I realize that I haven’t been my own best friend. I recognize the second arrow when I feel mad at myself for things I did today that were not as kind or good for me as they could be. I say it’s ok sweetheart, we can try again tomorrow.
I am feeling an insurmountable personal loss, grief, total aloneness, being disconnected and so sad for the state of our world. I’m older and just lost my “life partner” a year before the pandemic and then my home. No family, no support beyond a handful of good friends. Everyone who loved me has died and I have been the one to care for two of them in my home until their passing over the past 15 years. My mother and life partner and many fur children and I mourn and grieve and try so hard to practice but I mostly cry when I listen to your “talks” and I love your stories of humanity. In a way you have helped me stay alive. Namaste
i felt blocked, sad & lonely on the inside. . . flat affect on the outside. I live alone since my divorce (10+ years ago). Grateful for the company of a sweet canine companion.
I am amazed of all of us feeling this self sabotage, but the shame get’s smaller as I read all of you’s. I feel real and OK. Thank you Tara and all of you’s out there.
I was experiencing a guardedness and protective aloofness. When I tried to bring kindness to that experience, it felt like the protective part relaxed the smallest amount–like her shoulders released for a moment. Thank you–looking forward to the next videos with hope.
I felt a sense of relief at accepting what I was feeling, which was some anxiety. I have been following Tara and Jack for some time so am familiar with this technique. None the less each time I hear it being taught It becomes more a part of me. I’m hoping to help my clients in a like manner.
I realized how tired I am, and how I feel worthy only for what I do for others rather than just because I am here in this world. Bringing kindness to that felt like a large exhale and a bit of warmth brought to a cold room.
Your comments spoke to me. As I often feel the same. That is feeling good when I am doing for others. And not always being my own best friend. It’s tiresome not being kinder to myself.Especially when I’m right here all the time with myself. There is so many opportunities. Each moment is a new opportunity to be kind to myself.
Fest video and story about yourself. I think most of us are our own worst enemies… while I used to be somewhat self-confident even though I suffered a lot of self judgement and analysis, with my failed 22 year marriage and then another two year relationship ending and my finances and career being in shambles, I have fallen into a pit of self loathing and despair. I am usually very compassionate but I have lost that somewhat… like you said because I have lost it with myself, therefore I don’t have it for others as readily as I once did…
Beth Smith, Social Work, North Potomac , MD, USAsays
It felt a bit like putting on a new outfit … was
It comfortable? Could I allow myself to live in it? Would I actually wear it again or just toss it to the back of my closet? Bringing an attitude of love and acceptance of myself feels strange and unfamiliar … but also like something I MUST do … I’ve spent decades putting others before me. I must shift this. I will be a better clinician if my tank is full … not just sometimes but always
I felt “yes” of course that’s what is needed.
It is that simple. Now to melt the years that the opposite has crystalized in the body……but I trust that getting rid of the not so good will get easier the more we are in mindfulness and thus will be led to bringing kindness to self.
Thank you, Tara.
I felt like the problem became more solvable, easier to handle, because it lost some of its emotional baggage and became simply another challenge I needed to find a solution to.
How can you love yourself when you’ve never been shown love?
I was abused since birth. However, I’m practicing a little at a time, with help.
I’m 70 years old. Never too late to be kind to oneself.
Dear Tara, I’m grateful for your wisdom and find myself returning to it each time I forget the RAIN of self compassion. Each time I bring kindness I experience a softening which reminds me of the rigidity of harshness and judgement. In appreciation. Namaste
A tired feeling… of “oh this again”… , my head said I can be compassionate to myself, but I didn’t really feel it in the moment. It was more a sense of acceptance.
I’ve been practising bringing kindness to what is going on inside me now, for quite some time. I just start to get somewhere with this practice, and boom, that frightened little child part of my mind, tries really hard to sabotage all my efforts and pulls me back into the trance. Too many thoughts at once, then feel panic/intense emotion in my physical body. Then, I become unsure as to whether this dance will ever end.
I experienced a brief sense of relief and peace. I also felt ashamed that, for all the times my body has been there for me, I dare to lose sight of kindness, and accept that with that feeling, things always take a better turn.
I am feeling embarrassment and shame for still living with self contempt, I have difficulty opening up to any words or feelings that bring self care. At just about 62 I have shame that I wasted my life in ego and lies about who I am.
I feel held and known when I breathe in and actively look at what is happening within me and trust myself that I know me!! Then the kindness comes and there is a gentle healing balm that opens me to true love and my real self.
Thanks, Tara. What a beautiful practice – we all feel the heaviness of life at some points. I am grateful to have access to these little moments with you – thanks for sharing your work so generously.
I realised that I can priortise the things I have to do to day in a way that ensures I spend enough time on the activities that make me feel good about myself.
I recognised that my feelings of anxiety and fear are transient. When they arise and I observe them with tenderness, acceptance and mindful awareness they intensify – ( the scary bit) then they shift. I remain mindful and aware but know when anxiety or fear arises again they will dissolve to allow space for clarity, compassion and even joy. I’m still on the lookout for trust!
I feel less overwhelmed and a little relief.
I am not alone. It’s Okay to not be Okay, to let others see our suffering. I feel a little kindness towards myself.
I felt like I had permission to feel worthy and be ok with my flaws and the talents I long to pursue — if only I could be focused and passionate without neglecting others and be strong enough to bear the weight of others judgment.
I relate to every word you just spoke
And I feel like laying down to have a big cry
When I offered kindness and I my self hatred, I felt a huge Physical weight of sadness in my chest
Felt that I can continue to meditate on loving kindness toward self and to be of maximum services via kindness towards those around me – wife, poodles, clients, friends, family.
RJ Garcia
Interventionist, Therapist, Optimize Coach
Doable Recovery Institute
I felt a kind of futility, like, do I really have any other choice than to be with my fear in kindness? Then came a realization that avoiding it will not make it go away, and grief and compassion for myself in this suffering.
For just a moment I felt a softening inside of all the anxious judgement and rage, but it was quickly erased by a mind that demanded justification for the kindness. Grateful for this video and the welcoming of Tara’s voice and message.
Karen Warren, Another Field, Madison Heights, MI, USAsays
I noticed that I was a bit stressed about how much work I have left to do. When I brought kindness to the thought of “what I’ve done isn’t enough”, I could see that its more important to go home and love on the cats and let them love me back than to finish another hour’s worth of work.
There was a battle between the kind me and the critical judging me. The kind me eventually asked the judge what she needed and was told that she needed acceptance and to be seen..
I realize that I haven’t been my own best friend. I recognize the second arrow when I feel mad at myself for things I did today that were not as kind or good for me as they could be. I say it’s ok sweetheart, we can try again tomorrow.
Mantra for the week, be my own best friend
I am feeling an insurmountable personal loss, grief, total aloneness, being disconnected and so sad for the state of our world. I’m older and just lost my “life partner” a year before the pandemic and then my home. No family, no support beyond a handful of good friends. Everyone who loved me has died and I have been the one to care for two of them in my home until their passing over the past 15 years. My mother and life partner and many fur children and I mourn and grieve and try so hard to practice but I mostly cry when I listen to your “talks” and I love your stories of humanity. In a way you have helped me stay alive. Namaste
I found myself wrapping my own arms around me and reassuring myself that “I” am here.
“Please be kind’ – these words really caused a deep effect on me. I’ve heard and said them before, but they were never so meaningful.
Thank you.
i felt blocked, sad & lonely on the inside. . . flat affect on the outside. I live alone since my divorce (10+ years ago). Grateful for the company of a sweet canine companion.
;thank you for the video, I was feeling discomfort trying to think answers
Hope
I am amazed of all of us feeling this self sabotage, but the shame get’s smaller as I read all of you’s. I feel real and OK. Thank you Tara and all of you’s out there.
I was experiencing a guardedness and protective aloofness. When I tried to bring kindness to that experience, it felt like the protective part relaxed the smallest amount–like her shoulders released for a moment. Thank you–looking forward to the next videos with hope.
I felt a softness of comfort rather than like a heartburn from what I live with when triggered
I felt a sense of relief at accepting what I was feeling, which was some anxiety. I have been following Tara and Jack for some time so am familiar with this technique. None the less each time I hear it being taught It becomes more a part of me. I’m hoping to help my clients in a like manner.
I realized how tired I am, and how I feel worthy only for what I do for others rather than just because I am here in this world. Bringing kindness to that felt like a large exhale and a bit of warmth brought to a cold room.
Dear TKE,
Your comments spoke to me. As I often feel the same. That is feeling good when I am doing for others. And not always being my own best friend. It’s tiresome not being kinder to myself.Especially when I’m right here all the time with myself. There is so many opportunities. Each moment is a new opportunity to be kind to myself.
Hello Tara,
When I brought compassion and kindness to my trance of unworthiness , the feelings of sadness and “not enough ness “ did soften.
So I thank you for this free video and I easily think the world of you. Now I want to easily think the world ? of ME.
Fest video and story about yourself. I think most of us are our own worst enemies… while I used to be somewhat self-confident even though I suffered a lot of self judgement and analysis, with my failed 22 year marriage and then another two year relationship ending and my finances and career being in shambles, I have fallen into a pit of self loathing and despair. I am usually very compassionate but I have lost that somewhat… like you said because I have lost it with myself, therefore I don’t have it for others as readily as I once did…
Great video
It felt a bit like putting on a new outfit … was
It comfortable? Could I allow myself to live in it? Would I actually wear it again or just toss it to the back of my closet? Bringing an attitude of love and acceptance of myself feels strange and unfamiliar … but also like something I MUST do … I’ve spent decades putting others before me. I must shift this. I will be a better clinician if my tank is full … not just sometimes but always
I felt “yes” of course that’s what is needed.
It is that simple. Now to melt the years that the opposite has crystalized in the body……but I trust that getting rid of the not so good will get easier the more we are in mindfulness and thus will be led to bringing kindness to self.
Thank you, Tara.
fully agree with you. Thanks S
Thank you sooooo much ??❤️
I felt like the problem became more solvable, easier to handle, because it lost some of its emotional baggage and became simply another challenge I needed to find a solution to.
How can you love yourself when you’ve never been shown love?
I was abused since birth. However, I’m practicing a little at a time, with help.
I’m 70 years old. Never too late to be kind to oneself.
Lots ot tears
So key to recognize that accepting my self is the first step toward connection with others
I could not receive it. this lack of self worth is 73 years old…. it is integrated in my DNA
Yeah, but…….
Dear Tara, I’m grateful for your wisdom and find myself returning to it each time I forget the RAIN of self compassion. Each time I bring kindness I experience a softening which reminds me of the rigidity of harshness and judgement. In appreciation. Namaste
A tired feeling… of “oh this again”… , my head said I can be compassionate to myself, but I didn’t really feel it in the moment. It was more a sense of acceptance.
Beautiful insight ❤️
I’ve been practising bringing kindness to what is going on inside me now, for quite some time. I just start to get somewhere with this practice, and boom, that frightened little child part of my mind, tries really hard to sabotage all my efforts and pulls me back into the trance. Too many thoughts at once, then feel panic/intense emotion in my physical body. Then, I become unsure as to whether this dance will ever end.
I experienced a brief sense of relief and peace. I also felt ashamed that, for all the times my body has been there for me, I dare to lose sight of kindness, and accept that with that feeling, things always take a better turn.
I said to myself, you’re never going to get out of this.. ?
I am feeling embarrassment and shame for still living with self contempt, I have difficulty opening up to any words or feelings that bring self care. At just about 62 I have shame that I wasted my life in ego and lies about who I am.
The tightness in my chest loosened up a bit. The words, “There is nothing wrong with you,” came into my mind.
I feel held and known when I breathe in and actively look at what is happening within me and trust myself that I know me!! Then the kindness comes and there is a gentle healing balm that opens me to true love and my real self.
Thanks, Tara. What a beautiful practice – we all feel the heaviness of life at some points. I am grateful to have access to these little moments with you – thanks for sharing your work so generously.
I realised that I can priortise the things I have to do to day in a way that ensures I spend enough time on the activities that make me feel good about myself.
I felt more tenderness towards myself.
I recognised that my feelings of anxiety and fear are transient. When they arise and I observe them with tenderness, acceptance and mindful awareness they intensify – ( the scary bit) then they shift. I remain mindful and aware but know when anxiety or fear arises again they will dissolve to allow space for clarity, compassion and even joy. I’m still on the lookout for trust!
What happened….hopelessness, despair, too late in my life, tears, headache, chest pain, nausea, hatred of self, shame
I feel less overwhelmed and a little relief.
I am not alone. It’s Okay to not be Okay, to let others see our suffering. I feel a little kindness towards myself.
I felt like I had permission to feel worthy and be ok with my flaws and the talents I long to pursue — if only I could be focused and passionate without neglecting others and be strong enough to bear the weight of others judgment.
I relate to every word you just spoke
And I feel like laying down to have a big cry
When I offered kindness and I my self hatred, I felt a huge Physical weight of sadness in my chest
I tried to hold my heart
Felt that I can continue to meditate on loving kindness toward self and to be of maximum services via kindness towards those around me – wife, poodles, clients, friends, family.
RJ Garcia
Interventionist, Therapist, Optimize Coach
Doable Recovery Institute
I felt a kind of futility, like, do I really have any other choice than to be with my fear in kindness? Then came a realization that avoiding it will not make it go away, and grief and compassion for myself in this suffering.
For just a moment I felt a softening inside of all the anxious judgement and rage, but it was quickly erased by a mind that demanded justification for the kindness. Grateful for this video and the welcoming of Tara’s voice and message.
My heart softened
I do the best I can to hold on to the tiny glimmers of kindness.
Softness. I’m ok.
I noticed that I was a bit stressed about how much work I have left to do. When I brought kindness to the thought of “what I’ve done isn’t enough”, I could see that its more important to go home and love on the cats and let them love me back than to finish another hour’s worth of work.
There was a battle between the kind me and the critical judging me. The kind me eventually asked the judge what she needed and was told that she needed acceptance and to be seen..
I felt a slight release and then relaxed and calmer.