Much gratitude for this kinder, gentler way to look at myself and my troubled relationships. I have always loved the middle path taught by Buddha, and this is something I will definitely include in my everyday practice. Thank you again, Tara Brach.
P.S. please include Homeopathic physician in your list of professions.
Thank you dear Tara, I realized how hurt my parents are. I resent for many years their judgments and lack of appreciation to me. I feel deeply sad. But I think is the first step.
Blessings.
In my 50’s I felt called out of my years of high school math teaching into Quaker seminary and chaplaincy. While training in chaplaincy, at IUPUI in Indianapolis, IN. , I applied for a job counseling in an inner-city adolescent center. I believe I was chosen for position because I wasn’t afraid of the inner-city young ones but was still kind. However, the life situations that my clients were faced with seemed overwhelming to me. My supervisor told me then to just listen. I did that and within 6 months the director of the program called me in to find out what I was doing, because so many of my clients were getting themselves out of some very difficult situations plus returning to school. I replied that it must be minor miracles because I didn’t have the language yet to explain. Within the year, I found the answer in the writings of Carl Rogers. What I had brought to the young ones was his “nonjudgmental acceptance” and as i walked quietly into their hells with them, they were able to find their own answers. That has been the core of my counseling ever since. It’s amazing what people can do when they are valued and accepted. I think that I must have learned this about others in my youth with good ministers and teachers (including some that I bothered a lot) ,readings above my grade, and the belief and experiences that I was led by a loving Spirit. It took a few good counselors to convince me that that accepting love was meant for me too. Thanks for clarifying some of the steps of my life.
Thanks Tara. I see the value in following your steps. Staying put with discomfort is very challenging especially when physical discomfort (heart palpitations, shallow breath, tightened throat) occur. My reaction is to run, numb out, distract. I am willing to do what you recommend though.
I tend to judge and blame myself before anyone else is able to. I am my own biggest critic. When I am able to let go of self judgement and chronic blame, which I am slightly more aware of, I am able to be a more authentic version of myself. Letting go of these qualities would lead to a more joyous and positive way of life. I wish this for all.
When I let go of judgment & blame, I feel free to be me. I really do love myself, with all my ups & downs!! I’ve been religiously practicing this for years now & it is getting much easier. I look forward to using this with my clients. Thank you.
I have been exploring letting go of attachments to aspects of my identity, and with that, judgements of myself and others. So far I am curious and less judgemental of not being very good at it!
Thank you Tara
If I could let go of blame and judgment, for myself and others, I know I would be much happier and content, much more able to show love and compassion. I realize I am trying to use blame and judgment as armor against more hurt. Great tool. Thanks!
I don’t know but I would certainly be different. I often think about that and “wonder” My younger brother, a doctor, is in the throws of actively dying of pancreatic cancer. I am poor financially and unable to visit him and say goodbye I love him dearly. I am a retired hospice RN and can be with people with out being imposing… just being with. I feel deeply grieved that I can’t be with him and his family and just help… like doing the dishes or holding them allowing them to cry. I am cut off from being able to mourn with them. They are there and I am here. I mourn and say good by…crying to the wind hoping he knows I love him. , his 5 children and his grandchildren. Its just hard as he he is being hooked up to a morphine drip … My older sister lives 6 hours away from him and is on her way to see him hoping he will live that much longer. I remind myself this is about him and his suffering not about me and my sadness. I hope he can drift off but know his pain may not allow that. I can do nothing but weep
Sandra, sending you deep compassion and the wish you can find peace knowing that we are all connected in the deep ocean of being and your brother will feel your love from wherever you are. Give yourself the same depth of compassion you are feeling for you brother as you journey through the grieving process.
Love, light and gratitude for all your and your brother have given to the countless patients you have supported over the years.
“May you call forward your deep potential for compassion.” What a beautiful offering and blessing. Thank you for these practices for working with blame – whether blame of self or other.
I used to be full of blaming and judgement towards others. That’s long gone. I used to be so close to rage all the time. That’s gone too. But I’ve never been able to get away from the inner critic. It has been with me for 95% of my life. Sadly, I have no idea who I would be if my inner critic was finally silenced.
Thank you Tara, I have been practicing something similar to what you just taught us, but your process helped me to really asimilate the excercise and felt grounded. It powered up what I was doing and could really engage in embracing and accepting myself with love.
I am so grateful to you, dear Tara. I think with self compassion and offering other’s compassion, we will be more peaceful and happy people, and we will be able to pass over the pandemic’s trauma and their sad consequences (individuals or social ). Thank you!
I’m glad you mentioned the need for boundaries for those in abusive relationships, and the importance of promoting safety; It’s such a balancing act. My own tendency to put the pain/needs of others before my own is something I struggle with and I’m thinking it may be my second arrow. Thanks so much for your insights Tara!
I have loved this Tara.
As a meditator myself your explanations went straight to my heart and made so much sense as to why I do meditate. The icing in the cake so to speak.
Thank you so so much. Perfect timing for me as I’m loaded with unworthiness and need to move forward. So grateful
this important work has been invaluable to me in my own self knowing and growth and it has helped me to be more helpful to my clients in my psychotherpy practice. The more I have done the work for myself, the more I experience my clients valuing this work as well.
I would be my self living as Divinely intended,
feeling worthy and deserving, with self-compassion,
and living free of self-blame and free of self-judgment.
I thank you, Tara, for lovingly and compassionately ReMinding me of these options for myself.
I sincerely pray for your continued wellness and safety.
The U turn practice is really powerful. Practising in the moment of a difficult interchange this stalls my own reactivity and I can feel the other’s defence habits, even if not clearly. Knowing we both are suffering breaks down that sharp feeling of separateness. There’s less of me and more of ’us’.
Thank you so much.
Thank you so much for sharing this. The U turn practice was very powerful. It’s hard to think any other way when someone has hurt you. While it doesn’t condone their behavior, it’s very freeing to soften the pain and to even create a boundary in which I can now see that while I was the target, it wasn’t really about me. It was about the pain they were feeling. I can separate it now. <3
This was a great practice! I think video two was the most impactful for me personally and I was able to let go of some self-blame for choices I made in the past in an effort to protect myself, the consequences of which are now hurting me. It was such a gentle and loving process, which is so key to making powerful, long-lasting shifts and not just dramatic, temporary adjustments. Thank you for sharing this!
Much gratitude for this kinder, gentler way to look at myself and my troubled relationships. I have always loved the middle path taught by Buddha, and this is something I will definitely include in my everyday practice. Thank you again, Tara Brach.
P.S. please include Homeopathic physician in your list of professions.
Great excercise. Thank you
Thank you dear Tara, I realized how hurt my parents are. I resent for many years their judgments and lack of appreciation to me. I feel deeply sad. But I think is the first step.
Blessings.
I would love to learn more. Thank you!
In my 50’s I felt called out of my years of high school math teaching into Quaker seminary and chaplaincy. While training in chaplaincy, at IUPUI in Indianapolis, IN. , I applied for a job counseling in an inner-city adolescent center. I believe I was chosen for position because I wasn’t afraid of the inner-city young ones but was still kind. However, the life situations that my clients were faced with seemed overwhelming to me. My supervisor told me then to just listen. I did that and within 6 months the director of the program called me in to find out what I was doing, because so many of my clients were getting themselves out of some very difficult situations plus returning to school. I replied that it must be minor miracles because I didn’t have the language yet to explain. Within the year, I found the answer in the writings of Carl Rogers. What I had brought to the young ones was his “nonjudgmental acceptance” and as i walked quietly into their hells with them, they were able to find their own answers. That has been the core of my counseling ever since. It’s amazing what people can do when they are valued and accepted. I think that I must have learned this about others in my youth with good ministers and teachers (including some that I bothered a lot) ,readings above my grade, and the belief and experiences that I was led by a loving Spirit. It took a few good counselors to convince me that that accepting love was meant for me too. Thanks for clarifying some of the steps of my life.
Thanks Tara. I see the value in following your steps. Staying put with discomfort is very challenging especially when physical discomfort (heart palpitations, shallow breath, tightened throat) occur. My reaction is to run, numb out, distract. I am willing to do what you recommend though.
A little more understanding for the dog trapped in trap.
Harmony and peace but need to practise more often though.
I tend to judge and blame myself before anyone else is able to. I am my own biggest critic. When I am able to let go of self judgement and chronic blame, which I am slightly more aware of, I am able to be a more authentic version of myself. Letting go of these qualities would lead to a more joyous and positive way of life. I wish this for all.
Profound words. Thanks ever so greatly. It works here for this old student. 🙂
When I let go of judgment & blame, I feel free to be me. I really do love myself, with all my ups & downs!! I’ve been religiously practicing this for years now & it is getting much easier. I look forward to using this with my clients. Thank you.
Love and light
Free to listen to my own voice. Free to express myself.
If I could let go of blame and judgment, for myself and others, I know I would be much more able to show love and compassion. Thanks!
I’m not sure, but a path worth taking!
I have been exploring letting go of attachments to aspects of my identity, and with that, judgements of myself and others. So far I am curious and less judgemental of not being very good at it!
Thank you Tara
If I let go of judgment and chronic blame I would be more at peace with myself and more open to what life offers. Thank you for your insights Tara!
Loved these mini workshops. Very informative and an area that I definitely need to work on. Thank You Tara!
no shame no blame is the foundation
Made me think and realize what I have been doing to myself and others. The stress of combat has been festering for to long.
Free-er, more open, less stressed, happier!
Thank you, Tara!
If I could let go of blame and judgment, for myself and others, I know I would be much happier and content, much more able to show love and compassion. I realize I am trying to use blame and judgment as armor against more hurt. Great tool. Thanks!
A person relieved of burden- lighter.
I don’t know but I would certainly be different. I often think about that and “wonder” My younger brother, a doctor, is in the throws of actively dying of pancreatic cancer. I am poor financially and unable to visit him and say goodbye I love him dearly. I am a retired hospice RN and can be with people with out being imposing… just being with. I feel deeply grieved that I can’t be with him and his family and just help… like doing the dishes or holding them allowing them to cry. I am cut off from being able to mourn with them. They are there and I am here. I mourn and say good by…crying to the wind hoping he knows I love him. , his 5 children and his grandchildren. Its just hard as he he is being hooked up to a morphine drip … My older sister lives 6 hours away from him and is on her way to see him hoping he will live that much longer. I remind myself this is about him and his suffering not about me and my sadness. I hope he can drift off but know his pain may not allow that. I can do nothing but weep
Sandra, sending you deep compassion and the wish you can find peace knowing that we are all connected in the deep ocean of being and your brother will feel your love from wherever you are. Give yourself the same depth of compassion you are feeling for you brother as you journey through the grieving process.
Love, light and gratitude for all your and your brother have given to the countless patients you have supported over the years.
“May you call forward your deep potential for compassion.” What a beautiful offering and blessing. Thank you for these practices for working with blame – whether blame of self or other.
I can be a more fullfilled and loving me. Thank you so much !! I am so appreciative You helped me open up my mind to moving forward.
Thank you for sharing those invaluable tools.Namaste.
I used to be full of blaming and judgement towards others. That’s long gone. I used to be so close to rage all the time. That’s gone too. But I’ve never been able to get away from the inner critic. It has been with me for 95% of my life. Sadly, I have no idea who I would be if my inner critic was finally silenced.
Thank you Tara, I have been practicing something similar to what you just taught us, but your process helped me to really asimilate the excercise and felt grounded. It powered up what I was doing and could really engage in embracing and accepting myself with love.
a better me
I am so grateful to you, dear Tara. I think with self compassion and offering other’s compassion, we will be more peaceful and happy people, and we will be able to pass over the pandemic’s trauma and their sad consequences (individuals or social ). Thank you!
I just want to stay with the thoughts of what it means to me to be judgmental and blaming others, especially my spouse.
I’m glad you mentioned the need for boundaries for those in abusive relationships, and the importance of promoting safety; It’s such a balancing act. My own tendency to put the pain/needs of others before my own is something I struggle with and I’m thinking it may be my second arrow. Thanks so much for your insights Tara!
I have loved this Tara.
As a meditator myself your explanations went straight to my heart and made so much sense as to why I do meditate. The icing in the cake so to speak.
Thank you so so much. Perfect timing for me as I’m loaded with unworthiness and need to move forward. So grateful
this important work has been invaluable to me in my own self knowing and growth and it has helped me to be more helpful to my clients in my psychotherpy practice. The more I have done the work for myself, the more I experience my clients valuing this work as well.
Still very lonely.
?thank you❤️
Thanks Tara. I love your teachings. Really powerful ❤️
I would be my self living as Divinely intended,
feeling worthy and deserving, with self-compassion,
and living free of self-blame and free of self-judgment.
I thank you, Tara, for lovingly and compassionately ReMinding me of these options for myself.
I sincerely pray for your continued wellness and safety.
I would be someone who was able to be outwardly authentic instead of hiding parts of herself so as to not offend others.
The U turn practice is really powerful. Practising in the moment of a difficult interchange this stalls my own reactivity and I can feel the other’s defence habits, even if not clearly. Knowing we both are suffering breaks down that sharp feeling of separateness. There’s less of me and more of ’us’.
Thank you so much.
Thank you so much for sharing this. The U turn practice was very powerful. It’s hard to think any other way when someone has hurt you. While it doesn’t condone their behavior, it’s very freeing to soften the pain and to even create a boundary in which I can now see that while I was the target, it wasn’t really about me. It was about the pain they were feeling. I can separate it now. <3
Thank you. It was very powerful.
i would be more simple, more light, more connected…
Thank you. I appreciate your generosity. There is so much to learn and to practice. It helps me to feel and to see more clearly . Merci.
Probably warmer, calmer, less triggered.
Makes so much sense! It’s extremely powerful to just ask yourself this question… Thanks Tara!
This was a great practice! I think video two was the most impactful for me personally and I was able to let go of some self-blame for choices I made in the past in an effort to protect myself, the consequences of which are now hurting me. It was such a gentle and loving process, which is so key to making powerful, long-lasting shifts and not just dramatic, temporary adjustments. Thank you for sharing this!
oops lost the ‘points’ you shared
Thank you – experienced deep feelings and insight.
Thank you
Good points
Hard when it’s someone like your Mother
Who has already passed