I would be lighter and more at peace. I do however have a contested divorce process which hangs in the background.This is more than likely going to be my situation for a long time. Roughly between 2 – 3 years. I live in France and between complicated French law, my circumstances and my age, I do still find this divorce difficult to emotionally navigate sometimes. The Covid 19 lockdown hasn’t helped of course! I have forgiven my ex-husband …… though technically we’re still married…….. but it’s difficult at times. The outcome of our divorce will have to be decided by a court of law. The balance of being open to my emotional reality and not getting caught up in my mind’s incessant voice is my biggest challenge. I would like to say however that I do find your voice and teachings a great comfort. Thank you.
(Professional Yoga teacher)
I will be more relaxed and able to be myself again. I will let go of my insecurities and self doubts. And will probably have better relationships with my loved ones.
I would be more at peace. Thank you for this first step in what would be a long process (and practice!) when coming from a traumatic history. Blessings to you as well.
Cheryl Factor, Marriage/Family Therapy, South Easton, MA, USAsays
I would be able to let my vulnerability show without shame, jealously, anger. I feel judgment and chronic blame keeps me stuck in toxic negative beliefs, thoughts, feelings. I really think allowing myself to be vulnerable during the exercises you gave during this training, really opened my heart up to a place I had never been before. Putting my hand on my heart, using my nick-name as a child and talking to myself with much compassion brought out emotions in me (crying, sobbing) that I haven’t felt (like that) maybe ever. The reason, I think was, that I was actually in the process of self-compassion, but this time, it was very real. The emotions just surfaced, it seems from a very deep place. Even as you were speaking, before you gave us the exercises, I was teary-eyed and sometimes sobbing. It allowed me to realize and accept that letting go of judgment and chronic blame was more important that I ever realized. I am a Mental Health Therapist and I think this is such a helpful tool that I can teach my clients. I was really searching for a way to get rid of self-blame and judgment , nor only for myself, but my clients as well. Thanks for this and for all you do.
Letting go of (self)judgment, blame and stepping out of the trance has made my life so much lighter. I am really growing into a life that I deeply love, no matter what.
As a communication therapist I like to associate different ways of working on connection (i.e. nonviolent communication, focusing and mindfulness). I recognize and like to combine many aspects presented in your work.
Thank you for this series of video’s (and for all your easily accessible information)! I find them very inspiring.
These 3 specific short talks are a very clear and consise support both for me personally and in my work. I often recommend your books and website and keep enjoying the way you combine knowledge and your own experience in theory and practical stories.
Honestly, I found it difficult to connect with the U Turn exercise. Self criticism and self blame are two of the most pervasive and persistent patterns I encounter as a therapist, and experience as a person.
I would be lighter, happier, and freer. I would not have to hold on to negative emotions that cause me distress and pain. They can be allowed to move through me, and not have to stick around clouding my view points.
When I let go of judgement and blame, rumination dissipates naturally, I feel lighter, and I am able to move past stuck and focus on other things. I become more empathetic, able to put myself in others’ shoes.
Thank you for your good work. Letting go of old stories and wounds is complex and difficult. Finding new ways of creating internal spaciousness, kindness and with a clearer sense of boundaries is vital to feeling safe, alive and resilient.. The U-turn prompt helped me focus on unmet parts of myself still longing for attention. The power of what happens when I open my own heart to compassion (self first), is transformative. I look forward to more learning with you.
Thank you Tara. You inspire me to be more mindful and compassionate towards myself and others. Your voice is so easy to listen to. Thanks again.
Hugs, Wanda
I am wondering as, I was going through the comments to see if I am the only one who experience the level of pain and fear and vulnerability, I stopped by your comment. As a psychologist, have you too been through these emotional trauma.
Since you are a psychologist (who is expert to the field of mindfulness) how difficult was it for you to come out of the situation??
Your suggestions may help/motivate to look beyond.
Thanks.
Wonderful metaphors Tara. There is such turmoil outside & inside of us. I will use the “U-turn” & the “leg in a trap” metaphor with myself & my clients!
Loved the image of the person approaching the dog, the dog barking and realizing what was making the fog bark. If we could always ask ourselves what is causing this person to be so . . We would have more compassion for then, less angry and not take things so personally. Thank you for that vivid illustration.
Sheila Henchy, Teacher, Port Washington, NY, USAsays
I’d be free for the first time in 68 years. Self-blame and blame of those who have hurt me have locked me in a prison of pain for decades. I see these new insights as the path toward freedom and peace. I look forward to hearing more about the full program.
I found this these shift in attention and focus to deepen the awareness of my own experience, uncovering a fear that existed deep within me that I did not consciously know was there. It brought a new light to my experience and allowed me to offer care to that fear. In turn, considering the vulnerability of “the other” shifted me away from blame and judgment toward understanding and compassion.
A situation, an event I had seen dualistically, as an either or proposition, became a both and situation with the promise or potential of a deeper resolving and connection.
Very difficult to do when my partner continues to reinjure, the same issues over and over, I am working on the self compassion, it helps to stay present and honour who I am, thank you for your words of wisdom and your gentle kindness
I was very moved Tara by your beautiful teaching. It surprised me how much sadness still sits under this old wound I carry. It was lovely to bring some intentional kindness to it, with your gentle guiding. Thanks so much.
Very helpful for me personally and for my work with clients. I loved the picture of the heartspace as the ocean! Thanks so much for these short but very effective exercises!
Tara, I find these practices to be immensely helpful. I’m very grateful to you for these teachings. I now feel like I have a way to soothe and comfort myself when I am suffering. It’s empowering to know how to take care of myself rather than to ruminate about what’s hurting me.
It’s been a lifeboat!
I am a psychologist. These teachings have helped me to help the others I work with in a clinical setting. Thank you!!!
I am wondering as, I was going through the comments to see if I am the only one who experience the level of pain and fear and vulnerability, I stopped by your comment. As a psychologist, have you too been through these emotional trauma.
Since you are a psychologist (who is expert to the field of mindfulness) how difficult was it for you to come out of the situation??
Your suggestions may help/motivate to look beyond.
Thanks.
Wendy Werstlein, Another Field, Floyd, VA, USAsays
It was challenging to engage in the u-turn. I could hear clearly that a protective part of me is so afraid to move away from my defenses. And touching into compassion for that protective part as well as other injured parts is so challenging. Thank you for the videos.
I would be less reactive, less burdened with the anticipation of an unpleasant experience which would be replaced by being more accepting and finding joy in the present occasion. There can be toxicity in expecting disappointments. It can cause one to seek it or magnify them.
As a Buddhist, with past traumas, how do I stop my brain from writing the stories around potential hurt from my partner. I can see the struggle on her part, I can see my pain, but how do I manage both with compassion, and still get the security I need to feel safe, because we both love each other but need to get past this hurdle of sexual identity
I enjoyed your offering, and feel inspired. I have previously purchased the NICABM’s series on compassion approaches to treating trauma. I look forward to your series.
Difficult in practice
Can we get a transcript of these 3 videos? I have difficulty absorbing all the details when feeling my own past trauma
I would be lighter and more at peace. I do however have a contested divorce process which hangs in the background.This is more than likely going to be my situation for a long time. Roughly between 2 – 3 years. I live in France and between complicated French law, my circumstances and my age, I do still find this divorce difficult to emotionally navigate sometimes. The Covid 19 lockdown hasn’t helped of course! I have forgiven my ex-husband …… though technically we’re still married…….. but it’s difficult at times. The outcome of our divorce will have to be decided by a court of law. The balance of being open to my emotional reality and not getting caught up in my mind’s incessant voice is my biggest challenge. I would like to say however that I do find your voice and teachings a great comfort. Thank you.
(Professional Yoga teacher)
I will be more relaxed and able to be myself again. I will let go of my insecurities and self doubts. And will probably have better relationships with my loved ones.
We must have compassion for ourselves first then great compassion for others will follow – Bodhicitta.
I would feel lighter, more open and more present.
I would be more at peace. Thank you for this first step in what would be a long process (and practice!) when coming from a traumatic history. Blessings to you as well.
I would be more connected and resilient. More present in the world.
I would be able to let my vulnerability show without shame, jealously, anger. I feel judgment and chronic blame keeps me stuck in toxic negative beliefs, thoughts, feelings. I really think allowing myself to be vulnerable during the exercises you gave during this training, really opened my heart up to a place I had never been before. Putting my hand on my heart, using my nick-name as a child and talking to myself with much compassion brought out emotions in me (crying, sobbing) that I haven’t felt (like that) maybe ever. The reason, I think was, that I was actually in the process of self-compassion, but this time, it was very real. The emotions just surfaced, it seems from a very deep place. Even as you were speaking, before you gave us the exercises, I was teary-eyed and sometimes sobbing. It allowed me to realize and accept that letting go of judgment and chronic blame was more important that I ever realized. I am a Mental Health Therapist and I think this is such a helpful tool that I can teach my clients. I was really searching for a way to get rid of self-blame and judgment , nor only for myself, but my clients as well. Thanks for this and for all you do.
Letting go of (self)judgment, blame and stepping out of the trance has made my life so much lighter. I am really growing into a life that I deeply love, no matter what.
As a communication therapist I like to associate different ways of working on connection (i.e. nonviolent communication, focusing and mindfulness). I recognize and like to combine many aspects presented in your work.
Thank you for this series of video’s (and for all your easily accessible information)! I find them very inspiring.
These 3 specific short talks are a very clear and consise support both for me personally and in my work. I often recommend your books and website and keep enjoying the way you combine knowledge and your own experience in theory and practical stories.
Honestly, I found it difficult to connect with the U Turn exercise. Self criticism and self blame are two of the most pervasive and persistent patterns I encounter as a therapist, and experience as a person.
I would be lighter, happier, and freer. I would not have to hold on to negative emotions that cause me distress and pain. They can be allowed to move through me, and not have to stick around clouding my view points.
A more compassionate person. Seeing someone that has hurt you as wounded themselves creates a sense of compassion for myself as well
I would be a happier, healthier human living my life with joy and confidence.
I would be a happier, more confident human. I would be living true to myself.
I would be healthier in body and spirit.
When I let go of judgement and blame, rumination dissipates naturally, I feel lighter, and I am able to move past stuck and focus on other things. I become more empathetic, able to put myself in others’ shoes.
Thank you for your good work. Letting go of old stories and wounds is complex and difficult. Finding new ways of creating internal spaciousness, kindness and with a clearer sense of boundaries is vital to feeling safe, alive and resilient.. The U-turn prompt helped me focus on unmet parts of myself still longing for attention. The power of what happens when I open my own heart to compassion (self first), is transformative. I look forward to more learning with you.
Thank you Tara. You inspire me to be more mindful and compassionate towards myself and others. Your voice is so easy to listen to. Thanks again.
Hugs, Wanda
I would be free of fear and more able to show compassion.
I would be a more open and accepting person, both to myself and to others, meeting self and others with compassion and understanding.
I am wondering as, I was going through the comments to see if I am the only one who experience the level of pain and fear and vulnerability, I stopped by your comment. As a psychologist, have you too been through these emotional trauma.
Since you are a psychologist (who is expert to the field of mindfulness) how difficult was it for you to come out of the situation??
Your suggestions may help/motivate to look beyond.
Thanks.
Wonderful metaphors Tara. There is such turmoil outside & inside of us. I will use the “U-turn” & the “leg in a trap” metaphor with myself & my clients!
Loved the image of the person approaching the dog, the dog barking and realizing what was making the fog bark. If we could always ask ourselves what is causing this person to be so . . We would have more compassion for then, less angry and not take things so personally. Thank you for that vivid illustration.
Love the trap analogy. Shifting out of self judgement and into self compassion is very helpful. Loved this session. Thank you.
Free of fear and at peace
I’d be free for the first time in 68 years. Self-blame and blame of those who have hurt me have locked me in a prison of pain for decades. I see these new insights as the path toward freedom and peace. I look forward to hearing more about the full program.
I would be much happier
I would be a happier freer person. Thank you for helping me “unglue” from a current story by applying the u-turn and self compassion.
Such wonderful advice!
I found this these shift in attention and focus to deepen the awareness of my own experience, uncovering a fear that existed deep within me that I did not consciously know was there. It brought a new light to my experience and allowed me to offer care to that fear. In turn, considering the vulnerability of “the other” shifted me away from blame and judgment toward understanding and compassion.
A situation, an event I had seen dualistically, as an either or proposition, became a both and situation with the promise or potential of a deeper resolving and connection.
Thank you.
I could have a mind & emotions released from the old tapes of blame, victimhood and self righteousness.
Very difficult to do when my partner continues to reinjure, the same issues over and over, I am working on the self compassion, it helps to stay present and honour who I am, thank you for your words of wisdom and your gentle kindness
I would see the other being as I want to be seen, as a human being, vulnerable with a great capacity for love. Thank you so much Tara?
I would be free, full of love and deeply connected to myself and my environment
Free and evolved.
I was very moved Tara by your beautiful teaching. It surprised me how much sadness still sits under this old wound I carry. It was lovely to bring some intentional kindness to it, with your gentle guiding. Thanks so much.
Very helpful for me personally and for my work with clients. I loved the picture of the heartspace as the ocean! Thanks so much for these short but very effective exercises!
Tara, I find these practices to be immensely helpful. I’m very grateful to you for these teachings. I now feel like I have a way to soothe and comfort myself when I am suffering. It’s empowering to know how to take care of myself rather than to ruminate about what’s hurting me.
It’s been a lifeboat!
I am a psychologist. These teachings have helped me to help the others I work with in a clinical setting. Thank you!!!
I am wondering as, I was going through the comments to see if I am the only one who experience the level of pain and fear and vulnerability, I stopped by your comment. As a psychologist, have you too been through these emotional trauma.
Since you are a psychologist (who is expert to the field of mindfulness) how difficult was it for you to come out of the situation??
Your suggestions may help/motivate to look beyond.
Thanks.
It was challenging to engage in the u-turn. I could hear clearly that a protective part of me is so afraid to move away from my defenses. And touching into compassion for that protective part as well as other injured parts is so challenging. Thank you for the videos.
I would be free
I would be calm, open, softer and feel free, probably more loving.
Hi thank you I was very moved by this and my emotions were strong as I gave compassion to myself, I realised I don’t do it very often if at all
I find myself really not wanting to understand the person that hurt me. There’s a strong resistance.
Free videos are very helpful. Thanks
I would be less reactive, less burdened with the anticipation of an unpleasant experience which would be replaced by being more accepting and finding joy in the present occasion. There can be toxicity in expecting disappointments. It can cause one to seek it or magnify them.
As a Buddhist, with past traumas, how do I stop my brain from writing the stories around potential hurt from my partner. I can see the struggle on her part, I can see my pain, but how do I manage both with compassion, and still get the security I need to feel safe, because we both love each other but need to get past this hurdle of sexual identity
I would be kinder to myself and others and be at peace with all things. ❤️
I would feel more connected with the ones I love <3
I enjoyed your offering, and feel inspired. I have previously purchased the NICABM’s series on compassion approaches to treating trauma. I look forward to your series.