Hello Tara
I really struggle with the word compasion. But words are purely words and it is the practise of compasion that is what I need to find. I hope that your practises will help with this.
Who would I be? I would be happy, happy enough to give up doubt and disbelief. I would be able to see the souls in my fellow human beings rather than empty vessels mindlessly getting through life. I would feel comfortable with joy as my norm. Thank you kindly Tara for sharing your gifts of deep wisdom with me and my community around the world. You are amazing. I managed to get through 2020 with hope and promise largely because of you.
Free from reliving past conflicts and preventing reconciliation, my relationships with others would have more space to grow if appropriate or an opportunity for me to move on.
Initially, with the u-turn exercise, I felt intense pain in my chest and throat, my face felt as though it was swelling as I came close to tears; I also experienced feelings of great sadness,loss, and loneliness. As I spoke compassionately to myself, and gently stroked my sternum, I began to feel a release of pain, I exhaled deeply and a sense of clam and peace arose within me. Thank you.
Thank you, so much. so interesting to listen to your guidance and know I am in the exact space where you are trying to teach here.
Even the illustrations of some of the pictures n videos reminds us of our behaviours as a couple. The funny thing, is yes, holding onto resentment is not letting us free our own selves instead it’s holding both parties back. I keep hoping that my partner will come to understand the pain he causes n he is feeling the same too. So after listening to your guidance, I need to really shift my thinking as otherwise the round will just deepen. Your work is incredibly powerful, Tara. Thank you for being so kind to the human heart.
I felt a sense of freedom as I said and felt its OK to feel that sense of judgement and anger. I’ve tried so long to overcome it and not have it, and this acceptance has worked with anxiety for me, but never thought to sit with anger in non judgement. Thank you ??
I was going to say that I would be more relaxed and peaceful. But that would be skipping a step! If I let go of judgment and blame, I would be left face to face with the feelings that I deflected by going to judgment and blame: anxiety, overwhelm, confusion, inadequacy… So, can I really accept that it is okay to have these feelings? This gives me a window into the people in my life who have judged and blamed me. They may also have felt anxious, overwhelmed, confused and inadequate and were unable to acknowledge these feelings within themselves. I can feel some compassion and understanding towards them. I need to spend more time giving myself this compassion and understanding before jumping to finding a solution to my situation.
This is really helpful, thank you Tara ?? What I like about it is that the limbic is fully online aswell as the prefrontal and I experienced a relaxation of the autonomic nervoussystem.
Anita Orlikoff, Another Field, Chicago, IL, USAsays
The U Turn reminds me of NonViolent Communication needing Self Empathy before being able to give empathy to others.
I found the dog with leg in trap metaphor extremely helpful!
GEORGE JACOBS, Counseling, Kerhonkson, NY, USAsays
This is the real work of our lives. It is beyond a good idea– it is essential for our very survival as a species. Hatred, blame, shame and guilt, internalized or externalized, is the same poison. It’s not our fault as it has been passed down, taught and inculcated through generations. As we accept with compassion that it is present in us as well as others, it gives us the freedom of kindness and a sense of oneness. It can be a long slog for so many and my hope is that the coalescing fields of psychedelics and psychotherapy will greatly accelerate the process.
That was very helpful Tara. The image of the dog in the trap really resonated with me. Normally I react and take others anger personally.
I need to practice the 3 steps. Thankyou for your generosity and wisdom.
I really liked the image of the u turn. I am presently going through a difficult divorce and am greatly saddened by the turn of events. Letting go of blame allows me to change my expectations, to shift from a place of resentment to one of forgiveness. It allows me to see it’s not such a huge shift but really a movement of a few centimetres. It’s so much simpler than I actually anticipated. Not getting stuck in the story, not reliving it over and over but instead honouring it and then letting go in order to move forward.
Thank you ?
Thank you ever so much for your help offered in this episode. It feels so liberating, peaceful and empowering to keep on on my path to more self compassion and compassion with all living organisms on this planet. Your clear guidance is so essential in these difficult times.
Someone who I don’t know yet, but probably happier, more content and living more easily live. Someone who does make a difference without putting effort or worry into it. Someone who loves herself as is and loves everyone else as is. Someone who can learn and teach. Someone who know what she wants…
Helpful reminder of the importance of being compassionate with myself when I feel angry or hurt with a friend, and judge myself for being judgemental , even if I don’t voice it! Allowing the uncomfortable feeling, with compassion opens me to considering the other’s wounds or traps. Thanks!
What kind of person would I be? More peaceful and open and the kind of person who could remember and engage with her ex husband with an open heart. Thank you,
Happy and free!
I have these old judgements towards my husband, which are hard to let go.
I really wish to leave them behind, because they keep me away from my heart.
Elaine Phillips, Other, Edgewater, MD, USA says
This is helpful, but still REALLY hard to not be mad.
Maloah Stillwater, Marriage/Family Therapy, USA says
Thank you, Tara. I’m so grateful to have you here with us, as a teacher of love.
Annette Gilbert, Teacher, AU says
I’d be the person who I long to be and help to bring healing to me, my family and extended family of humanity.
Joan Gilbert says
I would be less anxious!
sandy Michell, ZA says
Hello Tara
I really struggle with the word compasion. But words are purely words and it is the practise of compasion that is what I need to find. I hope that your practises will help with this.
Cia wright, Another Field, Placitas, NM, USA says
Who would I be? I would be happy, happy enough to give up doubt and disbelief. I would be able to see the souls in my fellow human beings rather than empty vessels mindlessly getting through life. I would feel comfortable with joy as my norm. Thank you kindly Tara for sharing your gifts of deep wisdom with me and my community around the world. You are amazing. I managed to get through 2020 with hope and promise largely because of you.
Mary, Other, CO, USA says
I’d be so much more peaceful and light…not so heavy and sad.
Madonna Datzman, Counseling, Martinez, CA, USA says
Thank you I feel peaceful.
Ragnar Gunnarsson, Psychology, DK says
This was a very good talk about vulnerability and compassion/self compassion.
Thanks.
Dora Cumpian, Counseling, Eagle Pass, TX, USA says
I’ll be using the U Turn practice
Kelly Anon, Social Work, Buffalo , NY, USA says
Free from reliving past conflicts and preventing reconciliation, my relationships with others would have more space to grow if appropriate or an opportunity for me to move on.
Linda Hans, Counseling, AT says
This is a truly helpful practice. Thank you.
Lisa Holiday, Social Work, Panguitch, UT, USA says
A happier me.
Angela Munro, CA says
Initially, with the u-turn exercise, I felt intense pain in my chest and throat, my face felt as though it was swelling as I came close to tears; I also experienced feelings of great sadness,loss, and loneliness. As I spoke compassionately to myself, and gently stroked my sternum, I began to feel a release of pain, I exhaled deeply and a sense of clam and peace arose within me. Thank you.
Juway Bhalla, Other, AU says
Thank you, so much. so interesting to listen to your guidance and know I am in the exact space where you are trying to teach here.
Even the illustrations of some of the pictures n videos reminds us of our behaviours as a couple. The funny thing, is yes, holding onto resentment is not letting us free our own selves instead it’s holding both parties back. I keep hoping that my partner will come to understand the pain he causes n he is feeling the same too. So after listening to your guidance, I need to really shift my thinking as otherwise the round will just deepen. Your work is incredibly powerful, Tara. Thank you for being so kind to the human heart.
Christine Salah, Exercise Physiology, San Mateo , CA, USA says
I would be more free and I would feel lighter. But it’s very hard to let go of blame. It’s rooted so deep. The practice helped for a few moments.
Emma Sims, Other, GB says
I felt a sense of freedom as I said and felt its OK to feel that sense of judgement and anger. I’ve tried so long to overcome it and not have it, and this acceptance has worked with anxiety for me, but never thought to sit with anger in non judgement. Thank you ??
Nelle Moffett, Astoria, OR, USA says
I was going to say that I would be more relaxed and peaceful. But that would be skipping a step! If I let go of judgment and blame, I would be left face to face with the feelings that I deflected by going to judgment and blame: anxiety, overwhelm, confusion, inadequacy… So, can I really accept that it is okay to have these feelings? This gives me a window into the people in my life who have judged and blamed me. They may also have felt anxious, overwhelmed, confused and inadequate and were unable to acknowledge these feelings within themselves. I can feel some compassion and understanding towards them. I need to spend more time giving myself this compassion and understanding before jumping to finding a solution to my situation.
Maria Isabel Teixeira, AL says
Thank you Tara! The tools you offer are very helpful.
Kim Lakke, Teacher, NL says
This is really helpful, thank you Tara ?? What I like about it is that the limbic is fully online aswell as the prefrontal and I experienced a relaxation of the autonomic nervoussystem.
Fi, Other, SE says
Thank you Tara
Anita Orlikoff, Another Field, Chicago, IL, USA says
The U Turn reminds me of NonViolent Communication needing Self Empathy before being able to give empathy to others.
I found the dog with leg in trap metaphor extremely helpful!
Tiina Dohrmann, Other, Brooklyn, NY, USA says
Thank you dear Tara.
Shauna Kovach, CA says
I would be much happier & calm. I am so tired of blaming myself for everything that goes wrong. Second guessing myself
Anonymous, Marriage/Family Therapy, St. Louis, MO, USA says
I’d be more free, more present, and better able to celebrate life and living…
Dale LaBohn, Other, Las Vegas, NV, USA says
Who would I be if. . . That’s quite a question. Something for me to definitely delve into. Thank you.
Frances Fitch, Another Field, Gloucester , MA, USA says
I would like myself a whole lot better!
GEORGE JACOBS, Counseling, Kerhonkson, NY, USA says
This is the real work of our lives. It is beyond a good idea– it is essential for our very survival as a species. Hatred, blame, shame and guilt, internalized or externalized, is the same poison. It’s not our fault as it has been passed down, taught and inculcated through generations. As we accept with compassion that it is present in us as well as others, it gives us the freedom of kindness and a sense of oneness. It can be a long slog for so many and my hope is that the coalescing fields of psychedelics and psychotherapy will greatly accelerate the process.
Sharon Wiley, AU says
That was very helpful Tara. The image of the dog in the trap really resonated with me. Normally I react and take others anger personally.
I need to practice the 3 steps. Thankyou for your generosity and wisdom.
Sibylle Land, Psychotherapy, CA says
I really liked the image of the u turn. I am presently going through a difficult divorce and am greatly saddened by the turn of events. Letting go of blame allows me to change my expectations, to shift from a place of resentment to one of forgiveness. It allows me to see it’s not such a huge shift but really a movement of a few centimetres. It’s so much simpler than I actually anticipated. Not getting stuck in the story, not reliving it over and over but instead honouring it and then letting go in order to move forward.
Thank you ?
Ulrich Mandelkow, Teacher, DE says
Thank you ever so much for your help offered in this episode. It feels so liberating, peaceful and empowering to keep on on my path to more self compassion and compassion with all living organisms on this planet. Your clear guidance is so essential in these difficult times.
Jay Fox, USA says
Thank you Tara, they are amazing and so compassionate ways at looking at the human experience, loved all the practices.
Julia Schiller, Medicine, DE says
I would feel free and much lighter.
More space for others being who they are.
More space for my true self.
Victoria Harkn, Teacher, NZ says
Thank you Tara that was so helpful
Laura Garcia, Another Field, DK says
Someone who I don’t know yet, but probably happier, more content and living more easily live. Someone who does make a difference without putting effort or worry into it. Someone who loves herself as is and loves everyone else as is. Someone who can learn and teach. Someone who know what she wants…
Daphne, Counseling, MA, USA says
Helpful reminder of the importance of being compassionate with myself when I feel angry or hurt with a friend, and judge myself for being judgemental , even if I don’t voice it! Allowing the uncomfortable feeling, with compassion opens me to considering the other’s wounds or traps. Thanks!
Terri Spice, Other, Los Gatos, CA, USA says
Very helpful. I need to do these 3 steps again and again.
Laura Shames Evans, Another Field, Pound Ridge, NY, USA says
I found it very helpful
Sandi John, Clergy, Chico, CA, USA says
Thank you, Tara. The practices you introduce have been transformative for me, and I invite my clients to them as well.
M H, Another Field, Inwood, WV, USA says
Thank you so much for this series. I would be kinder to myself and live in the present.
Anonymous, Counseling, AU says
What kind of person would I be? More peaceful and open and the kind of person who could remember and engage with her ex husband with an open heart. Thank you,
Anonymous says
If I let go of all judgment and chronic blame of myself and others, I would experience more joy and peace in life.
Colleen Davies, Another Field, Village of Lakewood, IL, USA says
Just what I need today, thank you.
Anonymous says
Free of pain and embrace the joy and love that I am. Thank you
edabe elson, Other, Ithaca, NY, USA says
Thank you, Tara.
Barrie Barrett, Other, Charlottesville, VA, USA says
Thank you, Tara. So needed.
Anonymous, Medicine, USA says
As always, great insights and lovely helpful practices. Thank you, Tara.
Leticia Long says
A kinder, gentler human.
Gro Hammerstad Næss, Psychotherapy, NO says
Happy and free!
I have these old judgements towards my husband, which are hard to let go.
I really wish to leave them behind, because they keep me away from my heart.
Meg Allen, Other, Charolette, TN, USA says
this was helpful for me I do understand my sons own pain that left me devastated angry and abandoned. I was able to feel some healing