Powerful…self reliant… compassionate…fearless…accepting…have clarity, curiosity, confidence and courage. I would be authentic, sacred and the purest avataar of this embodiment. Freedom beckons on the other side of judgement.
This was really powerful – I was able to recognize that underneath the blame and resentment was deep hurt and wound, which I sometimes don’t want to face. The real shift was the U-turn which was to see that the other pErson is also suffering and that I’m not the only one. That brought this warm feeling from the back of my heart forward and I felt my heart center opened again. Thank you!
I immediately went to a feeling of grief where I was reminded of the alienation trauma I have experienced with my daughter. It is both a physical and emotional pain that I carry with me. However, every time I give myself space to feel this grief and I release my tears, it is almost as if the “windshield in my mind clears” and I can others with a more caring and loving heart. My grief that I feel allows me to love others with a wider and more compassionate heart.
HI Thank you so much.That was very helpful and the absolutely loving way to go forward in life for us on an individual level, and for the world around us…That was soothing and touching and reminding – that we need to sit with how we feel to heal…and that if we can tap into the loving and compassionate aspects of ourselves that are within us all…we can overcome suffering in ourselves but also in our relationships with others.
I would be a person I have lost somewhere , sometime , someplace . At times , rare moments , I have encountered this elusive person . The authenticity of this seemingly sacred awareness brought me a mixed bag of tears , aliveness , humility , a gasp of needed relief from somewhere deep , deep inside . Inevitably, this almost holy time would sadly and quietly dissipate, enveloped by the invisible wind . Gone and looking back it has a dreamlike feel . Questions , like was that really the real me , the authentic dream or was it a mere illusion ? If I would have the vulnerability and courage to let go of judgment and chronic blame this rare and illusive moment of authenticity would be mine , it would be me .
I am still affected by an incident from 3 years ago so the U-Turn and the woods activity are helpful. I really want to let go of a story that is no longer relevant to who I am right now but it hasn’t been easy. I’ll keep persevering with these techniques.
I think I would be less fearful in relationships and thus maybe more connected to myself in a more loving way. I would be able to let go of my incessant responsibility to those I love and lessen it towards my clients. I hope I would be more comfortable showing vulnerability.
Thank you for reminding us about forgiveness and compassion.
When something upsetting happens I now put my thumb and forefinger together and tell myself that I can “Peace on” instead of being “ Peace-ed off”.
Our mind is so beautifully powerful.
Thank you for your insight and guidance.
I recognised how my own unacknowledged vulnerabilities have lead to my tendency to blame what the “other” is doing to me. I felt the emotional to let go from this disabling cycle using the two steps you suggested in the video. I would like to practice this inner work and deepen the space of freedom for me!!
As I did the exercise, a previous version of my self returned. I’ve hardened some with experiences so as to survive but not thrive in my life. While I write this, I sound more dramatic than I had intended but I have made a life shift this last year, the last 10 years.
I enjoy the more compassionate me. It was like greeting the return of an old friend. It is more my truth so the notion of radical compassion is attractive. I will check out what you have to offer.
A new world of openness.
Judgment(guides attention) limits…..,
“Out of ignorance and fear comes judgment and division.”
David Furnish
Blame is an attempt to manager another’s behavior.
Tara, beautiful work…and so effective as I am exploring the move from my rage toward my parents for creating a devastating childhood to my own inner peace. As a complex trauma survivor trying to live in a culture where most people would rather look away and not understand the true damage, I have been the ONLY one who was angry about what happened to me, the ONLY one who was outraged. So clinging to my rage became critical for me. Most programs talk all about “forgiveness”, which for traumatized adult/children is almost impossible to achieve. Or they insist on “letting go”, which triggers the inner child into feeling betrayed all over again, as if the damage didn’t really matter. But compassion – THAT is a concept that is not triggering so strongly. Yes, I can feel compassion for them. I don’t have to forgive them, but I don’t have to get stuck in the story of my childhood all the time and clutch onto the rage in order to validate what happened. While I learned a long time ago to feel compassion for myself, I was only beginning to imagine extending it in my parents’ direction. Your program has opened a door through which I am willing to walk. Thank you.
I immediately felt the power of this U-turn practice. My nervous system responded immediately, my muscles released tension and the body calmed down. There was also sadness and a deep feeling of “more of this please”. A calling from deep inside to make this U-turn and pay attention the feelings and emotions that really need to be felt and seen, instead of focussing on the other. Thank you ??
Thank you so much for your consistent insistence on radical compassion for self and others. I always hear that call behind every talk you share with us.
As usual…. your words and your compassion move me into deep places inside that are waiting for my attention. I really like your term…. u-turn. I was using the word “pivot” when I wanted to re-focus on accepting and feeling and my own pain and woundedness instead of judging and blaming others.
“U-turn” is much more accurate. … I especially like that it contains the U.
Take my focus off of You and take a U–turn
back towards me. Time for a U-turn down the road of judgement and blame heading back towards understanding, love and compassion.
I can now see that when I take that upturn, accept my feelings and have compassion for my own woundedness…. it opens my heart wide enough to feel compassion for the other person’s woundedness.
Than I can ask …. how have I hurt others from my own woundedness? How have I responded from fear and pain.
See… we are all the same. I am the same as the one who wounded me.
We are all wounded and when we respond from that place…. we co-create a wounding chain from our past… hurting others because we are no longer responding in the present moment. We are responding from our past.
Giving ourselves radical compassion opens the door to healing for both of us.
l am so grateful for your teachings. I always experience some new insight that brings me closer to unconditional love.
Thank you ??
Cathy Smith, Health Education, Boise , ID, USA says
I would be so much lighter, a happier person, with abundant love to share!
Thank you Tara for this wonderful practice. May all beings benefit!
Peace,
Cathy
Jennifer Columbus, Other, Tucson , AZ, USA says
I learned to armor-protect from my mom who was silenced by living with my dad.
Kamal Malhi, Counseling, IN says
Powerful…self reliant… compassionate…fearless…accepting…have clarity, curiosity, confidence and courage. I would be authentic, sacred and the purest avataar of this embodiment. Freedom beckons on the other side of judgement.
Anna Fu, Another Field, USA says
This is most helpful. I am a volunteer mentor for young people without means.
I would like to share but am not on Facebook. Thank you Tara.
Judith Martin, Counseling, CA says
Such important work. Thank you, Tara.
Keith Decker, USA says
A more loving father and teacher.
Anonymous says
Looking at the other person gives me an awareness of their hurt, not just mine.
Fedora G, Teacher, IT says
Thanks Tara, trying the U turn has been an illuminating experience
Joy B, Other, CA, USA says
This was really powerful – I was able to recognize that underneath the blame and resentment was deep hurt and wound, which I sometimes don’t want to face. The real shift was the U-turn which was to see that the other pErson is also suffering and that I’m not the only one. That brought this warm feeling from the back of my heart forward and I felt my heart center opened again. Thank you!
me me, Teacher, Littleton, CO, USA says
I immediately went to a feeling of grief where I was reminded of the alienation trauma I have experienced with my daughter. It is both a physical and emotional pain that I carry with me. However, every time I give myself space to feel this grief and I release my tears, it is almost as if the “windshield in my mind clears” and I can others with a more caring and loving heart. My grief that I feel allows me to love others with a wider and more compassionate heart.
K Olsen, Counseling, Woodside, CA, USA says
I’d be able to move freely in my life, caring for myself and others.
jo roberts, Counseling, GB says
HI Thank you so much.That was very helpful and the absolutely loving way to go forward in life for us on an individual level, and for the world around us…That was soothing and touching and reminding – that we need to sit with how we feel to heal…and that if we can tap into the loving and compassionate aspects of ourselves that are within us all…we can overcome suffering in ourselves but also in our relationships with others.
gayle mckenna, Another Field, Newbury park, CA, USA says
Thank you Tara. It was as if you were speaking to me personally in this video.
Melanie Lifer, PA, USA says
I would be a stronger person. A person who would be less anxious fearful and calm. Happier and more independent.
Barbara Gummere, Weston, FL, USA says
Less angry
Suzanne Behla, Another Field, Snohomish, WA, USA says
This gave a better understanding of the feelings and hurts that I hold in, something I’ve been working on.
vicki, Counseling, Boca Raton, FL, USA says
I would be at peace! Thank you:)
Cheryle Wilson, Other, BALTIMORE, MD, USA says
I would know freedom, and be able to be brave enough to fully trust
David Davila, Cedar Park, Tx , TX, USA says
I would be a person I have lost somewhere , sometime , someplace . At times , rare moments , I have encountered this elusive person . The authenticity of this seemingly sacred awareness brought me a mixed bag of tears , aliveness , humility , a gasp of needed relief from somewhere deep , deep inside . Inevitably, this almost holy time would sadly and quietly dissipate, enveloped by the invisible wind . Gone and looking back it has a dreamlike feel . Questions , like was that really the real me , the authentic dream or was it a mere illusion ? If I would have the vulnerability and courage to let go of judgment and chronic blame this rare and illusive moment of authenticity would be mine , it would be me .
Anna Hewitt, Teacher, GB says
I found an immediate sense of release, warmth and lightness that it was okay.
Thank you
Selma Schlee, Philadelphia, PA, USA says
Many thanks, Ms. Brach!
Karen Swenson, Medicine, Austin, TX, USA says
I love the concept of Uturn. All of these videos are so helpful.
Amy Coutts, Coach, GB says
I am still affected by an incident from 3 years ago so the U-Turn and the woods activity are helpful. I really want to let go of a story that is no longer relevant to who I am right now but it hasn’t been easy. I’ll keep persevering with these techniques.
Elizabeth Fraser, Psychotherapy, CA says
I think I would be less fearful in relationships and thus maybe more connected to myself in a more loving way. I would be able to let go of my incessant responsibility to those I love and lessen it towards my clients. I hope I would be more comfortable showing vulnerability.
Bob says
Thank you for reminding us about forgiveness and compassion.
When something upsetting happens I now put my thumb and forefinger together and tell myself that I can “Peace on” instead of being “ Peace-ed off”.
Our mind is so beautifully powerful.
Thank you for your insight and guidance.
job watene, Counseling, KE says
I recognised how my own unacknowledged vulnerabilities have lead to my tendency to blame what the “other” is doing to me. I felt the emotional to let go from this disabling cycle using the two steps you suggested in the video. I would like to practice this inner work and deepen the space of freedom for me!!
I thank you deeply!!
Job
jennifer Steed, Coach, CA says
Liberated, joyous, kind, generous and alive
Lauren Weissman, Teacher, Loa Angeles, CA, USA says
I’d be a better person and more able to help others.
Teri, Counseling, AZ, USA says
As I did the exercise, a previous version of my self returned. I’ve hardened some with experiences so as to survive but not thrive in my life. While I write this, I sound more dramatic than I had intended but I have made a life shift this last year, the last 10 years.
I enjoy the more compassionate me. It was like greeting the return of an old friend. It is more my truth so the notion of radical compassion is attractive. I will check out what you have to offer.
Scharff, USA says
Soooo much freer!
Linda Keefe, Other, Albuquerque, NM, USA says
I would be open hearted and joyful! And more fun to be around.
Thank you Tara for your beautiful gentleness and wisdom.
Julia French, Other, AZ, USA says
Finding some self-compassion which had been eluding me up to now, has brought a little peace into my heart. Thank you so much.
Shelley Coss, Another Field, Arlington, VA, USA says
Lovely, gentle and powerful.
Jyl Weber, Another Field, Gulfport, MS, USA says
This was an excellent beginning for me to try to let go of self judgement and also recognize vulnerability in others.
Michele baker, Another Field, AK, USA says
Thank you, Tara
ma-kame AAzar, Student, AT says
Thank you, I enjoyed the video! I wish to learn more about changing the outside through my inside. With Love
Leeenda Blooom, SANTA FE, NM, USA says
I experienced a internal softening in my heart…thank you!
Anonymous, Another Field, macon, GA, USA says
A new world of openness.
Judgment(guides attention) limits…..,
“Out of ignorance and fear comes judgment and division.”
David Furnish
Blame is an attempt to manager another’s behavior.
Patricia Ikeda-Nash, Clergy, Oakland, CA, USA says
A very useful and powerful practice. Thank you, Tara.
Luci Huhn, Student, Union Pier , MI, USA says
I felt calmer, relieved of something. I felt warmth around my heart.
Alex Jones, Another Field, Anamosa, IA, USA says
Tara, beautiful work…and so effective as I am exploring the move from my rage toward my parents for creating a devastating childhood to my own inner peace. As a complex trauma survivor trying to live in a culture where most people would rather look away and not understand the true damage, I have been the ONLY one who was angry about what happened to me, the ONLY one who was outraged. So clinging to my rage became critical for me. Most programs talk all about “forgiveness”, which for traumatized adult/children is almost impossible to achieve. Or they insist on “letting go”, which triggers the inner child into feeling betrayed all over again, as if the damage didn’t really matter. But compassion – THAT is a concept that is not triggering so strongly. Yes, I can feel compassion for them. I don’t have to forgive them, but I don’t have to get stuck in the story of my childhood all the time and clutch onto the rage in order to validate what happened. While I learned a long time ago to feel compassion for myself, I was only beginning to imagine extending it in my parents’ direction. Your program has opened a door through which I am willing to walk. Thank you.
Susan Hsu, Psychotherapy, ZA says
Love the imagery of being in the woods meeting the wounded dog! Will definitely use it with my client. Thanks Tara!
olivia Moore, Teacher, GB says
I would be a lighter and more cheerful person without the blame
Astrid van Wesenbeeck, Coach, NL says
I immediately felt the power of this U-turn practice. My nervous system responded immediately, my muscles released tension and the body calmed down. There was also sadness and a deep feeling of “more of this please”. A calling from deep inside to make this U-turn and pay attention the feelings and emotions that really need to be felt and seen, instead of focussing on the other. Thank you ??
Holly Rice, Grass Valley, CA, USA says
I believe I would be self accepting of myself and pave the way finally to be my best friend and ally.
Chic Lotz, Coach, Grass Valley , CA, USA says
Thank you so much for your consistent insistence on radical compassion for self and others. I always hear that call behind every talk you share with us.
As usual…. your words and your compassion move me into deep places inside that are waiting for my attention. I really like your term…. u-turn. I was using the word “pivot” when I wanted to re-focus on accepting and feeling and my own pain and woundedness instead of judging and blaming others.
“U-turn” is much more accurate. … I especially like that it contains the U.
Take my focus off of You and take a U–turn
back towards me. Time for a U-turn down the road of judgement and blame heading back towards understanding, love and compassion.
I can now see that when I take that upturn, accept my feelings and have compassion for my own woundedness…. it opens my heart wide enough to feel compassion for the other person’s woundedness.
Than I can ask …. how have I hurt others from my own woundedness? How have I responded from fear and pain.
See… we are all the same. I am the same as the one who wounded me.
We are all wounded and when we respond from that place…. we co-create a wounding chain from our past… hurting others because we are no longer responding in the present moment. We are responding from our past.
Giving ourselves radical compassion opens the door to healing for both of us.
l am so grateful for your teachings. I always experience some new insight that brings me closer to unconditional love.
Thank you ??
Nancy Deutsch, Social Work, San Diego, CA, USA says
Beautiful practice to open your heart
sandra martin, Clergy, CA says
I felt fear instead of blame
It was soothing to my whole system to listen
Jeremy Burgess, CA says
Hi Tara, when doing the compassion practice I really did feel more free and at ease as I released feelings of blame.
Gloria Ruggieri, Psychotherapy, GB says
Thank you for your kindness for this difficult journey.
Joy Cooper, Other, Long Beach , NY, USA says
I enjoyed the 3 workshops very much – thank you. How do I join the program in radical compassion?