Eventhou I thought that I’d forgiven my father, my ex, my brother, my friend, I realize now again, after watching your video, Tara, that it needs to be done over and over again. Cause the blaming inside comes back, the trigger to other aggression, comes back. Even notice that I become more vulnerable and the body gives a direct and intense reaction to it, inside. It also scares me.
Now, it gives me clarity, compassion and a feeling of freedom to love them all, including my self a bit more.
So good to lister to this video, and I will again.
Thank you so much, it is so meaningful and life giving.
With much love and ever lasting compassion, Catherina
I would accept myself and be more consistent in giving loving kindness to my “self” and “others” from whom I experience their judgement of blame that evokes my shame and feelings of “less than” or “unworthiness”.
All of the videos brought tears to the surface. I have a very dear friend that I have lost touch with for many reasons. This exercise helped me see past the anger to the hurt, and understand how we both have been suffering.
More gentle, fluid, open, kinder & listening more… Thank you Tara!
I did this about a repetitive reaction(Anger) around my teen son…I was disconnected and now connected.
Making the U turn is a very good technique to realise that it is within my own reach to turn a situation around by reframing and letting go of blame and giving myself permission to truely understand what is behind the blame, to ‘feel’ the hurt … that our mind being caught in the trap of our own beliefs is what really holds us back.
Thank you Tara for sharing this technique with me today, at a time when I really needed to understand what is making me feel trapped and angry. Namaste 🙏
If I could let go of self-judgement…I could experience less sadness and be more able to reach out with more confidence and create more belonging for myself and others.
Thank you Tara. Blame & shame are often intertwined for me & the simple practice of staying with the feeling before I start blaming
can be painful but is ultimately freeing. 🙏
I would be a healthier person! But I’m in a situation that you described in which my marriage has been broken by horrible things my wife has done… I have worked to understand why, how her pain led to the events… but she continues to hurt me in ways I can’t stop legally yet… so my compassion is there, I desperately want to forgive and move forward but I’m stuck because she still triggers me with constant hurtful actions!
I would be love and wisdom in the face of systemic and institutional bigotry, denial and opression. How can I, as a woman of color move through this with daily micro aggressions? I suffer from immense compassion fatigue.
I really appreciate your teachings. it is hard to practice skillfully sometimes. (a note on the visuals in the video is that it is all heterosexual couples, you all can do better than that in reflecting all types of relationship.)
I understand the importance of seing the other person as a wounded person and feel compassion and show compassion. But when this person continues to hurt me and takes my compassion as a weakness it feels unfair to continue to feel compassion. It is as if I am choosing to love the wounded little child inside this person over loving the wounded little child inside me.
I suffered many years of extraordinary abuse (domestic violence psychological brutality), trauma, and grief (my wife went crazy and died a ghastly death). She loved me. Through it all, I never blamed her (I knew full well her tragic childhood, brother’s suicide followed by incest and sexual assault by her uncles). She convinced me that I was the one who was crazy. The result was that I failed to protect myself… and alienated those close to me who could not understand how I allowed it. The arc of my story is tragic beyond description.
Thank you, Tara! As a survivor of compound traumas from early childhood on, I am grateful to be able to learn from & grow & connect with you & others, in Oneness.
Ironically, I chose nursing as a career, after my third child turned 3. I used to say, “…I did everything backwards…”, because I was still a junior in high school when I became pregnant with my first child. At the ripe age of 28, though my ego was “driving the bus”, I truly believed that I’d received enough therapy & recovered enough to: “do it myself!”, become autonomous, buy a house, etc. I visualized so often, didn’t know how to meditate or live mindfully, but I visualized becoming ready to meet the man of my dreams & live happily ever after. 🤣🤣🤣
I love RAIN, I thank you for “pause”, I subscribe to you on YouTube & listen almost daily, you have really helped me find moments of peace & appreciate presence so much! Blessings with Love & Sincere Gratitude, Namaste💛
I will be relaxed, less self conscious
Softer and nicer when looking at people
I will be able to be more aware of my presence in the present moment.
Able to embody my practice and my spirituality
I will be happier
I would be a much happier and funnier person. A person I used to be and now find myself stuck in this angry mind-set over things I can not change.
Thanks for the video.
Beverly Ra, Another Field, IL, USA says
I would feel more safe secure and peaceful.
Anonymous says
Helpful, thank you
Franziska Gar, Other, Santa Clarita , CA, USA says
A better person. I recently lost a relationship because of my harshness and inability to forgive.
Deborah Weir, Counseling, Scottsdale, AZ, USA says
I would be softer, kinder and more present with myself and othered. I would feel more and more at peace.
Mauna Liddiarz, Other, USA says
I could be more open and accepting of a happy and peaceful life.
Catherina Hofman, Psychotherapy, NL says
Eventhou I thought that I’d forgiven my father, my ex, my brother, my friend, I realize now again, after watching your video, Tara, that it needs to be done over and over again. Cause the blaming inside comes back, the trigger to other aggression, comes back. Even notice that I become more vulnerable and the body gives a direct and intense reaction to it, inside. It also scares me.
Now, it gives me clarity, compassion and a feeling of freedom to love them all, including my self a bit more.
So good to lister to this video, and I will again.
Thank you so much, it is so meaningful and life giving.
With much love and ever lasting compassion, Catherina
Jennifer Jacobson (home), Another Field, Northampton , MA, USA says
Calmer, joyful, compassionate
Monica Schreiner, Clergy, SE says
More free and more loving
Marie S., Counseling, USA says
I’d be much more peaceful and calm. Happier with myself and others, realizing we’re doing the best we can under the circumstances we have.
Marie S.
Anonymous, Psychology, AU says
A more liberated and serene being.
Shannon Speaks, Social Work, City, OH, USA says
I would be more emotionally available to my Mom.
Kerry Richardson, Teacher, CA says
I would accept myself and be more consistent in giving loving kindness to my “self” and “others” from whom I experience their judgement of blame that evokes my shame and feelings of “less than” or “unworthiness”.
Casey Salony, Another Field, Cresson, PA, USA says
A more engaging person.
Michelle McElwain, Teacher, PORTLAND, ME, USA says
All of the videos brought tears to the surface. I have a very dear friend that I have lost touch with for many reasons. This exercise helped me see past the anger to the hurt, and understand how we both have been suffering.
Sherry Burkart, Berkeley, CA, USA says
I’m so thankful for all your Wonderful Videos
Thank you for your generosity and wisdom
Sherry 💚🧡💜
Sean Cook, Psychology, Sacramento, CA, USA says
I would be free.
Salila OConnor, Other, AU says
More gentle, fluid, open, kinder & listening more… Thank you Tara!
I did this about a repetitive reaction(Anger) around my teen son…I was disconnected and now connected.
Warmly Salila
Anonymous says
I would be my happy, sunny self, with less anger, anxiety and worry
Yo Hooger, Another Field, NL says
i remain at the deepest core at ease. calm, clear, cool, centered
Lisa Beardsley, Teacher, USA says
I would be present, loving and kind to myself and others, and enjoy life more.
Dawn Valasco, Teacher, Charlotte, NC, USA says
A free soul, a more compassionate person
Monica Hughson, Coach, FR says
I would stop the cycle of anger and blame within myself and others. I then would discover my authentic self and help others be more authentic as well.
Jayne Ronan, Other, AU says
Making the U turn is a very good technique to realise that it is within my own reach to turn a situation around by reframing and letting go of blame and giving myself permission to truely understand what is behind the blame, to ‘feel’ the hurt … that our mind being caught in the trap of our own beliefs is what really holds us back.
Thank you Tara for sharing this technique with me today, at a time when I really needed to understand what is making me feel trapped and angry. Namaste 🙏
zoe kanat, Teacher, AU says
Someone full of love and compassion!
Shanna Lakho, Other, Aurora, CO, USA says
A happier person
Cindy Mason, Another Field, USA says
If I could let go of blame and judgment I would be able to love more.
Shirley Fessell, Elizabeth, IN, USA says
A peaceful joyful person
Nives Houlihan says
I would find inner peace and feel freedom
Mary Harris, Nursing, La Crescent , MN, USA says
I would be a joyous, energetic free soul that would look forward to each and every day!
Tracy Springer, Psychotherapy, Kronenwetter , WI, USA says
A serene human and not allowing people, places and things/situations to spend endless amounts of time in my head!
Anne Lawrence, Teacher, AU says
Softer, gentler, clearer, better boundaries
Joan O'Leary, Teacher, CA says
If I could let go of self-judgement…I could experience less sadness and be more able to reach out with more confidence and create more belonging for myself and others.
Kutti A, Other, SG says
A happier person inside out.
Anonymous says
Thank you Tara. Blame & shame are often intertwined for me & the simple practice of staying with the feeling before I start blaming
can be painful but is ultimately freeing. 🙏
Jason Barton, Exercise Physiology, CA says
I would be a healthier person! But I’m in a situation that you described in which my marriage has been broken by horrible things my wife has done… I have worked to understand why, how her pain led to the events… but she continues to hurt me in ways I can’t stop legally yet… so my compassion is there, I desperately want to forgive and move forward but I’m stuck because she still triggers me with constant hurtful actions!
Anonymous says
A better person
Rosemary Dean, Psychotherapy, IN says
A free happy person
Lisa DeMicco, Peekskill , NY, USA says
A calmer, clearer and lighter person.
Erin Gaudreault, Social Work, Pinehurst, NC, USA says
I imagine that of I could let go of judgment and chronic blame, I would find a greater sense of ease and peace in my life and close relationships.
Mona Wilson, Psychotherapy, NZ says
I would be love and wisdom in the face of systemic and institutional bigotry, denial and opression. How can I, as a woman of color move through this with daily micro aggressions? I suffer from immense compassion fatigue.
s r, Other, New Haven, CT, USA says
I really appreciate your teachings. it is hard to practice skillfully sometimes. (a note on the visuals in the video is that it is all heterosexual couples, you all can do better than that in reflecting all types of relationship.)
Karla Miller, Counseling, New Haven , CT, USA says
FREE
Mart Ben, Other, CH says
I understand the importance of seing the other person as a wounded person and feel compassion and show compassion. But when this person continues to hurt me and takes my compassion as a weakness it feels unfair to continue to feel compassion. It is as if I am choosing to love the wounded little child inside this person over loving the wounded little child inside me.
James Freeman, Other, Walnut Creek, CA, USA says
I suffered many years of extraordinary abuse (domestic violence psychological brutality), trauma, and grief (my wife went crazy and died a ghastly death). She loved me. Through it all, I never blamed her (I knew full well her tragic childhood, brother’s suicide followed by incest and sexual assault by her uncles). She convinced me that I was the one who was crazy. The result was that I failed to protect myself… and alienated those close to me who could not understand how I allowed it. The arc of my story is tragic beyond description.
Audrey K, Social Work, AE says
A joyful being. More confident, open and accepting of myself and others.
Laura Gergen, Nursing, Mound, MN, USA says
Thank you, Tara! As a survivor of compound traumas from early childhood on, I am grateful to be able to learn from & grow & connect with you & others, in Oneness.
Ironically, I chose nursing as a career, after my third child turned 3. I used to say, “…I did everything backwards…”, because I was still a junior in high school when I became pregnant with my first child. At the ripe age of 28, though my ego was “driving the bus”, I truly believed that I’d received enough therapy & recovered enough to: “do it myself!”, become autonomous, buy a house, etc. I visualized so often, didn’t know how to meditate or live mindfully, but I visualized becoming ready to meet the man of my dreams & live happily ever after. 🤣🤣🤣
I love RAIN, I thank you for “pause”, I subscribe to you on YouTube & listen almost daily, you have really helped me find moments of peace & appreciate presence so much! Blessings with Love & Sincere Gratitude, Namaste💛
Eleonora, Psychotherapy, AR says
I will be relaxed, less self conscious
Softer and nicer when looking at people
I will be able to be more aware of my presence in the present moment.
Able to embody my practice and my spirituality
I will be happier
Lynette Wearne, Other, AU says
Spaciousness
Sherry Greenspan, Other, Lawrenceville, NJ, USA says
I when I let go of judgement and blame I am free to grieve, explore, grow, find light, and shine.
Dick Ward, Other, Fort Lauderdale, FL, USA says
I would be a much happier and funnier person. A person I used to be and now find myself stuck in this angry mind-set over things I can not change.
Thanks for the video.