Same to me, I couldn’t bear the image of the trapped dog, it is this instinctive human side that continues and persists. Being inclusive rather than Being wounded and not heard or understood, there is nothing comparable when it happens to you. This will stay with me for a long time. Thank you, Tara for your teaching.
Elke Käppner, Counseling, Delray Beach , FL, USAsays
Hello Tara, I appreciate you sharing these steps. I love the 2 arrow and the trapped dog story. For me connecting with my insecurity where I felt vulnerable shifted after I connected with the younger me and then further with the ocean and wave imagery. Love to receive your download of the 3 steps. Elke
Hi Tara.
You are just such a spectacular teacher. In 3 videos you have taught what I have found to be the fundamental truth to self and relational healing and compassion. Thank you!
Ada
I have realized I have become friendlier, accepting of myself and all the strong emotions that flow. It hasn’t been easy but can get easier and online help wasn’t my first option of choice. Since we are in the digital world, even my therapist would encourage me to use this tool, that isn’t always helpful or the most effective way for connection. So to say, it is to get the words out that it really works best for me. It is chronic but I have learned — just as with food and slips that I can monitor my ups and downs. It won’t go anywhere easily. I don’t spend or have much time for meditations but when I can I stop and reflect, even if it is for a second.
Thank you, Tara, so much for this 3 part workshop on how to manifest compassion in our lives. There’s been much emotional abuse in our family and one person, in particular is having difficulty letting go of the hurt. She has been in recovery from alcohol and drugs for about a year and a half and we’re of course, very happy for that, but she engages in stirring up resentments among other family members, planting seeds in other peoples minds and creating drama. We’ve concluded that we just have to keep loving her until she comes around and understands that she’s safe and we can all love each other and be together as a family.
Thanks for talking about retraumatising when clients turn to « what is in the here and now », and explaining that it could happen.It was the case for clients but also for myself…
Pat Preble, Another Field, San Francisco , CA, USAsays
I really liked the turn around and saying “It’s okay to feel this way,” and then just breathing with the hurt and pain. It will clear. The foot in the trap is a great simile.
I have been brutally traumatized as a kid in every way. long years in therapy didn’t help as I was disassociating and couldn’t really open up to any of my therapists, especially in the middle east they didn’t care and were not very professional I felt they put me on pills and never really tried to connect. Last year after having a very bad episode I went to a therapist who helped me with hypnosis which helped a lot after that I felt that I need to take charge and started to heal myself by exploring myself. I relocated went to London and started my acting training in a new technique, acting training has been very therapeutic through the years and helped to get in touch with all the neglected emotions and knowing myself. It’s going well so far but I keep hitting the wall in developing loving kindness to myself i take few steps forward then find myself hitting rock bottom. My inner child or- that’s how it feels to me -or /and my body they are not really following me. I see and know everything on a conscious level yet the sadness is so deep that it turns to physical pain in my chest. Like right now it’s very painful as I’ve trying to work and accept my anger all week. It’s been a year of only trying to develop loving kindness to meself and the progress is very little. I’m hoping to find something to help me with this. Wondering if the online workshop you just mentioned would help me? What you mentioned about blame gave me more insight but I’ve done a lot of online workshops and the experience wasn’t very beneficial. sometimes I feel the wound is too deep to be healed virtually. What do you think?
I would be more accepting of my true self as I am. When I recalled a situation underneath was a great deal of hurt, which in this moment I feel I need to heal before I can look compassionately to that other, even though through the awork I’ve done on my own journey, they too will have their difficulties and for that is like to be able to show compassion, we are all trying to find happiness in this life, the key is to do. It with kindness and compassion to others. Over time I hope I can sit with this deep hurt and continue to heal.
All 3 videos resonated with me. I have come a long way in my self healing however I still have more miles to go. Your calming voice and words of wisdom went straight into my heart. Thank you ?
Mindy Mischle, Health Education, Camden, ME, USAsays
I would be able to give more of myself to the world by not criticizing my actions and work as if I already know what others response would be. They are not all the same as those who criticized me.
Would love to heal the damaged part of myself where all the fear resides that turns into judgement and withdrawal. I hope through this practice, I can regain my powerful self. Thank you.
Thank you for your help. Cronic self-judgment, anxiety, and depression has affected me for decades. Your video has been a great help and I look forward to working more with you.
Helpful practice. I think this is an accurate assessment of the nature of blame and a great practice for transforming its grip. I also appreciated the examples of how it would be counter productiv for certain people and situations. I found reassurance that we were reminded that our own heart would give us guidance when we were ready to move from blame. — when I practiced reflecting on a sense of injustice i have against a family memeber where I feel blame… I began to contact the experience of the feeling… it felt equally empty and barbed like a vaccume in space with barbs that would poke, searing hot and dry… then, another example of blame showed up from another person… I thought that was interesting and if I hadn’t been so aware I may have let that snowball into a blame festival… I felt again hurt and scared and almost panicked to express this injustice so that it doesn’t happen again… I reminded myself that this is a short practice and that today we are just looking at one example… I felt like it would be very easy to get sucked into fear and blame if I wasn’t hyper vigilant about staying present… I’m currently working on my mindfulness mediations so maybe my present moment awareness muscle needs to be stronger… Anyways, I did feel a shift when considering the other persons “leg trap”. Another interesting thing is that even without this formal introduction from Tara my experience in learning how to be kind (to myself and others) seems to have all these practices built into them. I’ve started to connect to myself and the feelings Im experiencing when I begin to feel anger and blame arise… it’s opened the door to seeing others as hurting or suffering as well. It’s like my tunnel vision is opening up and I can witness others more as who they are without thinking they are attacking me.
Your videos are so helpful to me. My emotions overwhelm me sometimes and often used to cause me to overeat. Gradually I am learning to control this with lots of help from meditation and mindfulness which I came to by watching your Youtube teachings. Cannot thank you enough Tara.
Marilyn nielsen, Another Field, Grand Rapids, MI, USAsays
I think I let go of self judgement and blame but then it happens over and over with this same person. I walk on eggshells not knowing when they may blow up and not speak to me again for months on end.
Thank you so much Tara for your kind offerings through your work. It does deeply resonate with me in my own inner life’s work. My story includes similar elements as what you’ve shared. It is such good and kind and important work. My need at this time is to find supportive encouragement, it is not always easy to be the one in the front lines of this courageous path. There is so much need. And not always enough time to reach others in need of this way of being.
Hochima Treppa, Marriage/Family Therapy, Cotati, CA, USAsays
I have a new client stuck in self-judgment fueling her fears and loathe to give compassion to her fears, for whom I think the exercises in this video and the second video will be very useful! Thanks so much for this generous sharing!
Thank you so much Tara, it’s precious to take time and have guidance to see through difficult emotions, or states of uneasiness, unworthyness
Then, it feels so much softer and peaceful
This has provided me with hope. My mother recently died and I hold a lot of hatred and anger at her. I want to forgive her and love her. I don’t want to carry the anger and hurt with me for the rest of my life.
Thank you Tara for the wonderful story about the U turn and the boy with the dog. A great reminder that those who seem to cause us hurt, are usually very wounded themselves and in a great deal of pain.
I’d be lighter, freer, friendlier, more relaxed, less uptight and less critical of others. ❤️
Same to me, I couldn’t bear the image of the trapped dog, it is this instinctive human side that continues and persists. Being inclusive rather than Being wounded and not heard or understood, there is nothing comparable when it happens to you. This will stay with me for a long time. Thank you, Tara for your teaching.
Thank you very much. I am a passionate “follower’ of self compassion and will include this into my practice. Thank you. Rina
Hello Tara, I appreciate you sharing these steps. I love the 2 arrow and the trapped dog story. For me connecting with my insecurity where I felt vulnerable shifted after I connected with the younger me and then further with the ocean and wave imagery. Love to receive your download of the 3 steps. Elke
Hi Tara.
You are just such a spectacular teacher. In 3 videos you have taught what I have found to be the fundamental truth to self and relational healing and compassion. Thank you!
Ada
The steps you suggest are very welcome and useful in a gentle way to work with my own issues with self and other judgment. Thank you for this
Tara, Thank you for these video’s they have began to help me be more excepting of my self.
Love and except ace,
Bev
Absolutely agree with you, Angela.
All 3 videos resonated with me. I would be happy, loving and free being my own best friend instead of being at war with myself
I might be able to find the loving, supportive family I have always desperately wanted.
I have realized I have become friendlier, accepting of myself and all the strong emotions that flow. It hasn’t been easy but can get easier and online help wasn’t my first option of choice. Since we are in the digital world, even my therapist would encourage me to use this tool, that isn’t always helpful or the most effective way for connection. So to say, it is to get the words out that it really works best for me. It is chronic but I have learned — just as with food and slips that I can monitor my ups and downs. It won’t go anywhere easily. I don’t spend or have much time for meditations but when I can I stop and reflect, even if it is for a second.
I would be free.
Tara, thank you. These three videos have been so timely for me – especially the second one – powerful images of the two arrows.
Thank you, Tara, so much for this 3 part workshop on how to manifest compassion in our lives. There’s been much emotional abuse in our family and one person, in particular is having difficulty letting go of the hurt. She has been in recovery from alcohol and drugs for about a year and a half and we’re of course, very happy for that, but she engages in stirring up resentments among other family members, planting seeds in other peoples minds and creating drama. We’ve concluded that we just have to keep loving her until she comes around and understands that she’s safe and we can all love each other and be together as a family.
I’d be joyful and free, welcoming and loving to myself and others. Thank you so much.
I would continue to focus less on myself and much more on serving others for the betterment of humanity.
Thank you Tara.
Love and compassion
Monique
Lending self-compassion to myself felt like a nourishing practice that could potentially help me have less judgement towards my own feelings
Thanks for talking about retraumatising when clients turn to « what is in the here and now », and explaining that it could happen.It was the case for clients but also for myself…
I really liked the turn around and saying “It’s okay to feel this way,” and then just breathing with the hurt and pain. It will clear. The foot in the trap is a great simile.
I have been brutally traumatized as a kid in every way. long years in therapy didn’t help as I was disassociating and couldn’t really open up to any of my therapists, especially in the middle east they didn’t care and were not very professional I felt they put me on pills and never really tried to connect. Last year after having a very bad episode I went to a therapist who helped me with hypnosis which helped a lot after that I felt that I need to take charge and started to heal myself by exploring myself. I relocated went to London and started my acting training in a new technique, acting training has been very therapeutic through the years and helped to get in touch with all the neglected emotions and knowing myself. It’s going well so far but I keep hitting the wall in developing loving kindness to myself i take few steps forward then find myself hitting rock bottom. My inner child or- that’s how it feels to me -or /and my body they are not really following me. I see and know everything on a conscious level yet the sadness is so deep that it turns to physical pain in my chest. Like right now it’s very painful as I’ve trying to work and accept my anger all week. It’s been a year of only trying to develop loving kindness to meself and the progress is very little. I’m hoping to find something to help me with this. Wondering if the online workshop you just mentioned would help me? What you mentioned about blame gave me more insight but I’ve done a lot of online workshops and the experience wasn’t very beneficial. sometimes I feel the wound is too deep to be healed virtually. What do you think?
I would be more accepting of my true self as I am. When I recalled a situation underneath was a great deal of hurt, which in this moment I feel I need to heal before I can look compassionately to that other, even though through the awork I’ve done on my own journey, they too will have their difficulties and for that is like to be able to show compassion, we are all trying to find happiness in this life, the key is to do. It with kindness and compassion to others. Over time I hope I can sit with this deep hurt and continue to heal.
All 3 videos resonated with me. I have come a long way in my self healing however I still have more miles to go. Your calming voice and words of wisdom went straight into my heart. Thank you ?
I would be free of the weight of chronic blame, free to direct more compassion and positive energy toward myself and others.
Thank you, Tara.
I would be able to give more of myself to the world by not criticizing my actions and work as if I already know what others response would be. They are not all the same as those who criticized me.
Would love to heal the damaged part of myself where all the fear resides that turns into judgement and withdrawal. I hope through this practice, I can regain my powerful self. Thank you.
Thank you for your help. Cronic self-judgment, anxiety, and depression has affected me for decades. Your video has been a great help and I look forward to working more with you.
Thank you for these. Helpful for myself as well as clients. I found the third one particularly helpful and will use for myself too and will pass on.
A bodhisaatva!
Thank you for these. Helpful for myself as well as clients. I found the third one particularly helpful and will use for myself too.
I long to be free from blame and shame! The U Turn resonated!?
I’ll practice it. Thank you, Tara. ❤️
I would be free to move on
Thank you the shift was pretty amazing I was able to feel the love♥️ and compassion for self that I really didn’t realize I had omitted
Helpful practice. I think this is an accurate assessment of the nature of blame and a great practice for transforming its grip. I also appreciated the examples of how it would be counter productiv for certain people and situations. I found reassurance that we were reminded that our own heart would give us guidance when we were ready to move from blame. — when I practiced reflecting on a sense of injustice i have against a family memeber where I feel blame… I began to contact the experience of the feeling… it felt equally empty and barbed like a vaccume in space with barbs that would poke, searing hot and dry… then, another example of blame showed up from another person… I thought that was interesting and if I hadn’t been so aware I may have let that snowball into a blame festival… I felt again hurt and scared and almost panicked to express this injustice so that it doesn’t happen again… I reminded myself that this is a short practice and that today we are just looking at one example… I felt like it would be very easy to get sucked into fear and blame if I wasn’t hyper vigilant about staying present… I’m currently working on my mindfulness mediations so maybe my present moment awareness muscle needs to be stronger… Anyways, I did feel a shift when considering the other persons “leg trap”. Another interesting thing is that even without this formal introduction from Tara my experience in learning how to be kind (to myself and others) seems to have all these practices built into them. I’ve started to connect to myself and the feelings Im experiencing when I begin to feel anger and blame arise… it’s opened the door to seeing others as hurting or suffering as well. It’s like my tunnel vision is opening up and I can witness others more as who they are without thinking they are attacking me.
I would be a more free and joyful version of myself.
I would be able to let go of my own negative thoughts and have more compassion for myself and others.
Your videos are so helpful to me. My emotions overwhelm me sometimes and often used to cause me to overeat. Gradually I am learning to control this with lots of help from meditation and mindfulness which I came to by watching your Youtube teachings. Cannot thank you enough Tara.
Clear, expansive and powerful within myself, activated outwards with compassion.
I think I let go of self judgement and blame but then it happens over and over with this same person. I walk on eggshells not knowing when they may blow up and not speak to me again for months on end.
What then?
I would become a more happy and laid back person and give my full compassion and empathy in my relationships.
I would be so grateful to be free from blame and shame! Thank you fro the u turn change!!
I would be someone who feels freerer, lighter, more prepared to take risk, happier and less stressed.
Thank you so much Tara for your kind offerings through your work. It does deeply resonate with me in my own inner life’s work. My story includes similar elements as what you’ve shared. It is such good and kind and important work. My need at this time is to find supportive encouragement, it is not always easy to be the one in the front lines of this courageous path. There is so much need. And not always enough time to reach others in need of this way of being.
I have a new client stuck in self-judgment fueling her fears and loathe to give compassion to her fears, for whom I think the exercises in this video and the second video will be very useful! Thanks so much for this generous sharing!
I would be someone who knows far greater peace. Far greater compassion for myself and for others.
I loved these videos. They are so simply put. Thankyou! They were very helpful!
Thank you so much Tara, it’s precious to take time and have guidance to see through difficult emotions, or states of uneasiness, unworthyness
Then, it feels so much softer and peaceful
This has provided me with hope. My mother recently died and I hold a lot of hatred and anger at her. I want to forgive her and love her. I don’t want to carry the anger and hurt with me for the rest of my life.
I would be a more relaxed, less uptight person.
Thank you Tara for the wonderful story about the U turn and the boy with the dog. A great reminder that those who seem to cause us hurt, are usually very wounded themselves and in a great deal of pain.
I wish I could say this helps. But it doesn’t. It very kind of you to offer this but it is not working for me.