I felt a sense of mild anxiety in my chest/heart. I tried to nurture and speak gently to that experience.
I think I need a lot more practice.
Intellectually I ‘get’ it, what I really need is to feel it. Ie: self compassion.
Teresa Fantasia, Teacher, San Clemente, CA, USAsays
When I started telling myself it’s OK to have anxiety, it made me start to reflect on where my anxiety comes from. It comes from being a child that never felt safe. Realizing this, gave me more empathy and compassion for myself. It’s not my fault that I have anxiety, so why should I be angry at myself for having it?
I never got to step 3. But I did see for the first time the connection between my shame —> self-condemnation and the physical feelings that haunt me from past sexual abuse/sexual assault. The moment I allowed myself to let the thoughts and feelings in of shame and self-blame, I felt the violating touches / feelings over several places on my body. Not quite sure where to go from here.
Nancy Markum, Another Field, San Antonio, TX, USAsays
All people want to feel needed, wanted and loved. But no one can feel this need be cause they are human. For me I can find peace when I have negative feelings by knowing God loves me and does not judge me. That lets me be kind to myself and let go.
I really felt myself open up with compassion to myself, in an area where I’ve held myself up to harsh judgement to know all the answers, and have all the “right” feelings. Thank you for helping me create that space, and allowing myself to be on a journey of learning and feeling.
I was aware of tension and then a release of tension which felt very peaceful. Then a sense of regret that perhaps I could have saved a relationship in the past if I had these tools then – but it takes two and they didn’t want to save the relationship. Then a wish that my daughter would learn this but I can’t make her. I hope the peaceful release feeling can last longer the more I practice this.
Head to heart seemed easier than heart to heart space. I seem more able to apply this to others than to myself. I imagine that that heart space needs time in mindfulness to grow.
This one really hit home for me. I particularly appreciated the question to ask myself if self judgement was serving me because ultimately it isn’t. Thanks Tara for all your work.
I spoke to myself in the same tone that a good friend would’ve spoken to me when I was a child. I used my name that she would use to myself and reassured myself that I was safe in the kind tones that friend would’ve used when I was scared that I wouldn’t cross a step due to my vision impairment when we were playing as children
This is a real tough one for me since I hold a lot of fear and blame so I look forward to trying to work at this approach. I do feel it will take it will take a lot of practice to gain heartsease.
Lori Jo Jamieson, Other, Phillipsburg, NJ, USAsays
I was surprised to hear what sounded like my mom’s voice (in tone as much as words) telling me I was a “bad girl.” This was hard to sit with, but I answered back that it wasn’t true, and that I was tired of hearing it. That response gave me strength.
When I moved from my head to my heart, I noticed that at a space opened up. At first, it hurt and there was a tightness in the heart space. I told myself, “I am here for you” and then “you do not have to believe these thoughts, they are just thoughts” over and over again. And slowly, I began to calm down and feel the space expand. I felt much better.
I am scared to feel the fear and blame in my heart. Seems I dun want to touch them. But I know I need to carry this wave in my ocean. Thanks for the reminders and I truly like to analogy of waves and ocean.
It was good, it really made me stop and think. I find it incredibly hard to do this before lashing out (verbally).
I try to be more aware of what is going on and think before I speak.
Anyone else find it hard in the heat of the moment?
My mind shifted out of thinking and relaxed quite a lot and I felt the golden glow of healing energy like a halo, which is quite palpable for me when I do healing intentions for others. Thank you for helping me apply tis to myself!
It helped me process a recent experience in which I felt I had been unkind to someone because I hadn’t thought ahead about what needed to be said. It also helped me to know that the person had brought up my feelings of inadequacy, and I had not been able to process them appropriately. I realize that I need to sit with my feelings and truly feel them before I say something to someone else.
Anonymous from Missouri
I got to experience how incredibly grateful I am for this kind practice and the way you present it. Thank you ?
And I also noticed a third arrow – judging that I was judging my experience. I guess the mind can layer it infinity. But I met the second/third arrow with kindness and remember that arrows arrive spontaneously and the fact that they arrive doesn’t reflect badly on me. They are just thoughts – old habits. Then kindness arrives on it’s own.
AMAZING! THANK YOU SO MUCH Tara! I can’t stop crying to see how hard I can be to my self and how I can give my self care by holding on to my vulnerabilities with love and care- thank you very much
A deep sadness that I still cannot give myself the compassion you speak about. Cannot let go of perfection in my tasks and just do them for the joy of doing them. But , like others, I will continue to do the exercise, understanding that it takes time to undo 77 years of conditioning.
I felt a calming because I realized there is love for me coming from the universe. I felt I can’t be this bad person I think I am if that kind of love is there for me.
I felt a sense of mild anxiety in my chest/heart. I tried to nurture and speak gently to that experience.
I think I need a lot more practice.
Intellectually I ‘get’ it, what I really need is to feel it. Ie: self compassion.
When I started telling myself it’s OK to have anxiety, it made me start to reflect on where my anxiety comes from. It comes from being a child that never felt safe. Realizing this, gave me more empathy and compassion for myself. It’s not my fault that I have anxiety, so why should I be angry at myself for having it?
I never got to step 3. But I did see for the first time the connection between my shame —> self-condemnation and the physical feelings that haunt me from past sexual abuse/sexual assault. The moment I allowed myself to let the thoughts and feelings in of shame and self-blame, I felt the violating touches / feelings over several places on my body. Not quite sure where to go from here.
Love this and please send me a copy or link as disclosed.
All people want to feel needed, wanted and loved. But no one can feel this need be cause they are human. For me I can find peace when I have negative feelings by knowing God loves me and does not judge me. That lets me be kind to myself and let go.
Ebb out of tightness, wash in of gentle care.
I really felt myself open up with compassion to myself, in an area where I’ve held myself up to harsh judgement to know all the answers, and have all the “right” feelings. Thank you for helping me create that space, and allowing myself to be on a journey of learning and feeling.
…thank you. Letting go of self-judgement releases the heavy stress of feeling inadequate.
I was aware of tension and then a release of tension which felt very peaceful. Then a sense of regret that perhaps I could have saved a relationship in the past if I had these tools then – but it takes two and they didn’t want to save the relationship. Then a wish that my daughter would learn this but I can’t make her. I hope the peaceful release feeling can last longer the more I practice this.
So simple to hear… asnd so deeply transforming! Thank you!
Thank you so much!!!! When I can release all these thoughts it feels so good!
I felt sadness along with calm. Thank you Tara.
Thank you.
It brought tears to my eyes. Beautiful, heavenly and healing tears.
Yours
B.B.
Releasing judgment feels freeing but will take practice! Thank you.
I found myself becoming quite emotional during this practice – and so my healing journey begins…
Head to heart seemed easier than heart to heart space. I seem more able to apply this to others than to myself. I imagine that that heart space needs time in mindfulness to grow.
This one really hit home for me. I particularly appreciated the question to ask myself if self judgement was serving me because ultimately it isn’t. Thanks Tara for all your work.
I spoke to myself in the same tone that a good friend would’ve spoken to me when I was a child. I used my name that she would use to myself and reassured myself that I was safe in the kind tones that friend would’ve used when I was scared that I wouldn’t cross a step due to my vision impairment when we were playing as children
first video was good. felt sincere
music on second and last video was distracting
I definitely felt a shift from head to heart. What seemed most helpful was the kind words I said out loud to myself, putting my hand on my heart.
This is challenging as self-blame is so engrained. Trying to get to heart and heart space made my eyes burn with tears.
It was hard for me as the progression went too fast. I will remember to try it when I next experience self judgement. Thank you.
This is a real tough one for me since I hold a lot of fear and blame so I look forward to trying to work at this approach. I do feel it will take it will take a lot of practice to gain heartsease.
I placed my hand on my heart & comforted myself with kind, soothing words of forgiveness. I felt empowered & at ease.
I will need more practice to reach heartspace
I pictured the adult person I am hugging myself back! Never did that before in my mind’s eye. It was a tender embrace!
I need more time to experiment those exercices but seem interesting.
I was surprised to hear what sounded like my mom’s voice (in tone as much as words) telling me I was a “bad girl.” This was hard to sit with, but I answered back that it wasn’t true, and that I was tired of hearing it. That response gave me strength.
When I moved from my head to my heart, I noticed that at a space opened up. At first, it hurt and there was a tightness in the heart space. I told myself, “I am here for you” and then “you do not have to believe these thoughts, they are just thoughts” over and over again. And slowly, I began to calm down and feel the space expand. I felt much better.
I was feeling rather “tight” all round when I started and found it hard to relax and open up . . .
The moment got much lighter.
I am scared to feel the fear and blame in my heart. Seems I dun want to touch them. But I know I need to carry this wave in my ocean. Thanks for the reminders and I truly like to analogy of waves and ocean.
It was good, it really made me stop and think. I find it incredibly hard to do this before lashing out (verbally).
I try to be more aware of what is going on and think before I speak.
Anyone else find it hard in the heat of the moment?
I’m with you about that
Definitely I find it very hard when my anger flares to lashing out verbally. It is like it happens in a split second.
My heart started to physically ache.
My mind shifted out of thinking and relaxed quite a lot and I felt the golden glow of healing energy like a halo, which is quite palpable for me when I do healing intentions for others. Thank you for helping me apply tis to myself!
It helped me process a recent experience in which I felt I had been unkind to someone because I hadn’t thought ahead about what needed to be said. It also helped me to know that the person had brought up my feelings of inadequacy, and I had not been able to process them appropriately. I realize that I need to sit with my feelings and truly feel them before I say something to someone else.
Anonymous from Missouri
direct sensation on the back of my neck and then a corresponding thought to comfort that area
Thank you I found opening up to awareness around blame and harsh judgement enabled the next step of calming this and allowing compassion.
I got to experience how incredibly grateful I am for this kind practice and the way you present it. Thank you ?
And I also noticed a third arrow – judging that I was judging my experience. I guess the mind can layer it infinity. But I met the second/third arrow with kindness and remember that arrows arrive spontaneously and the fact that they arrive doesn’t reflect badly on me. They are just thoughts – old habits. Then kindness arrives on it’s own.
Deep memories of tender moments with others.
The exercise was very helpful Thank You
I did the exercise and I felt like I could truly say Hello I love you to/ from my heart
AMAZING! THANK YOU SO MUCH Tara! I can’t stop crying to see how hard I can be to my self and how I can give my self care by holding on to my vulnerabilities with love and care- thank you very much
A deep sadness that I still cannot give myself the compassion you speak about. Cannot let go of perfection in my tasks and just do them for the joy of doing them. But , like others, I will continue to do the exercise, understanding that it takes time to undo 77 years of conditioning.
well said
I agree
A better understanding
I felt a deep sense of compassion and love for myself.
I felt a calming because I realized there is love for me coming from the universe. I felt I can’t be this bad person I think I am if that kind of love is there for me.
Release of emotion and space
It allowed me feel the emotion and release it. I felt much lighter afterwards.
I appreciate you, Tara, and I’m grateful to have the time and space, to practice these new patterns of behavior.
I know it may take time to replace older and ineffective reactions and behaviors. I’m in it for the long haul?