I understand how this technique may work for some, personally I have trouble doing it and making my efforts “stick”(integrating my true desired feelings about myself). I realize it’s a process and continuing to practice Tara’s great advice potentially could put me/my heart at ease.
Thank-you so much for these videos of practices that we all need to heal ourselves and our relationships.
I am sitting here in the early morning feeling more connected, softer and more open to my self. That does not feel like a small task…
Thank-you for all the work you do.
This was really hard to find me, I really need this. I am exhausted, so not easy to unblock.
A new, and desperately needed new practice.
Thank you! So much!
Donald Nickerson, Counseling, Kingston, MA, USAsays
I gave my feelings of unworthiness permission to be there. They were wave’s and naturally moving through! I let them be. I feel less stressed and want to hug “Little Donnie.”
I realized I am still using the “double arrow” to judge myself when it comes to my struggle with weight maintenance. I have learned, and practiced, self-compassion in various parts of my life but the weight issue has plagued me since childhood. Being even slightly overweight brings a sense of shame and a feeling of “less than” when I compare myself to others. During this exercise my heart space acknowledged how much progress I’ve made over the years by eating healthy foods and exercising. My favourite saying now is “Good Job!!!!” and I offer that phrase readily to self and others as a way to recognize the positives.
Tara this is amazing 😉 this is so important right now I have a habit of self judgment and I hope by practicing head to heart to heart space I will start moving from this destructive self defeating habit I feel very hopeful thank you 🙏
I became aware of how subservient I have been to my harsh inner critic. I have surrendered to its “truth” and let it take control of a me which is not the real me.
I have hurt and neglected many people in my life, mostly those really close the me.
I regret this so much but I cannot change the past. These things haunt me and cause me so much pain.
I am not a Christian but I do receive Richard Rohr’s daily meditations.This week he is talking about Mercy .Mercy is “undeserved” but if we cannot accept it it is difficult for us to be merciful to others. He is talking about God ,of course. It is a sort of “flow”. This idea makes things different for me and I feel you are talking about the same thing. I am finding it possible for me to ,perhaps, not shoot the second arrow but I am not sure how.
Very interesting visceral experiences mine was about anger and frustration at other and not allowing myself or knowing more deeply a way to be with it wisely and hold it so it could be expressed here in this exercise I felt a deep vibration within my chest bone and down my spine and diaphragm and solar plexus it was like that whole area the middle Dāntián for some was vibrating deeply and with a darkness as I have done an amount of work on myself I was ok to be with this energy and yet it also had a sense of ooh this is a bit different a bit ugly if one would dare to say and I called in to say it’s ok I will listen to you I will hear your words your heart your hurt and a deep warmth like a warm winter fire came up through the internal side of my body saying I need you to hear me and 🙏
This is fascinating work and the more I practice the more I know I can bring this to my clients – so thank you for your sharing your heartspace of global transitioning into heartspace 🙏🌸🙏🌸
I did notice one thing. Even when I didn’t completely believe I was doing the practice I noticed shortly after that I became aware of how I’m in a story line, how I’m retelling a background story in my thoughts.
I was taken back to myself as a child experiencing being criticized… and how wonderful to be able to come in, through time and space, to walk in as an older maturer version of myself and tell that little child “it’s ok” with care and compassion! That poor little child! She probably needed the comfort THEN and it breaks my heart to think of it.
I felt more connected to myself as I practiced the head to heart to heart space practice. The thoughts shifted from blaming others to feeling my own vulnerability.
When focused on head, I felt a tightness in my throat, moving to heart and telling myself ‘I hear you Kymmie, I will always hear you’ the tightness melted away. I worked on opening my heart space. I feel lighter and more optimistic.
I opened up to compassion for myself.
It’s so obvious to me why I’m so attached to my therapist and yet I berate myself for it continuously. It was good to take a moment to open up to compassion. When I did, I just cried and let myself be sad with the little abandoned girl in me.
I became aware of the way the narrative I create describes me as lonely, despite having a loving partner, family and friends.
And when I could speak comforting words to myself, that eased
I was dealing with some old trauma that resurfaced during a camping trip through Meetup with people I didn’t know. I tried connecting with people but they seem to be going into little groups and there was some other things as well. it brought up where I started to feel that what was wrong with me what did I do wrong? as I was going deeper into my heart I realize that what I want is love. but it also means that some people will not be capable as of yet to give and receive love. and I needed time away from the camping place because it was very loud and noisy with music and I just wanted to commune with nature so I took my car and went somewhere else and then came back.
Hi!
I’ve been in therapy for 27 years not being able to get it that my love is valuable to myself, being sexually abused before 2 years old and on by Bio Dad & mom!
I’m sorry I love you to pieces but a little 27 page book came across my iPad that has changed this old woman immensely, inside me.
As I listen to you I wonder if Grace didn’t step in and heal me through the words in this 27 page book.
I in no way means any disrespect I wonder if you will contact me to be curious about this little book being that maybe it’s not one of anyone’s there(no disrespect)! I’ve done somatic work with my therapist for a long time and I just I don’t know I just couldn’t get it! Until Now❣️ 🙏❤️🔥🙏🏽 I am over flowing Gratefulness! No matter where it comes from! 🫶🫶🏾
The exercise made me connect with my mum and how hard she can be, we both need and deserve tons of compassion, I will keep on my meditation with this topic for a bit longer
I very much enjoyed the ocean representation of us being our heart space. It brang an instant strength to this part of me. I’m aware that the recognition of the negative feelings, a part of the human condition and intelligent, needs attention. The second arrow in questioning those feelings has frequently stunted my growth. It has in the past and does still but not quite as much. I have suffered and my relationships suffered from a stagnant emotional growth of my negative emotions. Acknowledging the emotion, feeding it wisely, and inviting it to rest in the ocean is a way to go. In the ocean, all my emotions can have fun together.
I love these exercises. They can be done anywhere anytime for healing. I will try them. I love RAIN, as well. You’re a great lady! Taj PS. I used the Depak Chopra exercise for several months. It was when I was judging others, ” I will judge no one “. It really did help me and I’m much happier now I’m far less stressed when people do things I don’t like. I’m sure this will help me as well. Thank you.
I could see a way through my self blame habit and struggles. I will try use this idea of head to heart to heart space to drop the repetitive chatter in my head
I could see a way through my self blame habit and struggles. I will try use this idea of head to heart to heart space to drop the repetitive chatter in my head
I breathe through my throat and began to feel less tighter. I whispered to myself it’s okay and imagined liquid love wrapping my throat. I felt belonging ❤️
Going from head to heart, I envisioned enormous out of control red flames, feeling a trauma-type feeling of being helpless, while also feeling the flames were part of my own unconscious self-blame and suffering.
But then going from heart to heart-space, there was a softening, & I suddenly realized all I had to do was pour a glass of water on the fire. Imagining do so, brought immense release. It’s wild how we can enable our own suffering while also feeling the self-punishment & hopelessness…
I cannot thank you enough for this amazing exercise. The 1st exercise had me in tears of compassion, which I’d long lost. I read your book years ago, & it was helpful at the time, but as is part of life, things happened (including severe traumas, which I felt I must have deserved). It’s like every time I’ve gotten close to self-love, compassion, nurturing, healing… WHAM! I seem to attract that “punishment” to prove how wrong I am, as I must deserve it instead of love & healing.
I’ve felt so out of control with suffering from within and without, but with these amazingly simple yet powerful exercises, I seem to have finally sensed relief, release, compassion, hope as real possibilities… even realities. Practicing these exercises often could release so much of what I’ve almost constantly been overwhelmingly trying to “fix”.
I noticed that I was fearful of the idea that things were beyond my control, making me feel helpless, less than and weak as a victim. Also noticed how much direction and energy I automatically produce in attempting to get control or at least my illusion of control back to me in order to be centered and still. I noticed that Ihave the option, in heartspace, to allow things as they are and to go with it vs trying to control the flow! This releases me from being the frantic victim of life’s directions and the directions other people are taking on their journey. The heartspace suddenly made it safe for me to be in the moment as it is and will be. No need to be the victim of life as it shows up. Making the space for what is enables me to focus on where I can be the field of love vs the angry, scared victim. The little boy appeared with these memories and when I put my hand on my heart he was comforted and consoled, and accepted as is. This was and is very calming for me, and “us”.
I became sad when I realized how many years I’ve been shooting the second arrow at myself. I’ve been punishing myself for years of less than wise choices which manifested from a lack of some basic needs in childhood. These situations were beyond my control. I will be kinder to myself now.
I envisioned myself, as I am now, comforting myself when I was a little girl, being the loving, attentive grandmother that I didn’t have. It was a beautiful moment, and I did feel comforted.
I have heard the talk of the second arrow and am learning to catch myself when self blaming. Every time I identify that I have shot the second arrow I am able to shift out of self blame and feel the immediate shift. I am learning to sit with the underlying feeling. I am getting better at step 3 of offering self care. It’s very good to hear this talk again, as I continue my journey within. Thank you so much Tara for your generosity; your techniques are working to reduce my inner suffering.
It seems so easy and yet can be so lost in the moment-that shift from being in the head which I associate with thinking/judging and being in the heart/heart space- it takes a softening and I think I can do it best when I visualize descending from the tension of thinking to the softening heart-just writing this give me solace and hope that I can create the habit of kindness to myself by letting go of being in head to the kindness of being in the heart.
Thank you
So many second arrows! I have done something like this on occasion but with so many jabs at myself it occurs all too rarely. I felt it only slightly today but every try is good and will have to remember to try this more often. That voice in my head has harassed me for too many years. The last big really bad decision I made is one I still live with-wrong house on the wrong road, maybe the wrong place?-and so it is with me every day and at 70 years old not so easy to get past. I keep trying though.
This message sounded so true it happens so often and I’ve even been able to notice the first arrow and the second arrow. Now I am interested in trying to do the three steps. I feel very encouraged to do that.
I understand how this technique may work for some, personally I have trouble doing it and making my efforts “stick”(integrating my true desired feelings about myself). I realize it’s a process and continuing to practice Tara’s great advice potentially could put me/my heart at ease.
I felt a tightness in my throat, heart, and stomach letting go and opening up.
Thank-you so much for these videos of practices that we all need to heal ourselves and our relationships.
I am sitting here in the early morning feeling more connected, softer and more open to my self. That does not feel like a small task…
Thank-you for all the work you do.
Going to keep practising.
This was really hard to find me, I really need this. I am exhausted, so not easy to unblock.
A new, and desperately needed new practice.
Thank you! So much!
I gave my feelings of unworthiness permission to be there. They were wave’s and naturally moving through! I let them be. I feel less stressed and want to hug “Little Donnie.”
I realized I am still using the “double arrow” to judge myself when it comes to my struggle with weight maintenance. I have learned, and practiced, self-compassion in various parts of my life but the weight issue has plagued me since childhood. Being even slightly overweight brings a sense of shame and a feeling of “less than” when I compare myself to others. During this exercise my heart space acknowledged how much progress I’ve made over the years by eating healthy foods and exercising. My favourite saying now is “Good Job!!!!” and I offer that phrase readily to self and others as a way to recognize the positives.
Tara this is amazing 😉 this is so important right now I have a habit of self judgment and I hope by practicing head to heart to heart space I will start moving from this destructive self defeating habit I feel very hopeful thank you 🙏
I became aware of how subservient I have been to my harsh inner critic. I have surrendered to its “truth” and let it take control of a me which is not the real me.
I have hurt and neglected many people in my life, mostly those really close the me.
I regret this so much but I cannot change the past. These things haunt me and cause me so much pain.
I am not a Christian but I do receive Richard Rohr’s daily meditations.This week he is talking about Mercy .Mercy is “undeserved” but if we cannot accept it it is difficult for us to be merciful to others. He is talking about God ,of course. It is a sort of “flow”. This idea makes things different for me and I feel you are talking about the same thing. I am finding it possible for me to ,perhaps, not shoot the second arrow but I am not sure how.
Very interesting visceral experiences mine was about anger and frustration at other and not allowing myself or knowing more deeply a way to be with it wisely and hold it so it could be expressed here in this exercise I felt a deep vibration within my chest bone and down my spine and diaphragm and solar plexus it was like that whole area the middle Dāntián for some was vibrating deeply and with a darkness as I have done an amount of work on myself I was ok to be with this energy and yet it also had a sense of ooh this is a bit different a bit ugly if one would dare to say and I called in to say it’s ok I will listen to you I will hear your words your heart your hurt and a deep warmth like a warm winter fire came up through the internal side of my body saying I need you to hear me and 🙏
This is fascinating work and the more I practice the more I know I can bring this to my clients – so thank you for your sharing your heartspace of global transitioning into heartspace 🙏🌸🙏🌸
Such a release of tension; tears of happiness that I attended to my inner child. Thank you!
I hope I can use this now for my child.
I did notice one thing. Even when I didn’t completely believe I was doing the practice I noticed shortly after that I became aware of how I’m in a story line, how I’m retelling a background story in my thoughts.
I was taken back to myself as a child experiencing being criticized… and how wonderful to be able to come in, through time and space, to walk in as an older maturer version of myself and tell that little child “it’s ok” with care and compassion! That poor little child! She probably needed the comfort THEN and it breaks my heart to think of it.
I felt more connected to myself as I practiced the head to heart to heart space practice. The thoughts shifted from blaming others to feeling my own vulnerability.
When focused on head, I felt a tightness in my throat, moving to heart and telling myself ‘I hear you Kymmie, I will always hear you’ the tightness melted away. I worked on opening my heart space. I feel lighter and more optimistic.
couldn’t really do it.. I made notes about the steps, I have heard much of this before, but couldn’t get out of my thoughts to really shift
It’s very hard to let go of your thoughts, but thoughts do a lot of damage. The three steps were difficult to do, however it felt right.
I opened up to compassion for myself.
It’s so obvious to me why I’m so attached to my therapist and yet I berate myself for it continuously. It was good to take a moment to open up to compassion. When I did, I just cried and let myself be sad with the little abandoned girl in me.
I became aware of the way the narrative I create describes me as lonely, despite having a loving partner, family and friends.
And when I could speak comforting words to myself, that eased
I became aware of the tension I hold in my chest.
I was dealing with some old trauma that resurfaced during a camping trip through Meetup with people I didn’t know. I tried connecting with people but they seem to be going into little groups and there was some other things as well. it brought up where I started to feel that what was wrong with me what did I do wrong? as I was going deeper into my heart I realize that what I want is love. but it also means that some people will not be capable as of yet to give and receive love. and I needed time away from the camping place because it was very loud and noisy with music and I just wanted to commune with nature so I took my car and went somewhere else and then came back.
I was surprised to notice that with my hand over my heart and soothing thoughts, the uneasiness in my chest actually started to dissipate.
couldn’t do it
Hi!
I’ve been in therapy for 27 years not being able to get it that my love is valuable to myself, being sexually abused before 2 years old and on by Bio Dad & mom!
I’m sorry I love you to pieces but a little 27 page book came across my iPad that has changed this old woman immensely, inside me.
As I listen to you I wonder if Grace didn’t step in and heal me through the words in this 27 page book.
I in no way means any disrespect I wonder if you will contact me to be curious about this little book being that maybe it’s not one of anyone’s there(no disrespect)! I’ve done somatic work with my therapist for a long time and I just I don’t know I just couldn’t get it! Until Now❣️ 🙏❤️🔥🙏🏽 I am over flowing Gratefulness! No matter where it comes from! 🫶🫶🏾
The exercise made me connect with my mum and how hard she can be, we both need and deserve tons of compassion, I will keep on my meditation with this topic for a bit longer
I very much enjoyed the ocean representation of us being our heart space. It brang an instant strength to this part of me. I’m aware that the recognition of the negative feelings, a part of the human condition and intelligent, needs attention. The second arrow in questioning those feelings has frequently stunted my growth. It has in the past and does still but not quite as much. I have suffered and my relationships suffered from a stagnant emotional growth of my negative emotions. Acknowledging the emotion, feeding it wisely, and inviting it to rest in the ocean is a way to go. In the ocean, all my emotions can have fun together.
I love these exercises. They can be done anywhere anytime for healing. I will try them. I love RAIN, as well. You’re a great lady! Taj PS. I used the Depak Chopra exercise for several months. It was when I was judging others, ” I will judge no one “. It really did help me and I’m much happier now I’m far less stressed when people do things I don’t like. I’m sure this will help me as well. Thank you.
Be kind and merciful to myself and others.
I could see a way through my self blame habit and struggles. I will try use this idea of head to heart to heart space to drop the repetitive chatter in my head
I could see a way through my self blame habit and struggles. I will try use this idea of head to heart to heart space to drop the repetitive chatter in my head
I breathe through my throat and began to feel less tighter. I whispered to myself it’s okay and imagined liquid love wrapping my throat. I felt belonging ❤️
Thank you for all your love & guidance Tara 🙏
Less fear, more acceptance of what is. At this moment we are learning anger at self does nothing for our innermost self.
Going from head to heart, I envisioned enormous out of control red flames, feeling a trauma-type feeling of being helpless, while also feeling the flames were part of my own unconscious self-blame and suffering.
But then going from heart to heart-space, there was a softening, & I suddenly realized all I had to do was pour a glass of water on the fire. Imagining do so, brought immense release. It’s wild how we can enable our own suffering while also feeling the self-punishment & hopelessness…
I cannot thank you enough for this amazing exercise. The 1st exercise had me in tears of compassion, which I’d long lost. I read your book years ago, & it was helpful at the time, but as is part of life, things happened (including severe traumas, which I felt I must have deserved). It’s like every time I’ve gotten close to self-love, compassion, nurturing, healing… WHAM! I seem to attract that “punishment” to prove how wrong I am, as I must deserve it instead of love & healing.
I’ve felt so out of control with suffering from within and without, but with these amazingly simple yet powerful exercises, I seem to have finally sensed relief, release, compassion, hope as real possibilities… even realities. Practicing these exercises often could release so much of what I’ve almost constantly been overwhelmingly trying to “fix”.
Bless you!
I noticed that I was fearful of the idea that things were beyond my control, making me feel helpless, less than and weak as a victim. Also noticed how much direction and energy I automatically produce in attempting to get control or at least my illusion of control back to me in order to be centered and still. I noticed that Ihave the option, in heartspace, to allow things as they are and to go with it vs trying to control the flow! This releases me from being the frantic victim of life’s directions and the directions other people are taking on their journey. The heartspace suddenly made it safe for me to be in the moment as it is and will be. No need to be the victim of life as it shows up. Making the space for what is enables me to focus on where I can be the field of love vs the angry, scared victim. The little boy appeared with these memories and when I put my hand on my heart he was comforted and consoled, and accepted as is. This was and is very calming for me, and “us”.
I realised my self compassion is quite good
It was not easy! But I will repeat it several times. Thank you
I became sad when I realized how many years I’ve been shooting the second arrow at myself. I’ve been punishing myself for years of less than wise choices which manifested from a lack of some basic needs in childhood. These situations were beyond my control. I will be kinder to myself now.
I envisioned myself, as I am now, comforting myself when I was a little girl, being the loving, attentive grandmother that I didn’t have. It was a beautiful moment, and I did feel comforted.
A sense of inability. The issues look large. They repeat and seem intractable.
I have heard the talk of the second arrow and am learning to catch myself when self blaming. Every time I identify that I have shot the second arrow I am able to shift out of self blame and feel the immediate shift. I am learning to sit with the underlying feeling. I am getting better at step 3 of offering self care. It’s very good to hear this talk again, as I continue my journey within. Thank you so much Tara for your generosity; your techniques are working to reduce my inner suffering.
Most of all I’ve ended with am alive sense of love I can trust in my own heart. Thank you 🙏
It seems so easy and yet can be so lost in the moment-that shift from being in the head which I associate with thinking/judging and being in the heart/heart space- it takes a softening and I think I can do it best when I visualize descending from the tension of thinking to the softening heart-just writing this give me solace and hope that I can create the habit of kindness to myself by letting go of being in head to the kindness of being in the heart.
Thank you
I found it a huge release of emotions, and I could tell myself that I did what I did because I was desperate and it wasn’t my fault.
tears of vulnerability
There is such a release of tensions and the I feel the healing process is activated
So many second arrows! I have done something like this on occasion but with so many jabs at myself it occurs all too rarely. I felt it only slightly today but every try is good and will have to remember to try this more often. That voice in my head has harassed me for too many years. The last big really bad decision I made is one I still live with-wrong house on the wrong road, maybe the wrong place?-and so it is with me every day and at 70 years old not so easy to get past. I keep trying though.
This message sounded so true it happens so often and I’ve even been able to notice the first arrow and the second arrow. Now I am interested in trying to do the three steps. I feel very encouraged to do that.
I experienced the reminder that moving into the heart feelings is always an available option, a choice that I can make for my own compassionate good
my comment after the 1st video didn´t show up… therefore not commenting here till I know what´s happening