When I first tried to give myself kindness and compassion, I cringed and thought “get away from me”, I rejected the thought. I realize that I have a deep seeded belief of unworthiness and rejection.
I felt recognition of myself in this video. I experience so much doubt, anxiety and self-judgement with every decision I try to make, small or large, that I feel paralyzed and unable to act with the spontaneity I would like to experience. It’s been a crippling condition throughout my life that I struggle to overcome.
Your videos are very helpful in reexamining, reevaluating and reframing the perceptions that block my ability to live a full and fulfilling life.
My mind instantly rejected it as just another new age thing…skepticism
reigns.
But on another level some part of me is listening, or wanting to be able to do this.
I woke up this morning criticizing myself for a casual conversation I had in the breakroom with a supervisor at work yesterday. “I shouldn’t have said anything, I talked too loud, I acted like an idiot….” I felt terrible. Then I watched this video and It brought me out of my vicious mental loop. I have found that reading and watching videos about love and kindness every morning save me. Thank you, Tara.
My mind immediately switched off from the question “Can I be kind?” and went to the monkey mind of what felt like completely unrelated subjects. It was difficult to switch back into contemplating this question for myself…what I think of in considering being kind to myself is to imagine holding myself with the same light of compassion with which I hold my young adult daughter who is deep in this struggle. I can do this.
Thank you for this workshop..I’m struggling with inner scare and fear at the moment of something I think I’ve done wrong within my practice which may lead to consequences….the anxiety is very present as I wait to hear …
The two questions helped me to stay with my struggle even more than I have been already trying and I noticed that the offer of self compassion for the struggle helped to soften calm and soothe the anxious experience.
I will keep going with these strategies ..thank you and look forward to the next Worksop x
It is interesting to me, that when I asked myself what was happening in the moment, the answer was (and probably not in so many words), a feeling of contentment, calm, pleasedness (yes, I know – not a word) with what I was doing in the moment – taking care of myself, doing what I enjoy doing, learning and growth, being with a trusted teacher. And so self compassion was easy. Easy to accept these positive feelings with warmth and kindness. The challenge will be to accept the not so pleasant feelings with warmth and kindness and acceptance when they arise. I look forward to the next video.
I gave myself permission to say out loud that I’m going back to myself, and I’m on my way to retaking the reigns of my life. Thank you, Tara, for all your teachings!
I felt myself relax and there was a sense of space and distance between my feelings and me. This softened the emotional charge and allowed me to breathe.
I noticed that when I contacted the part of me that is suffering, that is in the unworthiness mind loop with kindness instead of aversion, I instantly felt lighter. I am understanding that that part of me is there and deserves love and when there is love, the unworthiness aspect shifts into a positive vibe.
I just said to myself ‘it’s ok’.
I have often done the RAIN meditation to the point where holding difficult feelings in compassion has become familiar.
I felt a warmth and softness inside, encouragement to continue to pay attention to being myself, and to feel that this is “enough” instead of anxiously trying to do more or differently.
Carol Schneider, Teacher, South Pasadena , CA, USAsays
I put my hands over my heart and told myself that I can be with my hurt and feelings of inadequacy—that I am worthy and deserving of care and kindness. I felt a sense of calm and peace.
It made me cry , I felt the huge rock. I carry around on my shoulders , and I felt a huge desire to accept and want to make peace with the disappointments that I carry , that’s what keeps me stuck !
Tara, your message is wonderful!! …A very power-packed 12 minutes (the short video length I’m most apt to enter into). Thank you for your vulnerability – I so identified with your story…pretty much ALL of it. What happened for me when asking ‘what’s happening?’ was an awareness of apprehension and drive. Apprehension — about the appointment I have this afternoon and also about my first cataract surgery tomorrow. The recognition of ‘drive’ isn’t new…it seems to be my daily mode and expectation of myself for being ‘productive’ to prove I have worthiness. I identified my drive to get things done was more to escape the uncomfortable feelings. When I asked if I could “be with these feelings”, I got a familiar and immediate ‘yes’. I have learned that going headlong into feelings is the only way to heal and move on…whether or not I can always do it. But more importantly, I realized that committing to compassion and kindness toward myself as I journey these upcoming days, opened a strong sense of the spiritual throng of helpers…always around me waiting for my welcome to come in and help. I got a glimpse of the happy outcome of improved eyesight following two surgeries and how auspicious it turned out to be that I have a craniosacral appointment the day before. What a wonderful feeling of relief to be reminded that I’m not alone in this school of life…that no matter what opportunities to heal present, I’m embraced by loving unseen guidance. Thank you, Tara! I can tell you’ve got it down! I’ve learned it’s so very critical to have tools at-the-ready, such as you gave us today…to help us repackage the pain into blessings. Layer by layer we are freed. Thank you, thousands of thank yous!!
When I tried to hold my feeling of unworthiness with kindness, I melted, became soft toward myself, wanted to treat someone else I have such trouble accepting with the same softness.
I have been reading and listening to you for many years dear Tara, this short video is so helpful to bring awareness to the practice of sitting with our feelings.
With gratitude and love,
Mary Grace Almleaf
At first when I tried to bring kindness to a place of suffering, I became blocked, as if I was saying “I don’t want to be told what to do.” Then I tried again and was able to bring kindness to myself, which felt comforting and warm.
I wish that I could feel and enlarge the space between my instinctive reaction and my deep willingness for connection in order to have the time to be closer to my true self.
Barbara Monett, Psychotherapy, Scotts Valley, CA, USAsays
The thought that comes up for me is that “I don’t have the willingness to “push through” or that “my need for comfort is stronger than what’s necessary to grow to new levels”.
I felt frustrated because I didn’t have that experience at 18 and now I am 58 and still feel worthless and in spite of years of trying to heal nothing has touched that core belief of self loathing.
I asked myself those two questions Tara suggested and didn’t get any answers
I felt the sadness too. Of grief from years of self hatred, blaming myself when things go awry between friends or other relationships. I’m feeling a softening around decades of self recrimination now as well. Thank you for these videos. So needed at this time. If there is no peace within, how can we experience it in the world?
Cesar Bayona, Another Field, Harrison, NJ, USAsays
Thank you for this talk and sharing. It is very helpful to put internal emotions in perspective.
Whenever I try to bring kindness to a strong mood that I am going through I feel so much conflict that it seems like I can never ever get to calm myself. Even when I stop what I am doing to take deep breaths or go out for a walk around the block, I find it difficult to let go of the thoughts about the thing that triggered me.
I returned to finish my practicum portion of schooling after recovering from covid recently
The students had formed quite a clique, barely looked at me not one asked me how I was doing or feeling and excluded me from the flowers & signing the card for our instructor … I was welcomed with hatred as opposed to compassion at first I tried to figure out what I did to cause this reaction to me, then I was angry and sad that future health care workers would treat their peer with horrible behaviour and felt sorry for them, how can they sleep at night … I am looking forward to the next videos as I continue to work through this experience as a learning experience and growth for my self … feeling a little stuck wiyh moving through this situation ….
Wonderful talk, thank you for reminding me that when I use self compassion I can accept who I am more fully and that I need this reminder to use more self compassion.
Tara, thank you for this self- affirming video. I often either avoid or forget to feel my sad or anxious feelings, to acknowledge their presence and feel gratitude for what they are teaching me. Being kind and accepting of myself feels good. Peaceful and forgiving. Just my thoughts and feelings. Both can and will change.
I appreciate your gifts in this video.
Lindsay A., Another Field, Saranac Lake, NY, USAsays
“Can I be with this with kindness?” a very powerful question. I can see how it could also apply to outside forces of trauma. I think of difficult family relationships, ones in which are unhealthy and unbalanced. Asking this question grants oneself permission to not engage with those who are hurtful and to not feel obligated to accept mistreatment and abuse, as these are often roots of poor self perception and hyper-critical behavior of oneself, believing the lies of others.
The deep breathes and realizing the crippling thoughts have. The blocks. I thought of all the times I would hear a voice suggesting to act on the things I wanted to do and the feeling of accomplishment and happiness of creating. Then I realized my thoughts created doubts and confusion. A pattern! Behind these thoughts was the was a light bulb that I could do the things I want to do. The voice brought a release and hope. Just listen to this voice.
When I first tried to give myself kindness and compassion, I cringed and thought “get away from me”, I rejected the thought. I realize that I have a deep seeded belief of unworthiness and rejection.
I will keep trying.
I felt recognition of myself in this video. I experience so much doubt, anxiety and self-judgement with every decision I try to make, small or large, that I feel paralyzed and unable to act with the spontaneity I would like to experience. It’s been a crippling condition throughout my life that I struggle to overcome.
Your videos are very helpful in reexamining, reevaluating and reframing the perceptions that block my ability to live a full and fulfilling life.
My mind instantly rejected it as just another new age thing…skepticism
reigns.
But on another level some part of me is listening, or wanting to be able to do this.
I felt resistance
I woke up this morning criticizing myself for a casual conversation I had in the breakroom with a supervisor at work yesterday. “I shouldn’t have said anything, I talked too loud, I acted like an idiot….” I felt terrible. Then I watched this video and It brought me out of my vicious mental loop. I have found that reading and watching videos about love and kindness every morning save me. Thank you, Tara.
My mind immediately switched off from the question “Can I be kind?” and went to the monkey mind of what felt like completely unrelated subjects. It was difficult to switch back into contemplating this question for myself…what I think of in considering being kind to myself is to imagine holding myself with the same light of compassion with which I hold my young adult daughter who is deep in this struggle. I can do this.
Softening, expanding… The tears came too.
Thank you for this workshop..I’m struggling with inner scare and fear at the moment of something I think I’ve done wrong within my practice which may lead to consequences….the anxiety is very present as I wait to hear …
The two questions helped me to stay with my struggle even more than I have been already trying and I noticed that the offer of self compassion for the struggle helped to soften calm and soothe the anxious experience.
I will keep going with these strategies ..thank you and look forward to the next Worksop x
It is interesting to me, that when I asked myself what was happening in the moment, the answer was (and probably not in so many words), a feeling of contentment, calm, pleasedness (yes, I know – not a word) with what I was doing in the moment – taking care of myself, doing what I enjoy doing, learning and growth, being with a trusted teacher. And so self compassion was easy. Easy to accept these positive feelings with warmth and kindness. The challenge will be to accept the not so pleasant feelings with warmth and kindness and acceptance when they arise. I look forward to the next video.
There still is resistance when I try to be kind to myself. As if there is a persistent voice that whispers: you don’t deserve it.
I gave myself permission to say out loud that I’m going back to myself, and I’m on my way to retaking the reigns of my life. Thank you, Tara, for all your teachings!
I felt myself relax and there was a sense of space and distance between my feelings and me. This softened the emotional charge and allowed me to breathe.
I noticed that when I contacted the part of me that is suffering, that is in the unworthiness mind loop with kindness instead of aversion, I instantly felt lighter. I am understanding that that part of me is there and deserves love and when there is love, the unworthiness aspect shifts into a positive vibe.
I just said to myself ‘it’s ok’.
I have often done the RAIN meditation to the point where holding difficult feelings in compassion has become familiar.
relaxation
I was able to feel into my pain and cry without judging where or why I felt that way…
I felt a warmth and softness inside, encouragement to continue to pay attention to being myself, and to feel that this is “enough” instead of anxiously trying to do more or differently.
I noticed my anxiety softening. The tight hold was relaxed.
I felt more relaxed a little sad
I put my hands over my heart and told myself that I can be with my hurt and feelings of inadequacy—that I am worthy and deserving of care and kindness. I felt a sense of calm and peace.
It made me cry , I felt the huge rock. I carry around on my shoulders , and I felt a huge desire to accept and want to make peace with the disappointments that I carry , that’s what keeps me stuck !
Kindness brings more space to let down guards and see beyond the layers of protection. Only I am responsible for my light to be seen 🙂
Tara, your message is wonderful!! …A very power-packed 12 minutes (the short video length I’m most apt to enter into). Thank you for your vulnerability – I so identified with your story…pretty much ALL of it. What happened for me when asking ‘what’s happening?’ was an awareness of apprehension and drive. Apprehension — about the appointment I have this afternoon and also about my first cataract surgery tomorrow. The recognition of ‘drive’ isn’t new…it seems to be my daily mode and expectation of myself for being ‘productive’ to prove I have worthiness. I identified my drive to get things done was more to escape the uncomfortable feelings. When I asked if I could “be with these feelings”, I got a familiar and immediate ‘yes’. I have learned that going headlong into feelings is the only way to heal and move on…whether or not I can always do it. But more importantly, I realized that committing to compassion and kindness toward myself as I journey these upcoming days, opened a strong sense of the spiritual throng of helpers…always around me waiting for my welcome to come in and help. I got a glimpse of the happy outcome of improved eyesight following two surgeries and how auspicious it turned out to be that I have a craniosacral appointment the day before. What a wonderful feeling of relief to be reminded that I’m not alone in this school of life…that no matter what opportunities to heal present, I’m embraced by loving unseen guidance. Thank you, Tara! I can tell you’ve got it down! I’ve learned it’s so very critical to have tools at-the-ready, such as you gave us today…to help us repackage the pain into blessings. Layer by layer we are freed. Thank you, thousands of thank yous!!
Everything softened. I almost believed I could ‘do it’, be compassionate with myself. Looking forward to the next video.
My skepticism was louder than my ability to be kind. My compassion for myself is low.
When I tried to hold my feeling of unworthiness with kindness, I melted, became soft toward myself, wanted to treat someone else I have such trouble accepting with the same softness.
It was a beautiful place of peace and quiet
Filled with self love and humility
I have been reading and listening to you for many years dear Tara, this short video is so helpful to bring awareness to the practice of sitting with our feelings.
With gratitude and love,
Mary Grace Almleaf
A sense that I belong and all is well 🙂
At first when I tried to bring kindness to a place of suffering, I became blocked, as if I was saying “I don’t want to be told what to do.” Then I tried again and was able to bring kindness to myself, which felt comforting and warm.
I wish that I could feel and enlarge the space between my instinctive reaction and my deep willingness for connection in order to have the time to be closer to my true self.
The body smiled and I felt peace
I saw an over burdened lonely child who was rejected by her mother and who’s father was ill.. who could not figure out why no one loved her.
The thought that comes up for me is that “I don’t have the willingness to “push through” or that “my need for comfort is stronger than what’s necessary to grow to new levels”.
I realize that my feelings of unworthiness aren’t mine.
I took on my mothers strong personal emotions.
I felt frustrated because I didn’t have that experience at 18 and now I am 58 and still feel worthless and in spite of years of trying to heal nothing has touched that core belief of self loathing.
I asked myself those two questions Tara suggested and didn’t get any answers
I felt the sadness too. Of grief from years of self hatred, blaming myself when things go awry between friends or other relationships. I’m feeling a softening around decades of self recrimination now as well. Thank you for these videos. So needed at this time. If there is no peace within, how can we experience it in the world?
Thank you for this talk and sharing. It is very helpful to put internal emotions in perspective.
Whenever I try to bring kindness to a strong mood that I am going through I feel so much conflict that it seems like I can never ever get to calm myself. Even when I stop what I am doing to take deep breaths or go out for a walk around the block, I find it difficult to let go of the thoughts about the thing that triggered me.
I returned to finish my practicum portion of schooling after recovering from covid recently
The students had formed quite a clique, barely looked at me not one asked me how I was doing or feeling and excluded me from the flowers & signing the card for our instructor … I was welcomed with hatred as opposed to compassion at first I tried to figure out what I did to cause this reaction to me, then I was angry and sad that future health care workers would treat their peer with horrible behaviour and felt sorry for them, how can they sleep at night … I am looking forward to the next videos as I continue to work through this experience as a learning experience and growth for my self … feeling a little stuck wiyh moving through this situation ….
I felt a softening of the rigidity and weight of a feeling of being out of control.
Moment of acceptance. It will be okay.
A lighter mood … permission to move forward on a writing project.
Wonderful talk, thank you for reminding me that when I use self compassion I can accept who I am more fully and that I need this reminder to use more self compassion.
I experienced a momentary ease and sense of spaciousness.
Feels like I tapped into a river – sparkling, flowing, life-sustaining. Thank you!
Tara, thank you for this self- affirming video. I often either avoid or forget to feel my sad or anxious feelings, to acknowledge their presence and feel gratitude for what they are teaching me. Being kind and accepting of myself feels good. Peaceful and forgiving. Just my thoughts and feelings. Both can and will change.
I appreciate your gifts in this video.
Much, much softer heart towards myself.
“Can I be with this with kindness?” a very powerful question. I can see how it could also apply to outside forces of trauma. I think of difficult family relationships, ones in which are unhealthy and unbalanced. Asking this question grants oneself permission to not engage with those who are hurtful and to not feel obligated to accept mistreatment and abuse, as these are often roots of poor self perception and hyper-critical behavior of oneself, believing the lies of others.
I started to feel warmer and more relaxed, letting go of compulsions and self judgement
The deep breathes and realizing the crippling thoughts have. The blocks. I thought of all the times I would hear a voice suggesting to act on the things I wanted to do and the feeling of accomplishment and happiness of creating. Then I realized my thoughts created doubts and confusion. A pattern! Behind these thoughts was the was a light bulb that I could do the things I want to do. The voice brought a release and hope. Just listen to this voice.