me to more harsh judgment of myself, but it gave me another object of blame besides myself as well — to take the full burden off of myself. Anyway, I can see how we are both wolves with our legs caught in a trap. Fortunately, we have both become conscious, and now are loving each other and ourselves with less judgment and more compassion when we can recognized the harmful patterns. Thank you for the knowledge and wisdom and experience you share with others. You have such a calming presence and such a beautiful open face!!
I would be much more empowered to live a more fulfilled and purposeful life less driven by fear.
I’d be able to live more contentedly and follow my heart more
Thank you for the short, but pithy series. The step I miss is the one where I connect my urge to eat or drink to soothe the bad feelings, rather than investigating the actual root cause of it. I would love to have some strategies for a kind of “stop, drop, and roll,” as we do fore fore drills, but for the moment just before I go hunting for a box of cookies. Thank you, again, for your work.
More of who I really am
I would be more at ease, creative en living trustfully I think.
Thank you for sharing these teachings Tara!
Thanks. I always feel better listening and it helps me feel centered with my thoughts.
During this talk, I noticed, not for the first time, the sadness and confusion of my partner, and the resentment I feel about the way he behaves out of that, and was able to feel compassion, for both of us, in this situation. It’s a process of letting go. Thank you Tara, for sharing your teachings. I always love your talks and meditations. I do them regularly, and they have become like a friend to me.
Hi Tara I loved all three videos! especially the one where you were talking about that we are the ocean and the waves of anxiety Are just part of that ocean but since we ourselves are the ocean we are bigger than the waves of anxiety or sadness that come our way and that we can accept it and feel through these waves. love it when you are saying to put your hand on your heart and talk to yourself to give self compassion
Thank you this was very powerful and made real the possibility of being more present and authentic in my own life and in my work with others
Felt happy
It is so important to acknowledge for ourselves and clients that we may not be ready to have compassion for the entity (society, persons, etc.) which has initiated the pain or trauma and that compassion or forgiveness can be for our own healing. That sometimes it is best to detach from unhealthy relationships or situations for example and focus on self. Many times the compassion and empathy for others keeps us in unsafe or unhealthy relationships as we excuse abusive or intolerable behaviors. So just a word of caution there. Thank you for this!
Thank you for the reminder. I have been practicing this for a long time and am finally feeling the shift from constant self criticism, judgement & blame to self compassion It has been a long road & without these gentle reminders it can be easy to fall back into old patterns. Thank you for these life changing tools 🙂
A person of amazing creativity, compassion, and a wise and fearless leader in social justice organizing. I have longed to be all of these my entire adult life and have even had glimpses of these characteristics when they emerged, albeit on rare occasions. Nevertheless, I continually feel afraid of failure and of others who’ve judged me. When judged, I feel genuinely shocked, completely misunderstood, and deeply hurt. I feel like I’ve been exposed as an imposter and begin to think I am an imposter. My fear of failure then escalates.
I would be more of who I was created to be. I would be more connected with the people in my life and the world. I would be even more compassionate. Thank you Tara for the gift of this practice!
A much more kind and responsive person!
This really hit close to home. Would love to learn more about loving my self, for sure. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for a very useful and transformative teaching.
Marvin Ratner
Practical and easy to follow. Important that you touched on those with too much pain and societal oppression. I’d like to learn more about how to help them (myself).
Letting go for me is easier than recognizing what I am holding on to.
Loved all 3 but the final one is such a powerful reminder for me for myself but also in my work with young people. Self compassion is so often lacking and I want them to discover self love, forgiveness and healing. Thank you
A better person.
When I shifted the memories of harsh parenting and blame then met it with compassion my relationship with my parents shifted. Just like when compassion is given to my self-judgement as a parent myself and how they are all intertwined.
Freer softer kinder. Closer to the me I have always hoped for yearned for and looked towards!
This practice is powerful. It pulled together conceptually alot of self work I’ve been doing giving it a specific protocol. Thank you.
Who would I be if I let go of Judgment and chronic blame – present and connected, here, alive and not just surviving.
My you turn went from sole parenting to feelings of being alone and unsupported as a child. I felt compassion for my mum – too many children and no support from her husband – who was working two jobs. I felt so clearly that my mum was not even connected to her self or her emotions
I would definitely not have made so many rash decisions if I had just let go of judgment and chronic blame. I would have owned the truth of the situation and sought to delve more deeply into the causes for the behavior ultimately being more free an open to deal with the conflict in my life a little better. TY
I have always been able to rationalize my parents harsh treatment to me as a child but I have never offered compassion to the wounded child. thank you for that
I have always been able to rationalize my parents harsh treatment to me as a child but I have never offered compassion to the wounded child. thank you for that
Thank you for creating a forum for us to think about ourselves.
Thank you, that was very helpful, and I got in touch with how my mom, dad and siblings must of been hurting to judge and abuse me for so long. I wish I had a chance to have a conversation with them before they passed. (2 brothers mom and dad)
This so hits home and I thank you for this. Over the last year my life has undergone a lot of changes. I realize only now how much of this is related to my constant self judgement. That always being harder on yourself than you are on others. That to some degree is a falsehood because you start to extend blame to others and become hard on other because of the way you judge yourself. Thank you forbthe awakening
I just keep telling myself to love myself as god loves me and it is ok I am lovable and I broke down in tears. I am worth love but I must love from my own heart! Thank you.
Thank you.
I feel that despite my mindfulness I need to be more persistent with it. I also need to fall in love with elf compassion.
I was hoping to learn something about how to shift out of the blame my children have for me and my CPTSD/DID and negative childhood experiences. We seem never to be able to get past them and make a restart as a family. 3 of them are doing well and my oldest, abused Inutero, is in a fighting divorce after being suffering Emotional Neglect from his emotionally unavailable wife,for 22 years,most likely suffers CPTSD himself but most likely will never give that any therapeutic attention, believing himself to be an Alpha Male, always blaming others for failing in giving him adequate attention. I guess the symbiotic phase Inutero was hampered with. I recently read a theory that if a child did not have that he or she will never be capable of forming healthy functional relationships as an adult. I knew i had had a bad childhood, but in the Netherlands PTSD for civilians had not even entered the therapeutic field and i chose to have children intending to do better than my mother. Now i know i never stood a chance and it would possibly have been better had i never had children. Although those would not agree.
Gertrude,
It would probably be of help to you to work on some self-compassion modules. As you build self-compassion it will help release shame and self-blame. Every parent does something that effects their children in a negative way. No one is perfect.
For some good modules on self-compassion go to https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Self-Compassion#MainContent
I hope this helps.
At peace with lifes experiences I was not in control of. Acceptance of trauma that changed my life and recognise that I have been admired for my resilience. Thankful Jehovah has shown me love and safety along the way showing me I am a worthy person. This came in the form of other people showing compassion and understanding towards me.
Let go of blaming myself for natural emotions which are like the turbulent sea.
Thank you so much.
Disappointed that it was a repeat of video 2 as I hoped to bury the hurt caused by others.
Just me
I enjoyed the 3 videos. But the last one repeated what I had heard in the previous two.
A repeat of second video. No new info.
confusion as to this video being the same as Video 2???
Freedom to be
This is the repeat to part 2
I’d be as free as a bird
This appears to be a repeat of the first video
tester