I found this exercise very helpful. Likening the heart space to the ocean was useful. I also felt the heart space to be a joining of all hearts around the world to become one which has the capacity to melt our individual anguish.
Kasandra Link-Charles, Social Work, San Antonio, TX, USAsays
This process allowed me to see, feel and acknowledge the reason for my cycle is hurt, shame and blame, understanding it is not productive, my so called defense mechanism was blocking my heart from feeling vulnerable to love and allowing the other person to truly live free of condemnation. Especially when they changed their ways…….
I feel a release but know this will take time to stay in the place.
I think this will take me much practice for too long I’ve blamed myself and carried shame. When I noticed that I also became more aware of my intense pain which I’ve carried for many years….. But I managed eventually to tell my younger self that it’s okay I’m okay. But I feel this will take much practice but I found thinking about the 2 arrows incredibly helpful
Thank you 🙏
I went to a place in my body where I am suffering a lot of pain .. I Realised that I have been feeling anger towards this, because it is hampering my life. I had a sense of relaxation of the muscles that I had been tensing against the pain (which ironically I see now was making it worse). Then I felt a rush of loving kindness towards a friend whom I had judged recently .. I could see more clearly that they had been hurting too, and felt the urge to rush over to give this friend a very big hug instead, as I suddenly saw their pain and how my judgement must have made it worse.
I became aware of my body around my heart and eventually the space of the room I was sitting in. My voice expressed a tenderness that I didn’t know I was capable of—how I long to speak to my husband and child.
The selfobserving and feeling the bodysensations and the emotions and thoughts gives space and helps to stop all the ruminating. Than the step to self nurture is a big one and needs much practice.
In the same time a glimpse of the oceaan is there.
The metaphors of the arrow, the two wings of the bird and the oceaan and the waves are very helpful.
Thanks for guiding❤️
I was surprised at how my thoughts so quickly and powerfully turned into physical pain. Tapping into my heart space then really did make a difference while silently telling myself “it’s OK”. Great exercise and advice.
Noticing the second arrow has been very helpful in working with emotional energy. Tricky and sticky. My second arrow is most always shame or blame. Using Duck Meditation, which makes me smile, as a visualization helps to give it needed space. Thanks for that Tara. I have adopted a short phrase for the heart space, Be still Mark, I love you!
Being someone always caught inside the vicious cycles of perfectionism, I think this counsel is important. I recently began telling myself, “I am worthy of love, just as I am.” That immediately began to have an impact on my internal experience. I didn’t have “be better” to be worthy of love. I have a mother who always told me that I wasn’t worthy of love. There was always something that I had to improve in order to win her love and to be worthy of love from others. That transferred into my adult life. Now at 55 years old and my relationship with my mother finally over, it is quite empowering to be able to affirm myself with the words, “I am enough and worthy of love just as I am.”
Stephen Roberts, Psychotherapy, New Braunfels, TX, USAsays
It reminded me that I need to practice this more often. Each time I practice this process I find subtler and subtler layers of self judgement. I know in my heart that I can accept and release whatever comes up. I am the ocean and I’m not afraid of the waves. Thanks 🙂
I would need more time to do this exercise. The image of the two arrows seems to be too strong to me although I can understand the meaning. But I like the three steps.
Lindsey Brooks, Another Field, Centreville, VA, USAsays
Overwhelmed with emotions. Hand on heart, two hands on heart, tears, anger, I don’t know any other way than to blame myself. There is a lot of resistance. Starting to get anxious, restless, what time is it? I should be walking? What are you doing? A walk would be more helpful. Thoughts are bombarding me.
I thank you, Tara, for sharing your painful experience. It’s not easy. But it helps so much. During this exercise, I was reminded how I tend to be a perfectionist and judgmental but only about myself. With others, I’m more forgiving and understanding.. Because of your help with opening my heart space, I feel motivated to start treating myself more the way I treat others. I want to be more of a friend to myself. I want to have more gratitude for all that comes my way-positive or negative.
I am so grateful to you!
Namaste🙏
I think I need a longer guided time with this one. It was harder for me to access. Not sure why. Maybe because this is a difficult area? I don’t even realize when I’m using that second arrow, judging myself.
Being kind to myself does not come easy. I tend to be harsh on myself either by thinking I’m not good enough for someone or something or by allowing others to pass judgement.
When I tried to do the heart space task. I didn’t find it easy because I’m not good at comforting myself. But it will be something I will practice more often.
I initially felt depletion and emptiness on lower jaw on my face, throat and upper chest. With the exercise afterwards I felt a sense of lightness around these areas.
Probably the most powerful question ever: “What am I unwilling (aka afraid) to feel?” Wow. For me, that was opening myself to feelings of inadequacy, unworthiness, and fear. It was hard to show kindness to this part of me… I’ve always tried to hide it. Like many of the posts I’ve been reading, it made me want to cry.
Nathaniel Ross, Another Field, Wakefield, MA, USAsays
I immediately noticed a tension, mostly in my chest. I put my hand here and gently held it against my chest. I told myself it’s ok, it’s ok. Then I was able to relax and let go of the monetary tension that came up.
I felt my emotions arise to tears. I am being so hard on myself. I am blaming myself and others for their imperfections. Holding myself and others to very high standard. I was able to move from head to heart and getting there on heartspace.
The video of the ocean that was used brought a very calming image to my mind. That the waves, no matter how large, are really just a very small part of a deep and peaceful ocean that is calm by natural design. That is where the heart lives.
I thought the suggestion of visualizing the ocean and the waves when we are fearful, anxious or in pain was a good one. I put my hands on my heart and acknowledged that this was ok and a part of normalcy. It helped me realize that the waves do pass and that calm will return.
I remembered my time last night from 3 AM to 6 AM. I woke up with fear of losing my husband, and being alone. I allowed these thoughts and then moved into my body as to where I felt them. I saw myself as a teenager carrying a lot of excess fat feeling so so lonely. I tried so hard to just hold that little girl and give her love and soon a peacefulness came. I was able to except my husband’s conversation about death, he said it makes him feel more alive when he can except the death. And we love each other more. I am forever grateful for all your practises.
The teachings are simple and profound, but sorry to say the background music spoils the message and the mood.
At first it didn’t feel natural but after being there for a bit with focus it felt very nurturing and loving, leading to a blissful kind of freedom.
I found this exercise very helpful. Likening the heart space to the ocean was useful. I also felt the heart space to be a joining of all hearts around the world to become one which has the capacity to melt our individual anguish.
I could feel my chest lighten
This process allowed me to see, feel and acknowledge the reason for my cycle is hurt, shame and blame, understanding it is not productive, my so called defense mechanism was blocking my heart from feeling vulnerable to love and allowing the other person to truly live free of condemnation. Especially when they changed their ways…….
I feel a release but know this will take time to stay in the place.
Easier..
I think this will take me much practice for too long I’ve blamed myself and carried shame. When I noticed that I also became more aware of my intense pain which I’ve carried for many years….. But I managed eventually to tell my younger self that it’s okay I’m okay. But I feel this will take much practice but I found thinking about the 2 arrows incredibly helpful
Thank you 🙏
I could feel my hearts space fille with kindness and self compassion
I went to a place in my body where I am suffering a lot of pain .. I Realised that I have been feeling anger towards this, because it is hampering my life. I had a sense of relaxation of the muscles that I had been tensing against the pain (which ironically I see now was making it worse). Then I felt a rush of loving kindness towards a friend whom I had judged recently .. I could see more clearly that they had been hurting too, and felt the urge to rush over to give this friend a very big hug instead, as I suddenly saw their pain and how my judgement must have made it worse.
I became aware of my body around my heart and eventually the space of the room I was sitting in. My voice expressed a tenderness that I didn’t know I was capable of—how I long to speak to my husband and child.
The selfobserving and feeling the bodysensations and the emotions and thoughts gives space and helps to stop all the ruminating. Than the step to self nurture is a big one and needs much practice.
In the same time a glimpse of the oceaan is there.
The metaphors of the arrow, the two wings of the bird and the oceaan and the waves are very helpful.
Thanks for guiding❤️
I felt comforted & more at ease.
Love the integration of head and heart
Thank you – I‘m still Rolling the Boulder uphill. But I have hope.
I came into awareness that I can accept and love my inner self without judging it.
I felt bigger and more open.
I was surprised at how my thoughts so quickly and powerfully turned into physical pain. Tapping into my heart space then really did make a difference while silently telling myself “it’s OK”. Great exercise and advice.
Noticing the second arrow has been very helpful in working with emotional energy. Tricky and sticky. My second arrow is most always shame or blame. Using Duck Meditation, which makes me smile, as a visualization helps to give it needed space. Thanks for that Tara. I have adopted a short phrase for the heart space, Be still Mark, I love you!
I felt a loosening of the judgmental thoughts, though still there I didn’t feel as connected with them.
A softening, a relief and a feeling of taking back some control rather than feeling overwhelmed by external demands.
Being someone always caught inside the vicious cycles of perfectionism, I think this counsel is important. I recently began telling myself, “I am worthy of love, just as I am.” That immediately began to have an impact on my internal experience. I didn’t have “be better” to be worthy of love. I have a mother who always told me that I wasn’t worthy of love. There was always something that I had to improve in order to win her love and to be worthy of love from others. That transferred into my adult life. Now at 55 years old and my relationship with my mother finally over, it is quite empowering to be able to affirm myself with the words, “I am enough and worthy of love just as I am.”
It reminded me that I need to practice this more often. Each time I practice this process I find subtler and subtler layers of self judgement. I know in my heart that I can accept and release whatever comes up. I am the ocean and I’m not afraid of the waves. Thanks 🙂
I would need more time to do this exercise. The image of the two arrows seems to be too strong to me although I can understand the meaning. But I like the three steps.
I had a deep sense of gratitude! Now to put it into practice when I feel triggered! ❤️⚓️✌🏼🙏
Overwhelmed with emotions. Hand on heart, two hands on heart, tears, anger, I don’t know any other way than to blame myself. There is a lot of resistance. Starting to get anxious, restless, what time is it? I should be walking? What are you doing? A walk would be more helpful. Thoughts are bombarding me.
I thank you, Tara, for sharing your painful experience. It’s not easy. But it helps so much. During this exercise, I was reminded how I tend to be a perfectionist and judgmental but only about myself. With others, I’m more forgiving and understanding.. Because of your help with opening my heart space, I feel motivated to start treating myself more the way I treat others. I want to be more of a friend to myself. I want to have more gratitude for all that comes my way-positive or negative.
I am so grateful to you!
Namaste🙏
I think I need a longer guided time with this one. It was harder for me to access. Not sure why. Maybe because this is a difficult area? I don’t even realize when I’m using that second arrow, judging myself.
Being kind to myself does not come easy. I tend to be harsh on myself either by thinking I’m not good enough for someone or something or by allowing others to pass judgement.
When I tried to do the heart space task. I didn’t find it easy because I’m not good at comforting myself. But it will be something I will practice more often.
I initially felt depletion and emptiness on lower jaw on my face, throat and upper chest. With the exercise afterwards I felt a sense of lightness around these areas.
I noticed he pressure to get things done kept comin up.
grounding, reassurance, settling or calming. self love 💕 self reliance
Probably the most powerful question ever: “What am I unwilling (aka afraid) to feel?” Wow. For me, that was opening myself to feelings of inadequacy, unworthiness, and fear. It was hard to show kindness to this part of me… I’ve always tried to hide it. Like many of the posts I’ve been reading, it made me want to cry.
Peace within
relief and warmth
I immediately noticed a tension, mostly in my chest. I put my hand here and gently held it against my chest. I told myself it’s ok, it’s ok. Then I was able to relax and let go of the monetary tension that came up.
I felt my emotions arise to tears. I am being so hard on myself. I am blaming myself and others for their imperfections. Holding myself and others to very high standard. I was able to move from head to heart and getting there on heartspace.
The video of the ocean that was used brought a very calming image to my mind. That the waves, no matter how large, are really just a very small part of a deep and peaceful ocean that is calm by natural design. That is where the heart lives.
I continue to feel great appreciation for trusting my intuition and finding my own way.
felt some relief at accepting my guilt. I need to envision it as my springboard.
I thought the suggestion of visualizing the ocean and the waves when we are fearful, anxious or in pain was a good one. I put my hands on my heart and acknowledged that this was ok and a part of normalcy. It helped me realize that the waves do pass and that calm will return.
Hard for me to accept comfort even from myself, but it shifted something a bit.
GreT sense of Fatigue
The analogy of the ocean and waves resonated with me.
I comforted my shame and inadequecy
I remembered my time last night from 3 AM to 6 AM. I woke up with fear of losing my husband, and being alone. I allowed these thoughts and then moved into my body as to where I felt them. I saw myself as a teenager carrying a lot of excess fat feeling so so lonely. I tried so hard to just hold that little girl and give her love and soon a peacefulness came. I was able to except my husband’s conversation about death, he said it makes him feel more alive when he can except the death. And we love each other more. I am forever grateful for all your practises.
A softening a feeling of nurturing myself and it being ok to be me and my feelings & thoughts are not wrong they just are and make perfect sense
I experienced an important epiphany about how to be a better person for myself and thereby for others
love those videos. please keep them coming back. i always learn something new when listening and doing the exercise. thank you.
Felt overwhelmed, denial, and insecure. Couldn’t go much further. I would try again for once
I Felt lighter and safe
It’s ok I’m here for you
This also belongs works for me