Clear and concise and very well done. I was shedding tears from halfway through to the end. Our lives and future are dependent on our healing … individually and collectively. Techniques such as this one being openly available could make all the difference in the world. The luxury of shedding tears can now be available to all. Keep up the good work.
I chose an event that happened when I was 13yrs old and it was the first time that I had shifted my focus to how I was feeling at that time and to spend a little time with the hurt I experienced at that time and that I have carried for the 40yrs since. I need to focus some more on this experience and show myself kindness and the other person involved, but I am so grateful to have been given these tools to do just that. Thank you x
BRIAN STEPPACHER, Other, SOUTH PORTLAND, ME, USAsays
The words “judgement and blame” carry negative connotations most of the time, but what if the verdict was a thumbs up? Accentuate the positive. Yes? That would make me smile.
What if the blame was actually giving praise and appreciation to someone whose actions were constructive, supportive and nurturing? Giving credit where credit is due. I bet there would be a lot more wagging and a lot less bark.
Thanks Tara.
I’m a keen listener to your podcasts, this is a lovely succinct teaching I’d love to introduce it to others. Always valuable to re visit, today the exercise replenished my compassion for my 7yr old daughter who struggles with “never enough” syndrome ?
If I let go of judgment and chronic blame I would be a happier person. I would be more compassionate, more able to forgive, better able to trust my judgment of who to trust and who to “let go” with loving kindness.
Jessalynn Misken MA ECSES, Teacher, Littleton, CO, USAsays
Thank you. I need constant reminders – of having grace and empathy for myself when I find myself blaming and becoming angry. I also experienced trauma intertwined with oppression and so for time the scar needed time to heal. However, through the love of family and friends along with education I can now turn towards compassion and free myself from the invisible lines that bind us in i forgiveness especially and most importantly towards ourselves. I need to allow grace and practice and way to constantly remind myself every time my vulnerability is wounded because intimacy and love is such a gift I receive by turning to peace and connection.
Thank you Tara for this and all the resources you offer, they are and have been so beautifully, generously given. I am a meditator and seek to add compassion tools to my practice. I send you heartfelt thanks.
I have a fair amount of compassion and am trying to have some for myself. I can see how others have their leg caught in a trap. But I still deep down think I am so ugly and flawed at some level that I should hide.
Jane
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Fatima Begum
Kidney Failure… I am asking if Everyone could put this as their status for 2 hours. I’m pretty sure and certain I know the ones that will. Think of…
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Thankyou i found that really useful. i do try using this for myself but my issue is that I see others needs as greater than mine as i recognise how they are hurting and this leads me to put up with abusive behaviour as i don’t know of any other way to deal with it. Thoughts on this would be welcome
Thanks a lot Tara ! It was an amazing experience to go through the mindfulness exercises. Self acceptance through self compassion and consciously working on it through mindfulness, what a great idea you shared. Thanks again !!
Thank you, Tara. This three part video series came to me at a time which was truly helpful. I am dealing with job loss and a lengthier unemployment season than expected. The inner blaming of myself and anger about the situation has been challenging. This video series is helping me on my journey to acceptance and self compassion. I am grateful to you and your team for this resource – for myself and my work with others.
I loved the Mother Teresa quote, Truly, we are all connected, it’s the opening of our eyes and Heart to that at realization. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
Thank You Tara. My whole life has has been ruled by fears of rejection, fueled by a flawed care giver in my childhood.
This 3 part workshop has been helpful, the tears have flowed! I am keeping it on my desktop to watch a few more times. The further down the path I go the less NUMB I feel and the less numb I feel the more pain I feel. I cannot go back to where I once was and I cannot stay where I am with all this pain I must move on and with help I will.
Once again, thank you and Namaste.
The most important idea I gained is that u have to build up strength and resilience before being able to move to compassion I am in a 12 step programme and was pushed into trying to b compassionate b4 i was ready and I had to work through a lot of trauma. This led to me feeling worse about myself as felt I was failing. I also needed to gain clarity on my life and only looking at my part in things just increased my shame and low self esteem. Blame, judgement etc is something i see in my work. The funding is not often available to give effective support to parents so the onus is put on to them and the are left feeling worse. Thank u. Any feedback welcome
Thank you
I can relate to the loss of self and recognized that I placed a huge weight of expectation on my partner to fix a hole I have in my heart from childhood. It’s as if we both want each other to fill this hurt and the only real solution is self compassion.
Why do you need my nane Too many hackers, Chiropractor, Phoenix , AZ, USAsays
My judgements come because my parents especially my mother would pit us against each other… I realized that the anger I felt towards my sister because I heard her misrepresenting me to my father.. of whom I’d just been told by my dying mother wasn’t my father would make me an outsider… excluded from being part of the family unit at least in a healthy way.. I realized I felt this way because it was true… my whole life is filled with lies of who I am … I really didn’t belong to that unit… I really am an outsider… I need to find my healthy tribe where I’m not hemmed in by the judgement that exists even if no one is judging because it’s tge truth
Thanks Tara for this practice and also the caveat when not to use it, that’s really made it clear for me where I can use the u turn. When I did the practice, I was surprised that it revealed a pattern that I had not been aware of in that particular relationship!
I’m grateful I learned to ‘take the path of least resistance’ with my elderly mum, acknowledging her needs and ‘accepting’ her sometimes very critical version of our story together. We’ve never had a touchy-feely mum/daughter r’ship but its wonderful that since I’ve relaxed and reached out more we have moments of real closeness.
Thank you Tara I will use this practice of compassion to help build my relationship with my brother. I have been on a spiritual journey to help find wellbeing but had not been successful.I suffered many traumas in my life. I found you just recently and just after a week of listening to your pod cast wow!!!I am starting to feel well again after 30 years. ThaNkyou for the work you do you have saved me xx
I realised why it took me so long to offer myself compassion, and why I needed to do that before I could offer compassion to the parent who judged me. I could feel the softening and was far less resistant to it than in the past. I realised that as I opened up to see the traps around their legs, that there was a photo of that parent as a baby on the sideboard next to me. This helped me to see their vulnerabilities and the generational trauma which was passed on. It’s also helped me see why I need to do more of this practice so that I am open to encouraging my clients to forgive themselves and those around them. Otherwise my defensiveness and resistance will block their process. Thank you.
Thanks Tara. I had ironically stumbled upon this approach (in seeing the perspective of others) a few months ago. It really changed my perspective towards the person I hold the most resentment and anger for. I like that I add in my own feelings as well. I look forward to using this technique. Thank you.
Life is hard when you constantly blame but being vulnerable leads to being taken advantage of which causes more pain. I hope by doing a u turn and feeling compassion for self I can love me enough to know not to let others control me and be who I am meant to be a loving kind human. ??❤️
Oh superb. I got it and felt my own pain around not being important enough for a phone call. So deep and refreshing. I would be lighter and filled with joy.
Hi Tara,
What a wonderful info you have shared with us. As a victim of child abuse how can I build inner resilience? I would like to make that U turn. Love and light
Tara , your heart is so open that listening to you brings tears in my eyes and love to everyone. Thank you for showing us the way to liberate ourselves from unnecessary self- created sufferings.
When i almost stepped outside of myself to be softer and kinder to my hurt self, i felt less pain in my chest. I need compassion from me, to me, in order to let some things go…
I felt the depth of sadness I feel because I don’t have a positive or authentic relationship with members of my biological family. I was able to gently rub my chest to self-sooth with phrases, “It’s ok to feel this way, Ter.” “Yes, it hurts my heart.” I wept. And then I focused on an interaction with my sister and could see her own suffering in her own life. I felt an easing of the pain in my heart after tearing up because she is experiencing so much stress in her life. Thank you!
I am not angry when I can do this. I try to practice this often. I see it help my clients when they are processing feelings about a parent or loved one who has hurt them also
This was so good to think of the deep impact that these practices have in soothing the mind, having compassion and forgiving your self and others. I shall certainly be practicing it myself and bringing it into my practice.
Clear and concise and very well done. I was shedding tears from halfway through to the end. Our lives and future are dependent on our healing … individually and collectively. Techniques such as this one being openly available could make all the difference in the world. The luxury of shedding tears can now be available to all. Keep up the good work.
That was heart-felt. Thanks.
Really good strategies for learning to see things differently. Thanks
Thank you again Tara for providing instruction and compassion to those in need. I am on my journey to self compassion and your videos have helped.
I would probably be lighter and more compassionate with others and able to view others more clearly.
Love this.
I chose an event that happened when I was 13yrs old and it was the first time that I had shifted my focus to how I was feeling at that time and to spend a little time with the hurt I experienced at that time and that I have carried for the 40yrs since. I need to focus some more on this experience and show myself kindness and the other person involved, but I am so grateful to have been given these tools to do just that. Thank you x
The words “judgement and blame” carry negative connotations most of the time, but what if the verdict was a thumbs up? Accentuate the positive. Yes? That would make me smile.
What if the blame was actually giving praise and appreciation to someone whose actions were constructive, supportive and nurturing? Giving credit where credit is due. I bet there would be a lot more wagging and a lot less bark.
Thanks Tara.
I’m a keen listener to your podcasts, this is a lovely succinct teaching I’d love to introduce it to others. Always valuable to re visit, today the exercise replenished my compassion for my 7yr old daughter who struggles with “never enough” syndrome ?
I would feel lighter and freer. More comfortable in myself. Less judging of myself and others
If I let go of judgment and chronic blame I would be a happier person. I would be more compassionate, more able to forgive, better able to trust my judgment of who to trust and who to “let go” with loving kindness.
I would feel freer and lighter. Easier with myself and others
I began to cry as I thought about how I was never enough for my mother. And, how I often transmit that feeling to my husband and daughter.
I believe I would be more present in my relationships with them if I could let go of those feelings of judgment and chronic blame.
Thank you! That wisdom was so accessible in such a short teaching! Either that, or I was at the perfect moment to receive what was said. Thanks!
I would be much freer and more humble, happier and lighter, more loving, and easier to be with.
Thank you. I need constant reminders – of having grace and empathy for myself when I find myself blaming and becoming angry. I also experienced trauma intertwined with oppression and so for time the scar needed time to heal. However, through the love of family and friends along with education I can now turn towards compassion and free myself from the invisible lines that bind us in i forgiveness especially and most importantly towards ourselves. I need to allow grace and practice and way to constantly remind myself every time my vulnerability is wounded because intimacy and love is such a gift I receive by turning to peace and connection.
Relief…
Thank you Tara for this and all the resources you offer, they are and have been so beautifully, generously given. I am a meditator and seek to add compassion tools to my practice. I send you heartfelt thanks.
I have a fair amount of compassion and am trying to have some for myself. I can see how others have their leg caught in a trap. But I still deep down think I am so ugly and flawed at some level that I should hide.
Hi
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Hi,
Thankyou i found that really useful. i do try using this for myself but my issue is that I see others needs as greater than mine as i recognise how they are hurting and this leads me to put up with abusive behaviour as i don’t know of any other way to deal with it. Thoughts on this would be welcome
Thanks a lot Tara ! It was an amazing experience to go through the mindfulness exercises. Self acceptance through self compassion and consciously working on it through mindfulness, what a great idea you shared. Thanks again !!
…I would be able to be more spontaneous and present in the moment. Thanks
U Turn…radical responsibility.
Leg in a trap….seeing with fresh eyes….larger perspectives
…..so necessary for Healing&True Freedom
N-j0y…nAz
Thank you, Tara. This three part video series came to me at a time which was truly helpful. I am dealing with job loss and a lengthier unemployment season than expected. The inner blaming of myself and anger about the situation has been challenging. This video series is helping me on my journey to acceptance and self compassion. I am grateful to you and your team for this resource – for myself and my work with others.
I loved the Mother Teresa quote, Truly, we are all connected, it’s the opening of our eyes and Heart to that at realization. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
Thank You Tara. My whole life has has been ruled by fears of rejection, fueled by a flawed care giver in my childhood.
This 3 part workshop has been helpful, the tears have flowed! I am keeping it on my desktop to watch a few more times. The further down the path I go the less NUMB I feel and the less numb I feel the more pain I feel. I cannot go back to where I once was and I cannot stay where I am with all this pain I must move on and with help I will.
Once again, thank you and Namaste.
A much happier confident person
The most important idea I gained is that u have to build up strength and resilience before being able to move to compassion I am in a 12 step programme and was pushed into trying to b compassionate b4 i was ready and I had to work through a lot of trauma. This led to me feeling worse about myself as felt I was failing. I also needed to gain clarity on my life and only looking at my part in things just increased my shame and low self esteem. Blame, judgement etc is something i see in my work. The funding is not often available to give effective support to parents so the onus is put on to them and the are left feeling worse. Thank u. Any feedback welcome
I have already started on this road and really enjoyed listening to you. Thank you
Helpful.
Thank you
I can relate to the loss of self and recognized that I placed a huge weight of expectation on my partner to fix a hole I have in my heart from childhood. It’s as if we both want each other to fill this hurt and the only real solution is self compassion.
My judgements come because my parents especially my mother would pit us against each other… I realized that the anger I felt towards my sister because I heard her misrepresenting me to my father.. of whom I’d just been told by my dying mother wasn’t my father would make me an outsider… excluded from being part of the family unit at least in a healthy way.. I realized I felt this way because it was true… my whole life is filled with lies of who I am … I really didn’t belong to that unit… I really am an outsider… I need to find my healthy tribe where I’m not hemmed in by the judgement that exists even if no one is judging because it’s tge truth
Self-compassion brings warmth, care, and kindness and opens me up to sharing these with others.
Thanks Tara for this practice and also the caveat when not to use it, that’s really made it clear for me where I can use the u turn. When I did the practice, I was surprised that it revealed a pattern that I had not been aware of in that particular relationship!
I’m grateful I learned to ‘take the path of least resistance’ with my elderly mum, acknowledging her needs and ‘accepting’ her sometimes very critical version of our story together. We’ve never had a touchy-feely mum/daughter r’ship but its wonderful that since I’ve relaxed and reached out more we have moments of real closeness.
Thank you Tara I will use this practice of compassion to help build my relationship with my brother. I have been on a spiritual journey to help find wellbeing but had not been successful.I suffered many traumas in my life. I found you just recently and just after a week of listening to your pod cast wow!!!I am starting to feel well again after 30 years. ThaNkyou for the work you do you have saved me xx
I realised why it took me so long to offer myself compassion, and why I needed to do that before I could offer compassion to the parent who judged me. I could feel the softening and was far less resistant to it than in the past. I realised that as I opened up to see the traps around their legs, that there was a photo of that parent as a baby on the sideboard next to me. This helped me to see their vulnerabilities and the generational trauma which was passed on. It’s also helped me see why I need to do more of this practice so that I am open to encouraging my clients to forgive themselves and those around them. Otherwise my defensiveness and resistance will block their process. Thank you.
Magnificent as always. You’re an angel
Thanks Tara. I had ironically stumbled upon this approach (in seeing the perspective of others) a few months ago. It really changed my perspective towards the person I hold the most resentment and anger for. I like that I add in my own feelings as well. I look forward to using this technique. Thank you.
Life is hard when you constantly blame but being vulnerable leads to being taken advantage of which causes more pain. I hope by doing a u turn and feeling compassion for self I can love me enough to know not to let others control me and be who I am meant to be a loving kind human. ??❤️
Oh superb. I got it and felt my own pain around not being important enough for a phone call. So deep and refreshing. I would be lighter and filled with joy.
Thank you. I have had fleeting moments when I can see this working. I aim to keep practicing.
Hi Tara,
What a wonderful info you have shared with us. As a victim of child abuse how can I build inner resilience? I would like to make that U turn. Love and light
Tara , your heart is so open that listening to you brings tears in my eyes and love to everyone. Thank you for showing us the way to liberate ourselves from unnecessary self- created sufferings.
It was useful to review what I experienced as a slight at work on Friday using this technique. Thank you.
When i almost stepped outside of myself to be softer and kinder to my hurt self, i felt less pain in my chest. I need compassion from me, to me, in order to let some things go…
I felt the depth of sadness I feel because I don’t have a positive or authentic relationship with members of my biological family. I was able to gently rub my chest to self-sooth with phrases, “It’s ok to feel this way, Ter.” “Yes, it hurts my heart.” I wept. And then I focused on an interaction with my sister and could see her own suffering in her own life. I felt an easing of the pain in my heart after tearing up because she is experiencing so much stress in her life. Thank you!
I am not angry when I can do this. I try to practice this often. I see it help my clients when they are processing feelings about a parent or loved one who has hurt them also
This was so good to think of the deep impact that these practices have in soothing the mind, having compassion and forgiving your self and others. I shall certainly be practicing it myself and bringing it into my practice.
Holding in my heart all of us brave enough to take on this heart work. It’s hard. It’s necessary. For me, it’s a step towards hope and healing.