I loved these new teachings by Tara… so important to remember that “the dog” that showed his teeth might have his leg in a trap, so too the person that hurt us.
Thank you Tara and Ruth!
I suffer from anxiety and all my life have believed that “I’m not good enough”, “there’s something wrong with me”, I’m undeserving of goodness”.
The practice of accepting myself and theses feelings and bringing love and kindness to myself and feeling it in my body, is very helpful.
Thank you!
I ;ve felt in tears and gave myself the permission to feel it. I have a wonderful therapist who easily makes me understand that “it shall also pass”. I have seen her for a decade. It works for me
I would be the loving, kind and compassionate being that I am, all the time and would not close myself to feelings and loving instincts that I do when I am caught in self-, or other judgment.
Thank you
It’s challenging to use self compassion on myself in one particular situation. But in other situations it’s much easier. I encourage my clients to be self compassionate. I’ll be using the dog in the wood analogy. Thank you ??
The image of the trapped dog is a very powerful metaphor. While easier said than done, I continue to work with myself and others to maintain an attitude of curiosity rather than to assume that initial assumptions are correct.
I would be able to connect with the other whom I’d previously blamed, because I would be fully in connection with my true compassionate self – when we are connected inside, love flows naturally through us and from us.
In the situation I thought of I had actually invested compassion in the person who had hurt me I did that first and was so busy identifying with their state of mind that I didn’t give myself permission to identify with my own.
Hi Tara, I’ve been using some of these practices for a while now, and have really found them to shift my inner dialogue towards more self-compassion. My question though, how does one practically help those who have been systemically oppressed? In working with the LGBTQ population, I see how much of my clients’ anger and fears are valid.
I thought of my ongoing battle with my teenage daughter and realised that I’m just so scared of having been a terrible mother that I forgot to think what she is going through .
I would allow myself to be with members of my family without the negative incurrent that is often there for me. I would allow them to just be themselves and not worry about the past but enjoy the present.
Joanne Barbieri, Marriage/Family Therapy, Victorville, CA, USAsays
I found this very helpful in dealing with some hurt in my own past. You had mentioned, Tara, this might not be appropriate for some who have been extremely traumatized, e.g., sexual, physical abuse or neglect as a child. It may be impossible for them to do the deep work involved in shifting from judgement and blame to compassion. What do you do then?
Teresa Habibian, Another Field, Salt Lake City, UT, USAsays
Whoa, this really showed me where I was blaming myself, AND THEN to how it felt to be blamed so resolutely (shocked, unsupported, frozen, stuck, completely without compassion or benefit of the doubt, horrible). Oh man, that is a dark place. Thank you, I had no idea. Letting love and awareness heal now that I have registered this.
Theresa Carbuto, Other, Williston Park, NY, USAsays
I would be allowing God’s love and creative power to flow through me which is always meant for the good. This is true freedom to be who I was created to be my true Self.
I would be so much more free and able to feel more joy if my own judgement and self blame / harsh critic – was gone and it’s something I want to achieve soonest
The image of the dog whose leg is in a trap is for me, a powerful metaphor. Once I can visualise this, it is so much easier to move to a more compassionate place of forgiveness for myself and for those that have hurt me.
Thank you.
I often face experiences and then let go with compassion and an understanding of others vulnerability only to find that I have set myself up for another undesirable event. I feel manipulated and taken for granted, walked all over like a doormat. When is it time to walk away and not feel obligated to “make nice”?
JT,I agree that boundaries need to be made and maintained and that forgiveness does not mean giving permission to continue devaluing or humiliating or hurting you. I think forgiveness is about having compassion for those who hurt us, understanding their wounds that drive their behavior, which may or may NOT mean re-establishing communication and contact. I think in Stefan’s case it’s just as likely reaching out to his father would not have resulted in any love or caring towards Stefan, sometimes people change and sometimes they don’t. I think far more important than Stefan connecting with his father is Stefan’s ability to understand and “get” his father’s emotional pain, which was handed down to him by his father and on back through generations, and see his father’s devaluation of his son was about his father’s wounding, not Stefan, and then most important to stop that abusive behavior, towards himself, his own son, and others.
This comment is in relation to JT’s comment. I agree that boundaries need to be made and maintained and that forgiveness does not mean giving permission to continue devaluing or humiliating or hurting you. I think forgiveness is about having compassion for those who hurt us, understanding their wounds that drive their behavior, which may or may NOT mean re-establishing communication and contact. I think in Stefan’s case it’s just as likely reaching out to his father would not have resulted in any love or caring towards Stefan, sometimes people change and sometimes they don’t. I think far more important than Stefan connecting with his father is Stefan’s ability to understand and “get” his father’s emotional pain, which was handed down to him by his father and on back through generations, and see his father’s devaluation of his son was about his father’s wounding, not Stefan, and then most important to stop that abusive behavior, towards himself, his own son, and others.
It was surprisingly affective in such a shot video.the illustration of an angry dog with a trapped leg is a powerful indeed!
I’ve learn something and will be applying it in order to learn companion towards the one person who hurt me very badly its a positive and practical way for me to let the resentment go and feel my heart with compassion and peace
Thk you
I recognized that dominating and judging father and it’s sad to see how that has characterized much of my life. I have often blamed myself for things that happen and I can judge both myself and people around me. The last three years I have been struggling with this, in therapy and meditations. This will be a struggle for the rest of my life but it’s worth it every single day. Although it brings me through both ups and downs.
Like the ocean and the waves…going against it can create a sensational feel and fear. I have found the teaching and videos very appropriate and love all about it. Would like to see m ore series on the topic
I feel compassion not just for myself but for others and realize where their foot is caught ..I feel freedom from the blaming behaviour and know how just
like the waves in the ocean is like the thoughts that I have everyday . This makes it easier to let go and feel free from the pain of the hurt .
Thank you so much for this and all your teachings. I gave found the u turn to be a tremendous tool for growth for myself and for my clients. I am looking forward to reading your new book on Radical Compassion
I have blamed myself for my eating disorder issue and candidly I have found that shaming and blaming only makes it worse and gaining in more pounds with health problems that leads to more . Being conditioned to fulfill my emptiness in life, I have consumed a huge amount of alcohol in abusively. How can I not blame myself
I loved these new teachings by Tara… so important to remember that “the dog” that showed his teeth might have his leg in a trap, so too the person that hurt us.
Thank you Tara and Ruth!
I would be accepting myself totally. It’s something I have been working on. I am learning to love myself fully without judgement. Thank you.
I suffer from anxiety and all my life have believed that “I’m not good enough”, “there’s something wrong with me”, I’m undeserving of goodness”.
The practice of accepting myself and theses feelings and bringing love and kindness to myself and feeling it in my body, is very helpful.
Thank you!
I ;ve felt in tears and gave myself the permission to feel it. I have a wonderful therapist who easily makes me understand that “it shall also pass”. I have seen her for a decade. It works for me
I will be more at peace, loving truly myself and not seeking the ideal of me.
Being able to make this shift in perception makes such a change!
Thank you.
I commit to practicing these steps
I understand how self compassion can give your heart space but I am yet to experience the benefits through longer practice.
Yes self shame, blame and judgement are the obstacles.
I would be the loving, kind and compassionate being that I am, all the time and would not close myself to feelings and loving instincts that I do when I am caught in self-, or other judgment.
Thank you
It’s challenging to use self compassion on myself in one particular situation. But in other situations it’s much easier. I encourage my clients to be self compassionate. I’ll be using the dog in the wood analogy. Thank you ??
The image of the trapped dog is a very powerful metaphor. While easier said than done, I continue to work with myself and others to maintain an attitude of curiosity rather than to assume that initial assumptions are correct.
I would be able to connect with the other whom I’d previously blamed, because I would be fully in connection with my true compassionate self – when we are connected inside, love flows naturally through us and from us.
In the situation I thought of I had actually invested compassion in the person who had hurt me I did that first and was so busy identifying with their state of mind that I didn’t give myself permission to identify with my own.
I would be a person with the faith that only benefit to both the other person and myself would result from making the U-turn of letting go of blame.
I try hard not to blame others. I look at what I’ve done ~ if anything.
easing and happier – thank you:)
They belong, deep teaching, Gracias ??
Hi Tara, I’ve been using some of these practices for a while now, and have really found them to shift my inner dialogue towards more self-compassion. My question though, how does one practically help those who have been systemically oppressed? In working with the LGBTQ population, I see how much of my clients’ anger and fears are valid.
I thought of my ongoing battle with my teenage daughter and realised that I’m just so scared of having been a terrible mother that I forgot to think what she is going through .
I would live my life much more happy, with more power and contact would be filled with humor and lightness.
I would be the vibrant,healthy,compassionate being I always wanted to be.
A person who deeply loved herself.♡
I would allow myself to be with members of my family without the negative incurrent that is often there for me. I would allow them to just be themselves and not worry about the past but enjoy the present.
THank you
Therapy benefits
I would be happier with myself and with others. I would also be more successful and at peace with my accomplishments.
I guess Iwould be more vulnerable, softer, more forgiving towards others and towards myself.
Thank you, love this
It was important for me to remember that the waves are part of the ocean. They belong
Beautiful <3
I found this very helpful in dealing with some hurt in my own past. You had mentioned, Tara, this might not be appropriate for some who have been extremely traumatized, e.g., sexual, physical abuse or neglect as a child. It may be impossible for them to do the deep work involved in shifting from judgement and blame to compassion. What do you do then?
Thank you, Tara and Ruth
I would be more peaceful and free.
Whoa, this really showed me where I was blaming myself, AND THEN to how it felt to be blamed so resolutely (shocked, unsupported, frozen, stuck, completely without compassion or benefit of the doubt, horrible). Oh man, that is a dark place. Thank you, I had no idea. Letting love and awareness heal now that I have registered this.
I would be allowing God’s love and creative power to flow through me which is always meant for the good. This is true freedom to be who I was created to be my true Self.
I would be so much more free and able to feel more joy if my own judgement and self blame / harsh critic – was gone and it’s something I want to achieve soonest
This particular video and story of Stefan really helped me look at my relationship with my mother and see the trap her leg is in. thanks!
The image of the dog whose leg is in a trap is for me, a powerful metaphor. Once I can visualise this, it is so much easier to move to a more compassionate place of forgiveness for myself and for those that have hurt me.
Thank you.
I often face experiences and then let go with compassion and an understanding of others vulnerability only to find that I have set myself up for another undesirable event. I feel manipulated and taken for granted, walked all over like a doormat. When is it time to walk away and not feel obligated to “make nice”?
JT,I agree that boundaries need to be made and maintained and that forgiveness does not mean giving permission to continue devaluing or humiliating or hurting you. I think forgiveness is about having compassion for those who hurt us, understanding their wounds that drive their behavior, which may or may NOT mean re-establishing communication and contact. I think in Stefan’s case it’s just as likely reaching out to his father would not have resulted in any love or caring towards Stefan, sometimes people change and sometimes they don’t. I think far more important than Stefan connecting with his father is Stefan’s ability to understand and “get” his father’s emotional pain, which was handed down to him by his father and on back through generations, and see his father’s devaluation of his son was about his father’s wounding, not Stefan, and then most important to stop that abusive behavior, towards himself, his own son, and others.
This comment is in relation to JT’s comment. I agree that boundaries need to be made and maintained and that forgiveness does not mean giving permission to continue devaluing or humiliating or hurting you. I think forgiveness is about having compassion for those who hurt us, understanding their wounds that drive their behavior, which may or may NOT mean re-establishing communication and contact. I think in Stefan’s case it’s just as likely reaching out to his father would not have resulted in any love or caring towards Stefan, sometimes people change and sometimes they don’t. I think far more important than Stefan connecting with his father is Stefan’s ability to understand and “get” his father’s emotional pain, which was handed down to him by his father and on back through generations, and see his father’s devaluation of his son was about his father’s wounding, not Stefan, and then most important to stop that abusive behavior, towards himself, his own son, and others.
It was surprisingly affective in such a shot video.the illustration of an angry dog with a trapped leg is a powerful indeed!
I’ve learn something and will be applying it in order to learn companion towards the one person who hurt me very badly its a positive and practical way for me to let the resentment go and feel my heart with compassion and peace
Thk you
I recognized that dominating and judging father and it’s sad to see how that has characterized much of my life. I have often blamed myself for things that happen and I can judge both myself and people around me. The last three years I have been struggling with this, in therapy and meditations. This will be a struggle for the rest of my life but it’s worth it every single day. Although it brings me through both ups and downs.
This should be taught in elementary schools. Thank you for sharing!
I would be lighter and free.
I immediately felt a wave of sadness. I told myself that it is okay to feel sad, to hold it with acceptance and kindness.
This is very deep internal work which takes courage and authentic introspection
I would be a kind and supportive person who had genuine compassion.
Like the ocean and the waves…going against it can create a sensational feel and fear. I have found the teaching and videos very appropriate and love all about it. Would like to see m ore series on the topic
I think I’d feel free to show who I really am. I might be able to let go of some of the hurt, bitterness, and feelings of being unimportant to others.
I would be free to truly be me if I let go of self judgment and blame
I feel compassion not just for myself but for others and realize where their foot is caught ..I feel freedom from the blaming behaviour and know how just
like the waves in the ocean is like the thoughts that I have everyday . This makes it easier to let go and feel free from the pain of the hurt .
Thank you so much for this and all your teachings. I gave found the u turn to be a tremendous tool for growth for myself and for my clients. I am looking forward to reading your new book on Radical Compassion
I have blamed myself for my eating disorder issue and candidly I have found that shaming and blaming only makes it worse and gaining in more pounds with health problems that leads to more . Being conditioned to fulfill my emptiness in life, I have consumed a huge amount of alcohol in abusively. How can I not blame myself