This is awesome! I have been through horror in my life and suffer a lot of judgement and inner critic and whilst listening and connecting I had some really deep realizations. How my father who tortured me always told me you see you are just like me and the fear of being like him causes zoo much judgement to check and make sure I am not like him.
Perhaps I could let go of the belief that I and others and situations should be perfect. I might then be able to let the shell crack and allow myself to hatch and come through the fear of entering life.
the exercises were really helpful, but it was hard to make the U-turn. The exercises help with the step back, to turn away from the story, and feel the feelings stronger and more deeply.
Thank you for sharing the videos
I found it useful. Not new information, as I have watched this pattern and done some of this work in myself, however, having it presented in a clear and concise way that was easy to understand and follow was helpful.
I will think more about using this with clients for whom I think it would be helpful. Thank you.
Jenny Gray, Social Work, Grass valley, CA, USAsays
I would feel softer, lighter and happier. I would be more available to myself and others. I would have more energy. I would be a safe place for myself and others. “The children drew close to her…as if she were the hearth….” Unknown
I’ve been reminded in this video about how the nature can be your mother and teacher and the missing puzzle what has to belong …i’d Like more of this encouraging quote and wisdom words. Thank you Tara .
This is extremely valuable for several of my patients. I believe the three step process offers hope to live a less critical and more compassionate life.
Thank you for your generosity.
Perhaps I could let go of the belief that I and others and situations should be perfect. I might then be able to let the shell crack and allow myself to hatch and come through the fear of entering life.
I think I would be able to be the mom I want to be with my children, I would be free to show up to them in a deeper, more present way, in a way that honor them fully and feels congruent to my values.
I have reached a point where I see how irresponsible I have been and now struggle to make it all fit in the week and catch on slips . Very good timing. Always live and welcome such forum discussion
Thanks so much for sharing that information. I really needed to hear that message today. It was very helpful having three short videos and the examples were excellent.
All is easier said than done since pride is a large wall that’s hard to take down. Feeling free does not have meaning until you really get to be who you think you could really become. I am not sure I get this part. I’ll give it a thought. Great video. Lots of tears falling throughout listing to Tara voice.
I would laugh more. I would feel less scared about sharing my vulnerable parts with safe people. I would feel free to explore intimacy with a chosen partner. I would feel okay making mistakes and failing. I would be free to find and express my true Self.
Thank you.
This is an amazing approach to cope with”chronic anxiety for things we don’t have all the control of”. I have been able to become more aware of this and very thankful of my friend who has always cane back to reach out and to increase my inner confidence and trust that our world can be a safer place . TAPPing about this particularly could be a great help. Lovingly and heartfelt thank you. I am a retired elementary teacher who has now been showing the same compassion for them.
I have decided to begin to re-imagine my childhood…starting right from my birth… to shift away from old stories that trap me in a belief that I was unloved and abandoned. Start the U-Turn from the beginning and have compassion on myself.
But I like the visual of the leg-hold trap; it creates a strong feeling of compassion within me.
Nancy Hall, Another Field, BRIARCLIFF MANOR, NY, USAsays
As I listened to you, Tara, and followed you through this process I found that my challenge was not as much chronic blame as chronic shame. And when I made u-turns if I ask myself what am I ashamed of, then answers and feelings (very sad ones) come up. If I let go of chronic shame? I am only imagine but I see a creatively free person who can express herself how and when she wants in small ways and big ways, whichever way fits the moment.
To my surprise, as I remembered how my first husband didn’t respect me, how his lip would curl up into a sneer when he looked at me, even though it had been 50 years since we split up, tears came to my eyes. I let myself feel the sadness, and then I remembered that his father had left his mother when he was young, and how worried and self-absorbed his mother was, how he probably felt he was “never enough,” and projected those feelings on me. I could feel compassion for him and feel that I didn’t have to be triggered into feeling my own unworthiness by those memories. Thank you!
Would feel better re my real self, including my “bad” feelings, and more able to offer compassion to myself and to others, This would grow and enable me to do this in my relationships with others.
Aiyana McKenzie, Counseling, Coos Bay, OR, USAsays
I’d have much less tension and pain in my body, giving me more freedom of movement and more energy to do the things I love.
I’d feel more joyful and exited to go to social events and I’d socialize more. I’d enjoy visiting my family more. I’d have a more positive outlook and more energy to interact and listen even more deeply to others and enjoy my life more.
I really enjoyed this. Using the imagination like this is hypnosis. It would be nice for the world to see more of this and less of using it for stage shows and ridiculousness. Thank you.
In myself, and in my work with clients, I’ve learned that it’s an internalized, harsh inner critic that keeps us trapped in feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. The exercises that you’ve presented shine a light on an escape route. Thank you, Tara.
Writing to point out a typo of the spelling of Judgment (spelled “judgement”– Brit spelling) in the setup to Tara’s video. Spelled correctly (American spelling) in the Comment Question above. 🙂
As far as video repeating #2, –albeit a tester–one can “get it” intellectually but repetition is a vital aspect of processing. Don’t know about you, but for me that is why I meditate using many of Tara’s guided medition that particularly reasonate with me.
This helped me to realize that seeing others’ reasons for their behavior and forgiving them opened the door for me to see the same for myself, and stop beating myself up for my mistakes. Thank you for these exercises; they will be helpful in my practice as well as for my self healing.
Thank you for this very clear talk and 2 ‘simple’ practices. I like this question, also – the use of our imagination to give us some courage to let go of the banana in the cage (I’m sure you’ve told that story somewhere!)
And thanks for all your teachings – I have listened to so many of your generously offered talks on youtube over the years.
I struggle with this so much and will consistently play these talks to help remind me to stop shooting the second arrow both at myself and at others. I would like more information on the program you mentioned.
If I let go of judgement & chronic blame, I would be “freer & lighter” to proceed to my next step & level in so many areas of my life. Thank you, for your thought-provoking quotations, illustrations & total presentation.
You are Amazing Tara, I continue to work on self compassion and now working on the U turn. What great examples. I am so Grateful for your messages to change my unhealthy patterns. Hope from your teachings gives me renewed Hope.
Thank You
I would be able to focus more on what’s real, and respond
This is awesome! I have been through horror in my life and suffer a lot of judgement and inner critic and whilst listening and connecting I had some really deep realizations. How my father who tortured me always told me you see you are just like me and the fear of being like him causes zoo much judgement to check and make sure I am not like him.
Thank you
Your great
I would have heaps more room in my brain to focus on positive moments in life, and be able to notice my own joys.
Thanks Tara
Perhaps I could let go of the belief that I and others and situations should be perfect. I might then be able to let the shell crack and allow myself to hatch and come through the fear of entering life.
Always a pleasure!
the exercises were really helpful, but it was hard to make the U-turn. The exercises help with the step back, to turn away from the story, and feel the feelings stronger and more deeply.
Thank you for sharing the videos
I found it useful. Not new information, as I have watched this pattern and done some of this work in myself, however, having it presented in a clear and concise way that was easy to understand and follow was helpful.
I will think more about using this with clients for whom I think it would be helpful. Thank you.
I feel like I return to myself and stop the war within myself. Priceless, thank you.
I would feel softer, lighter and happier. I would be more available to myself and others. I would have more energy. I would be a safe place for myself and others. “The children drew close to her…as if she were the hearth….” Unknown
i feel calmer
I would be at peace.
I’ve been reminded in this video about how the nature can be your mother and teacher and the missing puzzle what has to belong …i’d Like more of this encouraging quote and wisdom words. Thank you Tara .
The reflection the other person is caught in a trap helped me out of the cycle of blame
This was very helpful and moved at a good paced. Great insight and helpful tools for moving from judgment to compassion.
This is extremely valuable for several of my patients. I believe the three step process offers hope to live a less critical and more compassionate life.
Thank you for your generosity.
Perhaps I could let go of the belief that I and others and situations should be perfect. I might then be able to let the shell crack and allow myself to hatch and come through the fear of entering life.
I think I would be able to be the mom I want to be with my children, I would be free to show up to them in a deeper, more present way, in a way that honor them fully and feels congruent to my values.
I would be free! Finally free to discover my infinite potential. I would be healthy enough to the be able to contribute to the lives of others.
I have reached a point where I see how irresponsible I have been and now struggle to make it all fit in the week and catch on slips . Very good timing. Always live and welcome such forum discussion
Out of many of the videos that one has earned my interest.Exactly there are some great examples. Very thought through .
Thanks so much for sharing that information. I really needed to hear that message today. It was very helpful having three short videos and the examples were excellent.
All is easier said than done since pride is a large wall that’s hard to take down. Feeling free does not have meaning until you really get to be who you think you could really become. I am not sure I get this part. I’ll give it a thought. Great video. Lots of tears falling throughout listing to Tara voice.
I would laugh more. I would feel less scared about sharing my vulnerable parts with safe people. I would feel free to explore intimacy with a chosen partner. I would feel okay making mistakes and failing. I would be free to find and express my true Self.
Thank you.
Self judgement and self blame are the hardest to let go… I know I need to do it and this seems like a great way to start. Thanks
Thank you for your teachings.
This is an amazing approach to cope with”chronic anxiety for things we don’t have all the control of”. I have been able to become more aware of this and very thankful of my friend who has always cane back to reach out and to increase my inner confidence and trust that our world can be a safer place . TAPPing about this particularly could be a great help. Lovingly and heartfelt thank you. I am a retired elementary teacher who has now been showing the same compassion for them.
This has been so so helpful, thank you
I have decided to begin to re-imagine my childhood…starting right from my birth… to shift away from old stories that trap me in a belief that I was unloved and abandoned. Start the U-Turn from the beginning and have compassion on myself.
But I like the visual of the leg-hold trap; it creates a strong feeling of compassion within me.
Brilliant! Just loved the story telling and how you can relate it to yourself and others. Thanks soooo much Tara!
As I listened to you, Tara, and followed you through this process I found that my challenge was not as much chronic blame as chronic shame. And when I made u-turns if I ask myself what am I ashamed of, then answers and feelings (very sad ones) come up. If I let go of chronic shame? I am only imagine but I see a creatively free person who can express herself how and when she wants in small ways and big ways, whichever way fits the moment.
To my surprise, as I remembered how my first husband didn’t respect me, how his lip would curl up into a sneer when he looked at me, even though it had been 50 years since we split up, tears came to my eyes. I let myself feel the sadness, and then I remembered that his father had left his mother when he was young, and how worried and self-absorbed his mother was, how he probably felt he was “never enough,” and projected those feelings on me. I could feel compassion for him and feel that I didn’t have to be triggered into feeling my own unworthiness by those memories. Thank you!
Good info. Is the program for counseling professionals only?
I would be happy like children!!!!
Thank you so much for these videos. I am very grateful that I met you and hoping to meet you in person soon.
Thank you for sharing. I would love to look at this with parents and addressing generational trauma and beliefs.
Would feel better re my real self, including my “bad” feelings, and more able to offer compassion to myself and to others, This would grow and enable me to do this in my relationships with others.
I’d have much less tension and pain in my body, giving me more freedom of movement and more energy to do the things I love.
I’d feel more joyful and exited to go to social events and I’d socialize more. I’d enjoy visiting my family more. I’d have a more positive outlook and more energy to interact and listen even more deeply to others and enjoy my life more.
I would be enough & others would be enough too!
Thank you for sharing.
I really enjoyed this. Using the imagination like this is hypnosis. It would be nice for the world to see more of this and less of using it for stage shows and ridiculousness. Thank you.
In myself, and in my work with clients, I’ve learned that it’s an internalized, harsh inner critic that keeps us trapped in feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. The exercises that you’ve presented shine a light on an escape route. Thank you, Tara.
Writing to point out a typo of the spelling of Judgment (spelled “judgement”– Brit spelling) in the setup to Tara’s video. Spelled correctly (American spelling) in the Comment Question above. 🙂
As far as video repeating #2, –albeit a tester–one can “get it” intellectually but repetition is a vital aspect of processing. Don’t know about you, but for me that is why I meditate using many of Tara’s guided medition that particularly reasonate with me.
These tools have greatly help me to more on. I truly don’t feel alone.
I would be whole not disjointed or second guessing myself. I guess this means I would be more at peace with myself. Sounds so nice free and light.
My true self.
Barbara says:
So helpful, thank you.
This helped me to realize that seeing others’ reasons for their behavior and forgiving them opened the door for me to see the same for myself, and stop beating myself up for my mistakes. Thank you for these exercises; they will be helpful in my practice as well as for my self healing.
Thank you for this very clear talk and 2 ‘simple’ practices. I like this question, also – the use of our imagination to give us some courage to let go of the banana in the cage (I’m sure you’ve told that story somewhere!)
And thanks for all your teachings – I have listened to so many of your generously offered talks on youtube over the years.
I struggle with this so much and will consistently play these talks to help remind me to stop shooting the second arrow both at myself and at others. I would like more information on the program you mentioned.
If I let go of judgement & chronic blame, I would be “freer & lighter” to proceed to my next step & level in so many areas of my life. Thank you, for your thought-provoking quotations, illustrations & total presentation.
Thank you very much , it is so important to work with self compassion to be able to heal
You are Amazing Tara, I continue to work on self compassion and now working on the U turn. What great examples. I am so Grateful for your messages to change my unhealthy patterns. Hope from your teachings gives me renewed Hope.
Thank You
Very useful tools! I need constant reminding. Thank you so very much!