I imagined what other people would say if I shared my recent megastore experience and they all were far more compassionate in my imagination than I was to myself.
Charlene Wisman, Nursing, Walnut Creek, CA, USAsays
I try to have self compassion, speak kindly to myself and yet I feel less then. It is hard to feel OK when you don’t have a partner or children. Ive never been married and people talk about their grandchildren. While I enjoy hearing about others and their joys, I can’t help but feel deficient. I find gratefulness in many things, but still feel like I’m not doing enough to better the world. I’m 65, a retired RN and feeling like the world is not getting any better.
Listening to you Tara, I realised that the thing I struggle most with these days is time. I have learned to be kind to myself and not to expect to work long days (and only four a week). But there never seems to be enough time to do the things I want to do, and I get frustrated. Then I remembered something my supervisor said this morning – that I am only one person, and what I am creating in my work will continue in its creation after I have gone. I am just one wave in the ocean, and I am enough for the part I play in this world. Other waves will carry that on, and I don’t need to worry. As long as I am being true to myself, I can contribute what I can in the time I have left in this world.
Thank you. This series is a timely and generous gift. Kindness always works but I forget to use it for myself and my difficult situations and relationships. I go into a protective mode which is defensive, and angry, and leaves me feeling worse about myself and the way I have mis-handled the situation or person. It is a knee-jerk reaction which does not serve me or the person I want to be.
I hope to change my behavior and become more gentle in my response. I practice daily meditation but lately feel more and more distant from my practice.
I saw how I have been trapped in the circle of difficult emotions and how the kindness and compassion for myself wasn’t there. Very emotional video . Thanks
(sent here by my therapist) – I have been battling myself (or past versions of self) with feeling worthy enough to chase my dreams and disregard all the noise…I felt hope with this message today. Thank you!
I understand the concept of being with difficult thoughts and emotions non judgementally but find it hard to practice particularly at low points when fearful and beating self up
Forest Ari Eastwood, Counseling, Winter Springs , FL, USAsays
My worries overcame my ability to focus.
I drifted into thoughts.
I am 78, with arthritis, partial hearing loss, and macular disintegration.
I have a 22year-old adopted daughter who has suffered watching me undergo joint replacements. We live with each other on very little income. I need to stay positive as she moves through her college courses.
I would like her to worry less, to be happy.
Thank you. Beautiful video.
Namaste.
My feelings of overwhelming responsibility with a new supervisory job that begins today are frightening. I don’t like to be out of control. So my “kindness” told myself to make a plan. Schedule my day so I can go on autopilot and see how this goes. I know that might not be “kindness.” I’ve been told (and probably so many also) that I’m a human doing, not being. I feel like I’m missing out on living in the moment b/c I’m always living for the future. I don’t want to rid myself of this habit completely, but finding a middle ground is hard for me–I’m usually an all or nothing type. I’m hoping I’ll get some insight with the next video. Thank you. And thank you for letting me open up.
I cried and felt a little relief. I already knew that i was harsh to myself but i´ve realized that it is really intense and constantly. Thanks for sharing your experience and for this free workshop.
Hi, bringing kindness to myself during experiencing the Video gave me lots of relief, calmness, inner freedom and the feeling of belonging and connectedness. Thank you Tara, for sharing your perls ob wisdom and your heartwarming teachings.
Your short video really touched me as I am aware of certain conditions of worth.
I became aware of how harsh and unkindly I have judged myself. In kindnesses I realise I can work toward changing the unkind judgment that I make towards myself ?
I cried. From a few moments into your video, I felt more open and less angry at the world and at myself. A huge relief. And a realisation this is what I need every day!
I noticed how commonly I try to talk myself out of feeling what I’m feeling.
It’s always: “I shouldn’t feel that way. I should be feeling something else. I’m not allowed to feel this. I don’t feel that way. I’m responsible for making that feeling go away, and it’s my fault that it’s still here. I’m expected to never let feelings get in the way of performance, so these feelings are irrelevant. If I were competent at life, I wouldn’t have to feel this way.”
Bringing kindness to myself meant actually noticing that I was feeling better than I thought I was! That’s a relief!
Yes, directing loving attention, self-compassion and listening to confusing thoughts, is not easy. Where did I learn this idea that it is wrong to be self-compassionate ? I have the gift to be compassionate and non-judging towards others, so why does it feel odd to direct this kind of care towards myself ?
It is mostly “blank”, when I become mindful to what I am truly feeling..
I respectfully echo the words of “anonymous,” hate is very strong. I admire your courage by putting “pen to paper,” and posting your message. Writing can be very therapeutic. It is for me, and a step towards healing.
Tara, her kind and wise energy and words always have a soothing and reassuring effect on me. She reaffirms where I need to go, inside, when I’m hurting…and to go with some, and maybe with more…self kindness. Thank you.
I find your short and insightful videos thought provoking. However, I struggle to identify my feelings and emotions. Therefore, that portal to self compassion does not easily open. Hoping to learn more about this in future videos.
My thoughts were wandering to other people around me and their needs. I felt sad at the not allowing myself to be OK with the way I am and constantly trying to better myself with a little compassion but usually very critical of myself.
Annie Thomas, Another Field, Yellowstone National Park, WY, USAsays
I welled up with so much sadness and guilt and let the tears flow. I could relate to everything Tara said. I feel a sense of comfort knowing I can name it. A trance.
The sensations moved outwards I think, a sense of space opening up, there was a softness, a lightness around the sensations and then I felt my whole body sitting and a sense of stability
bringing awareness to my wounds and the core belief, something is wrong with me, I don’t feel a sense of relief or compassion. I see myself holding on tightly and not trusting myself to let go, or that I am allowed to be perfectly imperfect.
Chris Reed, Another Field, South Orange, NJ, USAsays
This is such a beautiful practice and to use a popular term, a game changer!! It feels as though there are layers emotions and stories around these issues and one go-round is just the beginning. THANK YOU!
When I allowed myself to think about the anxiety causing task that I’ve been avoiding, I posed the question, “Can I do this?” and I began to feel a sense of calm and peace, and some empowerment to face my fear. I can do it. I CAN DO IT!
I saw myself busy doing 1000 things.? Avoidance? Wanting to be seen?
I want to write a peace treaty with myself today and allow all of me to jump over The line of self judgment and come out of this cave of being myself in a hidden place. I want a peace treaty with myself so that I can come to to the place of awareness and self compassion.
Susan Oliv, Teacher, Charlottesville , VA, USAsays
I had just witnessed myself getting down on myself about not being able to make decisions easily, before I listened to the video. I hope I can remember and catch myself next time.
Thank you, Tara! I loved playing this video again. These three talks have helped me be more authentic with my family and friends– and importantly with myself.
I felt a softening and positive compassion towards my self for the exhaustion, and also positive self affirmations for working so hard to learn and find a healing journey for myself, that I am currently in the midst of. Thanks for the reminder to look at myself with that same caring compassion I try to give others or at least used to before I became so dis regulated!
I found the 2 questions really helpful in becoming more focused and simply being there for myself. I felt uncomfortable at first, but with practice, I can see how it would alleviate my core belief system. Thank you.
I imagined what other people would say if I shared my recent megastore experience and they all were far more compassionate in my imagination than I was to myself.
I felt an overwhelming sense of acceptance and peace
I try to have self compassion, speak kindly to myself and yet I feel less then. It is hard to feel OK when you don’t have a partner or children. Ive never been married and people talk about their grandchildren. While I enjoy hearing about others and their joys, I can’t help but feel deficient. I find gratefulness in many things, but still feel like I’m not doing enough to better the world. I’m 65, a retired RN and feeling like the world is not getting any better.
Thank you – so helpful
Listening to you Tara, I realised that the thing I struggle most with these days is time. I have learned to be kind to myself and not to expect to work long days (and only four a week). But there never seems to be enough time to do the things I want to do, and I get frustrated. Then I remembered something my supervisor said this morning – that I am only one person, and what I am creating in my work will continue in its creation after I have gone. I am just one wave in the ocean, and I am enough for the part I play in this world. Other waves will carry that on, and I don’t need to worry. As long as I am being true to myself, I can contribute what I can in the time I have left in this world.
I could breathe a little more deeply, the tension in my chest eased slightly
Thank you, Tara~
This video, and the brief exercise, evoked feelings of sadness, and understanding.
Thank you for your wonderful series ! I practice mindfulness everyday,MBSR . love that you help me about having compassion for myself.
I felt comforted and like it was okay.
Thank you. This series is a timely and generous gift. Kindness always works but I forget to use it for myself and my difficult situations and relationships. I go into a protective mode which is defensive, and angry, and leaves me feeling worse about myself and the way I have mis-handled the situation or person. It is a knee-jerk reaction which does not serve me or the person I want to be.
I hope to change my behavior and become more gentle in my response. I practice daily meditation but lately feel more and more distant from my practice.
I saw how I have been trapped in the circle of difficult emotions and how the kindness and compassion for myself wasn’t there. Very emotional video . Thanks
(sent here by my therapist) – I have been battling myself (or past versions of self) with feeling worthy enough to chase my dreams and disregard all the noise…I felt hope with this message today. Thank you!
I understand the concept of being with difficult thoughts and emotions non judgementally but find it hard to practice particularly at low points when fearful and beating self up
My worries overcame my ability to focus.
I drifted into thoughts.
I am 78, with arthritis, partial hearing loss, and macular disintegration.
I have a 22year-old adopted daughter who has suffered watching me undergo joint replacements. We live with each other on very little income. I need to stay positive as she moves through her college courses.
I would like her to worry less, to be happy.
Thank you. Beautiful video.
Namaste.
I felt like I had more space to feel.
kindness allows me to lessen the pain and the fear
My feelings of overwhelming responsibility with a new supervisory job that begins today are frightening. I don’t like to be out of control. So my “kindness” told myself to make a plan. Schedule my day so I can go on autopilot and see how this goes. I know that might not be “kindness.” I’ve been told (and probably so many also) that I’m a human doing, not being. I feel like I’m missing out on living in the moment b/c I’m always living for the future. I don’t want to rid myself of this habit completely, but finding a middle ground is hard for me–I’m usually an all or nothing type. I’m hoping I’ll get some insight with the next video. Thank you. And thank you for letting me open up.
I was surprised to find a feeling of confidence that I can get through my hard feelings (with a sense of “we” together with myself)
I cried and felt a little relief. I already knew that i was harsh to myself but i´ve realized that it is really intense and constantly. Thanks for sharing your experience and for this free workshop.
Hi, bringing kindness to myself during experiencing the Video gave me lots of relief, calmness, inner freedom and the feeling of belonging and connectedness. Thank you Tara, for sharing your perls ob wisdom and your heartwarming teachings.
Thank you, I lost my mom last year and I’ve been struggling trying to get my life back on track. This helped a lot.
A momentary sense of shift – but only momentarily. A longing to remov the
shielding of depression and to find peace and new life.
Your short video really touched me as I am aware of certain conditions of worth.
I became aware of how harsh and unkindly I have judged myself. In kindnesses I realise I can work toward changing the unkind judgment that I make towards myself ?
I cried. From a few moments into your video, I felt more open and less angry at the world and at myself. A huge relief. And a realisation this is what I need every day!
I noticed how commonly I try to talk myself out of feeling what I’m feeling.
It’s always: “I shouldn’t feel that way. I should be feeling something else. I’m not allowed to feel this. I don’t feel that way. I’m responsible for making that feeling go away, and it’s my fault that it’s still here. I’m expected to never let feelings get in the way of performance, so these feelings are irrelevant. If I were competent at life, I wouldn’t have to feel this way.”
Bringing kindness to myself meant actually noticing that I was feeling better than I thought I was! That’s a relief!
Helpful and sharing with my clients. Thank you.
I felt a sense of calm and regrets over how I have been relating to my body (weight).
Curious.
Not easy to say in your language
Yes, directing loving attention, self-compassion and listening to confusing thoughts, is not easy. Where did I learn this idea that it is wrong to be self-compassionate ? I have the gift to be compassionate and non-judging towards others, so why does it feel odd to direct this kind of care towards myself ?
It is mostly “blank”, when I become mindful to what I am truly feeling..
i hate myself
Please never say that to yourself! Everyday s a new opportunity to embrace ourselves in what we have. Hate is a very strong word.
d d?
I respectfully echo the words of “anonymous,” hate is very strong. I admire your courage by putting “pen to paper,” and posting your message. Writing can be very therapeutic. It is for me, and a step towards healing.
I stopped worrying and gave love and compassion to myself
Tara, her kind and wise energy and words always have a soothing and reassuring effect on me. She reaffirms where I need to go, inside, when I’m hurting…and to go with some, and maybe with more…self kindness. Thank you.
I find your short and insightful videos thought provoking. However, I struggle to identify my feelings and emotions. Therefore, that portal to self compassion does not easily open. Hoping to learn more about this in future videos.
Catherine from Ireland.
My thoughts were wandering to other people around me and their needs. I felt sad at the not allowing myself to be OK with the way I am and constantly trying to better myself with a little compassion but usually very critical of myself.
The part of myself felt more calm and trusting, allowing herself to slow down.
I welled up with so much sadness and guilt and let the tears flow. I could relate to everything Tara said. I feel a sense of comfort knowing I can name it. A trance.
The sensations moved outwards I think, a sense of space opening up, there was a softness, a lightness around the sensations and then I felt my whole body sitting and a sense of stability
I feel everything soften in my bo dy, my mind , in my spirit, in my soul, when I remind myself to be kind to myself.
I don’t know. I’m numb.
bringing awareness to my wounds and the core belief, something is wrong with me, I don’t feel a sense of relief or compassion. I see myself holding on tightly and not trusting myself to let go, or that I am allowed to be perfectly imperfect.
For a moment feeling kindness toward myself felt strange and then as moments ticked by experiencing kind feelings for myself seemed more authentic.
What I’m feeling still felt heavy, but less sticky, pointy, and infected.
A release of anger and tenderness toward myself; a softening around the edges.
I felt much more able to be with my frustration with my difficulty
This is such a beautiful practice and to use a popular term, a game changer!! It feels as though there are layers emotions and stories around these issues and one go-round is just the beginning. THANK YOU!
When I allowed myself to think about the anxiety causing task that I’ve been avoiding, I posed the question, “Can I do this?” and I began to feel a sense of calm and peace, and some empowerment to face my fear. I can do it. I CAN DO IT!
I saw myself busy doing 1000 things.? Avoidance? Wanting to be seen?
I want to write a peace treaty with myself today and allow all of me to jump over The line of self judgment and come out of this cave of being myself in a hidden place. I want a peace treaty with myself so that I can come to to the place of awareness and self compassion.
I had just witnessed myself getting down on myself about not being able to make decisions easily, before I listened to the video. I hope I can remember and catch myself next time.
Thank you, Tara! I loved playing this video again. These three talks have helped me be more authentic with my family and friends– and importantly with myself.
I felt a softening and positive compassion towards my self for the exhaustion, and also positive self affirmations for working so hard to learn and find a healing journey for myself, that I am currently in the midst of. Thanks for the reminder to look at myself with that same caring compassion I try to give others or at least used to before I became so dis regulated!
I found the 2 questions really helpful in becoming more focused and simply being there for myself. I felt uncomfortable at first, but with practice, I can see how it would alleviate my core belief system. Thank you.