I don’t know. Have just lost my husband and nothing seems worthwhile. Trying to be positive , one day I am full of the joys of spring, next day in bits.
Thank you. Caught in a difficult work situation where I have been treated unjustly, I have found a calmer and less judgemental place towards those who have made excessive demands of me for my return this week.
Thank you for sharing a concrete and useful way of understanding and being able to explain such complex concepts. This is very useful in terms of assisting patients in understanding the process in a relatively uncomplicated and less threatening way.
I struggle with the effects of early child sexual abuse so the healing process is very complex and challenging. It was best just to see your smile, Tara!
Thank you so much Tara,
Being caught up in a painful personal situation had caused me to forget the power of being compassionate towards myself – this short video has had a profound effect.
Challenging and very helpful. Interesting in the exercise today to notice how anger turns quite quickly into grief once one does the Uturn…the need to mourn what “wasn’t” available…rather than being angry towards what was!
Very skillful exercises.
Thank you.
MR
I did experience some compassion for myself during the exercise, but I jolted out of this and felt pain when I tried to extend compassion to the other person. This is because I truly think I am burnt out. Compassion fatigued. So many people have taken so much from me over the years and I feel like I’ve got nothing left to give that won’t cause me pain in it’s giving. And yet still I must try to find more… but I struggle. Feeling a little hopeless here right now.
I think turning the mind and emotions back onto ourself through self compassion helps us re-connect to our humanity helping to soften our rigid stance toward self and others.
Helping people heal : As for my own healing
a new understanding of what self compassion can look and feel
like is a wonderful gift.
I have begun to understand the vitality which comes from this practice.
I would be with peace. The dark smokey part in my heart where I hold the hurt from being judged and criticised, will disperse, leaving space in its place. This space feels nurtured and gentle, strong yet vulnerable, authentic. Namaste
I try not to be hard on myself for not achieving things theoretically within my reach, or sometimes just getting things done. Being angry, regretful or upset about it doesn’t improve the situation.
Thank you !
Your suggestions are very powerful and will take some time and practice.
Your voice and gestures itself conveys so much compassion which is so very therapeutic, this if we can incorporate in our therapeutic practice, would be very productive and meaningful
Yuliya Barbasheva, Another Field, Huntington Beach , CA, USAsays
This is exactly where I am at right now. Two weeks ago I understood that the I was shooting the second arrow, and that I was the one adopting the believes and standards of others and judging myself for not being what others expected of me pretty much most of my life. I made up stories about what it meant that I had an alcoholic father or mentally abusive and mostly absent mother. I felt unloved, unlovable and unworthy for so long it became an automatic story that replay on repeat any time relationship would not work out or I make a mistake at work. I often found a proof and a reason to judge myself. I realized two weeks ago that it was me, my mind that was doing it and that it’s up to me to release the cage I have been keeping myself in. This is exactly where I get to go next… practices of noticing, and being kind and cultivating compassion for self so that I can show up softer with others. Thank you! Where do I sign up?
Thank you! It’s wonderful to know that there are practical steps to learn to free myself from the loop of negative feelings and thoughts and replace them with a feeling of warmth, care and compassion. My first efforts are very promising. These steps are a tool to learn new habits and to deal with new negative life events compassionately.
Thank you for teaching me that I am allowed to have feelings such as anger, shame and anxiety. I will use your quote of these waves are part of the ocean to offer myself kindness when I am feeling difficult emotions.
I have just watched the three videos. Video 3 really took me to where I should be. Thank you so much for your teaching and they all make sense. I really appreciate your compassion and dedication which always shrine through your sessions.
I’ll be free to live my life happy.
I liked the videos. I have a lot of work to do, but steps shown there seem so simple.
Just need to use some time to work on them.
Thanks for your videos, and I’ll apreciate any information or videos about this.
If you have something in Spanish, will be great. Otherwise, English is OK.
Thanks, thanks, thanks.
I felt emotional, but sad, mostly- like if I let go and didn’t judge and blame myself, then I wouldn’t get better, and the reason for that was rooted in fear – of being found unworthy and left alone. Then I started thinking that I wasn’t really alone, that I had myself….which is the one person I will always have, so I might as well be kinder and more accepting of myself. Once I did that, I kind of looked at others as being responsible for themselves, and that I wasn’t responsible for them….if they couldn’t/can’t accept me, and leave me, then so be it – I will be okay.
Susan Gorman, Exercise Physiology, Washington, IL, USAsays
Tara, thank you so much for this segment. I actually felt compassion for myself and for the person who had hurt me. “Hurt people hurt people,” one of our AL-Anon sayings. I have made a u-turn in a situation that has gone on for the past eight long years. Until I admitted to myself that I had been treated unfairly, I could not finish the process of forgiveness and compassion for the person whom I trusted who had hurt me so deeply I thought I would never recover. I have moved ahead with healing this situation by using many of my tools over the past eight years – 24/7 prayers for this person and the hurt, reaching out to her over and over again with acts of forgiveness and love which were not accepted. I felt better in “taking the high road with this person who had helped me to grow in so many ways. “Love conquers all.” – Virgil.
I was able to tell myself I had a right to feel the way I did, that it was ok to feel hurt, insignificant and not respected. Then I was able to look at how the other person is trapped by behaviour they have learned to use to try and soothe themselves. I was able to see how lonely they really were.
Lisa Fields, Another Field, Silver City, NM, USAsays
Dr Barch, your use of story and images, along with your thoughtful words made this very powerful. I practice EFT Tapping, and meditations that accompany it, and I think your approach will integrate with my current practices as I continue to work through the layers and open to changing patterns. Thank you!
In letting go of judgment and blame I would be deeply loving and accepting of myself and others. I’d be at peace.
Thanks Tara
I would be love.
I don’t know. Have just lost my husband and nothing seems worthwhile. Trying to be positive , one day I am full of the joys of spring, next day in bits.
Great info
This again is very helpful. It’s going to need some practice though.
A much happier person
Thank you. Caught in a difficult work situation where I have been treated unjustly, I have found a calmer and less judgemental place towards those who have made excessive demands of me for my return this week.
Thank you for sharing a concrete and useful way of understanding and being able to explain such complex concepts. This is very useful in terms of assisting patients in understanding the process in a relatively uncomplicated and less threatening way.
Thank you Tara for the U-turn, self care which allows space to soften having compassion to self and the wider community. Blessing?
This was helpful. I felt release of some anger and resentment.
Thank You for all you do Tara
I struggle with the effects of early child sexual abuse so the healing process is very complex and challenging. It was best just to see your smile, Tara!
I would be more free and open as a person, more accepting of others, which would enable me to make deeper connections.
Thank you so much Tara,
Being caught up in a painful personal situation had caused me to forget the power of being compassionate towards myself – this short video has had a profound effect.
Thank you?
This can make it possible to live really free.
Challenging and very helpful. Interesting in the exercise today to notice how anger turns quite quickly into grief once one does the Uturn…the need to mourn what “wasn’t” available…rather than being angry towards what was!
Very skillful exercises.
Thank you.
MR
I did experience some compassion for myself during the exercise, but I jolted out of this and felt pain when I tried to extend compassion to the other person. This is because I truly think I am burnt out. Compassion fatigued. So many people have taken so much from me over the years and I feel like I’ve got nothing left to give that won’t cause me pain in it’s giving. And yet still I must try to find more… but I struggle. Feeling a little hopeless here right now.
I am so pleased to have access to this process which helps me to be a better human being and more self-compassionate…Thank you so much!
I am so grateful for these teachings. Thank you.
Linda
Thank you Tara for your teachings.
Thank you, this opens up the way to self acceptance and compassion for ourselves and others
I think turning the mind and emotions back onto ourself through self compassion helps us re-connect to our humanity helping to soften our rigid stance toward self and others.
Thank you for your compassion Tara,
Helping people heal : As for my own healing
a new understanding of what self compassion can look and feel
like is a wonderful gift.
I have begun to understand the vitality which comes from this practice.
So glad to be on earth here and now.
I would be with peace. The dark smokey part in my heart where I hold the hurt from being judged and criticised, will disperse, leaving space in its place. This space feels nurtured and gentle, strong yet vulnerable, authentic. Namaste
I could be free to forgive myself and other, to move on and not be someone tethered to others’ choices and behaviors.
Thank you!!
Very powerful practice! I feel lighter! ??
Thank you for your compassion.
Though is needs remembering and practice it is deeply helpfull.
I try not to be hard on myself for not achieving things theoretically within my reach, or sometimes just getting things done. Being angry, regretful or upset about it doesn’t improve the situation.
Thank you !
Your suggestions are very powerful and will take some time and practice.
Your voice and gestures itself conveys so much compassion which is so very therapeutic, this if we can incorporate in our therapeutic practice, would be very productive and meaningful
Thank you for the enlightenment on judgment and chronic blame.
When I have practiced this, I became pleasant. Thank you very much 🙂
This is exactly where I am at right now. Two weeks ago I understood that the I was shooting the second arrow, and that I was the one adopting the believes and standards of others and judging myself for not being what others expected of me pretty much most of my life. I made up stories about what it meant that I had an alcoholic father or mentally abusive and mostly absent mother. I felt unloved, unlovable and unworthy for so long it became an automatic story that replay on repeat any time relationship would not work out or I make a mistake at work. I often found a proof and a reason to judge myself. I realized two weeks ago that it was me, my mind that was doing it and that it’s up to me to release the cage I have been keeping myself in. This is exactly where I get to go next… practices of noticing, and being kind and cultivating compassion for self so that I can show up softer with others. Thank you! Where do I sign up?
Thank for the 2 approaches to move out of blame & shame and the beautiful photography.
Thank you! It’s wonderful to know that there are practical steps to learn to free myself from the loop of negative feelings and thoughts and replace them with a feeling of warmth, care and compassion. My first efforts are very promising. These steps are a tool to learn new habits and to deal with new negative life events compassionately.
In delving into and softening the feelings of hurt and shame within me,I was further able to see how my partner is and was hurting.
Thank you ?
Thank you for teaching me that I am allowed to have feelings such as anger, shame and anxiety. I will use your quote of these waves are part of the ocean to offer myself kindness when I am feeling difficult emotions.
Wonderful, solid, helpful practices. Thank you
I have just watched the three videos. Video 3 really took me to where I should be. Thank you so much for your teaching and they all make sense. I really appreciate your compassion and dedication which always shrine through your sessions.
Thanks for this. I really appreciate the part about relationships.
I’ll be free to live my life happy.
I liked the videos. I have a lot of work to do, but steps shown there seem so simple.
Just need to use some time to work on them.
Thanks for your videos, and I’ll apreciate any information or videos about this.
If you have something in Spanish, will be great. Otherwise, English is OK.
Thanks, thanks, thanks.
Thank you for these lessons—so powerful!
This is a really helpful strategy to looking deeper into my unworthiness and blame which I tend to ignore. Thank you.
Thank you so much. This sounds wonderful and I have already been practicing this with someone who hurt me deeply. It works!
I felt emotional, but sad, mostly- like if I let go and didn’t judge and blame myself, then I wouldn’t get better, and the reason for that was rooted in fear – of being found unworthy and left alone. Then I started thinking that I wasn’t really alone, that I had myself….which is the one person I will always have, so I might as well be kinder and more accepting of myself. Once I did that, I kind of looked at others as being responsible for themselves, and that I wasn’t responsible for them….if they couldn’t/can’t accept me, and leave me, then so be it – I will be okay.
I will continue to work on this. Not an easy pattern to change. Sometimes it’s hard to know when to change
For fear of being continuously hurt again…
Tara, thank you so much for this segment. I actually felt compassion for myself and for the person who had hurt me. “Hurt people hurt people,” one of our AL-Anon sayings. I have made a u-turn in a situation that has gone on for the past eight long years. Until I admitted to myself that I had been treated unfairly, I could not finish the process of forgiveness and compassion for the person whom I trusted who had hurt me so deeply I thought I would never recover. I have moved ahead with healing this situation by using many of my tools over the past eight years – 24/7 prayers for this person and the hurt, reaching out to her over and over again with acts of forgiveness and love which were not accepted. I felt better in “taking the high road with this person who had helped me to grow in so many ways. “Love conquers all.” – Virgil.
I was able to tell myself I had a right to feel the way I did, that it was ok to feel hurt, insignificant and not respected. Then I was able to look at how the other person is trapped by behaviour they have learned to use to try and soothe themselves. I was able to see how lonely they really were.
Dr Barch, your use of story and images, along with your thoughtful words made this very powerful. I practice EFT Tapping, and meditations that accompany it, and I think your approach will integrate with my current practices as I continue to work through the layers and open to changing patterns. Thank you!