I feel pain and suffering, and a lot of darkness. However, when trying to ask me if I can beat it with kindness. My initial response was ” no, I can’t, I don’t want to.” I realized that other than all the darkness of the emotions. I also have strong hatred and angry for myself, to a point that I do not want myself to be healed.
AFTER WATCHING THE VIDEO I WAS IMPRESSED WITH NOT ONLY WHAT TARA SAID, BUT THE WAY SHE SPOKE. COMFORTING, SINCERE AND OPEN. LOOK FORWARD TO NEXT SESSIONS.
when I bring kindness into the times when I am feeling sad or burdened by the amount of work – I stop and show kindness by slowing down, tell myself that I am not a slave and that I am a person who is doing one thing at a time. I am then able to have rest breaks, work with greater efficiency and the job pile decreases. It’s amazing how contrary it seems yet it works.
I was able to bring kindness to the anxiousness speeding mind and anchor I was feeling. Once I brought in kindness I felt a sense of relief, a calming down, and slowing of my thoughts.
I realized I am afraid that my sister will continue to be angry at me and I will not be able to protect myself. I go into frozen when someone is angry and she’s been angry for years but in the last few a bit more angry.
During the mindfulness I sensed tightness in my throat. When I asked could I be with this with kindness I started to breath more deeply. The tightness eased a little. I need to practice this more often
A sense of release comes from accepting/welcoming emotions with kindness. Love the wings metaphor as it’s one that feels true to the idea of taking flight after getting out of the trance. The metaphor is one I will remember. Thank you!
I think that this video has helped me realise that I don’t treat myself with kindness. I treat myself the way that childhood trauma taught me that I deserve to be treated. Thank you for your words 🙂
So many things, I felt my fear of having hope that something I am doing will help. I felt a heaviness, than I felt relief knowing that yet again I can give myself permission to love myself now, not later. Just as I am.
At the moment I was feeling quite relaxed, so there were no strong emotion, which is not my normal state of being. But when I thought of bringing kindness within, I felt a wave of tenderness and love.
My immediate feeling was of sadness when I gave myself space to think/feel what’s going on for me……my habitual tears welled up ……when I gave my self an iota of kindness that wounded place didn’t feel quite so alone and my welling of tears levelled out and I calmed.
When I asked what I felt inside, I felt that I was made of “stuff.” I didn’t feel anything but like a pile of stuff.
Then when I sat with that feeling, I didn’t feel a change. I told myself, “It’s ok to just be stuff.” But I don’t believe that I’m just stuff, so I look forward to the next session!
Btw, I’m neither depressed nor struggling. I do feel I want more out of my life, feel more of a purpose.
This was eye-opening. I’d never considered what might be underneath my recurring pattern of taking on too much. I appreciate the gentle way Tara approached the issue of hidden feelings of unworthiness.
Instead of resting and meditating or just getting still, I ate
did not enjoy what I ate, and felt sick in the stomach
did not want to keep going on this way
so much therapy over the years and no more highs and no more
intoxication from meditation
I have been pinging from thought to thought, thing to thing in stress and confusion, doing everything I can to avoid feeling anything. I’ve been unable to make decisions or tell anyone how bad this really is for me.
When I closed my eyes and really tuned in to how I was feeling, it was fear. Fear of a couple of frightening medical diagnoses, fear of my forgetfulness – of losing my mind. Fear of some big life decisions now that my husband has died.
So trying to bring kindness to that, just for a moment, helped me validate my feelings instead of feeling defective for having them. A lttle bit of that burden has lifted for now. Thank you and I’m so glad my friend sent this to me.
I feel my inner tension and start seeing the little child which tries so much to be seen and loved and I feel compassion for myself trying so much to do the heavy never ending rat race unable to say: “It’s enough. I am allowed to stop and live what I am longing for.”
Even though I have a list of insecurities, I also have a list of tools and I can see how far I’ve come. I’m making progress. I’m teachable. I’m improving.
Wow that was so powerful, thank you, it was like you were me!
So i felt fear and when i tried to approach with kindness i got more frightened, i could feel myself curl up tighter, hide in the corner, shrink and push the kindness away, i didn’t want it, maybe i didn’t deserve it. But then i realised that actually i didn’t trust it. I felt the kindness wasn’t real, wasn’t genuine, that it was luring my defences down then it would mock me, abandon me and leave me in pieces. It makes sense now why my reaction is often “attack dog”… I’m always so terrified of being vulnerable.
Thank you for helping me believe i might one day be free from this tyranny xxx
Thank you, this video had a strong impact on me. The outwardly successful, contained professional person with so much inner turmoil & unhappiness you described was …. me. When I tried to bring kindness to my discomfort I resisted for less than a second but then gave space for my sadness. I wanted to let go of my fear, dysfunction to feel healing, whole & happy. It was a lovely feeling. Thank you
I noticed that my breathing relaxed somewhat and I was breathing more deeply down into Diaphragmatic breathing rather than the surface chest breathing that I revert to when stressed and tense.
thanks for your comment I have a difficult time allowing my deep
the sadness which is often fatigue from a lot of healing work and
having too many expectations of where it would all go,
sometimes you get down deep and it’s not what you were hoping
would be the end of the dark night of the soul
crying helps and being aware of what is happening help
I was feeling resistance toward all the things I have to do this week. When I brought kindness to it, I felt some of the tension release…and I realized how ‘in the future’ I was living. I was weighing myself down with so many things I have to do in the future that I was passing over the present – Just being here in this moment, focused on what I am doing right now. It felt more doable, and I could let go of some of the future-stress because it’s not happening right now.
First of all excuse me, I’m not fluent english speaking… Well I experienced being discouraged with the weight of 65 years of self unworthiness (since the womb) and trying to change my relation to myself but fighting helplessly to change things… totally caught in the transe of unworthiness. I feel and felt drained of energy, no strength to overcome that mountain on my shoulders and back ! I just have the strong feeling of not being able to get rid of all the nervous tensions and accumulated stress resulting in psychopathological health problems as Psoriasis, gut problems and fibromyalgia. I’m overstressed since years, not friend with myself. How to look at myself friendly in a mirror ?
I felt like it was possible for me, but that I was also feeling dispassionate and disconnected. (Perhaps it’s just too much screen time today.) I’m familiar with your work, return to it often, and it continues to help me. Thank you for making this.
This was great!
I feel pain and suffering, and a lot of darkness. However, when trying to ask me if I can beat it with kindness. My initial response was ” no, I can’t, I don’t want to.” I realized that other than all the darkness of the emotions. I also have strong hatred and angry for myself, to a point that I do not want myself to be healed.
I want for you to be healed. I feel a strength in your words. A strength that helped others that now can help you. You are important in our lives.
I thought it was only me
AFTER WATCHING THE VIDEO I WAS IMPRESSED WITH NOT ONLY WHAT TARA SAID, BUT THE WAY SHE SPOKE. COMFORTING, SINCERE AND OPEN. LOOK FORWARD TO NEXT SESSIONS.
when I bring kindness into the times when I am feeling sad or burdened by the amount of work – I stop and show kindness by slowing down, tell myself that I am not a slave and that I am a person who is doing one thing at a time. I am then able to have rest breaks, work with greater efficiency and the job pile decreases. It’s amazing how contrary it seems yet it works.
I’ve been doing IFS work and that sense of my whole self coming in and embracing that anxious part of me and the feelings dissipating somewhat.
I was able to bring kindness to the anxiousness speeding mind and anchor I was feeling. Once I brought in kindness I felt a sense of relief, a calming down, and slowing of my thoughts.
Good stuff…just a smidgen of caring toward this difficult mood today. Love Tara thankyou
I realized I am afraid that my sister will continue to be angry at me and I will not be able to protect myself. I go into frozen when someone is angry and she’s been angry for years but in the last few a bit more angry.
Self kindness is very difficult for me. I hope this will provide a breakthrough.
I felt calmer, kinder, as though i could accept this and still try moving forward.
I felt the warmer, softer feeling
Today I feel calm and centered and also grateful as I hold myself in loving kindness
A lightening of the heavy feeling. Moving out of it and into compassion for myself.
During the mindfulness I sensed tightness in my throat. When I asked could I be with this with kindness I started to breath more deeply. The tightness eased a little. I need to practice this more often
I felt a sense of relief going in and nurturing my intense grief. The relief I know came because I felt supported instead of alone or abandoned.
A sense of release comes from accepting/welcoming emotions with kindness. Love the wings metaphor as it’s one that feels true to the idea of taking flight after getting out of the trance. The metaphor is one I will remember. Thank you!
Grateful ~ Thank you
I think that this video has helped me realise that I don’t treat myself with kindness. I treat myself the way that childhood trauma taught me that I deserve to be treated. Thank you for your words 🙂
I use an affirmation from Thich Nat Hahn that states I am vaster than my emotions. I’m able to hold, love and protect my emotions.
I can breathe a little easier…introduce kindness into my suffering.
ACCEPTING FEELINGS AND LIVING WITH IT
it brings relaxation and forgiveness
So many things, I felt my fear of having hope that something I am doing will help. I felt a heaviness, than I felt relief knowing that yet again I can give myself permission to love myself now, not later. Just as I am.
Aware of a sadness for my lovely niece who is experiencing a mental crisis.
Embracing this sadness with compassion.
Martin mc Donagh,
Galway,
IRELAND
At the moment I was feeling quite relaxed, so there were no strong emotion, which is not my normal state of being. But when I thought of bringing kindness within, I felt a wave of tenderness and love.
I became calmer
What a beautiful being you are God bless you ?❤️
A tiny bit of relief, when I accepted it doesn’t feel good to dislike myself, i.e. the admission in itself brought relief I mean.
I’m just coming to realize how difficult it is for me to offer kindness to myself.
My immediate feeling was of sadness when I gave myself space to think/feel what’s going on for me……my habitual tears welled up ……when I gave my self an iota of kindness that wounded place didn’t feel quite so alone and my welling of tears levelled out and I calmed.
When I asked what I felt inside, I felt that I was made of “stuff.” I didn’t feel anything but like a pile of stuff.
Then when I sat with that feeling, I didn’t feel a change. I told myself, “It’s ok to just be stuff.” But I don’t believe that I’m just stuff, so I look forward to the next session!
Btw, I’m neither depressed nor struggling. I do feel I want more out of my life, feel more of a purpose.
This was eye-opening. I’d never considered what might be underneath my recurring pattern of taking on too much. I appreciate the gentle way Tara approached the issue of hidden feelings of unworthiness.
Bringing compassion and kindness to my strong feeling softened it.
Instead of resting and meditating or just getting still, I ate
did not enjoy what I ate, and felt sick in the stomach
did not want to keep going on this way
so much therapy over the years and no more highs and no more
intoxication from meditation
all the distractions do not work anymore
I have been pinging from thought to thought, thing to thing in stress and confusion, doing everything I can to avoid feeling anything. I’ve been unable to make decisions or tell anyone how bad this really is for me.
When I closed my eyes and really tuned in to how I was feeling, it was fear. Fear of a couple of frightening medical diagnoses, fear of my forgetfulness – of losing my mind. Fear of some big life decisions now that my husband has died.
So trying to bring kindness to that, just for a moment, helped me validate my feelings instead of feeling defective for having them. A lttle bit of that burden has lifted for now. Thank you and I’m so glad my friend sent this to me.
I feel my inner tension and start seeing the little child which tries so much to be seen and loved and I feel compassion for myself trying so much to do the heavy never ending rat race unable to say: “It’s enough. I am allowed to stop and live what I am longing for.”
Even though I have a list of insecurities, I also have a list of tools and I can see how far I’ve come. I’m making progress. I’m teachable. I’m improving.
Wow that was so powerful, thank you, it was like you were me!
So i felt fear and when i tried to approach with kindness i got more frightened, i could feel myself curl up tighter, hide in the corner, shrink and push the kindness away, i didn’t want it, maybe i didn’t deserve it. But then i realised that actually i didn’t trust it. I felt the kindness wasn’t real, wasn’t genuine, that it was luring my defences down then it would mock me, abandon me and leave me in pieces. It makes sense now why my reaction is often “attack dog”… I’m always so terrified of being vulnerable.
Thank you for helping me believe i might one day be free from this tyranny xxx
Thank you, this video had a strong impact on me. The outwardly successful, contained professional person with so much inner turmoil & unhappiness you described was …. me. When I tried to bring kindness to my discomfort I resisted for less than a second but then gave space for my sadness. I wanted to let go of my fear, dysfunction to feel healing, whole & happy. It was a lovely feeling. Thank you
Working to bring justice and kindness to the community, and working to increase kindness and self kindness
I noticed that my breathing relaxed somewhat and I was breathing more deeply down into Diaphragmatic breathing rather than the surface chest breathing that I revert to when stressed and tense.
Thank you and humbled
Great message!
I started crying. It’s so simple yet so difficult to remember to be kind to myself.
I was not experiencing any negative feelings, due to accomplishments of the day. I did feel calmer and need to remember to deep breathe more often!
Where is the link to transcript or closed captions? This is not accessible to deaf and hard of hearing.
I also looked for and have been unable to find….
Thank you, when I softened I began to cry as a release. It’s ok to feel the sadness rather than stifle it as something to be ashamed or deny it
thanks for your comment I have a difficult time allowing my deep
the sadness which is often fatigue from a lot of healing work and
having too many expectations of where it would all go,
sometimes you get down deep and it’s not what you were hoping
would be the end of the dark night of the soul
crying helps and being aware of what is happening help
I was feeling resistance toward all the things I have to do this week. When I brought kindness to it, I felt some of the tension release…and I realized how ‘in the future’ I was living. I was weighing myself down with so many things I have to do in the future that I was passing over the present – Just being here in this moment, focused on what I am doing right now. It felt more doable, and I could let go of some of the future-stress because it’s not happening right now.
First of all excuse me, I’m not fluent english speaking… Well I experienced being discouraged with the weight of 65 years of self unworthiness (since the womb) and trying to change my relation to myself but fighting helplessly to change things… totally caught in the transe of unworthiness. I feel and felt drained of energy, no strength to overcome that mountain on my shoulders and back ! I just have the strong feeling of not being able to get rid of all the nervous tensions and accumulated stress resulting in psychopathological health problems as Psoriasis, gut problems and fibromyalgia. I’m overstressed since years, not friend with myself. How to look at myself friendly in a mirror ?
I felt like it was possible for me, but that I was also feeling dispassionate and disconnected. (Perhaps it’s just too much screen time today.) I’m familiar with your work, return to it often, and it continues to help me. Thank you for making this.