Thanks for the wonderful awareness that is possible when we pay attention to our own judgment and our own ability to turn inwards and provide support and love to our inner critic/self.
It is life’changing!
As soon as I shifted my awareness from judgment to self-compassion, I did feel a big shift in my being!! Instantly more love and space filled my heart and my whole feeling of self. A feeling that felt “I am enough, I am ok!”
Right now I have Covid and so I experienced just a sense of waiting for this to be over. I wasn’t able to connect to anything deeper than that at this moment
thank you for this. I do struggle in this area and really appreciate this video…as I listened and enjoyed I felt a sense of calm come over me. I am walking through some challenging stuff in my family. but the key is ‘walking through’ not being stuck in guilt or shame or unworthiness. For Today.
🙏
Cynthia
Well there was a lot of resistance to bring kindness to the feeling of not being successful in what I do, the judgement was strong, but the feeling that it will come when automatically when I am ready came in, trusting the process.
When I realized tough feelings and emotions (that I sort of pushed away unconsciously), I felt a warm internal urge to hug and console myself. Interesting… Never felt like that before.
I found at first I didn’t know what I was feeling… then I felt a little restless, a little anxiousness, the type that makes me get up and go to the kitchen when I am working from home, looking for food I am not hungry for. When I asked ‘can I be with this with kindness’ my whole upper body softened, from the inside out. A subtle shift, a knowing, this was a small step in the right direction.
William "Bill" Larson, Health Education, Burbank, CA, USAsays
Bringing kindness into negative feelings of myself remain present but not always consciously in my mind. When they do become active they often are active in punishing ruminations causing shame and depression. Your video reminds me of the self and guided meditations of the past that did offer some relief resolution to continue group and individual therapy along with meditation.
“What’s the point…..this never changes…..feel so covered and surrounded by murky darkness doesn’t feel like anything else is posible.”
Dark thoughts keep intruding and heavy emotions pervade ….. walking and activities and meditation often doesn’t shift it. Feels old and defeating to be here in this familiar place where Felt Sense seems slippery and vague….. Feeling very exhausted by overefforting and trying trying trying all my life and still am stuck here again. Sadness.
That sadness and stuckness (boy, do I relate to this!) is exactly where we need to go and to be and to hold gently. That’s what Tara is referring to: it’s NOT easy. Especially when it feels so all-encompassing and all the evidence seems to say that the well of negativity will never run dry.
I wish you – and us all – the perseverance we need to keep summoning the mindfulness and the self-compassion that will, at whatever pace, heal and open our hearts.
I struggle with this everyday. I feel I’m an imposter when working with clients. I try to invoke acceptance and self compassion in other’s yet struggling to practice this myself,
Most of my life I felt not good enough. I have listened to several of your talks and I feel much kinder to myself and I also now cringe when I hear my friends beat themselves up. It is a good reminder to me because that is what I used to do
I noticed how significant my fear of failure is and how it has at times stopped my short. My kindness message is that it’s ok to be afraid and to keep moving forward.
I connected with my fear of exposure. How I’m afraid to be honest about where I’m at and who I am, because maybe I will be judged by others, and not met with the kindness and acceptance I long for. As I met this fear with my own kindness and acceptance, I realized I was providing to myself the very thing I am longing for. It was empowering to experience this need being met right here myself. I was being my own best friend, like you described in your story. I soaked up the kindness and felt my fear melt a little.
I am more open to un learning and relearning to appreciate growth and transformation. When I am staying with the feeling of fear of loving stopping and grasping with my right hand and arm and felt held as I hug myself, it would bring me back to a happy time that I have consciously lived and it gives me hope. Embracing the warm and a sense of being protected and letting go the fear and the tears flow.
I felt resentment for needing to accept myself with kindness! Resentment is an ongoing knee jerk response that I’ve observed in myself for decades. I’m 79 now and started mindful practice during the pandemic. The resentment colors my self perception and that of others I interact with. It’s painful, unproductive, and stubborn. But hard to stop. So maybe if I just accept the resentment, as a feeling, with kindness instead of being a shortcoming I can reduce it’s impact and increase my in-the-moment awareness of just what is.
I’m looking forward to the next next talk. Thank you for making this available.
yesterday was a hard one since I was doing some maintenance chores in my bathroom, things did not all go according to plan, and it took almost 10 hours for a “simple” task. Plus my body is now tired and sore. I was able to reframe the tired, frustrated, disappointment to WOW – I are getting this done! And at my age, I can still do all this physical work. And I will enjoy the results of my labor,
I felt like I was tenderly caring for a little girl and she was me.
You have helped and guided me beyond words, Tara ~ warmest blessings to you.
I truly love you with a grateful heart xx
deep felt emotions and feelings do not present easily to me, unless of course they rage up or are very strong. i numb freeze or deny automatically .. this is a norm for me. i am trying to , with compassion, to raise awarenss and allow true feelings to emerge.
I’ve been struggling for a whole long life to like myself. Meditation itself is such a challenge for me but I truly believe that there is a way through somehow. I have been hearing the call (from Thich Nhat Hanh and from some leaders within Bipoc communities of which I am not a part myself) to connect with ancestors. There is a lot of trauma and afflictive emotions connected with those explorations. I feel like I have to work with this lack of trust and antipathy and find compassion and forgiveness within myself.
Hello Tara ,
Hope my email finds you in the best of everything.
This is Mehnaz Amjad, writing you from India, Hyderabad.
What Happened when I tried to bring kindness to what I was experiencing during the video?
As I closed my eyes, I could find my very younger self almost 7 years old before me, and as I keep telling her how self-unaware she has been, I’m now 41, how naive, sometimes way too dumb she has been the very similar way, she was when she was very young and was thus duped at some many levels by so many people
The poor me stood before me
It also brought to my notice how unfortunate and non-inclusive I have been most of my life the very reason why I have been a loner
But things shifted when I treated her(my very young self) with kindness and let go of the crazy fixation on being just perfect!
I felt emotional and often times choked, this was also when in the past I did an inner child, guided meditation, and sobbed at my own pitiable self, which I hated , because I always wanted to be a warrior 🙂
A touch of kindness just melts my hard side and I am awestruck with it .
Hi Tara, everything you said gave me a sense of recognition and I became overwhelmed by sadness and started crying. It just happined. I tried to tell myself it was all right to cry and look at it with kindness but I felt something heavy was in the way there. Now I feel a bit empty, as of you very very slightly opened a door a very tiny bit. Thank you. It will be hard for me to accept myself for who I am as I wrestle with that my entire life already but I trust you.🙏🏻
Love, Marlies
Thank you for this offering, Tara. I stopped meditating sometime during the pandemic, and my mental health really suffered. As I try to get back to myself, this video helps. I feel that I am always running and there is never time to sit and be with the pain, perhaps that’s why I am always busy. The metaphor of mental jail really speaks to me, and I think I’m my biggest abuser. I am always trying to put another challenge in front of me, another bar, and beating myself up for my shortcomings. I felt deep sadness when I closed my eyes, but also a realization that what I’m going through is really hard and I need to give myself a break. Maybe it’s time to read Radical Acceptance again. Thank you for all that you do.
Thanks for the wonderful awareness that is possible when we pay attention to our own judgment and our own ability to turn inwards and provide support and love to our inner critic/self.
It is life’changing!
I began to feel less anxious, less
Judging of myself for making a decision that may not please others.
As soon as I shifted my awareness from judgment to self-compassion, I did feel a big shift in my being!! Instantly more love and space filled my heart and my whole feeling of self. A feeling that felt “I am enough, I am ok!”
Right now I have Covid and so I experienced just a sense of waiting for this to be over. I wasn’t able to connect to anything deeper than that at this moment
thank you for this. I do struggle in this area and really appreciate this video…as I listened and enjoyed I felt a sense of calm come over me. I am walking through some challenging stuff in my family. but the key is ‘walking through’ not being stuck in guilt or shame or unworthiness. For Today.
🙏
Cynthia
I found a chasm that I couldn’t cross and an understanding that I will need to work on this.
I felt a bit relieved and a sense of warmth.
Well there was a lot of resistance to bring kindness to the feeling of not being successful in what I do, the judgement was strong, but the feeling that it will come when automatically when I am ready came in, trusting the process.
When I realized tough feelings and emotions (that I sort of pushed away unconsciously), I felt a warm internal urge to hug and console myself. Interesting… Never felt like that before.
Felt a shift in how i felt towards my self to be more loving and kind to me
Found it hard at an emotional level to not judge myself.
The strong feelings lessened in intensity.
i recognised my breath became short, during meditation…i tried to bring kindness to my breath… i feel more calm…then, my breath comes back to normal…
I felt a shift in my attitude, I felt empathetic.
I realised that the closeness with family I’d been missing was already there.
I found at first I didn’t know what I was feeling… then I felt a little restless, a little anxiousness, the type that makes me get up and go to the kitchen when I am working from home, looking for food I am not hungry for. When I asked ‘can I be with this with kindness’ my whole upper body softened, from the inside out. A subtle shift, a knowing, this was a small step in the right direction.
I felt warmth and calmness.
I felt a softening in my body and mind and emotions. A degree of letting go.
I offered myself compassion, something rare to me.
Bringing kindness into negative feelings of myself remain present but not always consciously in my mind. When they do become active they often are active in punishing ruminations causing shame and depression. Your video reminds me of the self and guided meditations of the past that did offer some relief resolution to continue group and individual therapy along with meditation.
Giving me hope
I became less anxious and more curious
“What’s the point…..this never changes…..feel so covered and surrounded by murky darkness doesn’t feel like anything else is posible.”
Dark thoughts keep intruding and heavy emotions pervade ….. walking and activities and meditation often doesn’t shift it. Feels old and defeating to be here in this familiar place where Felt Sense seems slippery and vague….. Feeling very exhausted by overefforting and trying trying trying all my life and still am stuck here again. Sadness.
I feel this too Lucy
That sadness and stuckness (boy, do I relate to this!) is exactly where we need to go and to be and to hold gently. That’s what Tara is referring to: it’s NOT easy. Especially when it feels so all-encompassing and all the evidence seems to say that the well of negativity will never run dry.
I wish you – and us all – the perseverance we need to keep summoning the mindfulness and the self-compassion that will, at whatever pace, heal and open our hearts.
I struggle with this everyday. I feel I’m an imposter when working with clients. I try to invoke acceptance and self compassion in other’s yet struggling to practice this myself,
Most of my life I felt not good enough. I have listened to several of your talks and I feel much kinder to myself and I also now cringe when I hear my friends beat themselves up. It is a good reminder to me because that is what I used to do
I noticed how significant my fear of failure is and how it has at times stopped my short. My kindness message is that it’s ok to be afraid and to keep moving forward.
I connected with my fear of exposure. How I’m afraid to be honest about where I’m at and who I am, because maybe I will be judged by others, and not met with the kindness and acceptance I long for. As I met this fear with my own kindness and acceptance, I realized I was providing to myself the very thing I am longing for. It was empowering to experience this need being met right here myself. I was being my own best friend, like you described in your story. I soaked up the kindness and felt my fear melt a little.
I am more open to un learning and relearning to appreciate growth and transformation. When I am staying with the feeling of fear of loving stopping and grasping with my right hand and arm and felt held as I hug myself, it would bring me back to a happy time that I have consciously lived and it gives me hope. Embracing the warm and a sense of being protected and letting go the fear and the tears flow.
It got me thinking about what I can actually do to address the questions that I struggle with over and over again – and raised more questions
I felt resentment for needing to accept myself with kindness! Resentment is an ongoing knee jerk response that I’ve observed in myself for decades. I’m 79 now and started mindful practice during the pandemic. The resentment colors my self perception and that of others I interact with. It’s painful, unproductive, and stubborn. But hard to stop. So maybe if I just accept the resentment, as a feeling, with kindness instead of being a shortcoming I can reduce it’s impact and increase my in-the-moment awareness of just what is.
I’m looking forward to the next next talk. Thank you for making this available.
staying with the feeling it softens
Breath better
I felt relieved
I felt a sense of warmth around my aching heart in addition to the sadness I am carrying.
yesterday was a hard one since I was doing some maintenance chores in my bathroom, things did not all go according to plan, and it took almost 10 hours for a “simple” task. Plus my body is now tired and sore. I was able to reframe the tired, frustrated, disappointment to WOW – I are getting this done! And at my age, I can still do all this physical work. And I will enjoy the results of my labor,
A decrease in tension. A sense of calmness.
I felt overwhelmed with hurt and vulnerability, and overwhelming sadness that this little girl still Carrie’s the wounds of childhood.
The feeling I was experiencing was disconnection. When I brought in Kindness, I felt sad, and this began to move. Thankyou 🙂
Some of my harshness towards myself began to melt a little. This lack of kindness towards myself causes much tears for me.
I felt like I was tenderly caring for a little girl and she was me.
You have helped and guided me beyond words, Tara ~ warmest blessings to you.
I truly love you with a grateful heart xx
deep felt emotions and feelings do not present easily to me, unless of course they rage up or are very strong. i numb freeze or deny automatically .. this is a norm for me. i am trying to , with compassion, to raise awarenss and allow true feelings to emerge.
Ditto. It’s tough but I’m trying as well.
it allowed me to release tears, which is something that almost never happens to me although I am aware I really need to do so
I’ve been struggling for a whole long life to like myself. Meditation itself is such a challenge for me but I truly believe that there is a way through somehow. I have been hearing the call (from Thich Nhat Hanh and from some leaders within Bipoc communities of which I am not a part myself) to connect with ancestors. There is a lot of trauma and afflictive emotions connected with those explorations. I feel like I have to work with this lack of trust and antipathy and find compassion and forgiveness within myself.
My shoulders were softening, this felt like a release and gave me more space in mind.
Thank you so much Tara.
I found I questioned myself so now I’m just going to go with the first thing I feel. Thank you for starting my day in a different way.
Hello Tara ,
Hope my email finds you in the best of everything.
This is Mehnaz Amjad, writing you from India, Hyderabad.
What Happened when I tried to bring kindness to what I was experiencing during the video?
As I closed my eyes, I could find my very younger self almost 7 years old before me, and as I keep telling her how self-unaware she has been, I’m now 41, how naive, sometimes way too dumb she has been the very similar way, she was when she was very young and was thus duped at some many levels by so many people
The poor me stood before me
It also brought to my notice how unfortunate and non-inclusive I have been most of my life the very reason why I have been a loner
But things shifted when I treated her(my very young self) with kindness and let go of the crazy fixation on being just perfect!
I felt emotional and often times choked, this was also when in the past I did an inner child, guided meditation, and sobbed at my own pitiable self, which I hated , because I always wanted to be a warrior 🙂
A touch of kindness just melts my hard side and I am awestruck with it .
Hi Tara, everything you said gave me a sense of recognition and I became overwhelmed by sadness and started crying. It just happined. I tried to tell myself it was all right to cry and look at it with kindness but I felt something heavy was in the way there. Now I feel a bit empty, as of you very very slightly opened a door a very tiny bit. Thank you. It will be hard for me to accept myself for who I am as I wrestle with that my entire life already but I trust you.🙏🏻
Love, Marlies
Instead of the contraction I felt at the idea of not being good enough, I felt an inner expansion and trust that I could face this.
It is difficult to be to kind to yourself sometimes. But it is powerful to notice tgis what’s going on for me.
Thank you for this offering, Tara. I stopped meditating sometime during the pandemic, and my mental health really suffered. As I try to get back to myself, this video helps. I feel that I am always running and there is never time to sit and be with the pain, perhaps that’s why I am always busy. The metaphor of mental jail really speaks to me, and I think I’m my biggest abuser. I am always trying to put another challenge in front of me, another bar, and beating myself up for my shortcomings. I felt deep sadness when I closed my eyes, but also a realization that what I’m going through is really hard and I need to give myself a break. Maybe it’s time to read Radical Acceptance again. Thank you for all that you do.
The sadness felt softer and I accepted its presence as being ok