I’m crying it’s so much a part of every day as I care for a dying partner for whom I no longer feel any connection, only resentment and impatience. Listening to you helps me find the discomfort and understand my feelings. Thank you.
I so understand that (having just gone through a similar thing). It’s one of the hardest things, to be functional and try somehow to be present to all the pain and powerlessness, and to lose even the connection to your own heart. Then there is the judgment about that! I’m so glad you are saying this out loud.
Those two questions are a powerful key to soften the inner experience, to allow inconditional acceptance by practicing without judgements, without expectations about results. Thank you so much Tara and Nicabm for sharing these videos!! They bring much more healing to so many people in the world! ??
I am alone and often find myself in thoughts that I am unworthy of companionship. I say,”I don’t even like my own company”. The idea of a trance that i can’t wake up from helped me.
Do you find it easier to forgive others for even bigger discretions? Do you think they are more worthy than you? Consider that nothing is unforgivable, but it a choice not to forgive, or allow ourselves to be forgiven. Have you ever heard the parable of the prodigal son? You can allow yourself to be blessed and have joy in your life.
I have found that I perceived myself, my life, my actions as being unforgivable as well, for many years. What seems to be happening now is a shift in perception as well as realizing that I seem to be much different now than the person I remember who is unforgivable. I think I have punished myself enough and its time to make a new choice 🙂
I was intent on identifying what was happening for me…some restlessness, self doubt, a little hopelessness . Could I be with it? Yes, but then my mind went to my own personal therapy session an hour ago..I might tell him I believed something was wrong with me most of my life…not as frequently now. But I missed the word kindness!!
I realize that the resentment I am feeling toward a long time friend is rooted in fear of rejection and abandonment
This is an “old story” of mine. I am reminding myself that I can allow myself to care and love others without fear. Most comforting is the “new idea” that I will not reject nor abandon myself.
Thanks Tara and all those at NICABM for reaching out to so many people. It has made a world of difference in my life and I know in many others. Take a moment to breathe in the gratitude of everyone who has found a little more peace and well-being from your words. Thank you. ?
Oh MY Gosh!
I needed this so much! I was actually beating myself up the other day and my husband actually said “you are so hard on yourself” I was able to (I thought) move forward yet during the video the anxious feeling were still there. Thank you, I am looking forward to the next videos.
A beautifully photographed reflection of the speaker’s words. It is very difficult to catch nuanced images of people’s silent thoughts but this film accomplishes those insights and, importantly, across a rich representation of age, gender, ethnic, and socioeconomic groups and in settings that capture the varieties of daily experience. The speaker includes the counselor-as-client dimension of ministering to others and does not avoid end-of-life issues, which is important to me as I tend to my own needs while reaching out to others.
Marilyn Grounds, Another Field, Yellow Springs, OH, USAsays
I felt that I want so much to follow this practice a d feel some relief from my u worthiness. I have tried so often, especially these past 5 years, to grow I. This area, yet I seem to slip back, especially with external issues that seem to reinforce this belief. I look forward to part two.
I was eating breakfast while I watched this and had two things going on. One was the bodily sensation of my food having a hard time going down, a sort of blockage. I also had questions which I hope will ne answered in the coming videos!
The feeling of inadequacy and anxiety about what I have to do today felt so real, it was not possible to just “be with it”. The push to improve myself, for the mind to find a way to be better and do better, was so demanding that there was no space for kindness. There was a moment of thinking that “kindness would be nice” but that was soon overtaken by the feeling that I didn’t deserve kindness, I needed to get on with finding better ideas and methods to do what I had to do.
I was reminded once again of this simple, true and effective way to return home to peace, love and joy. Thanks Tara, I continue to feel blessed by you and more able to bless others with the two wings.
We don’t have choice for a lot of things in our lives.
And of course we don’t lives the way we would like to live.
We have basics needs to fulfill and higher needs are secondary.
That is all about.
I realized that I can easily get in touch with what I’m feeling, but instead of just being with the feeling and attending to it with compassion, I immediately jump to “how can I fix this?”
This trance of unworthiness is painfully familiar to me, as it the chronic sense that there is something fundamentally “wrong” with me, this self-aversion. I struggle — and mostly do not succeed — in being kind or compassionate to myself. I keep trying though! Bringing kindness to what I was experiencing during the video was a challenge, but I can tell it will make a difference in time. This time, I could feel a slight, slight softening across my chest of the tightness and upheaval that is so often there. Thank you for what you do.
Thank you, Tara, for bringing this forth from your own life. The trance of unworthiness is such an apt description. I find myself getting captured by the trance and believing it. But I also find that the practices you speak of can bring me out of it completely, sometimes for weeks and months on end. Mindfulness and awareness is so important– noticing the slide into the trance and choosing acceptance, kindness and nurturance toward ourselves. We are so deeply conditioned toward self judgment or other judgment, but if we can notice that when it arises and choose otherwise, we gradually form new habits of being with ourselves. It’s a lifelong practice!
Thank you for offering this video. When I was approaching with kindness, I seem to always be drawn to wanting to help others whose path is not this way. But I never know how to convey it.
There was a softening and an expansion. The painful emotion changed from an acute sharp pain to more of a dull ache. Then there was a sense of expansion, kind of like the pain spread and thinned. And then you spoke. I will explore this again, definitely. Thank You. Namaste
Very caring and soothing video. Compassion is key and we so need to be reminded. Being kind to that part that is afraid and feeling unworthy. Loving it and taking it to our hearts as we would a child. Reassuring and integrating.
Turning my awareness towards myself enabled me to notice pain in my upper body mainly my arms, wrists and elbows. I noticed tension, tightness and aches in these areas and also a dull ache/fatigue. I thought about how much I give to everyone and everything in my life. As I noticed this with kindness and compassion for myself, the tension softened, eased and released.
Asking the 2q’s you mentioned aka intention of compassion towards my self -I felt a sense of relief like a ‘thank god someone speaks my language’. Like i was going to be ok.
When I brought kindness there was an easing of the stress, the knot, the physical pain and the discomfort.
There was a chance to see things from a kinder perspective
My eyes pricked with tears as I recalled the countless times and thousands of ways I have waged war against myself. It’s never easy to bring the attention to a wounded place but kindness and kind attention make it possible to recognize this suffering without causing further trauma. Best of all, with kind attention comes the real possibility for healing such wounds and the freedom to live with care and compassion. I am so grateful for this understanding and will do my best to live by it and share it whenever I can.
Thanks Tara, again I should say. I have been following you and some other wise persons that you work with for several years. I have learned i lot from you and about myself. Today I now pretty well who I am, so to speak, and know what I feel, thinks, say and do an why. There´s a problem. When you become straightforward, honest and loving some, also close people, don´t accept it. It´s some kind of inner fight with myself I have, should I go back to old behavior or not. I know the answer but sometimes I feel bad about it. But at the hole, as a person with integrity and capacity to empathy and love for everybody, including myself. Thanks Tara for your great work!! Anders
Thank you for your inspiring message. As I brought kindness to myself, I instantly started supporting other people on their journey. I have been struggling with deep feelings of unworthiness as I launch a new business. This video helped me “meet myself there “rather than feeling bad that I was feeling bad!
You really make sense to me Tara. Personally, I love to softly touch and caress earthy nature and human nature like new born babies, children to adult, close relationship and friends in need. It makes me feel good, love, useful, worthy…
this struggle is such a long road. I have been able to identify and be aware of what is happening. In my head I can be kind. I can think, educate say the words, but my heart does not absorb the self love or compassion i can give to others. Most days are very manageable and I slide through life happy finding joy. But when the floodgates open i feel like i am carried away and the loathing or pain begins again. Helping others ,being compassionate deflects the pain i carry
kindness won even over anger. Thanks Tara and friends, I love your work Tara, it has helped me through many a dark day over here in the land down under. I am a huge fan. God bless you and your mates too xx
Big thank you Tara. Your message is very encouraging to keep going, I am on my path to self-love for many years. In your exercise, I could bring my love to the inner most wounded part that is asking for attention. I am so grateful I can do this now. Much love.
I noticed an eruption, a mental image of a volcano, and then I noticed it was beautiful and the colours swirled gracefully. I notice my jaw was tense, but not uncomfortable, and the coloured swirling gases in my mind became white smoke curling gently. I felt full of kindness and it was like watching a smoke signal of peace.
I felt tenderness towards myself!
I’m crying it’s so much a part of every day as I care for a dying partner for whom I no longer feel any connection, only resentment and impatience. Listening to you helps me find the discomfort and understand my feelings. Thank you.
I so understand that (having just gone through a similar thing). It’s one of the hardest things, to be functional and try somehow to be present to all the pain and powerlessness, and to lose even the connection to your own heart. Then there is the judgment about that! I’m so glad you are saying this out loud.
Tentative softening. Slowing of thoughts. Just a sense of space.
Those two questions are a powerful key to soften the inner experience, to allow inconditional acceptance by practicing without judgements, without expectations about results. Thank you so much Tara and Nicabm for sharing these videos!! They bring much more healing to so many people in the world! ??
I am alone and often find myself in thoughts that I am unworthy of companionship. I say,”I don’t even like my own company”. The idea of a trance that i can’t wake up from helped me.
I felt compassion for myself
I am unforgivable.
Do you find it easier to forgive others for even bigger discretions? Do you think they are more worthy than you? Consider that nothing is unforgivable, but it a choice not to forgive, or allow ourselves to be forgiven. Have you ever heard the parable of the prodigal son? You can allow yourself to be blessed and have joy in your life.
I have found that I perceived myself, my life, my actions as being unforgivable as well, for many years. What seems to be happening now is a shift in perception as well as realizing that I seem to be much different now than the person I remember who is unforgivable. I think I have punished myself enough and its time to make a new choice 🙂
I was intent on identifying what was happening for me…some restlessness, self doubt, a little hopelessness . Could I be with it? Yes, but then my mind went to my own personal therapy session an hour ago..I might tell him I believed something was wrong with me most of my life…not as frequently now. But I missed the word kindness!!
I realize that the resentment I am feeling toward a long time friend is rooted in fear of rejection and abandonment
This is an “old story” of mine. I am reminding myself that I can allow myself to care and love others without fear. Most comforting is the “new idea” that I will not reject nor abandon myself.
I felt immediately calmer. I even smiled a little bit. It felt very peaceful.
Thanks Tara and all those at NICABM for reaching out to so many people. It has made a world of difference in my life and I know in many others. Take a moment to breathe in the gratitude of everyone who has found a little more peace and well-being from your words. Thank you. ?
Oh MY Gosh!
I needed this so much! I was actually beating myself up the other day and my husband actually said “you are so hard on yourself” I was able to (I thought) move forward yet during the video the anxious feeling were still there. Thank you, I am looking forward to the next videos.
better to say I’m not a professional
the tone of the professional version i didn’t like at all
A beautifully photographed reflection of the speaker’s words. It is very difficult to catch nuanced images of people’s silent thoughts but this film accomplishes those insights and, importantly, across a rich representation of age, gender, ethnic, and socioeconomic groups and in settings that capture the varieties of daily experience. The speaker includes the counselor-as-client dimension of ministering to others and does not avoid end-of-life issues, which is important to me as I tend to my own needs while reaching out to others.
Physically my heart rate went down noticeably……………….then I cried like a child. A start to letting all this go…………….maybe a chance to be calm in there!
Thank you.
a melting or softening occurred.
I felt that I want so much to follow this practice a d feel some relief from my u worthiness. I have tried so often, especially these past 5 years, to grow I. This area, yet I seem to slip back, especially with external issues that seem to reinforce this belief. I look forward to part two.
I was eating breakfast while I watched this and had two things going on. One was the bodily sensation of my food having a hard time going down, a sort of blockage. I also had questions which I hope will ne answered in the coming videos!
The jumbled mess of my pain and struggle felt softer, quieter.
Thank you
The feeling of inadequacy and anxiety about what I have to do today felt so real, it was not possible to just “be with it”. The push to improve myself, for the mind to find a way to be better and do better, was so demanding that there was no space for kindness. There was a moment of thinking that “kindness would be nice” but that was soon overtaken by the feeling that I didn’t deserve kindness, I needed to get on with finding better ideas and methods to do what I had to do.
I was reminded once again of this simple, true and effective way to return home to peace, love and joy. Thanks Tara, I continue to feel blessed by you and more able to bless others with the two wings.
We don’t have choice for a lot of things in our lives.
And of course we don’t lives the way we would like to live.
We have basics needs to fulfill and higher needs are secondary.
That is all about.
I felt a weight lifting and sadness like a young child.
I realized that I can easily get in touch with what I’m feeling, but instead of just being with the feeling and attending to it with compassion, I immediately jump to “how can I fix this?”
This trance of unworthiness is painfully familiar to me, as it the chronic sense that there is something fundamentally “wrong” with me, this self-aversion. I struggle — and mostly do not succeed — in being kind or compassionate to myself. I keep trying though! Bringing kindness to what I was experiencing during the video was a challenge, but I can tell it will make a difference in time. This time, I could feel a slight, slight softening across my chest of the tightness and upheaval that is so often there. Thank you for what you do.
Thank you, Tara, for bringing this forth from your own life. The trance of unworthiness is such an apt description. I find myself getting captured by the trance and believing it. But I also find that the practices you speak of can bring me out of it completely, sometimes for weeks and months on end. Mindfulness and awareness is so important– noticing the slide into the trance and choosing acceptance, kindness and nurturance toward ourselves. We are so deeply conditioned toward self judgment or other judgment, but if we can notice that when it arises and choose otherwise, we gradually form new habits of being with ourselves. It’s a lifelong practice!
Thank you for offering this video. When I was approaching with kindness, I seem to always be drawn to wanting to help others whose path is not this way. But I never know how to convey it.
After this practice, I felt a spaciousness &
connectedness within myself
and the outside world.
I felt a deeper generosity for myself and others.
As always, I have much gratitude for your experience
and wisdom ??And so appreciate these free workshops and meditations. So very helpful.
Thank you?
My eyes filled with tears. I connected into a v vulnerable scared person!
More calm
There was a softening and an expansion. The painful emotion changed from an acute sharp pain to more of a dull ache. Then there was a sense of expansion, kind of like the pain spread and thinned. And then you spoke. I will explore this again, definitely. Thank You. Namaste
I felt an overwhelming sensation of love, this happy feeling in my belly.
Very caring and soothing video. Compassion is key and we so need to be reminded. Being kind to that part that is afraid and feeling unworthy. Loving it and taking it to our hearts as we would a child. Reassuring and integrating.
Turning my awareness towards myself enabled me to notice pain in my upper body mainly my arms, wrists and elbows. I noticed tension, tightness and aches in these areas and also a dull ache/fatigue. I thought about how much I give to everyone and everything in my life. As I noticed this with kindness and compassion for myself, the tension softened, eased and released.
Asking the 2q’s you mentioned aka intention of compassion towards my self -I felt a sense of relief like a ‘thank god someone speaks my language’. Like i was going to be ok.
When I brought kindness there was an easing of the stress, the knot, the physical pain and the discomfort.
There was a chance to see things from a kinder perspective
My eyes pricked with tears as I recalled the countless times and thousands of ways I have waged war against myself. It’s never easy to bring the attention to a wounded place but kindness and kind attention make it possible to recognize this suffering without causing further trauma. Best of all, with kind attention comes the real possibility for healing such wounds and the freedom to live with care and compassion. I am so grateful for this understanding and will do my best to live by it and share it whenever I can.
When I tried this, there was a softening and acceptance. Thanks for reminding me of these ‘two wings’, Tara.
Thanks Tara, again I should say. I have been following you and some other wise persons that you work with for several years. I have learned i lot from you and about myself. Today I now pretty well who I am, so to speak, and know what I feel, thinks, say and do an why. There´s a problem. When you become straightforward, honest and loving some, also close people, don´t accept it. It´s some kind of inner fight with myself I have, should I go back to old behavior or not. I know the answer but sometimes I feel bad about it. But at the hole, as a person with integrity and capacity to empathy and love for everybody, including myself. Thanks Tara for your great work!! Anders
Thank you for your inspiring message. As I brought kindness to myself, I instantly started supporting other people on their journey. I have been struggling with deep feelings of unworthiness as I launch a new business. This video helped me “meet myself there “rather than feeling bad that I was feeling bad!
It was like an instant flow… The minute I brought kindness to myself I felt generous and genuinely interested in supporting and encouraging others.
Nothing. I had blankness inside.
Noticing the blankness is awareness! Can you bring kindness to that experience?
Showing kindness allowed a feeling of self acceptance and healing.
You really make sense to me Tara. Personally, I love to softly touch and caress earthy nature and human nature like new born babies, children to adult, close relationship and friends in need. It makes me feel good, love, useful, worthy…
this struggle is such a long road. I have been able to identify and be aware of what is happening. In my head I can be kind. I can think, educate say the words, but my heart does not absorb the self love or compassion i can give to others. Most days are very manageable and I slide through life happy finding joy. But when the floodgates open i feel like i am carried away and the loathing or pain begins again. Helping others ,being compassionate deflects the pain i carry
Calm , soothing and reassuring.
Kind to help without always seeking financial inducements. Free is the future to change .
kindness won even over anger. Thanks Tara and friends, I love your work Tara, it has helped me through many a dark day over here in the land down under. I am a huge fan. God bless you and your mates too xx
Big thank you Tara. Your message is very encouraging to keep going, I am on my path to self-love for many years. In your exercise, I could bring my love to the inner most wounded part that is asking for attention. I am so grateful I can do this now. Much love.
I noticed an eruption, a mental image of a volcano, and then I noticed it was beautiful and the colours swirled gracefully. I notice my jaw was tense, but not uncomfortable, and the coloured swirling gases in my mind became white smoke curling gently. I felt full of kindness and it was like watching a smoke signal of peace.
I realised I had forgotten or disconnected from my body
Really helpful to put into different words what I already know but often forget.