I would be freer from the pressures I put myself under, to overwork and be the perfect mum, and daughter, wife and friend. I could be more relaxed in my approach to all these things, more able to be gentle with myself, stop when I need to and give myself time and fuel to get from one thing to the next
I loved the question: who would I be if I could let go of judgement and chronic blame?
Although the practice of self compassion creates difficult emotions, I am feeling the more I practice, the more compassionate I feel towards others?
Was able to think of a long-standing situation of being careful and having boundaries with a family member, but revisiting vulnerability of the other person, as well as myself every time there is necessary contact with that person for business reasons.
Thank you?a very gentle approach to reconciliation with self and others, the importance of acknowledging and validating your own hurts and pains first which allows you to also recognize and validate those in others.
Thank you for this time of healing and moving forward with compassion and love??
Thank you Tara. When I think about the trap the person who hurt me is in, I can feel compassion but then this remove the compassion I feel for myself…because I feel if they don’t know any better then I should be more understanding and not get hurt by their behaviors…so I blame myself for that…I don’t know how to break that cycle…and allow for both to exist at the same time
Doing the “U turn” helped me see the other person’s pain and vulnerability which I normally cant see, because I’ve been triggered. I can see myself using this practice a lot. Thank you.
Robert Williams, Social Work, Poughkeepsie, NY, USAsays
worry about the past and how we let that go in the present, our thoughts and actions that may have been hurtful to ourselves and others.
Enjoy this program very much. Thank you
It is very freeing to allow oneself to experience one’s feelings of hurt and anger and to show compassion and understanding to oneself instead of using the self judgement and blame options which keep one trapped with those feelings. Thank you for your wise and giving spirit which you have shared with us in these videos.
I am now, thanks to you Tara, on the path of letting go of self-blame and guilt, and although the path is fraught with difficulties, I am starting to be my true self and feel more and more comfortable in my own skin. In today’s video, you talk about a young boy who is sensitive and artistic like his mother, however, his father wanted him to be a ‘real’ man. This resonated tremendously with me and the relationship I had with my father when I was growing up, and realised his own father, my grandfather, had great difficulty showing his feelings to my father. Unexpectedly I burst into tears of real sadness, and it came as quite a surprise and release. I now know I am being far more considerate and gentle with myself and although at present it feels odd, I also feel more my own person in the decisions that I am starting to make. Thank you so much, John.
Deep gratitude for sharing these materials with an extended community and your role to help so many healing. I’m interested in the programme and would love to receive the video too. Looking forward to the journeumy!
I found myself flowing with the first part of this practice. But whenever I try the 2nd part, I feel a deep resentment and even anger – so maybe not yet.
All my life I have done the 2nd part of this practice – always finding reason to excuse the Other Person, understanding where They may be coming from, being compassionate towards Them.
And they did the same – excused Themselves, showed Themselves compassion and gave Themselves the benefit of the doubt.
I was never part of the compassion circle I created.
Only recently did I learn to acknowledge my own wounds. And give myself care. And I feel a deep anger that I neglected myself all these years and let others do the same to me.
So the 2nd part of the practice feels like going back to where I am escaping from.
Once again Tara, deep gratitude for the videos of healing.
All 3 resonate with my life practice from childhood- unfortunately so much backfired, my life infected with more brutality, vile actions & contempt toward myself, destruction of personal property & goals in a multitude of ways that I finally were broken.
Thankfully I retained my innate decency, compassion and caution for others – don’t go feral, retaliatory or bitter. I’m past 60 now & most of this variety of abuse began at birth with brief reprieve late 20’s.
I’ve now lost nigh on 20 years trapped in trauma, depression, severe despair & waking dread crevasse.
Thankyou that you helped inadvertently validate the essential caliber of humanity & that I’d retained this despite unwittingly depriving self care, same degrees of compassion & losing much of myself. ?? Vunda
so wonderful! What a heart touching person you are, dear Tara Brach. Thank you so much! I felt really lifted by the videos. Especially the knowledge that is shoot twice against myself, makes me waking up. Do I want that? No! Of course not. I also realized that we get back into this old patterns when we face changes into the unknown. I go with the question: Who am I or wanted to be without self-judgment and blame? ….
I use to be the one with so much compassion for everyone. Saying you don’t know their story, you have not walked in their shoes etc… I can do the seeing the blame, I can even see the u turn and even see why it makes me so sad and angry, then I can even see a bit of compassion for my self. What I am struggling with is the having full compassion for myself and compassion the other person.
I would be free to get closer to the people whose behavior angers or scares me. Judgment is my default in work and personal relationships and even with close friends because it’s easier than dealing with my own feelings of inadequacy.
These brief videos have been thought provoking. What do you do when it is the opposite of blame? When a person who has been abused finds rationalizations which looks like compassion for the behavior of abusive parent but results in the deeply ingrained sense of shame, self worthlessness, & being never enough. Seems like acknowledging the role of the abusive parent may be a prerequisite to move to compassion.
Thanks Tara. I have tonight listened to parts 2 and 3 and, as always when I listen and practice your meditations, I feel rested and at peace in my heart.
I thought of a person that is bullying my partner. I was able to see how this persons behavior is based on her insecurity. It allowed me to calm my anger so I can better comfort my wife.
This video brought me to tears. But I was able to Redirect the pain I felt from my husband. It let me think of the foot-in the trap he might have
That I’ve never thought about. I will let go of self judgement and blame through self compassion. This sounds difficult but I am Willing to try. I need support as I am Bipolar which intensifies my emotions.
Thank you Tara, self compassion and to allow myself the time to feel the feelings, was a big thing for me, not a denial, or a guilty feeling for feeling them. I felt a shift with doing that. I had always tried to see the other person from a hurt place but my own feelings having not being allowed the expression of compassion, stayed in me as anger.. Thank you, I shall be using the U-turn scenario more and more.
Thank you for sharing and taking us on this journey to self-awareness and what needs to change in order live a more open/loving life. Grudge and resentment are powerful variables in destroying relationships and within ourselves. This mindful practice of a u-turn and leg trap scenario place things in perspective!
This is such a worthwhile journey, and really clarifies that becoming mindful is not about tuning out from feelings or circumstances but tuning into them in a healthy way, to seek healing. Thank you.
To have more self reflection feels good …if I let go of judgement and chronic blame I’m sure I’d be happier than some days in this loop x
Thanks for the u turn and leg in a trap scenarios
Thanks so much Tara
Thank you. This concept, internal locus of control with self- compassion, is one I have experienced with clients and myself however, I really enjoyed your two techniques; U- turn and vulnerability. Thank you so much for sharing.
Sue
Thank you Tara, that last video about shifting blame and repairing relationships is very timely for me. I have already been giving a lot of thought towards how to forgive a person who deeply hurt me years ago, someone I love. I had been aware of but hadn’t connected deeply enough with how he is caught in a trap of his own making, i was stuck in needing his apology to be able to move forward. Your exercise allowed me to move past my desire to be respected and apologised to and to connect with his pain and sadness. I am keen not to resource myself and travel than road with him to wherever it leads. Hopefully compassion and connection.
Much more relaxed.
The u turn really helped me to focus on my own feelings. I really liked the practice of self compassion and taking time to be with it.
I would be freeer to live authentically. I organically do this with many others in my life (some times taking more time than others) but I am not so good at turning this inward to deal with my inner blame and judgement and it keeps me living a life much smaller than I am.
I felt a warm and calming feeling when I put my hand on my heart but it was really hard to stop judging myself, I feel like it’s on such a deep-rooted level I don’t hear it I feel it and it makes me anxious..
I would be freer from the pressures I put myself under, to overwork and be the perfect mum, and daughter, wife and friend. I could be more relaxed in my approach to all these things, more able to be gentle with myself, stop when I need to and give myself time and fuel to get from one thing to the next
Loved your guidance towards self-compassion for myself and others. Beautifully simple!
Thank you❤️
I loved the question: who would I be if I could let go of judgement and chronic blame?
Although the practice of self compassion creates difficult emotions, I am feeling the more I practice, the more compassionate I feel towards others?
I would be my most authentic and loving self, to myself and to others.
I can see how this will be useful in my practice. Loving and healing.
Was able to think of a long-standing situation of being careful and having boundaries with a family member, but revisiting vulnerability of the other person, as well as myself every time there is necessary contact with that person for business reasons.
My wise self. Able to to be at ease with time on my own. Doing things I want to do rather than constantly judging my procrastination
i would be less reactive and judgmental toward myself.
Thank you?a very gentle approach to reconciliation with self and others, the importance of acknowledging and validating your own hurts and pains first which allows you to also recognize and validate those in others.
Thank you for this time of healing and moving forward with compassion and love??
Thank you Tara. When I think about the trap the person who hurt me is in, I can feel compassion but then this remove the compassion I feel for myself…because I feel if they don’t know any better then I should be more understanding and not get hurt by their behaviors…so I blame myself for that…I don’t know how to break that cycle…and allow for both to exist at the same time
More confident, more courageous, open. Able to approach people without fear, being more outgoing. Less pressure.
My true loving compassionate self
I could have compassion for myself and my friend. The dog example was great.
Doing the “U turn” helped me see the other person’s pain and vulnerability which I normally cant see, because I’ve been triggered. I can see myself using this practice a lot. Thank you.
That was very helpful. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for the stories, the exercises and the compassion. Very rich experience
Free and have less fear of taking action.
Tears… healing waters… as I surface and catch my breath looking at the beauty around me above and below the sea.
worry about the past and how we let that go in the present, our thoughts and actions that may have been hurtful to ourselves and others.
Enjoy this program very much. Thank you
A being with a more loving and compassionate heart
This was beautiful really helpful
I love your work Tara
Compassion is key
xx
Incredibly practical and helpful! Thank you so very much!
This has brought me deeper into the process in which I am presently engaged. Thank you
It is very freeing to allow oneself to experience one’s feelings of hurt and anger and to show compassion and understanding to oneself instead of using the self judgement and blame options which keep one trapped with those feelings. Thank you for your wise and giving spirit which you have shared with us in these videos.
I am now, thanks to you Tara, on the path of letting go of self-blame and guilt, and although the path is fraught with difficulties, I am starting to be my true self and feel more and more comfortable in my own skin. In today’s video, you talk about a young boy who is sensitive and artistic like his mother, however, his father wanted him to be a ‘real’ man. This resonated tremendously with me and the relationship I had with my father when I was growing up, and realised his own father, my grandfather, had great difficulty showing his feelings to my father. Unexpectedly I burst into tears of real sadness, and it came as quite a surprise and release. I now know I am being far more considerate and gentle with myself and although at present it feels odd, I also feel more my own person in the decisions that I am starting to make. Thank you so much, John.
Deep gratitude for sharing these materials with an extended community and your role to help so many healing. I’m interested in the programme and would love to receive the video too. Looking forward to the journeumy!
I found myself flowing with the first part of this practice. But whenever I try the 2nd part, I feel a deep resentment and even anger – so maybe not yet.
All my life I have done the 2nd part of this practice – always finding reason to excuse the Other Person, understanding where They may be coming from, being compassionate towards Them.
And they did the same – excused Themselves, showed Themselves compassion and gave Themselves the benefit of the doubt.
I was never part of the compassion circle I created.
Only recently did I learn to acknowledge my own wounds. And give myself care. And I feel a deep anger that I neglected myself all these years and let others do the same to me.
So the 2nd part of the practice feels like going back to where I am escaping from.
Once again Tara, deep gratitude for the videos of healing.
All 3 resonate with my life practice from childhood- unfortunately so much backfired, my life infected with more brutality, vile actions & contempt toward myself, destruction of personal property & goals in a multitude of ways that I finally were broken.
Thankfully I retained my innate decency, compassion and caution for others – don’t go feral, retaliatory or bitter. I’m past 60 now & most of this variety of abuse began at birth with brief reprieve late 20’s.
I’ve now lost nigh on 20 years trapped in trauma, depression, severe despair & waking dread crevasse.
Thankyou that you helped inadvertently validate the essential caliber of humanity & that I’d retained this despite unwittingly depriving self care, same degrees of compassion & losing much of myself. ?? Vunda
so wonderful! What a heart touching person you are, dear Tara Brach. Thank you so much! I felt really lifted by the videos. Especially the knowledge that is shoot twice against myself, makes me waking up. Do I want that? No! Of course not. I also realized that we get back into this old patterns when we face changes into the unknown. I go with the question: Who am I or wanted to be without self-judgment and blame? ….
I use to be the one with so much compassion for everyone. Saying you don’t know their story, you have not walked in their shoes etc… I can do the seeing the blame, I can even see the u turn and even see why it makes me so sad and angry, then I can even see a bit of compassion for my self. What I am struggling with is the having full compassion for myself and compassion the other person.
I really have enjoyed these videos and find Tara’s soothing voice very calming. The information she shared has given me steps to help myself.
I loved these videos – I have seen a glimpse of what is it is possible to feel like when freed from the blame and judgement – eventually.
I need Tara’s soothing guidance at times. Thank you.
I would be free to get closer to the people whose behavior angers or scares me. Judgment is my default in work and personal relationships and even with close friends because it’s easier than dealing with my own feelings of inadequacy.
These brief videos have been thought provoking. What do you do when it is the opposite of blame? When a person who has been abused finds rationalizations which looks like compassion for the behavior of abusive parent but results in the deeply ingrained sense of shame, self worthlessness, & being never enough. Seems like acknowledging the role of the abusive parent may be a prerequisite to move to compassion.
Thanks Tara. I have tonight listened to parts 2 and 3 and, as always when I listen and practice your meditations, I feel rested and at peace in my heart.
I thought of a person that is bullying my partner. I was able to see how this persons behavior is based on her insecurity. It allowed me to calm my anger so I can better comfort my wife.
This video brought me to tears. But I was able to Redirect the pain I felt from my husband. It let me think of the foot-in the trap he might have
That I’ve never thought about. I will let go of self judgement and blame through self compassion. This sounds difficult but I am Willing to try. I need support as I am Bipolar which intensifies my emotions.
Thank you Tara, self compassion and to allow myself the time to feel the feelings, was a big thing for me, not a denial, or a guilty feeling for feeling them. I felt a shift with doing that. I had always tried to see the other person from a hurt place but my own feelings having not being allowed the expression of compassion, stayed in me as anger.. Thank you, I shall be using the U-turn scenario more and more.
Thank you for sharing and taking us on this journey to self-awareness and what needs to change in order live a more open/loving life. Grudge and resentment are powerful variables in destroying relationships and within ourselves. This mindful practice of a u-turn and leg trap scenario place things in perspective!
This is such a worthwhile journey, and really clarifies that becoming mindful is not about tuning out from feelings or circumstances but tuning into them in a healthy way, to seek healing. Thank you.
To have more self reflection feels good …if I let go of judgement and chronic blame I’m sure I’d be happier than some days in this loop x
Thanks for the u turn and leg in a trap scenarios
Thanks so much Tara
I would be more of me.
Thank you. This concept, internal locus of control with self- compassion, is one I have experienced with clients and myself however, I really enjoyed your two techniques; U- turn and vulnerability. Thank you so much for sharing.
Sue
Thank you Tara, that last video about shifting blame and repairing relationships is very timely for me. I have already been giving a lot of thought towards how to forgive a person who deeply hurt me years ago, someone I love. I had been aware of but hadn’t connected deeply enough with how he is caught in a trap of his own making, i was stuck in needing his apology to be able to move forward. Your exercise allowed me to move past my desire to be respected and apologised to and to connect with his pain and sadness. I am keen not to resource myself and travel than road with him to wherever it leads. Hopefully compassion and connection.
So wonderful to have these excellent teachings available to us. Thank you Tara and crew.
Much more relaxed.
The u turn really helped me to focus on my own feelings. I really liked the practice of self compassion and taking time to be with it.
I would be freeer to live authentically. I organically do this with many others in my life (some times taking more time than others) but I am not so good at turning this inward to deal with my inner blame and judgement and it keeps me living a life much smaller than I am.
I would be a better friend to myself.
I felt a warm and calming feeling when I put my hand on my heart but it was really hard to stop judging myself, I feel like it’s on such a deep-rooted level I don’t hear it I feel it and it makes me anxious..