Thank you Tara. I follow you on YouTube and your insights provide me with continuous tasks that I apply. This one comes at a time when I’m struggling with having had to face the fact that the ongoing conflict of living with my son who sees the world thru his squizofrenia lenses has taken a deep toll and a deep feeling of guilt. I was getting to what I call the brink of the abyss. Not wanting to live any longer. I have placed him in a clinic temporarily so I can climb out of the abyss and back to health. I keep your podcast nearby and today this video. I’m deeply grateful for the reminders you bring and the short practices. They provide me with relief.
It was soothing to hear your calm voice. I was urged to examine what I knew existed but did not acknowledge. These were my feelings of anger and loneliness. Thank You.
I practice self acceptance and I benefit of that a great deal. Living together for 55 years with my dear husband, I wish, that he would cultivate being “his best friend”. His catholic upbringing though makes him often feel “unworthy”. How can I deal with that?
I started crying because I know I am not compassionate with myself and I often sees me as a weak person. There is an overflow of restrained feelings pouring out of my head and when I think: be good to yourself, there is like a clearing which allows me to think it is possible to get out of these undermining feelings.
I felt a softening of my shoulders, and I understood my emotions better. Because of Tara’s story about being her own best friend, I also tried to imagine what I as my own best friend would do to uplift myself. I enjoyed it. Thank you.
I was able to allow some of those emotions to surface with crying and just feeling the sensations of those emotions in my body which are mainly in my throat. This makes sense because I am not communicating fully what I really want for myself and my life and if I am communicating them I am not following through on what makes me truly happy because I feel like a lack of money is stopping me or that asking for time away from my family or doing things I love, so I can re-center myself will be selfish. I feel trapped, resentful and ungrateful for feeling that way because we are so blessed with a beautiful home, health, beautiful boys and a husband who works hard and is committed to his family and still I feel unfulfilled and empty inside. I need more to feel alive. I need adventure, I need freedom, I need to breathe.
Has taken me quite a while to hearand want the willingness to allow and hear those words as good, true and desired. Thank you for your kind directions and gentiliness!!
the knot in my stomach loosened, a feeling that perhaps I can relax and not be hyper-vigilant. There is nothing out there that can come ‘get me’ at any time.
I allowed myself to feel what I was feeling without asking whether it should be there or not, without asking about the why … I simply accepted my experience and I found that I was free to express myself without expectation
First, I thought of a recent healing time during which i (imaginatively) approached my young child self with care and compassion, as the adult I am now. And I imagined approaching my current adult self as a caring elder, maybe 30 years older than I am now. I felt hopeful that whatever struggles I am going through now can be “held” by my future self, or a person I can imagine holding me with compassion.
So true, this has been my journey too: Never good enough.
But over the years (I’m now 65!) I have learned to love myself and to be kinder.
This does not equate to delusion, but totally accept that I am a child of the Universe and beautiful to the Creator of it all.
I felt a softening and reassurance as Tara spoke of her experience. It paralled mine. I was not alone. This helped me feel more kindness. I feel a tenderness towards that judge that can be vicious at times. Thank you for this.
Being kind really helps. The exercise of observing what is happening brings me presence and with presence comes peace. Fear only exists for me when I step out to control the future. ARRRGH – such a difficult pattern to break/1
I felt angry. Why would I offer kindness to a person who could be unkind to others? A strong backlash from a part of myself.
Thank you for this talk! I would like to say that I found the music to be very distracting. My attention was often divided. Your voice is lovely on its own.
I have a big hole within. I have been being kind to myself and it is helping. I am without direction. I do tasks as they occur so that I have something to count as completed.
I felt love for myself. Peace. A feeling of relief and relaxation.
Trusting myself to be kind and compassionate, to myself, as well as others.
Thank you!
I feel calm. I have been working through some painful memories with my therapist. Those feelings are there. And rather then fight them or freak out. I’m just allowing them to be there. I’m feeling kindness towards myself and the hurt.
I am able to bring kindness and compassion to myself and the “addictions” that I can so easily judge myself for. This has only come tome in recent time, having listened to Tara and meditated for many years. And even with that said, it is a continual process. I judge and in the next moment, I open my heart towards myself – I’m a work I progress!! Thank you for the continual guidance…
I need the next video stat… ☺️. What happened when I sat with the pain I am feeling in my heart? It’s sadness and heart ache really. The somatic ache lessened a bit but the sadness is still there.
I feel like a jumble of energy is swirling around inside of me. Bringing kindness slowed the swirling down somewhat. I am new on my ‘discovery’ journey – there is so much to learn, consider and try – so as I experience the various offerings out there, I hope to find a good fit. Thank you for your lovely video – I will be watching!
I wanted to sabotage it, not let happen, by going to get a sweet, but I didn’t. I haven’t. I got a glass of water instead. Shows me I need reminders,reminders, reminders.
Thank you for this free help,
Ruth
I felt a flood of unconditional love and cried. It has taken me a very long time to learn to register the voice of my inner critic, the split second cleverness of my inner judgements and it has taken me a lifetime to learn that I am worthy of being cared about and loved. I can do it now and it is good. I related very much to your story Tara.
Erica Robinson, Another Field, Houston, TX, USAsays
I noticed that I felt very blah and lazy and negative because I had things to do! When I brought kindness and acceptance, it was allowed to feel this way and I rested for 30 minutes. During that time I realized that both my parents had passed away on this day in different years. Of course!! I rested in the love we shared and then felt my energy return!
Thank you Tara!
First, Tara could substitute my name for hers and the same self-talk would be accurate for me, too. I’ve learned self-compassion techniques for some time and include mindfulness meditation. But, putting into practice is just… hard. I won’t stop trying.
I was able to depersonalize a bit and look at my ‘problem’ from a more global perspective which removed some of the judgement. I was also able to come up with some solutions and resolutions that were not available before.
Noreen OBrien, Another Field, Richmond, VA, USAsays
It is hard. I am a carrier of DMD and I passed the disease to my son, who is a completely stellar person. He’s now 21 and getting ready to graduate from college, Magna Cum Laude. He, I believe, received a wonderful childhood, but then he was diagnosed at age 8.5. He had wonderful parents, but as I got stronger in acceptance of this disease, his father grew weaker and full of toxic shame. But due to the way I was conditioned by my mother, I have always lived with thinking I’m never going to be good enough. Through meditation and talks like these, I have become a far more aware person, but I still have trouble with thinking I’m not good enough. My ex husband told me that I gave him a defective child and that it was all my fault. Now I carry the guilt that I gave my son a death sentence – even though I was adopted and never knew DMD ran in my biological family. I feel like I will never be able to live up to my son because I did this horrid thing to him. I gave him a fatal disease. The guilt is doubled because I know have guilt on guilt because I feel completely trapped as well. I have spent many courses and days RAIN-ing on myself and I am aware, I thing at least, of my feelings and I also know that no feeling is final, but this once of giving my son an early death sentence never changes – and it always seems to be there stuck in constant misery. My son is amazing and has stood by me while I fight for everything he needs and I will lovingly do this until the day I no longer can, but I just don’t know how to move away from the horrid feeling of – look what I’ve done to another human being! I’ve no clue, but I will give the two remaining videos a glance as well although I’ve noted them before because I am a staunch follower of IMCW. Sorry for the book, but I just don’t know what else to do to relieve this guilt and shame. Maybe one day, I will figure it out.
Noreen,
Thank you for sharing your painful journey. I could tell you all the things I think you should believe, but I know you will find it on your own. Please keep up the journey of self-compassion ~ dissect it, learn what it truly means and implement it as often as you can. I can tell by your words that you are a beautiful being with compassion for all others. Please find a way to present that to yourself.
This is exactly what I need. When I did the exercise with you, I felt a complete shift in my feelings. I also realized that all of the negative talk in my head came from me only. No one was speaking negatively to me. I have been down on myself for a number of months unable to cope due to exhaustion and some medical issues. I noticed this week that my feelings of self loathing were affecting my reactions to others; impatience, judgments, and anger followed by deeper feelings of self loathing. I know that this way of being is not my true self. I occasionally go on retreats where I reconnect with my true, best-version-of-myself. I feel wonderful; so strong, loving, and connected to all living beings.
The minute I see your friendly face and hear your compassionate voice, I start to calm down. Thank you.
Thank you Tara. I follow you on YouTube and your insights provide me with continuous tasks that I apply. This one comes at a time when I’m struggling with having had to face the fact that the ongoing conflict of living with my son who sees the world thru his squizofrenia lenses has taken a deep toll and a deep feeling of guilt. I was getting to what I call the brink of the abyss. Not wanting to live any longer. I have placed him in a clinic temporarily so I can climb out of the abyss and back to health. I keep your podcast nearby and today this video. I’m deeply grateful for the reminders you bring and the short practices. They provide me with relief.
It was soothing to hear your calm voice. I was urged to examine what I knew existed but did not acknowledge. These were my feelings of anger and loneliness. Thank You.
there came more space, softness. I could feel the pain more clearly, raw and my judgement of the judgement 🙂 & then compassion…ahhh….
I practice self acceptance and I benefit of that a great deal. Living together for 55 years with my dear husband, I wish, that he would cultivate being “his best friend”. His catholic upbringing though makes him often feel “unworthy”. How can I deal with that?
I started crying because I know I am not compassionate with myself and I often sees me as a weak person. There is an overflow of restrained feelings pouring out of my head and when I think: be good to yourself, there is like a clearing which allows me to think it is possible to get out of these undermining feelings.
I felt a softening of my shoulders, and I understood my emotions better. Because of Tara’s story about being her own best friend, I also tried to imagine what I as my own best friend would do to uplift myself. I enjoyed it. Thank you.
I wanted to resist it. Kindness from myself, to myself felt weak, I don’t need to be like that, to myself!
Pretty Negative, huh!
I was able to allow some of those emotions to surface with crying and just feeling the sensations of those emotions in my body which are mainly in my throat. This makes sense because I am not communicating fully what I really want for myself and my life and if I am communicating them I am not following through on what makes me truly happy because I feel like a lack of money is stopping me or that asking for time away from my family or doing things I love, so I can re-center myself will be selfish. I feel trapped, resentful and ungrateful for feeling that way because we are so blessed with a beautiful home, health, beautiful boys and a husband who works hard and is committed to his family and still I feel unfulfilled and empty inside. I need more to feel alive. I need adventure, I need freedom, I need to breathe.
I felt a sense of warmth and love…….and a smile. Thank you!
Patty Howe
Has taken me quite a while to hearand want the willingness to allow and hear those words as good, true and desired. Thank you for your kind directions and gentiliness!!
Thank you for this. Mindfulness brings calmness.
I had a feeling of resistance and offering loving kindness did break that barrier a bit.
There was a slight diminishment of tension in my chest.
the knot in my stomach loosened, a feeling that perhaps I can relax and not be hyper-vigilant. There is nothing out there that can come ‘get me’ at any time.
I softened up and tears came out.
I allowed myself to feel what I was feeling without asking whether it should be there or not, without asking about the why … I simply accepted my experience and I found that I was free to express myself without expectation
First, I thought of a recent healing time during which i (imaginatively) approached my young child self with care and compassion, as the adult I am now. And I imagined approaching my current adult self as a caring elder, maybe 30 years older than I am now. I felt hopeful that whatever struggles I am going through now can be “held” by my future self, or a person I can imagine holding me with compassion.
So true, this has been my journey too: Never good enough.
But over the years (I’m now 65!) I have learned to love myself and to be kinder.
This does not equate to delusion, but totally accept that I am a child of the Universe and beautiful to the Creator of it all.
A calm toward myself
I felt a softening and reassurance as Tara spoke of her experience. It paralled mine. I was not alone. This helped me feel more kindness. I feel a tenderness towards that judge that can be vicious at times. Thank you for this.
Being kind really helps. The exercise of observing what is happening brings me presence and with presence comes peace. Fear only exists for me when I step out to control the future. ARRRGH – such a difficult pattern to break/1
I felt angry. Why would I offer kindness to a person who could be unkind to others? A strong backlash from a part of myself.
Thank you for this talk! I would like to say that I found the music to be very distracting. My attention was often divided. Your voice is lovely on its own.
I have a big hole within. I have been being kind to myself and it is helping. I am without direction. I do tasks as they occur so that I have something to count as completed.
I felt love for myself. Peace. A feeling of relief and relaxation.
Trusting myself to be kind and compassionate, to myself, as well as others.
Thank you!
Peace & gratitude. Thank you ?
I felt tired, as though I am due for a long rest under the shade of the Mother tree.
I feel calm. I have been working through some painful memories with my therapist. Those feelings are there. And rather then fight them or freak out. I’m just allowing them to be there. I’m feeling kindness towards myself and the hurt.
I am able to bring kindness and compassion to myself and the “addictions” that I can so easily judge myself for. This has only come tome in recent time, having listened to Tara and meditated for many years. And even with that said, it is a continual process. I judge and in the next moment, I open my heart towards myself – I’m a work I progress!! Thank you for the continual guidance…
I feel a deep connection with me. SOOOO good!
Try to avoid and escape…crying
I feel a lightness, as if the weight of the world is being taken off my shoulders.
I need the next video stat… ☺️. What happened when I sat with the pain I am feeling in my heart? It’s sadness and heart ache really. The somatic ache lessened a bit but the sadness is still there.
Felt a softening and a sense of peace….
I feel like a jumble of energy is swirling around inside of me. Bringing kindness slowed the swirling down somewhat. I am new on my ‘discovery’ journey – there is so much to learn, consider and try – so as I experience the various offerings out there, I hope to find a good fit. Thank you for your lovely video – I will be watching!
I wanted to sabotage it, not let happen, by going to get a sweet, but I didn’t. I haven’t. I got a glass of water instead. Shows me I need reminders,reminders, reminders.
Thank you for this free help,
Ruth
I felt a detached sort of observation standpoint where I was able to see my feelings a bit more clearly without being completely caught up.
I felt a flood of unconditional love and cried. It has taken me a very long time to learn to register the voice of my inner critic, the split second cleverness of my inner judgements and it has taken me a lifetime to learn that I am worthy of being cared about and loved. I can do it now and it is good. I related very much to your story Tara.
I noticed that I felt very blah and lazy and negative because I had things to do! When I brought kindness and acceptance, it was allowed to feel this way and I rested for 30 minutes. During that time I realized that both my parents had passed away on this day in different years. Of course!! I rested in the love we shared and then felt my energy return!
Thank you Tara!
It was amazing Tara thank you for sharing with us it brought it back to my own awareness of my own inner critic. And my own self healing. Thank you ??
First, Tara could substitute my name for hers and the same self-talk would be accurate for me, too. I’ve learned self-compassion techniques for some time and include mindfulness meditation. But, putting into practice is just… hard. I won’t stop trying.
i felt a softening of my heart and i actually smiled
I was able to depersonalize a bit and look at my ‘problem’ from a more global perspective which removed some of the judgement. I was also able to come up with some solutions and resolutions that were not available before.
I felt a little lighter, particularly at the top of my head.
I felt spaciousness and a relaxing or unfolding.
It is hard. I am a carrier of DMD and I passed the disease to my son, who is a completely stellar person. He’s now 21 and getting ready to graduate from college, Magna Cum Laude. He, I believe, received a wonderful childhood, but then he was diagnosed at age 8.5. He had wonderful parents, but as I got stronger in acceptance of this disease, his father grew weaker and full of toxic shame. But due to the way I was conditioned by my mother, I have always lived with thinking I’m never going to be good enough. Through meditation and talks like these, I have become a far more aware person, but I still have trouble with thinking I’m not good enough. My ex husband told me that I gave him a defective child and that it was all my fault. Now I carry the guilt that I gave my son a death sentence – even though I was adopted and never knew DMD ran in my biological family. I feel like I will never be able to live up to my son because I did this horrid thing to him. I gave him a fatal disease. The guilt is doubled because I know have guilt on guilt because I feel completely trapped as well. I have spent many courses and days RAIN-ing on myself and I am aware, I thing at least, of my feelings and I also know that no feeling is final, but this once of giving my son an early death sentence never changes – and it always seems to be there stuck in constant misery. My son is amazing and has stood by me while I fight for everything he needs and I will lovingly do this until the day I no longer can, but I just don’t know how to move away from the horrid feeling of – look what I’ve done to another human being! I’ve no clue, but I will give the two remaining videos a glance as well although I’ve noted them before because I am a staunch follower of IMCW. Sorry for the book, but I just don’t know what else to do to relieve this guilt and shame. Maybe one day, I will figure it out.
Noreen,
Thank you for sharing your painful journey. I could tell you all the things I think you should believe, but I know you will find it on your own. Please keep up the journey of self-compassion ~ dissect it, learn what it truly means and implement it as often as you can. I can tell by your words that you are a beautiful being with compassion for all others. Please find a way to present that to yourself.
Tara,
I loved your book Radical Acceptance, and think that this is a wonderful session. Thank you so much for putting this together <3
Thank you. It allowed me to be in touch with my pain, holding it and soothing myself.
I felt a lightness ( both in colour and sense of weight) thank you indeed for the reminder ?
Margaret, Alberta, Canada
This is exactly what I need. When I did the exercise with you, I felt a complete shift in my feelings. I also realized that all of the negative talk in my head came from me only. No one was speaking negatively to me. I have been down on myself for a number of months unable to cope due to exhaustion and some medical issues. I noticed this week that my feelings of self loathing were affecting my reactions to others; impatience, judgments, and anger followed by deeper feelings of self loathing. I know that this way of being is not my true self. I occasionally go on retreats where I reconnect with my true, best-version-of-myself. I feel wonderful; so strong, loving, and connected to all living beings.
The minute I see your friendly face and hear your compassionate voice, I start to calm down. Thank you.
I thought, yes. This is what I want to do.