many thanks for this video. I see it as a confirmation of my world view and the work I have done to myself and others for so many years.
I am in the process of starting a workshop with the title “trust in the unknown” which means to observe the known inside and outside of me without changing it. With this attitude there is no difference between the observer and the observed.
Here in Germany it is not easy to support people in their way of changing by staying and observing in what is and not in trying to be different. Although the German poet Goethe tried to make this being with what is understandable, there is nearly no literature in German language about his scientific attitude.
So it helps me a lot and I am very grateful for getting your view of oneness, which also includes the world of the 10.000 things.
I would be a lot freer and more authentic and connected. I feel like I am a lot more judgemental and critical of myself but this has made me realise that I also attribute blame, perhaps more subtly, when I feel isolation or shame or guilt.
I realized that even as I try to practice self compassion, I have not been able to sit with myself in my weakness and pain. I give my pain a cursory nod and then I run…mentally or emotionally. I just now could be present and stay with my wounded self and feel such peace. Thank you
Thank you for the ideas you have for letting go of the past hurts and devastations I have been carrying along. I’m always surprised when they surface….I’m looking forward to more of your series on the topic!
Thank you. I have listened to your weekly teachings for years and have read your books. I am a retired mental health professional, but I am still in my 60’s and I am thinking of renewing my certifications so that I can share what I am still learning from you and from Kristin Neff. These practices have been and continue to be so helpful to me personally, and it seems to worthwhile to help others discover them.
I would be light and airy, the kind of person someone (anyone) would walk by and feel as if they could be themselves and feel my presence holding a safe space…
Thank you so much for these three very useful and enlightening videos, Dr Brach! I really appreciate this learning experience and look forward to the next step.
Thank you Tara. The concept of the other person’s leg caught in a trap has made a huge difference to my thinking. The first practice is to consciously remind myself of this … her leg is caught in a trap …
Thank you, Tara. I listen to many of your podcasts and have found them so valuable. I am going through a major life change. My husband of 37 years has a rare Stage 4 cancer and his life expectancy is less than 12 to 24 months. In addition, he decided he needed to become his “authentic” self, has left me and is having an affair. I found out after it had been going in for 5 months. Because he is ill, I decided not to pursue the divorce I had started. I will be his caretaker if he still agrees. I started therapy several months ago and thought I had forgiven him and realized how codependent I am and have been all my life. But recently, the hurt and anger have returned. I think your series will truly help me become more compassionate and forgiving towards him. Thank you??????
I realise that the hurt l feel because of the way my sister has treated me has been a constant friend my whole life. It is reinforced everytime l speak with her as l feel her disapproval towards me.
I can never tell her how l feel so l bottle it up.
I can feel compassion for myself knowing that l suffer, but l feel unable to find any sympathy for her, despite the video.
How can l let this feeling stop ruling my life?
If I let go of blaming my mothers physical, verbal & emotional abuse it would help me with acceptance of my responsibility to myself. To be willing to accept my life circumstances and have gratitude for what I have instead of always seeing what I don’t have which fuels my resentments. My inability to express anger as a child is being expressed as an adult in the form of bulimia
shoplifting, exercise, cleaning, to numb my pain. I’ve had therapists throughout my life but you Tara have shed light on so many issues. I attend irregularly on Wednesday nights in Bethesda. While I’ve heard your not working with individual therapy I ask if you have any suggestions to help reprogram my critical “moms” voice in my head.
Grateful for your service to help others like yourself become their TRUE SELF! ❤️
The U turn seems to shift one’s focus so that the thoughts of blame don’t dominate, you can open to your own feelings and attend to yourself with love and compassion. Focusing on what is in your control, giving yourself the love and understanding you need, rather than what is out of your control and can drain you, going round and round. Then allowing yourself to take the next step and look for the vulnerabilities in the other person further eases the burden of blame. Thank you.
I like what you said about creating more safety for the other person (and indirectly yourself), loved the story that illustrated it so clearly. Penny dropping moment for me. Thanks
Hi , I am struggling with trauma and trauma bonding. My husband and I Have been married for 34 years and together for 38. He was never an easy man to live with but I loved him even when the verbal abuse gradually increased over the years. January last year it got even worse and I he was yelling over the most minor of things. I was so confused by his behaviour. Then in August I discovered that he was having an affair with a girl WE went to school with. To say that I was devastated is an understatement. Then he took a job that was 4 hours away. So I felt abandoned all over again. I’m so hurt and confused I don’t know what to do. He is in regular contact which makes it even harder.
But I can’t get past the lies, he is hiding his belongings and big ticket items such as our caravan and also sneaking things out of the house. Most of the time I feel like I have to move on but I then I can’t seem to tell him I’m done. What is holding me back?
These teachings literally arrived out of the blue in to my inbox. I feel I have been waiting for them for years. I keep wondering if they were in some way sent by someone who I know I failed. Someone who has been greatly helped by Tara.
I was wondering how to continue these practices and am so happy that there are ways that I can .
Thank you so very much,Tara.
Who would I be? Probably the same person but one who enjoys who’s life much more of a moment to moment basis , More productive, more connected to myself and others, less alone, Freer to use my time here in joy, not anxiety or self deprivation.
Shawn Bishop, Another Field, College park , MD, USAsays
I would be a more compassionate mother to my teenage son Jackson. In his recent teen years he has experimented with and explored life in ways that reminded me of my older brother and I became afraid and angry that my life as a mother of a young and adult man would mirror that of my mother which was filled
With pain and disappointment. I thought only if my son changed would I avoid this fate. And if I stop blaming my son for my fear then I can have a loving and compassionate relationship with him. He’s a fabulous human being and I would like to be closer to him.
I can’t thank you enough for this series of videos. They are life changing. So empowering. When you have held i.e me onto the crippling pain body most of your life it is so addictive too and feels impossible to let get off, it takes a deep truth to dislodge it. The willingness to really forgive yourself and others. That question of who would I be if ……………… was such a heart opening for me. I have worked on healing from childhood incest for what seems like forever. I feel motivated alive and ready to come out of my retirement at 65 and start work again helping others to heal at such deep levels. Bless your open and compassionate heart.
Dear Tara, Your workshop has opened a door to my inner self: From the fight against the other who did me wrong I discovered the same pain and suffering that is rooted in my early childhood. Now I am connected to myself, feel compassion for myself and peace in myself. Thank you so much :-))
Thank you Tara!
I’ve come full circle and can now let go of the blame.
I hope “she “ can do the same.
I’m now ready to get back to being me! Loving and compassionate!
A reminder I needer to hear
Living in the present.
Dear Tara,
many thanks for this video. I see it as a confirmation of my world view and the work I have done to myself and others for so many years.
I am in the process of starting a workshop with the title “trust in the unknown” which means to observe the known inside and outside of me without changing it. With this attitude there is no difference between the observer and the observed.
Here in Germany it is not easy to support people in their way of changing by staying and observing in what is and not in trying to be different. Although the German poet Goethe tried to make this being with what is understandable, there is nearly no literature in German language about his scientific attitude.
So it helps me a lot and I am very grateful for getting your view of oneness, which also includes the world of the 10.000 things.
warm regards
Manfred
I would be a lot freer and more authentic and connected. I feel like I am a lot more judgemental and critical of myself but this has made me realise that I also attribute blame, perhaps more subtly, when I feel isolation or shame or guilt.
Making the U-turn and reflecting upon my experience with compassion would allow for choice.
I would be peaceful, happy and aware instead of ruminating.
I realized that even as I try to practice self compassion, I have not been able to sit with myself in my weakness and pain. I give my pain a cursory nod and then I run…mentally or emotionally. I just now could be present and stay with my wounded self and feel such peace. Thank you
Hi Tara,
Thank you for the ideas you have for letting go of the past hurts and devastations I have been carrying along. I’m always surprised when they surface….I’m looking forward to more of your series on the topic!
Excellent!
Lois
Thank you. I have listened to your weekly teachings for years and have read your books. I am a retired mental health professional, but I am still in my 60’s and I am thinking of renewing my certifications so that I can share what I am still learning from you and from Kristin Neff. These practices have been and continue to be so helpful to me personally, and it seems to worthwhile to help others discover them.
Thank you – a pleasure to see & hear you Tara, I am a massive fan of your work . ??
So very insightful – and kind to all parties involved. Thanks …
I would be light and airy, the kind of person someone (anyone) would walk by and feel as if they could be themselves and feel my presence holding a safe space…
What a beautiful 3 part exercise. Thank you for sharing this work.
Lisa
Thank you so much for these three very useful and enlightening videos, Dr Brach! I really appreciate this learning experience and look forward to the next step.
Thank you Tara. The concept of the other person’s leg caught in a trap has made a huge difference to my thinking. The first practice is to consciously remind myself of this … her leg is caught in a trap …
Thank you, Tara. I listen to many of your podcasts and have found them so valuable. I am going through a major life change. My husband of 37 years has a rare Stage 4 cancer and his life expectancy is less than 12 to 24 months. In addition, he decided he needed to become his “authentic” self, has left me and is having an affair. I found out after it had been going in for 5 months. Because he is ill, I decided not to pursue the divorce I had started. I will be his caretaker if he still agrees. I started therapy several months ago and thought I had forgiven him and realized how codependent I am and have been all my life. But recently, the hurt and anger have returned. I think your series will truly help me become more compassionate and forgiving towards him. Thank you??????
I realise that the hurt l feel because of the way my sister has treated me has been a constant friend my whole life. It is reinforced everytime l speak with her as l feel her disapproval towards me.
I can never tell her how l feel so l bottle it up.
I can feel compassion for myself knowing that l suffer, but l feel unable to find any sympathy for her, despite the video.
How can l let this feeling stop ruling my life?
I would have more moments of peace and joy.
If I let go of blaming my mothers physical, verbal & emotional abuse it would help me with acceptance of my responsibility to myself. To be willing to accept my life circumstances and have gratitude for what I have instead of always seeing what I don’t have which fuels my resentments. My inability to express anger as a child is being expressed as an adult in the form of bulimia
shoplifting, exercise, cleaning, to numb my pain. I’ve had therapists throughout my life but you Tara have shed light on so many issues. I attend irregularly on Wednesday nights in Bethesda. While I’ve heard your not working with individual therapy I ask if you have any suggestions to help reprogram my critical “moms” voice in my head.
Grateful for your service to help others like yourself become their TRUE SELF! ❤️
I have found that the more I blame others the harder it is to forgive myself for ways I cannot fully articulate
The U turn seems to shift one’s focus so that the thoughts of blame don’t dominate, you can open to your own feelings and attend to yourself with love and compassion. Focusing on what is in your control, giving yourself the love and understanding you need, rather than what is out of your control and can drain you, going round and round. Then allowing yourself to take the next step and look for the vulnerabilities in the other person further eases the burden of blame. Thank you.
I like what you said about creating more safety for the other person (and indirectly yourself), loved the story that illustrated it so clearly. Penny dropping moment for me. Thanks
I would be my true self.
At the heart of most of our problems – thank you Tara!
Free and happy
I hope to finally let go of the chronic trauma of my childhood and heal onxe and for all.
I am grateful for sharing your knowledge. This has come to my life at the right moment. Thank you!
A person free to be me. At peace.
I would be myself fully!
We cannot hear your wisdom too often. Thank you Tara.
A person yet closer to sailing in my direction rather than tacking in the winds from others’ lives.
Hi , I am struggling with trauma and trauma bonding. My husband and I Have been married for 34 years and together for 38. He was never an easy man to live with but I loved him even when the verbal abuse gradually increased over the years. January last year it got even worse and I he was yelling over the most minor of things. I was so confused by his behaviour. Then in August I discovered that he was having an affair with a girl WE went to school with. To say that I was devastated is an understatement. Then he took a job that was 4 hours away. So I felt abandoned all over again. I’m so hurt and confused I don’t know what to do. He is in regular contact which makes it even harder.
But I can’t get past the lies, he is hiding his belongings and big ticket items such as our caravan and also sneaking things out of the house. Most of the time I feel like I have to move on but I then I can’t seem to tell him I’m done. What is holding me back?
These teachings literally arrived out of the blue in to my inbox. I feel I have been waiting for them for years. I keep wondering if they were in some way sent by someone who I know I failed. Someone who has been greatly helped by Tara.
I was wondering how to continue these practices and am so happy that there are ways that I can .
Thank you so very much,Tara.
Thank you for sharing and allowing us to hear from your wise teachings. I will be using this with my clients. Thanks again Tara. Love and light.
Very helpful; I will listen again.
Who would I be? Probably the same person but one who enjoys who’s life much more of a moment to moment basis , More productive, more connected to myself and others, less alone, Freer to use my time here in joy, not anxiety or self deprivation.
Wow wow.
Doing the U turn Shifting the focus to myself just “thawed” me
Thank you
thank you Tara. It iis a deeply transforming practice.
I would be more content and connected. This is a good practice for me and one I intend to share with clients. Thank you
I would be a more compassionate mother to my teenage son Jackson. In his recent teen years he has experimented with and explored life in ways that reminded me of my older brother and I became afraid and angry that my life as a mother of a young and adult man would mirror that of my mother which was filled
With pain and disappointment. I thought only if my son changed would I avoid this fate. And if I stop blaming my son for my fear then I can have a loving and compassionate relationship with him. He’s a fabulous human being and I would like to be closer to him.
I am compassion for self and my brothers and sisters. ???
I can’t thank you enough for this series of videos. They are life changing. So empowering. When you have held i.e me onto the crippling pain body most of your life it is so addictive too and feels impossible to let get off, it takes a deep truth to dislodge it. The willingness to really forgive yourself and others. That question of who would I be if ……………… was such a heart opening for me. I have worked on healing from childhood incest for what seems like forever. I feel motivated alive and ready to come out of my retirement at 65 and start work again helping others to heal at such deep levels. Bless your open and compassionate heart.
Dear Tara, Your workshop has opened a door to my inner self: From the fight against the other who did me wrong I discovered the same pain and suffering that is rooted in my early childhood. Now I am connected to myself, feel compassion for myself and peace in myself. Thank you so much :-))
My heart would be lighter, I’d save time and energy for more constructive things and I’d be a happier person.
I would be more courageous and more authentic.
Great information,thankyou.
I’d be so much better. When I did the uturn I focused on myself entirely rather than the other person.
Great advice a valuable tool for letting go of heavy emotions
Thank you Tara!
I’ve come full circle and can now let go of the blame.
I hope “she “ can do the same.
I’m now ready to get back to being me! Loving and compassionate!
An authentic being. Thank you!