William Fellers, Another Field, Citrus Heights, CA, USAsays
I noticed where I manifest my anger,anxiety and fear as usual. My chest and stomach. Also my head and jaw. Breathing helps to focus and relax these areas.
Bill
Great reminder to be my own Bestest Friend lol
Also to self exam and not fear taking the time to looking deeply and allow the wounds to produce so they can be bathed in compassion and love.
Thank-you! RS
Thank you Tara,
I was curious when I noticed a sense that I ve forgotten to be my ‘best’ friend…I often feel more alive in compassion that flows as I accompany another…. today I notice I ve not recognised fatigue simply as it is as I stop nd let go of checking in with myself beyond this is here… so this is mine… avoidance of being with mine… has left feelings untended. I think as I ve thought others are worse off… so I ve felt self/indulgent or bypassed own feltsense in going into a gratitude practice to bolster beig able to give….
Thank you for reminding me….
I had a very strict mother; she wanted my best.
But I find myself having treated myself with the same strictness like my mother did.
And I’ve been strict with other people , too.
I’m 68 now, it’s getting better, but for me there’s still a long way to go.
Immediately while hearing Tara’s voice starting to speak my nervous system, my cells started resonating to the deep meaning of opening up to self-compassion, compassion and to deeply tune in into the realization of these qualities. All these years of practicing and teaching … and then realizing this very moment – heart-mindful. Thank you for sharing! Sagra
When I went ‘in’ I felt it all in my chin, like I go into the world with my chin first, it feels defensive and my jaws ache. This is a default position for me…like I have to drive myself everywhere, left to myself I will disappear…as I welcome it and acknowledge it, the defensiveness just melts away and I realise I don’t trust myself to engage and respond to life so I push and pull and boss myself around which is paradoxical because I know what it is to give my heart the lead, to respond to what is…which has given birth to some of the most powerful experiences of my life. As I meditate more regularly I give myself more choices around responding with love and compassion. I embrace with love and compassion my defensive chin and all that that entails. ??♥️ I also embrace and acknowledge my need to disappear
Even when I know, that all persons in that video are actors, it appears that each of them has had the experience of pain and sorrow. Like me. That makes me feel connected. There are others who feel the same. Is there any hope to come out of depression and the feeling of loneliness? To be kind to myself feels so strange, because my hope always had been, that another important person is loving and caring for me. I know I have to do it myself, but at the moment it seems impossible to me.
Hi Tara,
My question relates to “meeting our feelings, sensations, and moods with care, kindness and compassion”. I actually don’t understand how to do this or what it means. I am also listening to Mindfulness Daily, and of course this is one of the key elements in moving out of the “trance”. However I still have not discovered or understood how can I to do this. What can I say or ask myself at this “step”? It’s one thing to ask myself “ can I be kind to this sensation?”, but how?
Thank you so much for the free teachings you make available Tara. I could not enjoy and learn from them otherwise, and I love them! You are a light in darkness. I hope I can look forward to receiving clarity on this important step. Kind Regards, C
I find it hard to stay present during the video, distracting myself. In a situation earlier today when I brought kindness to myself when feeling rejected I felt the pain and sadness of how familiar this feeling is and the grief related to bringing love and kindness to that now…
Thank you, very valuable practice.
I became aware that I’m not kind to the wounded part of me eventhough I thought I was. I realised that I haven’t taken the responsibility for what I felt. I noticed that because of that I also felt helpless. Seeing all that I took responsibility for what I felt and stopped feeling powerless. It was a relief. I still feel the pain but it’s more bearable.
This video really struck a chord! Thanks so much Tara and NICABM. I could feel feelings and sensations of being unworthy, not good enough, a failure and hopeless. The turning in my stomach, tightness in my shoulders and chest and pounding heart supported these feelings. As did my swirling thoughts. I asked can I be with this and before I could get out kindness, tears were streaming and I was almost sobbing. I felt fear, worry and angst but I leaned into it and felt love, care and compassion as well. A strong feeling of sadness and fear but also relief and lightness as Tara described. Thanks again for this free resource and I look forward to the next video. love and gratitude from me to you
Realisation that I often have difficulty being mindful and that I need reassurance that I am ok. I see my ego jumping in and defending myself when I am criticised by others. I am better about this than I used to be but still lose it quite often
Fear came up, as I stayed with it, I got the images of my young self at school feeling different because of one crossed eye and glasses. Feeling not seen and a group of older boys bullying me, calling me names, and several times knocking me down breaking my glasses. I have no memory of anyone stopping them, or punishing them, or my parents being told except by me. I don’t think anything happened to those boys. I also was left-handed, so different again. My eyes were straightened when I was 9. But the feeling of being different and the fear and anger remained. As I tuned in I felt compassion towards my young self and held her and hugged her.
I felt both sad and compassion toward myself..sad more for the little girl inside of me who was loved and yet felt unlovable…and still carry that around…I want to both embrace who I am and all the possibilities and joy available with self-love and the ability to be more loving toward others. Thank you for this gift. I look forward to exploring this and opening my heart?
Mary Goodwin, Psychotherapy, Southern Maryland, MD, USAsays
I felt a tug at my heart. I resonated with what Sarah said. I didn’t cry but felt tearful. I have done some self compassion work with myself and my clients before. I know this was a reminder that the work needs to continue. And be done on a regular basis. I need to do this daily.
Yes, I could bring kindness to what I was experiencing during the video–I said to myself, then immediately I started to think about earlier today where I didn’t bring kindness. I was annoyed by what someone said and so I turned slightly to pretend I wasn’t listening. Really, they were probably just talking to be more loved, and it would have felt better for me to love them (give them my full attention) than to turn away too. Can I bring kindness is a great question! Thank you.
Thank you for your video, ms. Tara. When I looked inside I found fear of how the future will work out, anger of my work not being recognized and valued and fear of being drawn into working endless hours without having time to study mindfulness.
I felt my inner self respond with this : “ what, me? You want to care about and for me? You are interested in me and my sadness and anger and frustration? ? You would hold space with and for me with compassion? …”
I am really split about losing my integrity when I try to be agreeable with people whose values clash with mine, in areas of politics where, because of my own need for companionship. I am afraid of standing up for what I really and truly want to champion, such as gun control, race relations, etc. – I am not even sure that my judgments or opinions are valid, but if I do nothing, I feel I am not living up to what I should be contributing to making the world safe for future generations.
I am 79 and have, over the years, let go of anger and a poor sense of self. I am living a life true to myself, with clients, with family members, friends. Beside all this I have become deeply political as I see our United States’ democracy badly erode. I not only keep up with what is happening, no matter how, upsetting. I contribute to Democrats, I post items of importance, now even on Twitter. I also give to charities that touch my heart, especially to children and climate change. I am excited to learn a new way to help my traumatized clients – Internal Family Systems, working with parts of them. And this System emphasizes compassion and love for all our parts. My capacity for both has grown tremendously over the years. And I feel happy I have done and am doing it my way.
CarOline Hart, Another Field, Manteca, CA, USAsays
Recently, I asked myself “what is the one thing I can contribute to the world?” My answer came quickly. Kindness. Next, I asked, “what is the one thing I can give to myself?” Again, the answer was there. Kindness. I know this, without the meditation practices I’ve followed with Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield, those answers would have been much more difficult to answer.
In the past,I felt very frustrated because I was afraid to voice how I actually felt. I rediscover my self by following mindful meditation and self compassion.
The path wasn’t easy because I was pretty lost living someone else’s life.But by recognising my pain and embarrassing it has softened the aches and given me positive thoughts instead.
First I was struck by the fact that the video was speaking directly to the suffering I have been experiencing. I have been depressed and anxious to the point of seeking professional help even though I do not want to take medication.
I felt relief knowing that I was not alone and grateful to Tara for sharing her own story. It is helpful to know that someone I admire and who has been “successful” in the world has also felt these feelings and suffered from the “trance of unworthiness.”
Perhaps there was a softening and a ray of hopefulness that entered my psyche. Most of all I felt that my experience was validated, that I am not some flawed creature, a failure in the material world despite much education and privilege.
That has been the hardest part: the judgement about how could I be caught in this trance when I was supposed to be a high achiever?
Yes, I come from an alcoholic family system and that is where the trance was born. Learning to be kind to myself is key. Like T. I have suffered from a merciless self critic. I am taking a breath of relief as I listen to this video again. I feel gratitude which I have not been able to feel much of lately. Thank you.
Karen Parrish, SF East Bay
Hi Tara, I had a lightbulb moment of realisation when you were talking- I do feel lonely & anxious at times & worry whether I am being true to myself in my marriage.
Considering whether I am my own best friend my inner voice was soothing & clear, there’s room for improvement!
I began to connect in my mind’s eye to the faces of a few beings who loved me pretty much unconditionally in the past, now long gone–including a beloved cat (!)–and a soft, gentle humor took over….
Hi, Good vid! Kindness works wonders. Admission time; two weeks ago completed the Neff-Germer 12 hour zoom course on self-compassion. It is good to have the the core principles reinforced from a different perspective. Kindest regards to all. Ole Helgerson
I wasn’t sure I could convince myself. And at the same time I knew that was a old habitual reaction to facing my view of myself as “not able/enough”.
Thank you
I feel sadness as I reflect. My only remaining sibling
Past away 2 weeks ago. My reaction as I feel this is
To cry wishing I could have seen my brother and
Been with him. I also wish that I was more open
With telling him I loved him.
I noticed where I manifest my anger,anxiety and fear as usual. My chest and stomach. Also my head and jaw. Breathing helps to focus and relax these areas.
Bill
Great reminder to be my own Bestest Friend lol
Also to self exam and not fear taking the time to looking deeply and allow the wounds to produce so they can be bathed in compassion and love.
Thank-you! RS
A softening and a warm feeling of, it’s Ok, there’s no need to be fearful of this.
A new softness towards myself.
Thank you Tara for offering your help to so many.
Thank you Tara,
I was curious when I noticed a sense that I ve forgotten to be my ‘best’ friend…I often feel more alive in compassion that flows as I accompany another…. today I notice I ve not recognised fatigue simply as it is as I stop nd let go of checking in with myself beyond this is here… so this is mine… avoidance of being with mine… has left feelings untended. I think as I ve thought others are worse off… so I ve felt self/indulgent or bypassed own feltsense in going into a gratitude practice to bolster beig able to give….
I could feel lots of little muscles all over my body relaxing as I softened into just being present with what is. Thank you for this video.
Peaceful calmness
Thank you for reminding me….
I had a very strict mother; she wanted my best.
But I find myself having treated myself with the same strictness like my mother did.
And I’ve been strict with other people , too.
I’m 68 now, it’s getting better, but for me there’s still a long way to go.
deep feelings
Immediately while hearing Tara’s voice starting to speak my nervous system, my cells started resonating to the deep meaning of opening up to self-compassion, compassion and to deeply tune in into the realization of these qualities. All these years of practicing and teaching … and then realizing this very moment – heart-mindful. Thank you for sharing! Sagra
When I went ‘in’ I felt it all in my chin, like I go into the world with my chin first, it feels defensive and my jaws ache. This is a default position for me…like I have to drive myself everywhere, left to myself I will disappear…as I welcome it and acknowledge it, the defensiveness just melts away and I realise I don’t trust myself to engage and respond to life so I push and pull and boss myself around which is paradoxical because I know what it is to give my heart the lead, to respond to what is…which has given birth to some of the most powerful experiences of my life. As I meditate more regularly I give myself more choices around responding with love and compassion. I embrace with love and compassion my defensive chin and all that that entails. ??♥️ I also embrace and acknowledge my need to disappear
Even when I know, that all persons in that video are actors, it appears that each of them has had the experience of pain and sorrow. Like me. That makes me feel connected. There are others who feel the same. Is there any hope to come out of depression and the feeling of loneliness? To be kind to myself feels so strange, because my hope always had been, that another important person is loving and caring for me. I know I have to do it myself, but at the moment it seems impossible to me.
Hi Tara,
My question relates to “meeting our feelings, sensations, and moods with care, kindness and compassion”. I actually don’t understand how to do this or what it means. I am also listening to Mindfulness Daily, and of course this is one of the key elements in moving out of the “trance”. However I still have not discovered or understood how can I to do this. What can I say or ask myself at this “step”? It’s one thing to ask myself “ can I be kind to this sensation?”, but how?
Thank you so much for the free teachings you make available Tara. I could not enjoy and learn from them otherwise, and I love them! You are a light in darkness. I hope I can look forward to receiving clarity on this important step. Kind Regards, C
I find it hard to stay present during the video, distracting myself. In a situation earlier today when I brought kindness to myself when feeling rejected I felt the pain and sadness of how familiar this feeling is and the grief related to bringing love and kindness to that now…
Thank you, very valuable practice.
Really appreciated it – said it like it really is. Thank you so much.
I became aware that I’m not kind to the wounded part of me eventhough I thought I was. I realised that I haven’t taken the responsibility for what I felt. I noticed that because of that I also felt helpless. Seeing all that I took responsibility for what I felt and stopped feeling powerless. It was a relief. I still feel the pain but it’s more bearable.
This video really struck a chord! Thanks so much Tara and NICABM. I could feel feelings and sensations of being unworthy, not good enough, a failure and hopeless. The turning in my stomach, tightness in my shoulders and chest and pounding heart supported these feelings. As did my swirling thoughts. I asked can I be with this and before I could get out kindness, tears were streaming and I was almost sobbing. I felt fear, worry and angst but I leaned into it and felt love, care and compassion as well. A strong feeling of sadness and fear but also relief and lightness as Tara described. Thanks again for this free resource and I look forward to the next video. love and gratitude from me to you
Realisation that I often have difficulty being mindful and that I need reassurance that I am ok. I see my ego jumping in and defending myself when I am criticised by others. I am better about this than I used to be but still lose it quite often
Fear came up, as I stayed with it, I got the images of my young self at school feeling different because of one crossed eye and glasses. Feeling not seen and a group of older boys bullying me, calling me names, and several times knocking me down breaking my glasses. I have no memory of anyone stopping them, or punishing them, or my parents being told except by me. I don’t think anything happened to those boys. I also was left-handed, so different again. My eyes were straightened when I was 9. But the feeling of being different and the fear and anger remained. As I tuned in I felt compassion towards my young self and held her and hugged her.
I just don’t believe I can handle the sadness I have, so I distract myself.
I felt both sad and compassion toward myself..sad more for the little girl inside of me who was loved and yet felt unlovable…and still carry that around…I want to both embrace who I am and all the possibilities and joy available with self-love and the ability to be more loving toward others. Thank you for this gift. I look forward to exploring this and opening my heart?
I felt a tug at my heart. I resonated with what Sarah said. I didn’t cry but felt tearful. I have done some self compassion work with myself and my clients before. I know this was a reminder that the work needs to continue. And be done on a regular basis. I need to do this daily.
I felt relieved.
Yes, I could bring kindness to what I was experiencing during the video–I said to myself, then immediately I started to think about earlier today where I didn’t bring kindness. I was annoyed by what someone said and so I turned slightly to pretend I wasn’t listening. Really, they were probably just talking to be more loved, and it would have felt better for me to love them (give them my full attention) than to turn away too. Can I bring kindness is a great question! Thank you.
I felt relief
Hi. Thank you for sharing your own experience. I felt a very deep sense of sadness.
Thank you for your video, ms. Tara. When I looked inside I found fear of how the future will work out, anger of my work not being recognized and valued and fear of being drawn into working endless hours without having time to study mindfulness.
I felt my inner self respond with this : “ what, me? You want to care about and for me? You are interested in me and my sadness and anger and frustration? ? You would hold space with and for me with compassion? …”
I am really split about losing my integrity when I try to be agreeable with people whose values clash with mine, in areas of politics where, because of my own need for companionship. I am afraid of standing up for what I really and truly want to champion, such as gun control, race relations, etc. – I am not even sure that my judgments or opinions are valid, but if I do nothing, I feel I am not living up to what I should be contributing to making the world safe for future generations.
I am 79 and have, over the years, let go of anger and a poor sense of self. I am living a life true to myself, with clients, with family members, friends. Beside all this I have become deeply political as I see our United States’ democracy badly erode. I not only keep up with what is happening, no matter how, upsetting. I contribute to Democrats, I post items of importance, now even on Twitter. I also give to charities that touch my heart, especially to children and climate change. I am excited to learn a new way to help my traumatized clients – Internal Family Systems, working with parts of them. And this System emphasizes compassion and love for all our parts. My capacity for both has grown tremendously over the years. And I feel happy I have done and am doing it my way.
Recently, I asked myself “what is the one thing I can contribute to the world?” My answer came quickly. Kindness. Next, I asked, “what is the one thing I can give to myself?” Again, the answer was there. Kindness. I know this, without the meditation practices I’ve followed with Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield, those answers would have been much more difficult to answer.
In the past,I felt very frustrated because I was afraid to voice how I actually felt. I rediscover my self by following mindful meditation and self compassion.
The path wasn’t easy because I was pretty lost living someone else’s life.But by recognising my pain and embarrassing it has softened the aches and given me positive thoughts instead.
First I was struck by the fact that the video was speaking directly to the suffering I have been experiencing. I have been depressed and anxious to the point of seeking professional help even though I do not want to take medication.
I felt relief knowing that I was not alone and grateful to Tara for sharing her own story. It is helpful to know that someone I admire and who has been “successful” in the world has also felt these feelings and suffered from the “trance of unworthiness.”
Perhaps there was a softening and a ray of hopefulness that entered my psyche. Most of all I felt that my experience was validated, that I am not some flawed creature, a failure in the material world despite much education and privilege.
That has been the hardest part: the judgement about how could I be caught in this trance when I was supposed to be a high achiever?
Yes, I come from an alcoholic family system and that is where the trance was born. Learning to be kind to myself is key. Like T. I have suffered from a merciless self critic. I am taking a breath of relief as I listen to this video again. I feel gratitude which I have not been able to feel much of lately. Thank you.
Karen Parrish, SF East Bay
I felt myself let go and relax, felt relieved. Thank you for your wonderful wisdom and generosity.
Blessings. Mary
Hi Tara, I had a lightbulb moment of realisation when you were talking- I do feel lonely & anxious at times & worry whether I am being true to myself in my marriage.
Considering whether I am my own best friend my inner voice was soothing & clear, there’s room for improvement!
I began to connect in my mind’s eye to the faces of a few beings who loved me pretty much unconditionally in the past, now long gone–including a beloved cat (!)–and a soft, gentle humor took over….
Volume is very low! Can hardly hear Tara talking!
Hi, Good vid! Kindness works wonders. Admission time; two weeks ago completed the Neff-Germer 12 hour zoom course on self-compassion. It is good to have the the core principles reinforced from a different perspective. Kindest regards to all. Ole Helgerson
I felt myself relax a little. It felt nice.
I felt a gentle shift within.
I felt relieved and self-love. Oh, it feels so good and yet so hard while in the midst of life happenings.
I wasn’t sure I could convince myself. And at the same time I knew that was a old habitual reaction to facing my view of myself as “not able/enough”.
Thank you
I had the sense of being a young kid, feeling opened up and tearful at being accepted
I felt relief of not being alone in my conflicted feelings and hopeful for some resolution.
I felt a sense of ease with what is and felt fear drop quietly away.
This is a great video for some of my clients. I do long retreats a d have meditated for many decades and bring it to all my clients. And students
That my desire to do things that help others less fortunate, got support and asked me to think about finding some way to actually do it.
I felt some compassion that I have not felt in a very long time.
I feel sadness as I reflect. My only remaining sibling
Past away 2 weeks ago. My reaction as I feel this is
To cry wishing I could have seen my brother and
Been with him. I also wish that I was more open
With telling him I loved him.
I am sorry for your deep loss, Jean, and hope you will feel supported and comforted in your time of sadness and loss. Blessings. Mary K.
reminding me to bring kindness to my own experience softened me and offered space to be conscious and conscientious