With the practice of mindfulness, lately I am aware of my feelings and many times am able to even analyze and get to the source of why I feel a certain way. But still, it does not take away the feeling of deficiency that stays. Especially in one area in my current life. But with the second question Cal I stay with this with kindness, I felt I could be a kind and patient coach to myself, gently guiding me and waiting and holding my hand so I can slowly teach myself the way out of this low place.
I want to strive towards acceptance of myself, the choices I made whilst I was brain washed by my ex – the choices I made to continue trusting him despite hard physical evidence of abuse. I was with him since I was 13 & now I’m 51. Even though it’s been 2 years since he left, the trauma n repressed memories have only recently come to the surface & I am shocked, disgusted n ashamed that I trusted him despite everything n kept trying over n over
Thank you! I so love your expression “trance of unworthiness”, I have been going in and out of that trance my entire life.
Can I be with this with compassion – yes I think so. I noticed warmth and softness during this short invitation. The habit of being harsh and judging is rather strong though.
Thank you for the video. I had a feeling of sadness when I tried to bring kindness to what I was experiencing. I think it was because I realised I don’t do that with myself very often
first feeling was of rejection, then questioning, and just as fast acceptance and wow–what is this feeling towards me, can I really do this and feel this?? I felt acceptance of who I am today. In this brief time I knew I was an unceasing spiritual being with an eternal destiny in God’s great universe. We are all connected, we are all spiritual beings walking, this land.
Yes! I need to cultivate more self compassion!
Yes awareness! More awareness!!! Less judgement about what I do, think or feel!!! Just be kind! Please Silvia, be kind to yourself!
I looking forward your next video!
I did this meditation for the second time today & was able to put more attention on my feelings of fear & not get so hijacked by my mind. It became something I was experiencing rather than the relentless story of my whole life. I feel hope in living from my heart.
I felt like I was treating an old battle wound that hasn’t healed in years. The wound had toughened skin around it. I had never even looked at the wound before. It was so ugly. Today, not only did I look at it, I treated it—approaching myself like a kind nurse. Thanks for the video!
Be kind .What the wonderful sentence to me… It made a huge releasing happen to my body. They are revealing a moment of my life and the tears are coming down… Thank you .
I cried first, connected and befriended my sadness which turned into compassion for myself. I reconnected with my heart feeling love, tenderness for myself, all other beings and a deep connection, oneness with everything the universe. Thank you Tara for this beautiful gift and blessing today. ? Much love, kindness and light to you and all beings.
Lisa McConnell, Another Field, McPherson, KS, USAsays
When I bring kindness and compassion to what is going on inside me I notice an expanding open feeling in my chest around my heart, where it was closed and heavy feeling before. I feel a brightening of my mood, where it was dark before. I feel like the urging to move forward, where I felt the urge to withdraw before!
Instantly, there is acceptance and self-compassion. Through feeling those emotions and the present sensations, along with the acknowledgement of what is going on inside, a shift occurs. The energy and stronghold those held emotions have, dissipates. Thank you for the reminder that kindness and self-acceptance changes everything.
I felt a moment of compassion for myself. I felt an overwhelming sorrow and several tears. I am my own bully, constantly berating myself for a food addiction and self loathing. I want to be free of this and feel love and acceptance of ME.
It is the pain of being born and the regret that I cannot bring myself to end this life.. to keep trying to find some way to be worthy in my life. It’s just torure.
Breath into that pain and then there is nothingness.
I felt the pain and discomfort and fear about my recurring bladder infection.
I put my hands over my abdomen and felt how I needed more comforting from myself. Besides that, which is enough to deal with, I felt that recurrent feeling of
being flawed and unworthy of completing my creative focuses now in writing.
Feeling less than others who do.
When I practiced the exercise of
Bringing my awareness to my feelings
I felt deep sadness and started to cry.
When I asked myself if I could be with this sadness with kindness, I felt some peace
and the sadness instantly stopped. Like someone turned off a tap. I felt more present.
I’m writing with my feedback about how I experienced the invitation to offer myself kindness. I first began in aversion to allowing myself to do that now. I returned to some mind movie featuring the opposite; next, another part of me seemed to kick in and reminded me to bring myself into the experience. At that point, I let about five or six tensed areas of my body relax into the chair I’m sitting in. I think I hold that area of my body a lot. A lot–a lot. Such that it is often having physical problems. One after the other. I wish it were not doing that for sure, but I often tell my body: bodies get better. That seems to be my mantra to tell myself that I can be well. There is a loving force that will take care of me even while the physical body is still wrangling with what it goes through, has gone through–life’s hard knocks. Thank you.
I had just finished a virtual therapy session with a patient when this popped up in email. I opened it and it was EXACTLY what i had been discussing in session. I got permission from her and forwarded it with lots of excitement as this is so well done. thank you for the reminders we all need to love ourselves….so necessary to loving others. thank you
Dr Arlene G
Kellie Gallagher, Another Field, Eden Prairie, MN, USAsays
When I tried to find kindness for myself, the only thing I could come up with was “I don’t know how”. Like many posters here, I am able to treat others with kindness daily. I volunteer with multiple organizations that take up a lot of my time. I have had a personal relationship loss recently that has deeply affected me. And even though I am fortunate to have many supportive, loving people in my life who are telling me all that is good and kind about me, and that I deserve so much more and so much better, I cannot seem to accept it or believe it for myself. I just feel lost.
I felt deep relief and tenderness towards myself and towards other human beings struggling with same issues, each of us in a unique way and all of us together! Thank you so much! It is so healing to rest here in self kindness!
Guess I have been pretty down on myself. Perhaps I don’t trust that compassion alone will create the boundaries and the respect I think I need. Or maybe I’m just used to trying to control my thoughts and feelings or hooked into what I want or don’t want to happen (again). But why make excuses, something else to generate compassion for, once I’m motivated by that role. Others also struggle to have kinder thoughts for themselves. Thanks for encouraging acceptance and kindness.
I greatly needed to hear this video and precisely right now. I’ve had many losses this year in my family, some due to COVID, and some not, feelings of COVID anxiety, fears and anxiousness over the vaccine, too much time to dwell on the past, mistakes I’ve made, things I said and shouldn’t have, how I reacted that was taken the wrong way or was unkind to someone else, regrets of things done in the past or said to in the past to those close to me who have died, and it has brought on an IBS flare-up. I was so upset with myself, I worked myself up into a horrible state of general fear of everything. I did listen to a self-hypnosis CD on this, which helped greatly, emphasizing the mind is much more powerful than any drug. At the bottom of it all was the topic of your video. What is happening inside me? I am stuck in the past. Can I be with this with kindness? Not specifically being stuck in the past, but I believe I can be kind with my thoughts, to tell my little body that I love it and accept it no matter what, and to just watch the thoughts separate from me, repeatedly letting them go, no matter how many times I need to do this. It was a comfort to hear of your experience and know others are struggling similarly.
Beverlee Witham, Another Field, Spokane, WA, USAsays
Struggling with a failing marriage, addiction, a loss of close family members and Covid-19, I freely open my heart to almost all but self. I resist. It persists. A softening self acceptance, kindness and love of self seem foreign to my nature. I judge myself (and very few others) critically and harshly. I feel never good enough which I know in my heart not to be true. To be and stay in these mindful conversations will help. Thank you for sharing the gifts of kindness and compassion, Tara. You are a blessing to this world.
With the practice of mindfulness, lately I am aware of my feelings and many times am able to even analyze and get to the source of why I feel a certain way. But still, it does not take away the feeling of deficiency that stays. Especially in one area in my current life. But with the second question Cal I stay with this with kindness, I felt I could be a kind and patient coach to myself, gently guiding me and waiting and holding my hand so I can slowly teach myself the way out of this low place.
I want to strive towards acceptance of myself, the choices I made whilst I was brain washed by my ex – the choices I made to continue trusting him despite hard physical evidence of abuse. I was with him since I was 13 & now I’m 51. Even though it’s been 2 years since he left, the trauma n repressed memories have only recently come to the surface & I am shocked, disgusted n ashamed that I trusted him despite everything n kept trying over n over
Thank you! I so love your expression “trance of unworthiness”, I have been going in and out of that trance my entire life.
Can I be with this with compassion – yes I think so. I noticed warmth and softness during this short invitation. The habit of being harsh and judging is rather strong though.
I felt a smile forming automatically when i bought kindness to the feeling
Overwhelming emotion-tears and relief
Thank you for the video. I had a feeling of sadness when I tried to bring kindness to what I was experiencing. I think it was because I realised I don’t do that with myself very often
I noticed space and a capacity to be with. It felt like, no matter what I will be okay.
first feeling was of rejection, then questioning, and just as fast acceptance and wow–what is this feeling towards me, can I really do this and feel this?? I felt acceptance of who I am today. In this brief time I knew I was an unceasing spiritual being with an eternal destiny in God’s great universe. We are all connected, we are all spiritual beings walking, this land.
Yes! I need to cultivate more self compassion!
Yes awareness! More awareness!!! Less judgement about what I do, think or feel!!! Just be kind! Please Silvia, be kind to yourself!
I looking forward your next video!
Thank you for this video!!!
I felt Openess and feeling creating Espace and a sense of Trust and self-compassion.
I felt an internal shift. More relaxed and centered – more love towards myself. Thank you
I did this meditation for the second time today & was able to put more attention on my feelings of fear & not get so hijacked by my mind. It became something I was experiencing rather than the relentless story of my whole life. I feel hope in living from my heart.
I felt like I was treating an old battle wound that hasn’t healed in years. The wound had toughened skin around it. I had never even looked at the wound before. It was so ugly. Today, not only did I look at it, I treated it—approaching myself like a kind nurse. Thanks for the video!
I felt love within
Be kind .What the wonderful sentence to me… It made a huge releasing happen to my body. They are revealing a moment of my life and the tears are coming down… Thank you .
I cried first, connected and befriended my sadness which turned into compassion for myself. I reconnected with my heart feeling love, tenderness for myself, all other beings and a deep connection, oneness with everything the universe. Thank you Tara for this beautiful gift and blessing today. ? Much love, kindness and light to you and all beings.
I felt relief and warmth, trust and less anxiety. Also a lot of Joy! Thank you so much
Resistance left and I felt welcomed ‘in’…
Thank you for this – kind and gentle in itself! Julie
A sense of riding an elevator from the 20th floor to the ground floor breathing in kindness and exhaling that which no longer serves me in the moment.
When I bring kindness and compassion to what is going on inside me I notice an expanding open feeling in my chest around my heart, where it was closed and heavy feeling before. I feel a brightening of my mood, where it was dark before. I feel like the urging to move forward, where I felt the urge to withdraw before!
Instantly, there is acceptance and self-compassion. Through feeling those emotions and the present sensations, along with the acknowledgement of what is going on inside, a shift occurs. The energy and stronghold those held emotions have, dissipates. Thank you for the reminder that kindness and self-acceptance changes everything.
I felt a moment of compassion for myself. I felt an overwhelming sorrow and several tears. I am my own bully, constantly berating myself for a food addiction and self loathing. I want to be free of this and feel love and acceptance of ME.
A calming and softening to what is
It is the pain of being born and the regret that I cannot bring myself to end this life.. to keep trying to find some way to be worthy in my life. It’s just torure.
Breath into that pain and then there is nothingness.
I felt a heaviness in my heart (losing power), lacking courage to make changes in life/vs. staying where I am
I felt a sense of calm come over me.
I felt better about myself when gave self compassion.
I felt the pain and discomfort and fear about my recurring bladder infection.
I put my hands over my abdomen and felt how I needed more comforting from myself. Besides that, which is enough to deal with, I felt that recurrent feeling of
being flawed and unworthy of completing my creative focuses now in writing.
Feeling less than others who do.
When locking with kindness at my inner world there was a picture of how i felt. Staying with that picture gave me answeres. A kind of healing
Very nice and sweet!
I felt choked up, little lump in throat and teary.
When I practiced the exercise of
Bringing my awareness to my feelings
I felt deep sadness and started to cry.
When I asked myself if I could be with this sadness with kindness, I felt some peace
and the sadness instantly stopped. Like someone turned off a tap. I felt more present.
Hello,
I’m writing with my feedback about how I experienced the invitation to offer myself kindness. I first began in aversion to allowing myself to do that now. I returned to some mind movie featuring the opposite; next, another part of me seemed to kick in and reminded me to bring myself into the experience. At that point, I let about five or six tensed areas of my body relax into the chair I’m sitting in. I think I hold that area of my body a lot. A lot–a lot. Such that it is often having physical problems. One after the other. I wish it were not doing that for sure, but I often tell my body: bodies get better. That seems to be my mantra to tell myself that I can be well. There is a loving force that will take care of me even while the physical body is still wrangling with what it goes through, has gone through–life’s hard knocks. Thank you.
I felt the beginning of compassion.
A slight weight was lifted and a sense of this too shall pass….
I immediately thought of a client that I was just talking to about this very issue. My hope is that presenting this to her will help her heal.
I had just finished a virtual therapy session with a patient when this popped up in email. I opened it and it was EXACTLY what i had been discussing in session. I got permission from her and forwarded it with lots of excitement as this is so well done. thank you for the reminders we all need to love ourselves….so necessary to loving others. thank you
Dr Arlene G
So good! The 2 questions are useful.
When I tried to find kindness for myself, the only thing I could come up with was “I don’t know how”. Like many posters here, I am able to treat others with kindness daily. I volunteer with multiple organizations that take up a lot of my time. I have had a personal relationship loss recently that has deeply affected me. And even though I am fortunate to have many supportive, loving people in my life who are telling me all that is good and kind about me, and that I deserve so much more and so much better, I cannot seem to accept it or believe it for myself. I just feel lost.
I felt deep relief and tenderness towards myself and towards other human beings struggling with same issues, each of us in a unique way and all of us together! Thank you so much! It is so healing to rest here in self kindness!
i immediately felt a softening in my heart and i started to cry.
a gentle reminder of the softness of life… thank you
Guess I have been pretty down on myself. Perhaps I don’t trust that compassion alone will create the boundaries and the respect I think I need. Or maybe I’m just used to trying to control my thoughts and feelings or hooked into what I want or don’t want to happen (again). But why make excuses, something else to generate compassion for, once I’m motivated by that role. Others also struggle to have kinder thoughts for themselves. Thanks for encouraging acceptance and kindness.
The lump in my throat began to melt away . . . a reprieve from the pain I’ve been suffering . . .
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Thank you so so much for this!
I felt a huge anxiety in my mid-section which is a quaking associated with my Parkinson’s disease, but also feels like anxiety and fear.
The sense of caring was unfamiliar. A really new perspective.
LP
I greatly needed to hear this video and precisely right now. I’ve had many losses this year in my family, some due to COVID, and some not, feelings of COVID anxiety, fears and anxiousness over the vaccine, too much time to dwell on the past, mistakes I’ve made, things I said and shouldn’t have, how I reacted that was taken the wrong way or was unkind to someone else, regrets of things done in the past or said to in the past to those close to me who have died, and it has brought on an IBS flare-up. I was so upset with myself, I worked myself up into a horrible state of general fear of everything. I did listen to a self-hypnosis CD on this, which helped greatly, emphasizing the mind is much more powerful than any drug. At the bottom of it all was the topic of your video. What is happening inside me? I am stuck in the past. Can I be with this with kindness? Not specifically being stuck in the past, but I believe I can be kind with my thoughts, to tell my little body that I love it and accept it no matter what, and to just watch the thoughts separate from me, repeatedly letting them go, no matter how many times I need to do this. It was a comfort to hear of your experience and know others are struggling similarly.
Struggling with a failing marriage, addiction, a loss of close family members and Covid-19, I freely open my heart to almost all but self. I resist. It persists. A softening self acceptance, kindness and love of self seem foreign to my nature. I judge myself (and very few others) critically and harshly. I feel never good enough which I know in my heart not to be true. To be and stay in these mindful conversations will help. Thank you for sharing the gifts of kindness and compassion, Tara. You are a blessing to this world.
A feeling of “softness”, of holding myself with tenderness and compassion
The painful, dull place began to dissolve.
What a wonderful brief video that helps cover some of the basics of healing from pain, trauma and shame. Thank you