Thank you, Tara, for the notion that the waves belong with the ocean (how could it be otherwise) as it helps with allowing and accepting the challenges in our lives. Then we can connect with the still depths of the ocean in our heart space.
Thank you always for your generous sharing.
I could feel the knot on my throat dissolve and some warmth spread through my chest. Amazing. The power of Tara’s words is indeed real. Thank you for sharing this video. I have had a recent loss and the guilt associated with it has made me seek out your Tara’s videos on loss. They have been tremendously helpful. Greetings from Portugal.
As I moved from the head to the heart space, I reframed the blame and became kinder, gentler and empathetic and this decreased the blame. I felt lighter and somewhat comforted!
Thank you Tara, I deeply admire you and thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences! They help us learn and heal!
Thank you for showing this way to work toward self acceptance, and move toward healing. It will take some time for me to get to healing, but I am on the path, and keep pulling myself back on it, as the awareness grows. Thank you again.
Marilyn Brende, Occupational Therapy, UKIAH, CA, USAsays
Where do I shoot the 2nd arrow? I shoot it at my throat chakra and become silent- unwilling to defend or express my truth. I then shoot another arrow at my heart chakra and I bleed as I am a sensitive with thin skin.
How am I falling short? At 4′,11″, I am short so I tend to think of myself as falling short. My mother was a statuesque 5’10”. She would say, “don’t worry; you will grow” but she was the one who was worried. I just never measured up.
I am willing to watch out for triggers by others and learn to speak my truth with no fear of the waves. By toughening my skin into a sort of armor, my arrows will no longer penetrate into the region of the heart chakra but my offerings of kindness and compassion will.
Thank you for this exercise. I felt my anger and pain shifting as I accepted them as being part of me, and not pushing the away. I feel more at ease and can breathe better.
I very much appreciate the idea of completing the three steps. However, just as with the Nuture component of the Rain process you so well advocate, it is still not possible to break through the many years pattern of negative self judgment and develop compassion for myself.
Over the years – and there have been many, since I am 93 years old – I have learned to become more heart-centered, and I do believe turning toward love, compassion and kindness will be the resolution for ourselves and others. Now I still have to work toward making this insight a real, and applicable way I might follow, and find out how it’s possible to apply it under different circumstances.
I can relate myself to these 2 buddha’s two arrows theory…I can feel my vulnerability by putting my hands on my heart but same time its helping to take the layers of fear which has been there for far to long.
I had a present life situation going on in between reading Jack Kornfield’s “Consistent Visitors” in A Path with Heart. Then I listened to your Heartspace exerecise. In the real time situation, my husband chose not to wait for me to run an errand that I wanted to join him on. That left me feeling abandoned as my mother used to do when I was a child. Then I went to sitting in Kornfield’s Mindfulness and gently saying “Abandonment” with every out breath. As Kornfield said it would, the feeling lessened. I don’t remember ever blaming the “other” for my feelings but rather tried to understand why they would have done what they did. I remained quiet when my husband returned. But with a bit of silence and without any prepping he started telling me how sad he was that some men in town had recently lost their wives. For him, I think that was an apology and a valuing of me. He is an engineer and has difficulty accessing his feelings so I do interpret. The lesson for me was to Pause and not be reactive. In this case it allowed space for my husband to reveal his thoughts and help me understand, in part, our love for each other. Amazing! Thanks
This is very helpful to me. I could feel a physical and emotional release just listening to your words and placing a hand on my heart. Very healing. Thank you Tara for sharing your wisdom.
This has come at such and
a perfect time and letting go of blame and making judgment on how wrong the person was helped me see her pain and have compassion for her.
We both were being true to ourself and needed to be ok even if this means we can’t work together.
And having an open heart will allow something new to come in that fits better
Hi, a very useful perspective on principles I had learned from others. It was akin to seeing them for the first time. The tools, such as self touch and kind language, including tone of voice, are effective here. Getting into heart space is good. I’ve found that doing so sure seems to help for quicker recovery from the second dart, and as the image indicated, perchance stopping it before it is released. As Toastmaster friend says, “practice, takes practice.”
I felt upset at how i was feeling about myself but then as i put my hand on my heart I felt that calmness again. It felt really good. I like the two arrow visual. That helps with understanding.
I was blaming myself for all that was going wrong in my relationship. The words were I’m not good enough, just a disappointment…
as I went to heart, I sense a sinking feeling in my stomach and pain in my heart.
I placed a hand on it and acknowledged that feeling and its effect and was drawn to giving myself a hug… and acceptance. I felt that space you mentioned!
Thank you!
I saw myself as a little girl always trying to be perfect at school and of how I used to cry when I made mistakes in my lessons.
That made me more compassionate with myself now because I realize I still have those tendencies so many years later
Thank you! Very interesting and beautiful metaphors (arrows, ocean, waves) and very relaxing exercise ( mind – heart and heart space), like a sweet remember of who I am and how much I love life. Thank you, again.
Thank you for this sharing…
My blaming myself for feeling abandoned as a child, the pain from that realization
really unlocked and released my sadness…thank you…
The exercise helped me remember that I am not my thoughts. I was able to bring a soft, gentle awareness and comfort, in contrast to the harsh self-judgment of the second arrow.
I felt real warmth flooding from the ocean to the painful contraction in my heart. Opening up to the soothing of the warm ocean, the pain of the contraction of the warm dissolved in joyful energy. I experienced the love of the ocean which I can now see to be my true Self. Thank you, Tara , for your loving and dedicated work. May the benefits return to you thousand fold!
I’ve been feeling lost, underqualified, and overwhelmed in my new role at work, and this has been manifesting through this knotted twisted feeling in my stomach and chest. When I did the practice earlier, I told myself that it is okay to not know everything yet and not be excellent yet at this early point where I am at the start of the learning curve. I told myself that I recognize my efforts and that it is enough for now. I feel a little bit more positive now, a litte bit more hopeful.
I recognised the blame I was placing on myself today, and how this was not helping. Moving into the body, I sensed increased speed of heart, to which I whispered: “you’re loved”. Resting in heartspace, I felt things ease internally, slowing down, loosening tension, like I was able to house all the feelings, like I was watching an ocean as a welcoming space for all its waves – a wonderful image formed of this. I must remind myself of the two arrow metaphor, it is useful. Always feel so much more whole after listening to your wisdom, Tara – thank you. Also, your course on RAIN is wonderful – I’ve completed it twice and may return for a third.
Thank you Tara, once again I am learning so much from your teachings. When moving from head to heart to heart space, I really felt the space open up and I did indeed soften, this is such a good description of the feeling. I recognised what I was feeling (afraid the other will think I’m not interesting/boring) and applied kind words to myself, I spoke as I would to another with these fears, and it worked, it really helped! It was ok to feel this way. Then, I realised I was still in the ocean, I hadn’t jumped on the wave and sped off! Deep gratitude. Looking forward to video 3. Namaste
I’m feeling unworthy because my family and friends betrayed me. I found out that they’ve been lying to me since I was a child and that what they made me believe about myself wasn’t real but aimed at harm me as they brought me up as a human experiment. That meant that I was exposed to traumatic experiences all my life, I endured sexual abuse since I was a child. Everywhere I go now there’s men raping me or wanting to. I’m feeling fearful, tired and I blame myself for not having realised before. PTSD makes me less smart than I normally am and I’m feeling impatient, I hate myself for not realising before and because I loved people who didn’t love me, and I’m forcing myself not to love them anymore but I don’t know how to unlove. And I blame myself for not unloving. There’s shame around the sexual abuses endured. I can’t have sex with the person I’m in love with because of the pain and feeling unworthy. I’m angry with him, I’m angry with the whole world for having been a human experiment. I don’t want to be a human experiment. I’m a human being with my own rights and dignity. I want the world to acknowledge it and save my life.
The exercise allowed me to express myself. This is the first time that I make contact with how I’m feeling and my heart space
Francesca, I wanted to say thank you for sharing your story. It takes great courage to speak our truth out into the universe. I am sorry for the suffering you have endured, and I am in awe at your strength at having endured for all these many years. By sharing your story you have declaired your right to dignity, to respect, and to live with peace and joy, this is a gift that you give to yourself, your past no longer has the power to define you, other people no longer have the power to define you. You have the ability to release the patterns of harmful behaviour you experienced from others and how they have mistreated you, not in a harsh way or a hateful way, but with compassion for yourself and love in your heart. Continue to honour your feelings, and building your heart space, your courage will heal you, and it will heal others. I feel truly blessed to have the opportunity to know this small part of your journey. Humbly I wish you all the best. Suzanne
I cried because I rediscovered the feeling of being me.
Thank you, Tara, for the notion that the waves belong with the ocean (how could it be otherwise) as it helps with allowing and accepting the challenges in our lives. Then we can connect with the still depths of the ocean in our heart space.
Thank you always for your generous sharing.
I could feel the knot on my throat dissolve and some warmth spread through my chest. Amazing. The power of Tara’s words is indeed real. Thank you for sharing this video. I have had a recent loss and the guilt associated with it has made me seek out your Tara’s videos on loss. They have been tremendously helpful. Greetings from Portugal.
As I moved from the head to the heart space, I reframed the blame and became kinder, gentler and empathetic and this decreased the blame. I felt lighter and somewhat comforted!
Thank you Tara, I deeply admire you and thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences! They help us learn and heal!
Thank you for showing this way to work toward self acceptance, and move toward healing. It will take some time for me to get to healing, but I am on the path, and keep pulling myself back on it, as the awareness grows. Thank you again.
Where do I shoot the 2nd arrow? I shoot it at my throat chakra and become silent- unwilling to defend or express my truth. I then shoot another arrow at my heart chakra and I bleed as I am a sensitive with thin skin.
How am I falling short? At 4′,11″, I am short so I tend to think of myself as falling short. My mother was a statuesque 5’10”. She would say, “don’t worry; you will grow” but she was the one who was worried. I just never measured up.
I am willing to watch out for triggers by others and learn to speak my truth with no fear of the waves. By toughening my skin into a sort of armor, my arrows will no longer penetrate into the region of the heart chakra but my offerings of kindness and compassion will.
Thank you for this exercise. I felt my anger and pain shifting as I accepted them as being part of me, and not pushing the away. I feel more at ease and can breathe better.
I very much appreciate the idea of completing the three steps. However, just as with the Nuture component of the Rain process you so well advocate, it is still not possible to break through the many years pattern of negative self judgment and develop compassion for myself.
Jim, I feel like that too….. struggling to make the breakthrough. I do, however, keep working at opening my heart space, regardless.
Over the years – and there have been many, since I am 93 years old – I have learned to become more heart-centered, and I do believe turning toward love, compassion and kindness will be the resolution for ourselves and others. Now I still have to work toward making this insight a real, and applicable way I might follow, and find out how it’s possible to apply it under different circumstances.
I can relate myself to these 2 buddha’s two arrows theory…I can feel my vulnerability by putting my hands on my heart but same time its helping to take the layers of fear which has been there for far to long.
I had a present life situation going on in between reading Jack Kornfield’s “Consistent Visitors” in A Path with Heart. Then I listened to your Heartspace exerecise. In the real time situation, my husband chose not to wait for me to run an errand that I wanted to join him on. That left me feeling abandoned as my mother used to do when I was a child. Then I went to sitting in Kornfield’s Mindfulness and gently saying “Abandonment” with every out breath. As Kornfield said it would, the feeling lessened. I don’t remember ever blaming the “other” for my feelings but rather tried to understand why they would have done what they did. I remained quiet when my husband returned. But with a bit of silence and without any prepping he started telling me how sad he was that some men in town had recently lost their wives. For him, I think that was an apology and a valuing of me. He is an engineer and has difficulty accessing his feelings so I do interpret. The lesson for me was to Pause and not be reactive. In this case it allowed space for my husband to reveal his thoughts and help me understand, in part, our love for each other. Amazing! Thanks
This is very helpful to me. I could feel a physical and emotional release just listening to your words and placing a hand on my heart. Very healing. Thank you Tara for sharing your wisdom.
THANK YOU FOR OFFERING THESE KIND WORDS OF WISDOM. I have listened to this section three times because it has many pearls of wisdom. Thank you.
This has come at such and
a perfect time and letting go of blame and making judgment on how wrong the person was helped me see her pain and have compassion for her.
We both were being true to ourself and needed to be ok even if this means we can’t work together.
And having an open heart will allow something new to come in that fits better
Hi, a very useful perspective on principles I had learned from others. It was akin to seeing them for the first time. The tools, such as self touch and kind language, including tone of voice, are effective here. Getting into heart space is good. I’ve found that doing so sure seems to help for quicker recovery from the second dart, and as the image indicated, perchance stopping it before it is released. As Toastmaster friend says, “practice, takes practice.”
I realize that this is what I need to do to stop the struggeling.
I felt upset at how i was feeling about myself but then as i put my hand on my heart I felt that calmness again. It felt really good. I like the two arrow visual. That helps with understanding.
Relieved that I can feel insecure and not pretend that I don’t. Touching my face and heart provided reassurance that I am ok not matter how I feel.
My mind chatter faded, and when I placed my hand on my heart I experienced my heart expanding and I was in rhythm with the universe.
I was blaming myself for all that was going wrong in my relationship. The words were I’m not good enough, just a disappointment…
as I went to heart, I sense a sinking feeling in my stomach and pain in my heart.
I placed a hand on it and acknowledged that feeling and its effect and was drawn to giving myself a hug… and acceptance. I felt that space you mentioned!
Thank you!
I am the ocean and the waves. All is well.
I felt the truth in my heart (love) and the thought escaped me.
I saw myself as a little girl always trying to be perfect at school and of how I used to cry when I made mistakes in my lessons.
That made me more compassionate with myself now because I realize I still have those tendencies so many years later
Realising that facing yourself… is the face of presence
Thank you Tara. I felt myself being kinder to myself about some annoying somewhat small medical issues. Good stuff.
a hard thing for me to do. I felt like I could just touch it on the corner..and that was somewhat diffusing of the negative thoughts
I was abused as a child and beyond. This comes back.to me, the trauma, often.
True for many.
Traumatized as a child. Relived the trauma.
Thank you! Very interesting and beautiful metaphors (arrows, ocean, waves) and very relaxing exercise ( mind – heart and heart space), like a sweet remember of who I am and how much I love life. Thank you, again.
Wow!!!
Thank you for this sharing…
My blaming myself for feeling abandoned as a child, the pain from that realization
really unlocked and released my sadness…thank you…
This is a profound shift!
Thank you very much:) I can’t wait to practice it!
Pathway to radical acceptance of myself and my experiences.
First tears and then I was relieved. Still, not easy to detect the second arrow.
The exercise helped me remember that I am not my thoughts. I was able to bring a soft, gentle awareness and comfort, in contrast to the harsh self-judgment of the second arrow.
A great experience of abundance and fulfilment
I realized how often I tell myself ‘I know better, and I am bad’. Yikes! The visual of the 2nd arrow is very helpful. Time to leave it in the sheath.
A great feeling of relief and relaxation. Thank you.
I felt real warmth flooding from the ocean to the painful contraction in my heart. Opening up to the soothing of the warm ocean, the pain of the contraction of the warm dissolved in joyful energy. I experienced the love of the ocean which I can now see to be my true Self. Thank you, Tara , for your loving and dedicated work. May the benefits return to you thousand fold!
I experienced a softening. A not so harsh way of connecting to my hurt. Maybe even acceptance of feeling less then. A less judgement.
I’ve been feeling lost, underqualified, and overwhelmed in my new role at work, and this has been manifesting through this knotted twisted feeling in my stomach and chest. When I did the practice earlier, I told myself that it is okay to not know everything yet and not be excellent yet at this early point where I am at the start of the learning curve. I told myself that I recognize my efforts and that it is enough for now. I feel a little bit more positive now, a litte bit more hopeful.
I recognised the blame I was placing on myself today, and how this was not helping. Moving into the body, I sensed increased speed of heart, to which I whispered: “you’re loved”. Resting in heartspace, I felt things ease internally, slowing down, loosening tension, like I was able to house all the feelings, like I was watching an ocean as a welcoming space for all its waves – a wonderful image formed of this. I must remind myself of the two arrow metaphor, it is useful. Always feel so much more whole after listening to your wisdom, Tara – thank you. Also, your course on RAIN is wonderful – I’ve completed it twice and may return for a third.
With warm appreciation.
I feel useless
my body went from rigid to relaxed
Tears. I shoot the 2nd arrow at myself frequently. Practicing the steps allowed me to release the judgement and self blame.
Head to heart to heart space is very helpful. I get it a bit more. It does create a space.
Thank you Tara, once again I am learning so much from your teachings. When moving from head to heart to heart space, I really felt the space open up and I did indeed soften, this is such a good description of the feeling. I recognised what I was feeling (afraid the other will think I’m not interesting/boring) and applied kind words to myself, I spoke as I would to another with these fears, and it worked, it really helped! It was ok to feel this way. Then, I realised I was still in the ocean, I hadn’t jumped on the wave and sped off! Deep gratitude. Looking forward to video 3. Namaste
Its freeing me up and allows me to make connection with myself and others
This has so helped to identify what I do to cause my feelings of blame and frustration. Thank you’
Thé physical weight of feeling like its all never enough, I’ll never measure up or catch up to all there is to do in my stomach and chest lightened.
I’m feeling unworthy because my family and friends betrayed me. I found out that they’ve been lying to me since I was a child and that what they made me believe about myself wasn’t real but aimed at harm me as they brought me up as a human experiment. That meant that I was exposed to traumatic experiences all my life, I endured sexual abuse since I was a child. Everywhere I go now there’s men raping me or wanting to. I’m feeling fearful, tired and I blame myself for not having realised before. PTSD makes me less smart than I normally am and I’m feeling impatient, I hate myself for not realising before and because I loved people who didn’t love me, and I’m forcing myself not to love them anymore but I don’t know how to unlove. And I blame myself for not unloving. There’s shame around the sexual abuses endured. I can’t have sex with the person I’m in love with because of the pain and feeling unworthy. I’m angry with him, I’m angry with the whole world for having been a human experiment. I don’t want to be a human experiment. I’m a human being with my own rights and dignity. I want the world to acknowledge it and save my life.
The exercise allowed me to express myself. This is the first time that I make contact with how I’m feeling and my heart space
Francesca, I wanted to say thank you for sharing your story. It takes great courage to speak our truth out into the universe. I am sorry for the suffering you have endured, and I am in awe at your strength at having endured for all these many years. By sharing your story you have declaired your right to dignity, to respect, and to live with peace and joy, this is a gift that you give to yourself, your past no longer has the power to define you, other people no longer have the power to define you. You have the ability to release the patterns of harmful behaviour you experienced from others and how they have mistreated you, not in a harsh way or a hateful way, but with compassion for yourself and love in your heart. Continue to honour your feelings, and building your heart space, your courage will heal you, and it will heal others. I feel truly blessed to have the opportunity to know this small part of your journey. Humbly I wish you all the best. Suzanne
I hope you are elevating your self worth and esteem. Look at how you can yourself! I’m inspired. Thank you.